I have been in the same spot you are in so many times, mad at myself, discouraged. Feeling like my failures were too large for me to over come. After getting mad I began to look at my good points. The fact that you lost weight and the fact that you have returned to healthy living habits are all positives. Throw your miss steps behind you and focus forward. We learn so much about ourselves because of our mistakes, use them to make you stronger. You have been able to see your Triggers for non healthy habits and now have an idea of what to avoid.
You have come back to SparkPeople for the support and we are all here for each other.
With me the first thing I did was look at myself in the mirror and see that I am a person who deserves to live a healthier life and that I am my own leader of this journey, but that I needed company, others to talk to on this trip so I came SparkPeople.
You sound like you have some great plans for getting back on Track, hiking, rollerblading and your 4 year old son.
Congratulations on you re-committing.
I wish you the very best and hope you will continue to post so we can applaud you along the way. Give yourself a big Hug.