Makes no sense to me!

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7/27/11 12:18 P

EOWYN2424,

You're Asian, correct ? The reason your brother is treated better than you is because in many Asian cultures, the first son (any son really) is treated like a God. If your family had 7 daughters and the last child was a son, he'd be treated like a king. He's carrying the family name, not you. When you get married, you'll be expected to take your husbands name. He's preserving the family name. That's why he's treated better than you.

In the United States, there is more equality between the sexes. More women do teach their sons to be self sufficient and do their own house work. Women have more power here. Which we take for granted, I might add. but, that's another rant. Anyway, in other parts of the world, this is less the case. Even in Italy, many "moms" still do their adult sons laundry because that's what they think they're supposed to do. They take care of their son now because one day he's going to be expected to care for her.

Unless you get your own family and household, you're expected to do what you're told even though you are an adult.

You can't change your mom. You can only change how you react to her.



Edited by: ARCHIMEDESII at: 7/27/2011 (13:12)

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7/27/11 12:05 P

EOWYN2424 it could be your mother was trying to prepare you to become a mother one day. Or maybe you upset her for some reason? My mom did all the laundry when I was a kid and when my sister was about 13 she got involved with the laundry. (that was the old wringer style, not automatic). When I left home I did my own laundry and in my senior years I still do laundry along with my wife.

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7/27/11 12:03 P

Why people slam on their brakes when they see a cop

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7/27/11 11:49 A

SOME PARENTS SEE LAUNDRY, COOKING N CLEANING AS A WOMAN'S JOB AND PREP FOR WHEN SHE'S MARRIED/ HAS FAMILY.
I HAVE A SON AND I TAUGHT HIM TO DO HIS LAUNDRY, COOK AND CLEAN AS SURVIVAL SKILLS. EVERYONE NEEDS TO KNOW HOW TO BE A MAN / WOMAN ON THEIR OWN.

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7/27/11 11:33 A

You'd be happier if you spent less time worrying about what he is (or isn't) doing. My brother was always the babied one, got more things he wanted, didn't get in trouble for things, held to a lower standard, etc. You can't change how your parents approach the two of you differently, so instead of being annoyed because he doesn't have to be an adult, be proud of the fact that you know how to be one and get over him. Trust me, you will feel better focusing on yourself. In the big picture of life, is it really worth the energy it takes to let his laundry or other crap bother you so badly?

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7/27/11 9:46 A

Eowyn2424- Your mom sounds old fashioned to me and doesn't feel like she should have her son do his own laundry.--OR-- I think women look at son's very differently then daughters. I think SOME Moms think if i can do this then she can do this. When it comes to sons they might think, he wouldn't know how to do it right, or he will make a mess or ruin his clothes etc. I cannot say for sure since I do not have sons.

Edited by: NEW_LIFE_4_ME at: 7/27/2011 (09:54)

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7/27/11 8:50 A

I exercise, eat less & healthy...weight is staying the same....last yr I went from 145 to 129 in 5 months easy, but can not get it off this year.

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7/27/11 8:44 A

All I know is, when I was about 14, my Mom just took a freak over some stupid incident and decided not to do my laundry anymore, she just tossed all my laundry out and told me to do it myself. And I've been doing my own laundry ever since.

I guess it was about time I learnt too but what I don't get is, my brother should be just as capable to do it, so why is she still doing his? I had to do my own even when I was working. So, you can't say that I should do it because I'm not working now, I had to do it even when I was working full-time.

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7/27/11 3:57 A

My four year old daughter loves to help with the laundry and I encourage that. When I do have more kids, they will all learn to do laundry. I love my husband, but he doesn't know or chooses to not do laundry. If I beg enough, he will help me fold it.

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7/27/11 3:51 A

Does anyone still do this?

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7/26/11 11:51 P

I totally agree.

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7/26/11 10:25 P

I don't personally know any families who have different expectations for laundry chores based on gender. My nine year old son can do his own laundry from start to finish, my two year old daughter helps me fold and put away, and she loves to toss her own clothes into the washer as I'm loading it. Really, it's not difficult. I never dated a man who didn't know how to do laundry LOL that would be disgusting!!! I do my husband's laundry as he works, I'm home.

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7/26/11 10:20 P

My sons will know how to cook, clean and do their own laundry. I refuse to marry a man whose mother coddled him like that. If you dont know how to do your own laundry and are not willing to learn how to do it. Im not the girl for you. I dont have any children. Im not trying to marry one.

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7/26/11 7:24 P

My kids know to do laundrey.

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7/26/11 7:20 P

My mom expected all of us to learn to do our own laundry - she (rightly) viewed it as a essential life skill . . . we've all done our own since we were teenagers, and now that we are all grown an no longer live at home, my brother is one of the few boys his age who SOMETIMES wears clean clothes. (Just because he know how doesn't mean he always does it).LOL.

