Cara you have just said what I have felt for a very long time. I have tried and tried to lose weight and have not succeeded. I have only myself to blame. I need to lose 170 pounds. I have all the workout equipment and videos that I need and I could open a gym with all that I have accumulated over the years, but, of course their only job is to collect dust. That is going to change. I also do not, for me, believe in gastric bypass or other surgeries to remove the fat. It is only a surgery it is not changing the mind and for me this is a mind game of control. So I am going to take the challenge of being in control of me instead of the voice in the back of my head saying, go ahead and try but you are going to fail just like you have in the past. . It is time to stop the madness and get real about what this is doing to my body. I am 51 years old and I want to be able to do whatever I want and wear whatever I want without the voice in the back of my head saying now can you fit in that chair, can you fit in those clothes. I have to stop this madness, sabotaging my efforts before I start. Sorry for rambling, anyway, I really like the idea of small goals and I like that I have a place to go to to see them in front of me a place to go to get ideas. It is somehow motivating me to do my best. I have been a member of SparksPeople for years but have not been successful. Now with Spark Coach I am hoping that will change. Good luck to you. If we stay focused on the small goals I believe we can achieve our long term goals. Jackie
2/10/13 7:58 P
Great job Cara. You will never regret any steps you take to be healthier. SparkCoach is a great program. We are here to help you every step of the way. Keep posting and start a blog. If you have any questions, let us help.
Fitness Minutes: (14,391)
9,698 2/10/13 6:14 P
Well done. You have taken the first steps on your road to being healthy. Remember that this is not an all or nothing journey. You can take baby steps to get there. In fact, making small, attainable goals is a great way to start developing a healthy lifestyle!
I was almost going to get a gastrectomy to reach my goal of getting healthy. There is nothing wrong with that, but I decided that it's not for me until I actually do every single thing I can do to lose this on my own. I will NOT go into surgery before I know that it is my last resort!
So...here I am...
I feel for the last ten years or so I have not cared for myself at all. My self esteem has been so low that I didn't care how fat I got, didn't care how I felt, didn't care how I looked. I didn't care about my life at all, much. Now that I am climbing out of that hole I fell into, and learning to manage my social anxiety, working at a new job in nursing, and trying to map out who I want to become, I am starting to believe in myself again.
I want to lose 120 pounds, folks...I want to lose it and keep it off without having to remove 80% of my stomach to manage it. If in the end I feel that is necessary, then so be it and I will do what I need to do to get healthy and be here to see my grandchildren. But there is no way I can go under the knife without pulling out all the stops to see if I can make this happen without taking that step. Can I? I'm not sure. But I have to know I tried my best, and I know I haven't.
So that's me tonight...checking in. I've decided to get started with Spark Coach and really work at this. I will need all sorts of support and motivation. I am just going to keep saying to myself...I believe....I believe....I believe....
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