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2/3/12 1:17 P

Thank you all so very much. Your responses mean so, so very much to me, they really helped me get over the funk i was in.
Cowgrrrl, i did end up having some chips, but i didn't finish the plate, and i threw out the rest of bag. I'm going to go to the kitchen as soon as i'm done typing this and throw out the rest of the tempting food. It's just past 11 and i haven't eaten yet. I was sort of afraid to go into the kitchen, afraid to start eating because i was afraid of making a bad choice today. Today is a new day and a new start for me. I think what's most frustrating is the time it's taking me to adapt to this change. It's already been a month, and i had expected to be further along than i am now. I have made changes, big changes and i'm proud of them, but there are still so many things to change, so much to adapt to. I know i can't change a lifetime of bad habits with food in 4 weeks, i just have to keep reminding myself of it.
So, my goals for the rest of the week: 8 glasses of water a day, 10 minutes of exercise a day, and stick to my eating plan. I will be able to do it
Thank you all for giving me the support and help i needed!

ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (194,549)
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Posts: 26,851
2/3/12 10:22 A


You can't look at weight loss or good health with an all or nothing mentality. Anything healthy you do for yourself IS a step in the right direction even if you think you've messed up the day because you ate too much at one meal. One meal, one bad day or even one less than perfect week do not make or break a person's healthy lifestyle !

Don't look at this as a diet. Diets don't work. This has to be a lifestyle change and change takes time. That's why you start with some simple things you can change. Don't try to do everything at once or you will end up frustrated. If you're not used to eating 6-9 servings of fresh fruit and veggies each and every day, then set a goal to eat 2-3 servings each day for one week. If you're not used to drinking 8 glasses of water, then set a goal to drink 2-4 glasses of water each day for one week. If you're not used to exercising for 60 minutes a day, then set a goal to walk 30 minutes each day for one week.

Once you've achieved those goals, you set new goals. You give yourself credit for the positive things you do for yourself and you don't beat yourself up over something you think is negative. Will you over eat ? YES ! We all did and still do ! Does this mean you'll derail your efforts at weight loss ? NO NO NO !!!

Why not ? The fact is if you were to eat right five out of seven days this week, you'd still be doing better than the average American. Once again, good health is not all or nothing. Do you know that if someone who smokes stops smoking, their bodies start to repair themselves within a few hours of stopping ? So, if stopping smoking can cause our bodies to start to heal itself, image what taking a walk or drinking our water can do for our bodies too.

Spark People has never been about deprivation. It's all about moderation and portion control. You don't have to deprive yourself to be healthy. Yes, even a cheeseburger, donut, cookie, brownie, beer, etc... CAN all be a part of a healthy lifestyle as long as you are mindful of the portion.

So, no more beatings, the beatings aren't productive. How about setting some simple goals for the week ? That's much more productive.

NONA-UK Posts: 245
2/3/12 6:03 A


I have a tendency to do exactly the same thing. If I lose weight the first thing I want to do is go treat myself to some KFC or chocolate as a 'reward' or a 'treat' and I feel I deserve it and somehow it'll get cancelled out because I've already lost some weight. I'm so happy that I've lost 6lb overall that I've been sitting here all morning thinking about what fatty stuff I could go buy to have just for today, as a reward for doing well. But I won't go and buy it.

I don't understand why yet, but at least I recognise this is a danger time for me, so I do what I can to prevent that behaviour. It's a form of self-sabotage, to be honest. Maybe we are afraid of setting standards for ourselves in case we fail so we turn away from even trying properly. Maybe we do just deserve a treat or reward - but we need to find a less self-destructive one.

I don't feel I need to understand why just now; I need to concentrate on stopping myself hurting myself in this way. So I just don't have this stuff in the house and when I get a craving for it or feel I want to go and treat myself like this - all I concentrate on is not going to that shop to buy it. I don't think about not eating it, just not going down that road to that shop. This is the tactic that got me through giving up smoking :-) It's hard to resist tempting food, but it is easier to control yourself into not walking/driving down a certain road.

I'm trying to find myself other treats instead of food ones - although I have found a chocolate treat I love and isn't too bad calorie wise, so when I really feel I have to have some, I have that. If you feel you really need something, what is the smallest, least damaging thing to get yourself?

