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Is anyone else afraid?



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B.C.NOAZARC
Posts: 25
1/21/09 9:43 A

I'm afraid of my addiction to food. I am an obsessive-compulsive eater and it scares me that to think I may never overcome it. It leads to depression, shame, self-disrespect and disappointment, frustration, and fear. I've cried many times after I fail miserably and I become extremely frightened of myself and my weakness for food. I'm scared that I will destroy my body, this one body that used to be so healthy. I'm afraid it will destroy who I am...it already has to a point and I'm working towards facing and conquering my fear.



YHOLT01
Posts: 136
1/21/09 9:36 A

I am afraid of everything. I didn't learn to swim until I was thirty-five years old. The swim teacher was very kind and very strict. She required that I listen and do exactly what she said. I was afraid of drowning, but I really, really wanted to learn to swim. So I accepted my fear and learned to swim.


In my experience it has not been fruitful to try and push away, or 'overcome' my fear. Fear leaves on its own when you do the thing you are afraid of. I think of it in terms of being honest with myself and using positive self-talk. I tell myself things like " you are not going to die, the teacher is here to help you, when you are helping someone don't you want them to succeed, all you have to do is listen and follow the instructions", and then I do those things over, and over, and over and over again until I can do the task. I do not allow quitting as an option. Sometimes in the middle of a thing it doesn't seem worth the effort, but how many times have we ripped defeat from the jaws of victory by turning back, or quitting a task.


As an adult I have learned to swim, camp, roller skate, shoot a bow and arrow, weld, use a variety of power tools, and many other things. I am not great at any of them, but neither am I afraid to do them and have fun.


I think being afraid is part of the human condition and as my mother always says "Courage is being afraid and doing it anyway".

Edited by: YHOLT01 at: 1/21/2009 (10:07)


PICCONE
Posts: 13
1/21/09 9:29 A

When I stay in too long I get very comfortable at first and then end up depressed. You have to get out of your comfort zone and you will feel so refreshed. I go even when I don;t want to and acan't believe how much better I feel. Also staying in make my day all about trying to stay away from food.



MARYS6
Posts: 1
1/21/09 9:22 A

I also have all the same fears. they have gotten so bad I no longer leave the house for anything not even the mail. I am overwhelmed by it all I don't know if I can overcome this mess I have gotten myself into I am tired of hiding



RACH2269
Posts: 25
1/21/09 8:46 A

“Count your smiles instead of your tears; Count your courage instead of your fears.” emoticon



KIMSCIOLINO
Posts: 44
1/21/09 8:29 A

Yes! Afraid more like terrified. I have been gaining weight for the past few years. I have a VERY STRESSFUL job and have had a complete hysterectomy. I have tried to lose weight in the past but usually give up after a few months when I do not see any results. This time I am going to stay motivated in hopes that I will succeed....



SPARKLESSENCE
SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (5,405)
Posts: 2,535
1/21/09 8:08 A

Not making my weight goal this year...I fear that, and the consequences.



DEBADOO2
Posts: 614
1/21/09 7:56 A

I try not to think of the negative and live in the moment.Fears are typically negative thoughts and can sometimes become self fulfilling prophesies. If I live in today I can control what I eat, how much I exercise etc. and if I have a bad day...instead of thinking that this was the beginning of the end. I brush it off and start fresh the following day.



NEBWRITER
Posts: 175
1/21/09 7:39 A

The biggest thing that I'm afraid of is not being able to use the talents that I've been blessed with as much as I'm able to. With that in mind, that is why I'm going at my healthier lifestyle with such a fervor. I am afraid of not being healthy enough to pursue and accomplish what I'm supposed to be doing with my life. Does this fear paralyze me? No, not at all. It does serve as motivation, though. But the biggest motivation I have is 1) The love of my family and friends and 2) My love for myself and of being alive. If I'm not healthy, then I can't live my life to the fullest. If I'm not healthy, then it is an insult to myself, those who count on me, and God. That is how I see it.



