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Is it spoiling them?



 
 
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MISSHEATHER77
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12/3/12 2:39 P

Thanks for the feedback. There were alot of good points.



JACOBSBELOVED
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12/1/12 4:40 P

Maybe one thing to keep in mind is: can a 6 yr old and a 4 yr old be responsible with the gaming system? Will they treat it properly? This is an expensive item and the accessories are expensive also. Most 6 yr olds and 4 yr olds I see are very rambunctious and I just don't see them treating a gaming system properly. Also, will it take the place of them going outside and getting exercise? Will they always be sitting on the couch and playing their games instead of running around?

To me, 6 yr old and 4 yr old toys are dolls, racecars, coloring books, crayons, action figures, stuffed animals, balls, and such. Things that spark imagination and daydreaming, you know? Not to mention, if you get them a game system like this for them now at such a young age, what will they ask for next? What will it be next year?

I got a gameboy when I was 9. They had been out on the market for a few years already but my parents waited until I could handle the games and the gameboy properly. If they were going to spend the money for my sister (who is one year older than me) and I to get one of these things, then they were going to make sure we were going to take care of it. I still have my gameboy and it still works, and so do all the games that I got with it. I knew how to take care of it and I can guarantee you my parents got their money's worth when they bought that for me.

I guess for me, the question isn't "Is it spoiling them?" but it's "Is it age appropriate?". I don't know what things are like at your house and I don't know how often your kids get new toys or things they ask for, so I wouldn't really know if you're spoiling them.



ZEDMAY
Posts: 41
11/28/12 4:10 P

My feeling is that your kids are pretty young for a handheld gaming system even if lots of their friends have one. Your post makes it sound like deep down you don't feel it is appropriate for them to have a toy like this, so go with what feels right to you. The "everyone else has one" argument is just their way of trying to get you to feel peer pressured to fit in with the other parents or risk being viewed as some sort of meanie mom.

As for the Santa issue, tell them that Santa doesn't always get everyone the first item on their wish list. Sometimes Santa thinks that kids need to wait until they are older before they have certain types of toys. Or be really honest and tell them that you don't think they need a toy like a DS and that you have spoken with Santa about it. Then get them to add 2 or 3 more items they hope Santa will bring them.



LACIEKAY
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11/19/12 6:33 P

I don't think it's spoiling your child. My husband was spoiled as a child.... he got EVERYTHING he wanted for christmas. anything he even mentioned he liked his family bought for him. Now me, on the other hand.. i can't recall one thing i ever got for christmas that i genuinely wanted. mostly stuff from goodwill or garage sales. i can't tell you what's right for your kids, but with my girls.. if it's a big present that they desperately want.. sure, why not. keep the magic in childhood and don't worry so much about spoiling them. it's a bit morbid.. but if something were to happen to my girls tomorrow, i can rest easy that i made them smile when i could. and plus, if santa brings it.. it doesn't make you the spoiler.. haha but if you do give in have a list of guidelines ready! like.. no DS at bedtime. no DS at the dinner table, etc.



LOUNMOUN
Posts: 1,227
11/13/12 3:53 P

If dd wants something I don't want to buy her I tell her she can save up her money to buy it. She has worked hard to save for a number of things including a game system.

If she asks for something for her birthday or Christmas and the item fits our budget I might get it. She only gets a few gifts (4 or less) so it is hardly spoiling just because she wants it. Why would I get her something she doesn't want?

When we did Santa he only brought 1 gift and filled a stocking. I wouldn't let her ask Santa for something that was against our values or that we would never consider. I don't think that is fair. I would just tell her no outright instead of getting her hopes up.

In the case of getting something because other people have the same thing maybe I would talk to them about how they aren't always going to have the same things as their friends and we aren't going to play keeping up with the Jonses. I would talk to them about if they want to give up their current game system in favor of the more portable DS and how many games they would play on that or the cost of games versus the old system. We might make a pro and con list to fully consider it together.

We have rules about video games. Another game system doesn't change that.



Edited by: LOUNMOUN at: 11/13/2012 (15:59)


GLITTERFAIRY77
Posts: 8,023
11/11/12 12:53 P

We don't do the Santa thing and I won't go into the whys, but I think that sometimes, as in a case like this, you could I guess tell them that Santa and moms and dads talk about what they feel are appropriate and inappropriate gifts for children at certain ages. If mom and dad say "No," Santa will respect their wishes and try to find things that he feels fall within the moms' and dads' standards...or something. ;)



HELLENACKERMAN
Posts: 193
11/2/12 3:43 P

Our kids always make a list of things for Santa. That way, if he brings one or two things on the list, but not everything on the list there usually isn't a problem. We have a similar problem because our mother-in-law asked if she could purchase our kids (7 and 9) their own Kindle Fires!! We told her no because at there age we did not feel they were responsible enough to own one of their own and we always try to encourage them to be outside playing!



MRSALLYP
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11/1/12 1:43 P

Personally I think telling them to "Ask Santa" is giving them a thought that Santa might get it - if "Santa" will not bring it then I wouldn't have them "Ask Santa" because they will grow resentful of Santa and then you even more so when they find out more about "Santa" because you were the one who told them to "Ask Santa". Maybe you could have them do chores to earn money for it and when they earn their money make sure that is really what they want to spend it on but if you allow the purchase set a time limit on it - I have lots of friends that allow electronics for an hour a day, just one and only for special things - sitting for a dr's appointment, long road trips, flights, etc do they allow time to extend that hour or they earn the extra time by doing chores. Come up with a way for them to earn it is not spoiling in any way and you get something out of it in the end!



CLARK971
Posts: 667
10/31/12 3:10 P

my kids are 11, and the issue now is a smart phone. i was shocked at how many 11 year olds have an iphone.

It is up to you. i think my kids got the ds when they were 7. They are 11, and rarely play with their ds or wii and more. They mainly use their ipod touch and xbox.

Since your children aren't the same age, would you get them each one or just the older one and have the younger one wait?



Edited by: CLARK971 at: 10/31/2012 (17:21)


SOCAL_LEE
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10/25/12 6:12 P

As a previous poster said, if you don't want your kids to have it, don't buy it for them -- and don't let Santa bring it either ;). The lesson they get is not "I waited patiently and got the system" but "I kept asking for it and I got it!" which translates to them moving on to the next thing they want that all their friends have ... I've found it's easier just not to get started on that buying cycle at all, if possible.



CUDA440
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10/25/12 9:58 A

My boys are 6 and 8 and do NOT have the DS system. They do play Wii which gets them to move around in the winter a bit, and they do have the leap frog explorer hand held games but at least they are doing math and letters on those.

If you don't want them to have them, then don't buy them yet. They can ASK "santa" all they want, but still doesn't mean they are going to get every thing they ask for.

Beckie



LUANN_IN_PA
Posts: 15,872
10/24/12 5:06 P

I personally did not allow my kids to have them at that age.
They played enough when visiting friends.

Giving them everything they ask for IS spoiling them...



MISSHEATHER77
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10/24/12 2:51 P

My 6 year old and 4 year old want Nintendo DS systems. Why? Because their friends have them. As parents, we are not fond of video games, they play what we have enough. They have been asking since spring. We have refused to buy them, but I have said, ask Santa. Now months later, they are still talking about asking Santa for them. So I'm not sure what Santa should do. "All my friends have them" is not the most persuasive argument to me. Part of me thinks it is spoiling them by giving them what they want, but the other part thinks if they have been this patient, it is alright. Thoughts?



 
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