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TOPIC:  

Lack of Family Support



 
 
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GREGINPROGRESS
Posts: 242
3/24/13 12:21 P

I think this is a normal problem. Its been my biggest challenge, since it makes it hard for me to stay motivated. I mean, it's nice to get supportive messages from SparkPeople members, but nothing warms the heart and puts a fire in your belly like a close family member telling you they're proud of what you're doing and to keep it up. But if nutrition and fitness are not important to them those words might never come, and that does hurt.

But the best source of motivation comes from within, because you're the only person who will always be there for you at times when no one else is. The SparkCoach program has helped me find ways of maintaining self motivation. I've started mentally saying to myself, "you can do this" whenever I feel doubts starting to creep into my head, and it's been helping me a lot.

As for motivating your family, is there any short, fun activity that involves getting up and moving that you could make a regular thing? Maybe there's something you've seen them do and enjoy before that you could ask them to do every day?



SLIMMERKIWI
SparkPoints: (122,646)
Fitness Minutes: (32,500)
Posts: 21,111
3/23/13 5:36 P

"We can lead a horse to water, but can't make it drink!" The same applies to other people. They are free to make these choices for themselves. I know that it hurts you to see this happen with them, but they must be responsible for their own actions - not you.

Perhaps they may agree to a suggestion from you that YOU cook their meals once or twice a week, and YOU make them healthy ones AND enjoyable. Perhaps in time they may come on board, but if they don't, at least you know that they are getting a couple healthy ones in a week.

As far as exercise is concerned, that again is totally up to them. I understand that you want support, but often we don't get it from family - we have to focus on US and OUR needs! Is there a walking group around you that you can join? If not, have you thought about putting a notice on a couple local notice boards stating a day of the week and time (that suits you best) for others to join in a walk. Make sure that you start it as 'novice walkers' or similar so that it encourages others to begin their journey, rather than be put off as 'too hard'

Kris



LILLIPUTIANNA
Posts: 1,038
3/23/13 5:12 P

This is absolutely a normal problem. Want to know how many of my family members support my journey? Zero. Not a single one of them. In fact, they actively oppose it.

You are going to graduate college soon. This is when you have to take control of your own life. Having a supportive family is wonderful, if you're lucky enough to have one, but let's face it, most people don't. Get out there and show everyone that you are an adult and that you can achieve your goals using your own strength.

Edited by: LILLIPUTIANNA at: 3/23/2013 (17:13)


JGIRL5799
Posts: 538
3/23/13 4:53 P

It is hard when you want to change but others won't espcially your family.. sometimes they just sit in the backgrounds watching you and when they see the positive impact your making with your life then they will make changes too because they won't wanna be left behind.... this is when you have to step out of your comfort zone and seek out new groups/friends.. I would suggest things like this.. It was awesome for when I was single and tired of doing things on my own.. But There are tons of meet me groups that meet up and have the same hobbies and interests.. there are active groups that want to get outside and do things to keep active and healthy.

Separate yourself from them and do your own thing but with new people, meet new people,
Use us (sparks people) to help keep yourself motivated and your journey going.. You can do this.. it is a bit disappointing knowing others won't support you, but you have such a huge support in other areas and in groups.

As for the family, create active family gatherings like in nature or lake picnics/walks.. if they belong to the church a lot of them have weekend or week getaways and small vacations that are active as well and worth the money... Small steps are usually the easiest.. Create pool parties or beach/lake swims. Having activities they can participate and not knowing its healthy is a great step... bowling competitions.

good luck!!!

Edited by: JGIRL5799 at: 3/23/2013 (16:59)


LOTUS737
Posts: 2,004
3/23/13 4:45 P

Unfortunately you can't make others get on board- it might be helpful to sit down with your family and explain your goals and why getting healthier is important to you. Ask them if they want to join you- but you can't force them. Use the teams here or find a local group to support you!



KIMKOMP13
SparkPoints: (755)
Fitness Minutes: (654)
Posts: 22
3/23/13 4:17 P

As a soon-to-graduate college student, I'm really trying hard to turn a new leaf; I really wanted my family to help me - go on walks, help me cook/eat healthier, etc. but my parents are being completely unsupportive. My mom is a very stressed person, and my dad (who is more than a little overweight) eats a lot at night and doesn't sleep -- I thought maybe we could make this change together and support one another, but they won't even listen!

Is this a normal problem? Does anyone have ideas on how to get your family more involved?



 
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