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KRKNOCKS SparkPoints: (133,607)
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Posts: 2,364
6/28/14 9:12 A


JAMINURSE Posts: 3,758
6/27/14 5:02 P

KJ changed the original post. It originally asked about three hypothetical scenarios and a world where you can say anything you want (give unsolicited advice).

KJ why did you delete it?

KKKAREN Posts: 12,749
6/27/14 4:20 P

If people would read the original post they would know this thread is not about cholesterol!!!!!!

ETHELMERZ SparkPoints: (204,920)
Fitness Minutes: (183,530)
Posts: 14,881
6/27/14 4:05 P

not according to the blood test I had over 2 weeks ago, no.

ERICREH Posts: 3,971
6/27/14 12:03 P

Slightly elevated

KKLENNERT809 Posts: 10,742
6/27/14 11:48 A

Yes, in my case it's hereditary

ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (185,819)
Fitness Minutes: (274,618)
Posts: 26,127
6/27/14 11:00 A

Well, that's one way to hijack a thread.


BTW, my doctor will tell you my cholesterol couldn't be better.

6/27/14 10:57 A

No! emoticon

HAPPYCPA1965 SparkPoints: (294,957)
Fitness Minutes: (240,143)
Posts: 13,360
6/27/14 10:20 A

No, thanks to Simvastatin.

THROOPER62 Posts: 29,196
6/27/14 5:42 A


MARKATSPARK Posts: 5,869
6/27/14 5:23 A


STEELER71 Posts: 8,048
6/27/14 5:13 A

No. Last blood test it was 152

GRANDMAFRANNY SparkPoints: (303,429)
Fitness Minutes: (190,234)
Posts: 6,616
6/27/14 2:54 A


JEFFGIRL Posts: 10,450
6/27/14 1:42 A

Slightly elevated

JANIEWWJD SparkPoints: (475,045)
Fitness Minutes: (314,327)
Posts: 12,687
6/27/14 12:05 A

Online Now  • ))
No, thank the Lord.

6/26/14 8:55 P

Sorry, I was just venting....

Edited by: KJFITNESSDUDE at: 6/27/2014 (04:23)
KKKAREN Posts: 12,749
6/26/14 6:53 P

Too funny KJ. I thought there was something wrong with my browser or something!

SHERYLDS Posts: 17,083
6/26/14 6:37 P

Hey KJ
Is this your way of changing the topic.... emoticon

UMBILICAL Posts: 12,786
6/26/14 6:28 P


SHERYLDS Posts: 17,083
6/26/14 6:21 P

A person needs to consider the message they send out by the way they dress. If a person wants to dress sexy, they should expect to get more attention.....but there is no guarantee that the extra attention comes from the type of people they were hoping for. It is naïve to think only 'nice guys' are going to be looking....there are lot's of creeps out there.

It's like putting up a bird feeder and then getting annoyed when the squirrels try to cash in on the free food. {OMG.. I have been watching too many nature shows}

Edited by: SHERYLDS at: 6/26/2014 (18:21)
BIBLIOTEKARZ SparkPoints: (58,243)
Fitness Minutes: (8,271)
Posts: 2,323
6/26/14 3:58 P

I just get fired up when I hear people suggesting that a woman's dress is the cause of sexual assault. This is a pervasive thought pattern that feeds into a concept that rape has mutual fault between the rapist and the victim. Eighty year old women are raped, children are raped, and I'm pretty sure they aren't "wearing sexy clothing."
We need to change the culture that says it's OK to blame a woman's clothing on unwanted attention.