ROSIE777
Posts: 12,173
1/21/09 7:37 A

Fear is not something I look for, but concur.



VIRENDER1
SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (52,165)
Posts: 1,060
1/21/09 6:48 A

i do agree



HISTORIAS
Posts: 1
1/21/09 12:40 A

Afraid of what? Everyone is afraid of something. Fear can be good and bad. When it prevents you from doing something stupid - it's good. When it holds you back - it's bad. What you might do is decide what you are afraid of - then think about what would happen if you moved beyond the fear. If we would happen to be talking about failure - so what? If you do not try - that is truly failure. If you try and don't succeed - that's just practice. I recently read a good book about this - Who Moved My Cheese. It's a quick - but effective read. I'm afraid of a lot of things - but I have to work through them unless I want fear to rule my life -which I don't.



TICKLEANNA
SparkPoints: (49,042)
Fitness Minutes: (36,770)
Posts: 1,595
1/21/09 12:28 A

i am constantly afraid all the time of making a fool of myself. i fear social rejection like the plague. i'm also afraid of failing, of getting fatter, of getting diabetes like my father, of dying too young, of dying alone....



DECKARDB-263-54
Posts: 4
1/20/09 11:59 P

Afraid of failure? Yes . . . I think that we all have a fear of failing in our goals, but then I remember that failure is just a clever way of giving up. It's sort of like saying, "Well, I guess I failed so now I can stop trying!" It's actually easier to label our attempts as failure, because then we can go back to what we were doing. No! Not an option - I don't give myself the luxury of failure, because as long as I keep trying, I am NOT a failure. Fear not, gang, you guys are doing it and don't let anyone (including yourself) attach that label to you!!



EATINGSMARTER
Posts: 411
1/20/09 11:42 P

I am afriad of not doing this - I have to - I live with the result of not trying. I watch my obese mom live a tied down life because she cannot break the grip that food has on her. She will not try - I have no choice except try or be just like her.



TINABELLE324
Posts: 71
1/20/09 11:28 P

I do.. but I just keep thinking about the clothes I can buy when I DON'T FAIL:)



SHAYLA_B
SparkPoints: (7,498)
Fitness Minutes: (6,960)
Posts: 310
1/20/09 10:53 P

I definitely get afraid of failing. Before recently it was THEE thing that would keep me from even trying something new or going after a goal. But what took me forever to realize that letting that fear of failing hold me back WAS FAILING! So its more fulfilling to at least try your best and see what happens. That way, you erase all doubt.



PHOENIX094
SparkPoints: (1,805)
Fitness Minutes: (1,797)
Posts: 6
1/20/09 10:34 P

I sometimes have this same problem. I used to be discouraged by the fact that it would take me longer to get dressed to work out than I could work out for. To get over that, I started trying new things with a friend who is free spirited and has similar workout goals.

I also have no problem laughing at myself. I find that people are pretty friendly and if you let them know you are new at something, most often they will help you. If you don't engage them, like for me in the gym, most people are so caught up with their workout or their goals, that they don't notice you making what you think is a fool of yourself.

Sometimes, if you don't have any friends with similar interests in those things, you can seek people on the message boards or buddys in your area who want to try it too.



EVELYNLOIS
Posts: 24
1/20/09 10:17 P

I have the same fears and went to a group meeting tonight and discussed this very statement. The answer is whatever amount of calories you take in to maintain you weight when you reach goal is what you stick to and this is a lifestyle change not temporary fix and then reward yourself with food afterwards as I have done 5 times in my lifetime to only gain it back plus some. I am the heaviest I have ever been right now and plan on loosing it all one more time but for good this time. I know it has to be for life and I am worth it and you are too. Take care and God Bless !! emoticon



EVELYNLOIS
Posts: 24
1/20/09 10:14 P

I have the same fears and went to a group meeting tonight and discussed this very statement. The answer is whatever amount of calories you take in to maintain you weight when you reach goal is what you stick to and this is a lifestyle change not temporary fix and then reward yourself with food afterwards as I have done 5 times in my lifetime to only gain it back plus some. I am the heaviest I have ever been right now and plan on loosing it all one more time but for good this time. I know it has to be for life and I am worth it and you are too. Take care and God Bless !! emoticon



ARMYMOM10
SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (200)
Posts: 16
1/20/09 9:48 P

No I am not afraid. This is just a suggestion. Keep your old big pants and compare it to your new smaller size pants, that might help you realize how much you have lost and keep you from thinking you are fat.