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7/26/11 4:23 P

My brothers both know how to do their own laundry, as does my boyfriend... I think in this day and age you are going to find more guys who can... especially once they are out on their own and don't want to have pink undies!! Maybe you see it more in Malaysia where you are that there is the big division between the genders, but not so much in the US.

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7/26/11 1:46 P

It's our duty as parents to teach our children prepare them for adult hood

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7/26/11 12:17 P

- - Life skills should be learned by both genders. We have 3 boys/3 girls.

Edited by: CAMEOSUN at: 7/26/2011 (12:19)

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7/26/11 10:47 A

Growing up chores were split by gender. My son & daughter share all chores. Times change.

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7/26/11 10:39 A

I wanted both my son and daughter to learn how to take care of themselves when they left the nest, so they needed to master the same skills.

Dishes, cooking, taking out the garbage, cleaning up their rooms, grocery shopping, balancing checkbooks, basic car maintenance and repairs, laundry, ironing....you get the idea.

The ability to function in a grown up world is confined to one sex or the other.

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7/26/11 9:47 A

This is a repeat thread by the same poster, I have a good memory. I see everyones advice from the last thread on the same subject didn't get your mom to change her ways. Did you read her any of the responses or did you even mention you created a thread on it? I do not know what the big deal is. I grew up with 7 siblings 3 boys and 4 girls plus I make 5 girls. The older boys did yard work stuff and us girls did inside the house chores. I do not have a son but if I did I would have him do garage stuff, taking out trash, yard work, car helper for his dad things like that. Only my mom did laundry for a house of 10 people when I grew up and she never taught us how to wash but I was able to walk up to a washing machine and use it. It isn't something that needs to be taught, only told once and even on most machines the directions are printed on the inside lid. I guess I am old fashioned and like some differences in the sexes. Everything is a battle between both sexes.

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7/26/11 9:37 A

Both my kids (1 Boy & 1 Girl) do their own laundry (sorting folding and putting away)

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7/26/11 9:30 A

Mine take turns for everything...laundry, dishes, trash, and feeding the dog! No special treatment for either. They ALL need these skills in the future to manage their own homes.. BOYS and GIRLS.

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7/26/11 9:23 A

My son had many chores around the house, including the laundry, and he still does a lot of laundry at his house. He has twin boys, so the laundry is never ending. He also cooks and cleans. In our empty nest, our division of labor usually has me doing the laundry, my husband doing the vacuuming, and both of us sharing the cooking. This is not hard and fast, however, either of us will do a job that needs doing.

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7/26/11 8:47 A

I am the mother of 4 sons (ages 13-23) and I can honestly tell you I do not remember the last time I washed any of their laundry. I taught all my boys how to do laundry, clean bathroom, wash dishes, and anything to do with keepin house at a young age because I knew I wasn't going to be their maids. I make sure there is laundry detergent and fabric softner and if they want to walk around in clean clothes they WILL wash their clothes. Boys need to be able to take care of themselves just like girls and I figure I best domesticate these boys because HOPEFULLY they leave my home to get in a home of their own and will need to take care of themselves because staying with mommy until the cows come home is NOT an option!!

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7/26/11 8:39 A

treat children equally regardless of gender.

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7/26/11 8:36 A

I say equal chores for both sexes

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7/26/11 8:22 A

My boys know how to do their laundry and they do a great job at it. Plus, we have a system of baskets in laundry area for lights, darks and other.

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7/26/11 8:09 A

Well, as the mother of a boy I can tell you that my son has been involved in doing his own laundry since he was about 4! At that young age, he was my "helper" - sorting clothes, matching socks, carrying folded laundry, etc. As he got older I taught him how to fold clothes properly and how to load the washing machine (putting the clothes in only - I did the soap and 'button pushing'). Now that he is almost a teenager he is responsible for the entire kit-n-kaboodle: load & start the washer, transfer to the dryer, fold and put away when done.
Incidentally, the reason why I taught him to do laundry was because my mother never taught me (a girl!) - I had to learn how when I moved out after graduation!! I want my son to be knowledgeable and self-sufficient; I would do the same for any child of mine, boy or girl.

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7/26/11 3:16 A

I'm sure it varies home to home but I do think mother's would be doing their children a big favor to teach them how to use ALL the appliances and machines in a home.

My father sold washers and dryers for a living and believe me all five of my brothers knew how to do their own laundry. My brothers and I also took turns doing the dishes every night.

I didn't have to mow lawns but my dad still made me learn how to start a mower and also how to swing a hammer and use a circular saw, etc. .... because everyone should know how.

Kids are single now longer than ever. They need to know how to run a household and clean up after themselves. It's just common sense.

I remember a poster from my chemistry class the teacher put up on the front wall. It said, "your mother's not enrolled in this class so clean up your own mess!"

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7/26/11 1:48 A

I wonder why do most mothers expect their daughters to do their own laundry but not their sons. To me, it makes no sense because sons are just as capable of doing their own laundry as daughters. Just because he's born with a penis doesn't make him incapable, after all, he has 4 limbs just as the same as his sister!