SUZIEQUE77 SparkPoints: (9,260)
Fitness Minutes: (40)
Posts: 1,065
6/25/14 7:34 A

Quote from Bibliotekartz:

"Scenario #1
Yeah, so suggesting that the way she dresses will attract creepy men is akin to "she was asking for it" and perpetuates rape culture. I don't care if she walks naked down the street, it's NEVER her fault when a man thinks lascivious thoughts or sexually assaults a woman. We're people d#$##$t, not objects and this kind of thinking is what perpetuates the "we need to teach women how not to be raped, not teach men not to rape." If she feels confident in short, tight clothes that's her choice. HER BODY HER CHOICE!!!!!!:"

I agree with you that such a perpetrator is no less guilty regardless of what a woman is wearing, or if she is wearing anything. This is hard to express here without people taking it wrong. I'm not saying such a girl wants to be attacked or violated but I am saying she wants attention whether it is from creepy types or less creepy types and she knows how she dresses will make a difference. I have had money stolen before because I left my wallet out in the open. The thief is not less guilty because of this but I still believe I learned how to better protect myself. Not sure if this compares to what a woman wears because I fully agree with you that rapists are not probably influenced that much by what women wear, they are truly sickos. I am simply talking about the woman getting attention, wanted or unwanted. And quite frankly if she dresses that way, I believe she WANTS attention. That is a far cry from wanting to be attacked IMO.

BIBLIOTEKARZ SparkPoints: (58,243)
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6/25/14 6:10 A

Whoa nelly, this got me fired up.

Scenario #1
Yeah, so suggesting that the way she dresses will attract creepy men is akin to "she was asking for it" and perpetuates rape culture. I don't care if she walks naked down the street, it's NEVER her fault when a man thinks lascivious thoughts or sexually assaults a woman. We're people d#$##$t, not objects and this kind of thinking is what perpetuates the "we need to teach women how not to be raped, not teach men not to rape." If she feels confident in short, tight clothes that's her choice. HER BODY HER CHOICE!!!!!!

Scenario #2
Follow your bliss! Good luck at school! I had 3 majors before I got the one I did, which proved useless despite being a good major. Now I'm in grad school, following my dream. Everyone has a different path to walk, it's not for me to judge what makes them happy.

Scenario #3
There are lawyers working in fast food. I received resumes from PhD's applying for a part-time admin assistant position. Young people are the most underemployed group right now, regardless of degree. My DH has a computer degree and can't find jobs. It's a tough market. This kid may have once been motivated, but lost hope. I've seen it happen. When my DH was laid off, it happened to him. He still looked for work, but got more and more depressed, and played more and more video games (and did less and less chores around the house despite being there all day.) This is the new normal. Getting a degree, or several no longer ensures employment.

6/25/14 5:56 A

No darling, sorry! I feel the same as you, but have learned to button my lip!

MARKATSPARK Posts: 5,869
6/25/14 5:14 A


ELIZABETH_DARCY SparkPoints: (6,137)
Fitness Minutes: (1,625)
Posts: 75
6/25/14 3:53 A


I'd say nothing. Because in our society, it shouldn't be the young girls responsibility to dress so that men can control themselves. It should be a mans responsibility to control themselves.

#2 I'd ask what the mother wants her to do, then ask the daughter would it make her happy? Who's life is it anyway?

#3 Nothing there and then. But I would ask what this young man does to earn the $20 and if he is good to pay it back.

SUZIEQUE77 SparkPoints: (9,260)
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Posts: 1,065
6/25/14 2:08 A

In a world where it would be socially acceptable to say something to these people, I probably would not say anything to #1 because it is my view that most people absolutely dress the way they dress on purpose. If she does not want to attract "unwanted" attention then she will stop dressing that way without anybody telling her what she needs to do.

For #2, I would say to the daughter and her mother, well then be sure to pay your own bills. Don’t go into debt and then expect society to pay it back for you. When people take risks in life and “follow their hearts and dreams” they also need to be responsible if there are consequences for their choices. Maybe there is a call for making fancy baskets but you need to consider your prospects. If you are confident this will work out well, then go forward with it. (But if it was me, I’d still find the lowest cost basket-weaving program available to me!)