KYKELLY
Posts: 17
1/20/09 9:39 P

scared that i wont find a job when i graduate in august :(



TODDERICKV
Posts: 6,603
1/20/09 9:35 P

constant struggle. i have lost and put it on many times. that fear is always in my mind.



AUGUSTRN
Posts: 16
1/20/09 9:35 P

THANKS!!! emoticon I know I'll get there eventually......By the way BAMOM19 I just read your USA today story and YOU ROCK!!!



BAMOM19
SparkPoints: (51,998)
Fitness Minutes: (57,756)
Posts: 1,790
1/20/09 9:30 P

Good for you August!!! That's awesome. When I started at the gym I was sure people would gawk at me, but I realized that no one cares what I look like, they are all too into themselves and doing their workouts. I know that now when I see someone who started where I was, I always smile and I feel so proud of them. We all started at th same point and getting fit is what we all want. So be proud, you rock!!! You will be that transformation, only you'll be better than the contestants because you are doing it in a safe manor that will help you keep from regaining the weight!



AUGUSTRN
Posts: 16
1/20/09 9:12 P

I read COUNTRYBUMPKIN65's post and it struck a chord with me. I made a pact with myself that I would push myself and go to the gym at the beginning of the year. I was there bright and early and though I started out slow, I was there on the elliptical (all 274 jiggling pounds)....lol. I usually don't talk much while I'm at the gym, but I get the opportunity to listen to this particular group of ladies gossip and one of their favorite topics on a wednesday morning is the "Biggest Loser" episode from the night before. I've overheard them talk about how these people are "so big" when they start and they can't believe the transformations these people make over the course of a few months. That makes me even more determined to lose my jiggle FOREVER!!!!! I want to be one of those tranformations....I've fought my weight for almost 20 years and I'm tired of it being the top thing on my mind no matter what....I'm not going to let myself be afraid of what these people say or think of me anymore. I used to think "If only I lost a few pounds I would go to the gym and feel comfortable being there." I've changed my perspective though.... I can just sit around and be the same weight a year from now, or I can get up and do something to make myself better physically and emotionally. I opt to do something!!!



BAMOM19
SparkPoints: (51,998)
Fitness Minutes: (57,756)
Posts: 1,790
1/20/09 9:03 P

I understand your reluctance, in fact I was the same way in the beginning. I kept thinking I wasn't ready for the gym, but my kids pushed the envelope when they gave me a membership for my birthday (8 months and 88 pounds into the program). I found that, I can do whatever I want. It encouraged me to try other things, we took dance lessons, and even started going to a line dancing bar. I bought a bike and ride with my daughter and I entered to races a 5K and a 4 miler. You just have to jump in and go for it. As for not having anyone to go with, think of it as an opportunity to find other people who enjoy the same activity as you, and maybe form a bond...good luck you can do it!!!



MAXIET
Posts: 290
1/20/09 8:51 P

You just have to go & do it. If you stop & think about being afraid about everything, you'd never leave your house. If they want to stop & watch, let them! Tell them to take a picture. I admire joggers, it's something I can't do, so if I see one, I smile & think good for them!



ZIZZOUSA
Posts: 25
1/20/09 8:11 P

Thinking about it, it's such a strange thing. If I see a person out jogging, even an overweight one, I don't think anything of it, I don't stare. It's just a person running for their health and wellbeing. I don't think many people regard joggers too differently.

