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CMCOLE Posts: 2,667
8/27/13 9:33 A

I definitely like the reply about learning to fend for yourself and your future spouse - that way you can contribute to the overall health of everyone who's eating the meal, too.

MISSRUTH Posts: 3,670
8/27/13 9:11 A

You've already gotten some really good suggestions.

Can you approach it with.... I'm getting married and need to learn how to cook some stuff so DH and I don't starve. Search out a few recipes to try, and ask if they'll purchase the ingredients for those. If you looked for healthy ways to cook the sorts of things they already buy (chicken breasts for example)... it wouldn't cost them anything extra and they might get a kick out of being the guinea pigs for your cooking adventures. It would be extra helpful if you could say stuff (in all honesty) like, my future DH isn't used to a lot of fried foods, or his mother never used a lot of butter on stuff so he doesn't like that so well.

If it was me, I'd make sure whatever recipe I tried made a bucket of stuff, so there'd be some leftovers. Soups, crockpot salsa chicken, maybe a chili with not so much meat but a bunch of beans and other vegetables. That way if your folks don't like it, you could eat it for a few days in a row so as not to "waste their hard earned money"-- while they eat their fried stuff.

I wouldn't stress the "healthy" so much-- because they might see that as a criticism of their way of life. So maybe, wanting to lose a few pounds and look fabulous on your wedding day. "I want you to be proud of me and I want to look like a princess!" And besides, it would be better to be at a healthy weight and solidly maintaining that, before getting pregnant. There are very few moms or grandmas who do not get all misty eyed just at the thought of future grand/ great grandchildren. So no I wouldn't hesitate to play the future children card either.

NIRERIN Posts: 11,984
8/27/13 8:17 A

have you tried flattery? there are probably one or two things that aren't as deep fried and butter slathered as the rest. so when those are served, compliment them all over the place and eat larger portions. or even request grandma's minestrone [or whatever it is] to try and get those better items in the rotation.
and when you compliment them/bring this up, don't mention healthy. most people think they eat pretty healthily and other people [you] pointing out that someone's food doesn't meet their definition typically goes over like a lead balloon. particularly when those people are paying for your groceries.
keep your eyes on what they buy you for breakfast and lunch as well as on the sales flyers for their store of choice. if they buy you lots of little yogurts and you see that greek yogurt is on sale for 3.50, you could mention that if they bought you the big greek yogurt instead of the tiny yogurts they would save 50 cents this week. or perhaps you could ask for peanut butter instead of doritos. or whatever it happens to be.

CHEETARA79 SparkPoints: (76,821)
Fitness Minutes: (56,299)
Posts: 3,507
8/26/13 4:14 P

If you really can't cook for yourself or shop for healthy stuff then eat what they cook but keep your portions small.

LEC358 SparkPoints: (9,659)
Fitness Minutes: (6,555)
Posts: 2,250
8/26/13 3:46 P

What about offering to cook dinner a couple of times a week and then preparing healthy foods that you think they would enjoy?

LOVE4KITTIES Posts: 1,925
8/26/13 3:28 P

Are they making all the meals (breakfast, lunch and dinner) or just dinner?

What foods are actually in the house?

Have you tried telling them you need to lose X number of pounds? Maybe give them a reason why you need to lose weight (feet hurt, ankles hurt, knees hurt or whatever, especially if the doctor agrees with you about losing weight). I like Dietitian Becky's advice about taking your portion and doing things like grilling instead of frying. Maybe tell them you LOVE their food, but you've got to lose some weight so you're going to need to cook your portion separately for a while to save some calories (and then do it until you move out...they'll get used to you doing it after a while)...

Edited by: LOVE4KITTIES at: 8/26/2013 (15:33)
MICHELLEXXXX SparkPoints: (7,160)
Fitness Minutes: (5,730)
Posts: 2,121
8/26/13 3:23 P

What did she prepare for the last 3 nights?

DIETITIANBECKY Posts: 26,658
8/26/13 3:19 P

Can you take the food items purchased and prepare your own portion using healthier cooking techniques.
For example, if chicken was purchased for fried chicken---can you reserve one piece and bake or grill it?

If broccoli is cooked with a creamy cheese sauce---can you reserve one portion and steam it in the microwave?

I am sure you can afford a few bags of frozen veggies, canned fruit, and a little fresh produce.

Just sharing some ideas to help--
Becky
SP Registered Dietitian Nutritionist

VA_GIRL_92 SparkPoints: (1,057)
Fitness Minutes: (195)
Posts: 2
8/26/13 2:36 P

I have recently moved back in with my parents due to financial reasons until my wedding in May 2014. This is great, other than the fact that I'm trying to lose weight. My mother and grandmother cook every meal and they are FAR from healthy cooks. Everything is deep fried or loaded with butter and salt. I am unable to shop for myself due to the tight money situation, and my parents have told me that as long as they are paying for the groceries, they will be deciding what to buy. There are almost no healthy options in the house and it's thought of as rude to refuse to eat food someone has spent hours on preparing. How can I still eat healthy while not insulting those cooking??

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