For #3, I’d probably give my sister a piece of my mind! I guess none of my own siblings have a situation as extreme as this but it does bug the heck out of me how they enable their kids to be irresponsible, and then keep wondering why their grown children keep using them and disrespecting them. I’m not sure it is advice because I know from experience these people would not take the advice and have probably heard it before anyway (and ignored it, or told themselves their situation is “different.”) But I would explain to them in no uncertain terms, why they keep getting used and disrespected. I would not say a word to the 29 year old nephew. He has it made. Why on earth would he listen to somebody outside who tells him to get a job?

KAMS32902 Posts: 22
6/24/14 5:37 P

I wouldn't say anything at all. Unsolicited advice is obnoxious and is probably going to be ignored. It's better to just keep your mouth shut and go about your own business.

GEVANS7 SparkPoints: (234,484)
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Posts: 2,119
6/24/14 4:45 P

Not your fault at all KJFitnessdude. This site is way too literal. One person did get it. I didn't until you came back and claimed "fail".

I just don't have the strength to be creative anymore. It has to come naturally.

#1 How much?
#2 How much is a snorkel these days?
#3 I'd just get up and leave/ real life- or not. No strength for that scenario


OMG I have gone way over my message board points for the day and yet, I'm still posting (wink)

6/24/14 3:35 P

"Not my circus. Not my monkeys"

A new life rule for me! :D

MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 16,342
6/24/14 3:29 P

I would say, just leave it be. People don't like unsolicited advice. And sometimes they don't like any advice that doesn't already mesh with what they believe.

I love the phrase, not my circus, not my monkeys. I might have to borrow that

PS. If my daughter was going to an expensive private university. I would tell her if she wanted me to pay. She should major in something useful. And she can minor in underwater basket weaving.

Edited by: MANDIETERRIER1 at: 6/24/2014 (15:33)
6/24/14 3:28 P

Hahahaha, okay!

EELPIE Posts: 2,700
6/24/14 3:23 P

ha ha's ok - go back to drawing board!

6/24/14 3:22 P

Okay, appearantly I need work on writing humorous threads....

This one was a *fail*


LOVE4KITTIES Posts: 4,689
6/24/14 11:38 A

My doctor says that my cholesterol is "disgustingly healthy."

Edited by: LOVE4KITTIES at: 6/25/2014 (11:51)
EMPRESSAMQ Posts: 5,077
6/24/14 11:20 A

Even in your new world scenario where it's socially acceptable to give unsolicited advice, I'd say nothing, say nothing, say nothing.

Giving advice just doesn't pay.

GEVANS7 SparkPoints: (234,484)
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Posts: 2,119
6/24/14 10:55 A

I presume we're talking about #3 as one and two you should say nothing: NOT your child, NOT your business, NOT your concern

#3 ............He's YOUR family, YOU'RE NEPHEW, He's in YOUR house. By all means speak your mind as your sister has her hands full and he needs to be fully ashamed of himself. I'm sure your sister has tried (hopefully) but sometimes kids need a rude awakening.

FEDGIRL4 Posts: 2,155
6/24/14 9:57 A

Scenario #1 - say nothing. If she is underage (under 18), it is the parent's job. If she is above 18, she is old enough to know better, but may not care. I used to wear stuff like that too. I thought any other female who threw a fit was jealous. I had to learn the hard way that wearing very tight stuff or "showing everything" will generally get the wrong attention.

Scenario #2 - say nothing. Underwater basket weaving may be the new hot never know. If the parent pays for this curriculum and it does not work out, hopefully the parent will learn to not help 100%.

Scenario #3 - say nothing to the boy, unless he asks you for money and then say no. Hopefully the parent will stop enabling.

KKKAREN Posts: 12,749
6/24/14 8:54 A

Interesting questions but for me I don't like to get unsolicited advice so I try not to give it. In this world or a new one!

JANIEWWJD SparkPoints: (475,045)
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6/23/14 10:41 P

Online Now  • ))
Sometimes it's not even worth it getting ourselves all stressed out.

BANKER-CHUCK Posts: 6,290
6/23/14 10:39 P

It is hard not to give advice. But remember who the advice is being given and determine if they will actually put it to use....correctly. If they fail, weather it is their fault or not they will blame you for their failure.