But when I'm out running, I think the entire city is trained on me. Every car, every person, is judging me and my beetroot face. But then I remember how stupid and not to mention egotistical that is. I am a person jogging in the street, nothing more. There are bits jiggling, but I'm not going to stick in anyone's memory. I'm just a jogger.

Every day I become less afraid. Jogging outside was a massive step for me, I never thought I'd be one of those fit people who can actually take to the streets and run. I did it, and didn't even freeze to death either.



IDALUKE
SparkPoints: (50,932)
Fitness Minutes: (50,620)
Posts: 2,566
1/20/09 8:06 P

I can relate, I lose weight and then I put back on along with a extra lb so now I'm going to lose it this year and not put it back on Ida



SA2002NG
Posts: 420
1/20/09 7:50 P

I can so relate. It keeps me up at night, however the support we get here is great!



MISSAY3278
Posts: 13
1/20/09 7:13 P

Look at you! You've already lost 13 pounds! I'm afraide too. Afraid of failure and not being able to stay thin...However, that's why we're here right? To make a lifestyle change! Congratulations on your weight loss and keep up the good luck!



TSBENTON
Posts: 42
1/20/09 6:59 P

I am sooo afraid. Afraid of failure, afraid of never being thin again, afraid of not having the will power to see it through to the end. What I do have is a GREAT support team that surrounds me and boosts me every single day. I think without them, my fears would overcome me...



NIKKICMERUN
Posts: 83
1/20/09 6:53 P

I'm afraid that once I get down to my goal weight, I will still think I'm fat.



DTBTSSANDFLUFFY
Posts: 18,289
1/20/09 6:20 P

Don't be afraid to go and do thing s you want to do..
no one is staring.

they are there ..
thinking you are stareing at them.

i go swimming .
to the gym

i see everyone smaller than me
but they are struggling just as hard as me
and some of them come to me and chat.
cause they know i am trying.

and it is working

and i won't be a health problem later.

and i some times am doing better than they are.

so don't be afraid to go cross country skiing or any sports.
everyone is there with you .. trying not to be afraid...

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon



BARCINTL
SparkPoints: (15,724)
Fitness Minutes: (40,126)
Posts: 234
1/20/09 6:09 P

My biggest fear is losing control, gaining it all back. I know it's all there, a fat person waiting to escape from this thin body, the old habits waiting to take hold again.



STEPHNICK99
Posts: 48
1/20/09 5:50 P

How can I see the original post Is Anyone Else Afraid? Hope I'm answering it right but I am very afraid of failing again but I am very confident I wont because I am at a place now where I want to lose it for me, for my health, and for my son to see a great example of healthy living. I'm always afraid of seeing anyone who knew me when I wasn't heavy. I am tired of being afraid and am ready to be proud and strong. Good luck to all! We can do it!



PENNIF
Posts: 513
1/20/09 5:50 P

I'm with SUNSHINEMUM. This time I feel better than ever. And determined. This time it's about ME and ME ONLY. And I refuse to give up. I just started level 2 of my cardio program, so I have to do both level 1 and level 2. And level 2 is HARD. So I started feeling bad and saying I won't be able to stick with this, but then I remembered that's how I felt the first time I did level 1. But I progressed pretty quickly and now it's not so bad. I WANT IT!! I'M GONNA GET IT!!



SUNSHINEMUM
Posts: 906
1/20/09 5:38 P

I can honestly said this time round I feel confident and determined to live a healthier life. I WILL SUCCEED!! I want it for ME!!

emoticon



FCASTELO
Posts: 4,360
1/20/09 4:52 P

of what?



COUNTRYBUMKIN65
Posts: 632
1/20/09 4:37 P

Fears...I have many. Not going back home for visits because someof my old friend might see me..Not going into restaurants alone because I know people are thinking "Yeah like she needs to eat. Not buying sweets because of the same reason of being stared and and judged. Not going to a public gym because I will be see with my jiggling body... And yeah, those that hid the ice cream cone been there for sure. I fight with these fears every day.
Thank you all for sharing your fears, I don't feel so alone. emoticon



MUFFIY831
Posts: 486
1/20/09 4:17 P

OMG that story cracked me up, because I was reminiscing about the "Cardio Funk" class I took awhile ago! WHAT A HOLY DISASTER THAT WAS!

