I’m 57 years old, and I’m a member of SparkPeople because I’ve pursued both of the goals below, and I haven’t fully achieved either of them. I want to love myself and have a happy life, whether I’m thin or fat. I’m overweight and out of shape. I’d rather be thin and physically fit. I don’t take the actions and don’t make the choices to achieve either of these two goals.
Two worthwhile goals can sometimes work together, but the same two worthwhile goals can sometimes oppose each other. How can we make these two goals work with each other rather than against each other?
Goal 1: Love and Accept Yourself Today
Goal 2: Improve and Change Yourself Today
You can, and should, love and accept yourself today, exactly the way you are today. You’re great the way you are. You’re loveable the way you are. You’re just as good, no better and no worse, than any other person. You have a right to be here, and you deserve a happy life today.
On the inside, you can feel happy today, you don’t need to wait. You can spend time today with people who make you happy today. You can do activities today that make you happy today.
On the outside, you can look great today. You can fix your hair, do your makeup, and wear nice clothes in whatever size fits you today. Stacy and Clinton say “Dress the body you have”.
Here’s the conundrum: if you choose to love and accept yourself today, then why do you need or want to improve or change?
It’s not a crime to be fat, it’s not a sin to be fat. Being fat does not make you a lesser person, does not make you un-loveable.
Why can’t you just live a happy life as an overweight person? If you love food and love eating, why do you need to stop enjoying something that you love? Why can’t you continue to do activities you love such as watching television and meeting friends at restaurants instead of forcing yourself to do activities you find unpleasant such as exercising and limiting what you eat?
Everyone says “Never stop trying”. “Don’t be a quitter”. But those of us who haven’t achieved their goal of weight loss and/or physical fitness don’t deserve to live our whole lives feeling like a failure.
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