LADYCJM SparkPoints: (57,456)
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Posts: 2,545
6/23/14 9:38 P

Whoopie, FUN TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#1. 50 ish me to sweet young thing : Honey, you look great! I wore that same outfit last night to the geriatric bowling league and picked up two 70 year old dirty ole men! So much fun, they kept trying to pinch my bottom but the girdle stopped them in their tracks. Hey, want to borrow my girdle??? You could go a size smaller then and attract 40 year olds instead of fifty year olds. .....

#2 Oh, so your really going to get your MRS right? LOL, no one would seriously expect to make a living as an Underwater Basket Weaver. And Mom, you and dad must be expecting her to marry a rich one from that fancy college right? Expecting a good return on your investment right??????

#3 Guess what???I just used all of my considerable contacts and called in all my favors and got you a job that you are well qualified for! Teaching underwater basket weaving at the college!

Edited by: LADYCJM at: 6/23/2014 (21:39)
LOUNMOUN Posts: 1,334
6/23/14 6:21 P

#1- Why would I tell a stranger walking by how to dress? I don't care about them. If it was my friend or family member in your new world then I would start by telling them something positive like about their color choices and then maybe talk about how going up a size could be more flattering and classy in most situations than wearing something that just looks too tight.

#2 In your new world, I'd tell my friend to stop whining about her daughter's choices to someone who is not involved. That is pretty rude of her. To the daughter, I'd say that underwater basket weaving seems pretty tough. I don't know where it will take her in life but I applaud her seeking knowledge and wish her the best. None of my business what my friend's daughter chooses for her major.

#3 In this new world I'd ask my sister if she is an idiot. Is she happy with her son living there and not working full time or paying for these loans? If she isn't happy with the situation, then I'd tell her she needs to be firm and work things out with her son. I'd encourage her to have him contribute around the house by doing chores or errands if not actual rent- or he should move out immediately. I'd tell her she should not just hand him money ever again. She isn't helping him. Really I'd talk to the parent who is supporting this situation. She is the biggest problem in this scenario.

MILLIE5522 SparkPoints: (44,209)
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Posts: 1,399
6/23/14 5:13 P

Hey KJ is this a crafty way to get people to tell you what to say to these 3 people who you know? LOL

EELPIE Posts: 2,700
6/23/14 4:35 P

@ Alice brills!!! "Not my circus. Not my monkeys"

6/23/14 4:31 P

I've learned to think, "Not my circus. Not my monkeys" about these kinds of situations. Unless it is my own kid who is actually putting himself in harm's way, we need to let people make bad choices.

EELPIE Posts: 2,700
6/23/14 3:11 P

Scenario #1:Nothing unless she was my daughter.

Scenario #2: Nothing at all.

Scenario #3: Depends. If I were close to my sister, and knew she could take criticism I'd say something after nephew leaves (with money). OR If me and nephew were extremely tight, I'd maybe say something to him (perhaps jokingly "walmart is hiring") again, depending on our relationship, is he thin skinned, etc.

PBAILEY06 SparkPoints: (37,530)
Fitness Minutes: (37,448)
Posts: 629
6/23/14 2:46 P

I agree, don't say it.

Personally, I hate unsolicited advice. If I want advice, I'll ask for it.

The exception is when the other person brings it up. So in #1, if you knew this girl and she says, what do you think of this outfit? Or in #2 the friend asks what you think of a career in underwater basket weaving, etc. . .

SHERYLDS Posts: 17,083
6/23/14 2:16 P

DON'T ....if they want your advice...they'll ask

I think the scenario that strikes me most is #3.
It's not just the fact that the son isn't growing up...but that a lot of times the parent enables that situation because it serves their needs as well. Someone who needs you, isn't likely to leave you. No empty nest.

6/23/14 6:41 A


Edited by: KJFITNESSDUDE at: 6/25/2014 (06:21)
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