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Love, Accept Yourself vs. Improve, Change Yourself

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Author: Message: Sort First Post on Top

Posts: 893
3/24/13 5:44 P

Welcome to SparkPeople emoticon

Posts: 4,403
3/24/13 4:16 P

I don't think love and acceptance necessarily go hand in hand.I can love myself without accepting the shape that I have allowed myself to get into.

BECAUSE I love myself, I am taking steps to improve the body that I have. I am healthier, and more fit BECAUSE I have accepted that this is the body that God gave me and if He loves it, I must, too.

I suspect that I will never fully accept my body as it is and will probably always strive to change it into something better. That does not mean I am not loving myself.

We love our children. Does that mean that we accept everything they do? Does that mean that we do not strive to make them better people?

Posts: 66
3/24/13 2:48 P

Iím 57 years old, and Iím a member of SparkPeople because Iíve pursued both of the goals below, and I havenít fully achieved either of them. I want to love myself and have a happy life, whether Iím thin or fat. Iím overweight and out of shape. Iíd rather be thin and physically fit. I donít take the actions and donít make the choices to achieve either of these two goals.

Two worthwhile goals can sometimes work together, but the same two worthwhile goals can sometimes oppose each other. How can we make these two goals work with each other rather than against each other?

Goal 1: Love and Accept Yourself Today

Goal 2: Improve and Change Yourself Today

You can, and should, love and accept yourself today, exactly the way you are today. Youíre great the way you are. Youíre loveable the way you are. Youíre just as good, no better and no worse, than any other person. You have a right to be here, and you deserve a happy life today.

On the inside, you can feel happy today, you donít need to wait. You can spend time today with people who make you happy today. You can do activities today that make you happy today.

On the outside, you can look great today. You can fix your hair, do your makeup, and wear nice clothes in whatever size fits you today. Stacy and Clinton say ďDress the body you haveĒ.

Hereís the conundrum: if you choose to love and accept yourself today, then why do you need or want to improve or change?

Itís not a crime to be fat, itís not a sin to be fat. Being fat does not make you a lesser person, does not make you un-loveable.

Why canít you just live a happy life as an overweight person? If you love food and love eating, why do you need to stop enjoying something that you love? Why canít you continue to do activities you love such as watching television and meeting friends at restaurants instead of forcing yourself to do activities you find unpleasant such as exercising and limiting what you eat?

Everyone says ďNever stop tryingĒ. ďDonít be a quitterĒ. But those of us who havenít achieved their goal of weight loss and/or physical fitness donít deserve to live our whole lives feeling like a failure.

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