And get rid of stuff you don't want to eat. You should have enjoyed a lovely birthday party with your daughter, enjoyed your slice of cake, then when the party was over you've finished with the cake and the rest goes in the bin. It's seems to go against the grain to throw food away but it just means you haven't adjusted to buying the right things/amount yet, and that will come. If you keep leftovers you WILL eat them after feeling tortured by them and then feel bad afterwards, so don't make life hard for yourself in the first place, just throw them away immediately.

Good luck hon, we can overcome this self-destructive behaviour.

COWGRRRL SparkPoints: (27,295)
Fitness Minutes: (6,675)
Posts: 288
2/3/12 4:59 A

Listen to yourself! "I'm pretty set on giving in tonight anyway"... Are you kidding me? That's self-defeatist talk 101!
STOP RIGHT NOW, take a breath and just pause to think about what you're saying.

You do NOT have to throw away the night.
Just about every sentence you type screams defeat and submission. You speak about hope and the desire to improve, but your last sentence says "hopefully I'll be able to stop there". That is not the language of someone that's ready to fight.

Listen to me carefully, and hear the confidence I have in you. THROW... THE CHIPS... IN THE BIN. It is NOT a waste. It is NOT too hard. It is NOT more than you can bare. Take that pack, and up-end it into the garbage. Put something extremely unappealing on it. Dog food. Kitty litter. Hell, a handful of dirt. But do it NOW.
You are doing a fantastic job and you can't derail yourself now with one evening of lowered confidence and self-esteem. Someone I know has a tattoo on her arm, and it strikes me as extremely pertinent for this moment. "This too shall pass". It might seem so hard and like it's too much work in the moment, but the second that moment is over you'll be so proud of yourself for throwing that garbage exactly where it belongs.
Believe me, I've had times where I've literally had to throw food in the bin and cover it with nasties to stop myself from 'just one taste' that always leads to at least a week of regret. I hate feeling like a terrible waster but once it's done and I realise just what I've achieved for myself, there is NO way I'd pass that up!
I hope I don't seem too rough, but there was just so much dismay and negativity in your post that I couldn't help but hear my own voice in what you said. I've said it many times before from myself, but I've been lucky in that someone has always jerked me up short and said "Just what do you THINK you're telling yourself when you speak like that?".

You're doing fantastically well and a hiccup on the road (no matter how far you've gone already) is no reason to make it into a mountain. Even if my post gets to you too late to avoid a chip binge, I hope it stops you from moving on to something else.

2/3/12 2:26 A

Tonight seems to be a toss. Tomorrow is waiting for you. You can start fresh with a good attitude and feel good about it. Since you are hungry tonight, you might want to browse through the recipes and see what looks good for tomorrow while you snack on chips :) Stay in the game.

2/3/12 1:15 A

I started the week off with great intentions and got derailed along the way. I was great the first two days of the week, then on a whim i weighed myself, discovered a two lb loss since friday and it's been downhill since then. I don't know why, maybe some confidence, maybe i felt like celebrating, maybe it didn't seem so hard anymore, but i've been straying from my nutrition plan, eating junk, but keeping within my calorie range. My daughter's birthday was yesterday, we still have half the cake in the house. Yesterday i only had a teeny tiny slice after dinner - and was well within my calorie range. Today i am already over, due to snacking and i feel like just throwing in the towel for tonight and giving myself free range to eat whatever i want and start back healthy tomorrow. I keep telling myself that the momentary pleasure i'll get by eating the bag of chips will just prolong my misery and make it harder to get to my goal, but i don't feel like fighting that battle with myself tonight.

I'm pretty set on giving in tonight anyway, i just want hope that i'll be okay tomorrow and be able to continue on. I see so many people who just decide that they will give up junk, exercise and eat right and stick to it without faltering at all, and i feel envious. I'm not a consistent person, i have very little drive or dedication and i give in to temptation very easily. I'm just feeling so hopeless tonight, like it'll never happen, i'll never lose the weight, i'll never get healthy, i'll never reach my goals and succeed. I know i need to change my attitude stop being negative and take it one day at a time. I think what i want is reassurance that i'll get over this, be able to get back on the wagon and make it to the end. Maybe i just need to vent, i don't know. I'm starting off with a glass of water, and i'll pour a small portion of the chips onto a plate and hopefully i'll be able to stop there.

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