Fitness Minutes: (10,050)
2/3/14 10:17 P
Bucket list has about 30 things, some silly and some material and some attainable. #1 silly girl: learn how to sing, really sing. #2 material: buy and restore a 1965-1967 Cadillac convertible, black, red leather interior. #3 attainable: finish landscaping the mountain hill outside my door.
Footnote to earlier posts I read this last week. "I asked her if she believed in love; and She said smiled and said, yes, it is my most elaborate method of self harm." I finally figured that out too....
2/3/14 8:11 P
Finding the love of your life is really out of your control.
Making a list of things that you really want to do. Is a good idea.
Fitness Minutes: (1,168)
2/3/14 7:33 P
I don't have a written list that I call a bucket list, however I do have a mental list of some significant goals which include: watch the tour de France from a roadway in France and cheer on the riders. Enjoy a leisurely afternoon at a sidewalk café in Italy just drinking wine and people watching. Climb to Machchu Pichu. Learn to ski well and enjoy it often.
It's not really a measurable, achievable goal. If you word it that way, you put yourself at risk of 3 things: a) you give up on your bucket list because you can't figure out how to do things you've put in it b) you feel like you've failed because you couldn't make yourself feel that way about anyone c) worst case: you convince yourself you're in love with somebody because you really want to complete your list.
"Find the love of my life" is kind of like "become a genius." It's not something that you recognize while it's happening, or that you can make happen, or even that you get to decide you've achieved! Other people help determine whether they're the love of your life or whether you can be considered a genius.
What you can do, though, is make a goal to achieve steps that might lead to that outcome. If you want to be a genius, you choose a topic in which you have some talent, and for one year you read a book a week about it, and the next year you write a paper a week about it, for example. You immerse yourself in the topic. If you want to find the love of your life, a reasonable goal would be something like, "ask someone out at least once a week, even if it's just for coffee." If you don't know/see enough eligible people to do that, a goal might be "join at least 3 social groups that include a lot of datable people, and start asking them out," or "give online dating services a try."
Actually, you gave a good example yourself. "See the Great Wall of China" is a good bucket-list item. "Learn to love other cultures" isn't-- but it might happen if you do the former.
I don't even bother. I live in a world where everyone says 'no'
2/3/14 8:41 A
idk.... instead of thinking of it as, "find the love of my life".... maybe think of it as "do everything I can possibly think of, to help me find the love of my life". You can't control the outcome, but you CAN do things to aid in it. Like for example, if you're a homebody... take a class or volunteer somewhere or join a book club or running group or something(s) else, that would get you out there and meeting new people, increasing the odds so to speak. The key would be, choosing things that you're interested in so that anyone you met there, would also be interested in those things too. A relative of mine was interested in Cajun dancing (lives in New Orleans) and met his future wife at dance classes.
Even if you did not find the love of your life, you'd know you did everything you could think of, to put yourself out there. It helps to be a little open-minded as well. My DH was not "my type"... invited me out several times before I finally decided, oh wth, I'm not doing anything else anyway. Turns out, I had been wrong all along about "my type" and we've been married going on 18 years.
I think what a bucket list boils down to is all the things you really really want to do or see or accomplish-- a lot of which probably involve more than just rising up off the couch today and buying a plane ticket. And then figuring out the steps you'd need to take, to reach those goals-- and actively working on those steps. Instead of just wishing for the outcome and not doing anything to reach your goals. Just like, instead of wishing you were thin and fit.... actually working on the steps that would help you reach that goal.
Fitness Minutes: (16,395)
1,280 2/2/14 8:14 P
Definitely, and I'm working on it in steps!
Fitness Minutes: (73,105)
2/2/14 8:07 P
#1 on my list, is to be in my own apartment this year. It is not wrong to have a wish list of sorts. It can keep one focused.
Fitness Minutes: (16,167)
2/2/14 6:56 P
I have a bucket list of several things. One of them is getting a novel published, but I don't think anyone should feel incomplete if they don't have or are not in a relationship of any kind. Go ahead and put it on your bucket list, but don't feel as if you've failed because you didn't get it accomplished. To me a bucket list is a wish list of accomplishments. good luck.
I don't think I'm incomplete if I'm not married. I didn't say I wanted to be married, as a matter of fact, I don't want to be and never have. But the love of my life would be pretty cool.
I am making a bucket list but treating it and calling it more an "ideas list" of things that would be cool/fun/good to do. That takes the pressure off or feeling like I have to accomplish something before I die.
Fitness Minutes: (245,710)
2/2/14 2:47 P
I have a bucket list of things I'd like to do. Speaking as a single person, I will tell you something I learned from watching a Dr Phil show on dating. You are not an incomplete person because you are not married or dating. There is a notion that a woman is not whole unless she is married. That is a misconception. The grass is greener on the other guy's lawn. We assume that if a person is married, they must be happy. And that's not true either. The happiness buck stops here. If we aren't happy with ourselves being single, we might not be happy when we are married.
What were we talking about ? lol
The point ? Yes, it's okay to have a bucket list that includes wanting to meet that right person. But don't assume something must be wrong with you just because you haven't found that one person just yet. Consider this statistic, the divorce rate in the US is 50%.
One thing I had on my bucket list and I am proud to say is ticked off was "paying off my student loan". It took me several years, but my student loan is paid off. I'm debt free. I've paid off all my bills.
Currently on my bucket list is to learn a language to fluency as well as learn to play guitar.
I think it is a good idea to have a bucket list of things you want to do that year, because in today's world it is too easy to get wrapped up in the mundane workweek activities and forgetting that time passes by too quickly. It you hope to find the love of your life, you need to put yourself out there. If you know what you want to do, you are more likely to do things that might make it happen. Just saying.
Is "Finding the love of my life" a good goal for a bucket list (top goals before I die)? It seems like something you can't really control for. For example, "Seeing the Great Wall of China" is easy - you get on a plane, and go. But finding the love of your life seems like a goal you can't really control the outcome of? Also I'd hate to feel as if I'd failed in not doing that?
Do you have a bucket list? What are some of your top items??
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