im always watching some kind of baby show , reading baby stuff, and lately thinking what it would be like to have one or wht i would look like pregnant.
sometimes i wonder if its my clock ticking ... tick , tick , tick.
Edited by: JDMAKEIT2HOT at: 12/17/2011 (21:01)
Fitness Minutes: (74)
5 12/13/11 1:36 P
You deal with it by letting God/nature/karma/fate (whatever your life outlook prefers) take the lead. I sometimes have it, sometimes don't. I've tried to talk to my hubby about it and his only response has been "if it happens, it happens." Sometimes this frustrates me. In the end, though, that's the way it works best for most. As someone else said, you can plan until the cows come home and it will never seem like the right time. You can always have more money, more time, bigger house, fewer stresses...its a never ending cycle. If you're both mentally and emotionally prepared (as you can be as new parents not knowing what to truly expect), the rest typically always works out. You find ways. Its what you do as parents.
I guess the shorter answer is to stop battling your logic. The birth/baby process is illogical because its unique to a woman and brings forth a plethora of emotions, trials, tribulations, and joys that you just cannot reproduce in any other life situation.
My extra two cents, just knowing you want to try to plan speaks volumes for your readiness as a parent.
i got the fever...7 years after i had my daughter i got the fever and i got it bad. so i had another baby. a boy! he is now 6 months old and guess what??? my fever is still there. i want another. its never the right time. we don't have much money. i am starting a new career and don't "have time"....im exhausted....my husband works on off-shore oil rigs for weeks and months at a time....but darn it! i want another one!! and so does my husband so i will have one again soon. its never the right time. i am kind of old and haven't lost my pregnancy fat yet. you know, screw it! i love being a mom. nothing like it. i love love love it. go ahead!! give in!
Fitness Minutes: (1,022)
16 12/9/11 9:16 A
I dealt with baby fever by having another baby lol....
After 3 kids, I am completely immune to baby fever!
Great response Dennis. Good luck MRSWILKI, and I think your future children will have wonderful parents!
Fitness Minutes: (6,295)
136 12/8/11 2:08 P
Thank you so much everyone you've all given me a great perspective and it's good to know I'm not alone.
As for the other wives with babies, right now since our husbands are all gone we've kind of split up and are all in different parts of the country, but when the men come back we will all be back in the same city and I have intentions of helping them all out as much as I can (and as they are comfortable with or want) and I know that will help me out, and them. :)
Fitness Minutes: (587)
3 12/8/11 1:28 P
My husband and I have a 14 month old baby girl and a 5 year old little girl who thinks she's 16. It seems like I got "baby fever" when my oldest was potty trained and more independent. I didn't have to change her diaper or rock her anymore. I was sad, and wanted another child, so we had another baby. She is now 14 months old and already becoming independent. She won't let me rock her anymore, not to mention she is a Daddy's Girl. It makes me feel like i'm not needed sometimes as a nurturer. I think women just have phases. We had problems with our oldest girl and about lost our second child during my pregnancies. We both would like to have another one and when I get "baby fever," I think about possibly losing the baby. I don't know how I would ever cope with that, so my husband is getting a vasectomy.
Fitness Minutes: (185)
96 12/8/11 11:27 A
Dennis you sound like an amazing man with an incredible amount of wisdom. He stated it perfectly your desire for children is extremely normal. Your decision to wait while you get your life prepared is also a good thing. The more prepared you are the more you can just enjoy your child. You have time. Besides if you wait until your husband is home for good then he will be there with you for all those special moments he would miss if he was deployed. I think you are right in wanting for couple time before you introduce a baby into the mix.
Don't think yourself odd for your feelings they are completely natural.
BTW-- Speaking as a mom of a 3 yr. old -- all those mommies you know would LOVE a few hours to themselves... go babysit and get a baby fix while you let one of your friends go have a manicure or catch a movie.
A friend just have a baby go visit and help with the baby, your friend can use the company and help... I sure could have when I was home on maternity leave.
Fitness Minutes: (105,108)
13,244 12/8/11 8:57 A
Can't say I ever had baby fever...and I already have a kid. I am 100% sure that 1 kid is all I'll ever want. When my husband jokes about having a second kid, I remind him of our finances (poor), the state of our house (a total mess) and actual house room (1 tiny bathroom, no more bedrooms).
I have an IUD so he cannot tamper with my BC - not that he would, but just in case.
Fitness Minutes: (6,295)
136 12/7/11 11:25 P
Dennis- Thank you for your response, it is good to hear from a man and also from someone with much more wisdom and experience than myself :) You make me feel more normal and less like an emotional mess haha.
It is a little difficult I suppose when our natural instincts have to compete with our modern values and responsibilities.
I never thought of it as being a sign that my marriage is secure, thank you for that revelation. For now I will just be happy with that and keep building my marriage and myself stronger so when the time comes my husband and I will be even better equipt to become parents.
I know you threw this one out to the ladies but I figured I had some perspective on this too. My wife still gets that "look in her eye" even though our baby days are over now. These days we are collecting grandchildren. For 16 years we had the luxury to follow her desire for more children and have 10. Like I said ... it never went away. To this day she is happiest when holding a baby.
So in my opinion what you are experiencing is a perfectly natural instinct that has kept the species going for 10s of thousands of years. Of course knowing its bred into all of us over eons does not change the very real emotional reaction you get when around children and women who are expecting. It really is a healthy sign that you feel secure enough in your self and your relationship to want to start a family of your own.
When the time is right you will get your turn. I thank you, both for your husband's service to this country and your sacrifice in putting that dream off a bit while he does.
Fitness Minutes: (6,295)
136 12/7/11 7:59 P
Some of you may laugh at me, and maybe some will understand what I mean, but every few months it seems my hormones rage and I get what my husband and I call "baby fever". He can always tell when I've got it, apparently I get a certain look in my eye when I see a child and he just looks at me and says "No" hah. Please don't judge my husband too harshly, logically we are not ready for a baby right now. In fact at the moment he is deployed so it's not even a possibility, but nevertheless my body is screaming at me to get pregnant asap.
Logically I know that a baby now or in the near future would be too stressful, I am almost done with University and he is considering going to school and making a career change in the next couple years (getting out of the Army and into a civilian job which will initially be a financial burden). Also we want more time together as a couple since we've only been married a year and 3 months, and he's been deployed for the past 7 months of that time. As I'm typing all of this I realize that I know all of the rational reasons and let me make it clear that I am NOT going to try and get pregnant before the time is right for us.
However, how do you deal with the emotions and weird hormones that are desperately battling with your logic?? Am I the only young woman who deals with this?
I should mention that one of my Army-wife friends had a baby at the beginning of last summer, and another of my Army-wife friends is pregnant and due in February, and another just had her husband come home from Iraq one week before their son was born. I'm seriously surrounded by, and even dreaming of babies!! Eeeekk!!!
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