HAHAHAHAHAA

But I'm glad I did it, just like you said.



SUGAR5783
Posts: 363
1/20/09 4:07 P

I am not one to try new things alone either.

But recently I gave it a try. My gym has "Fiesta Latina"--a dance/cardio class. I'd been eyeing for some time but never had the courage to do it nor could I work out a time good for my friends to join me. One day I was at the gym alone right before it started and decided to just go in and do it. I felt like an idiot. For starters, I'm pretty sure I was the only one in the room that didn't speak Spanish so everyone was chattering to each other and I couldn't have felt even more alone. I also learned that I have ZERO coordination. The instructor would stop class and teach me the routine before starting everyone else on it. I was singled out as the only person who couldn't get it. If I didn't feel alone before, I certainly felt it then.

BUT, no matter how uncomfortable it was, I'm glad I tried it. For one, I learned that I don't have much coordination and maybe I should work on that. Secondly, i was proud of myself for giving it a shot and sticking through it no matter how many times I thought about bolting for the door. And third, now I see those women around the gym and have a little smile with them. Maybe Fiesta Latina class isn't for me, but I would have always wondered and had "shoulda-woulda-coulda's"!



KENTUCKYWOMAN54
Posts: 71
1/20/09 3:55 P

I've read through several of the post on this topic and must say that I have a great deal in common with many who have replied. I am afraid that I will never get my weight below 200 pounds again and that I will always be miserable about it. I am afraid that my health will eventually be bad, because of it. I am afraid of not being able to truly live and enjoy my life, because my weight keeps me from doing many of the things I use to enjoy before my weight became such an issue. I'm afraid I will never feel and look sexy again. The feel is so much more important then the look, but look would be nice. I'm afraid because of my weight I may not see my youngest child grown with a family of his own.



BUTTERFLYFIELDS
Posts: 1
1/20/09 3:20 P

I can so relate to this topic. And so can so many other people I see! My most prominent fear is, NOT being able to finish what I start. I have been losing and gaining weight for the past fifteen years. I lost ten pounds then think "oh wonderful, now I can add (insert bad habit of choice) back into my diet" or " I don't think I have what it takes to lose this weight" But you know what? Over these past fifteen years I have learned sooooo much! I have learned that quick and easy don't neccesarily solve the problem over a long period of time. I was also in the habit "geting tired of this diet" and just giving up only to gain back my lost weight and more. I have recently picked up on the slogan "slow and steady wins the race" as my weight loss mantra. I thought that to really lose weight I would have to subscribe to a diet that told me everything I should eat and that I would have to pay tons of money for said food. But with spark people I am learning that I can eat the food I have at home (within certain parameters) and still lose weight. So here's to choking out my fear with success and living a life that isn't food centered! emoticon



MRS.BEAMAN
SparkPoints: (8,816)
Fitness Minutes: (12,368)
Posts: 250
1/20/09 3:07 P

The thing that scares me the most is having myself get in the way. Whenever something gets too tough I am known for convincing myself that it is not something that needs to be done at that exact moment. That is one big reason why trying to get healthier has not worked in the past.



MS_DOLLFACE
Posts: 384
1/20/09 3:00 P

Hmmmm? I Like this topic. It took me a minute to sit back and actually think about my fears but I realized my fear is...sabotaging myself, like I always do...meaning lose some weight then stop like, "your fine don't lose anymore" but not anymore it's almost like I'm afraid of the unknown, becoming the healthy me. so now that I have come to terms with this I plan to use this as motivation and I hope you all do the same we're all strong and we can do this.....so with that said...Good Luck Everyone!! emoticon



KARISSA831
Posts: 14
1/20/09 2:50 P

my husband actually helped me to realize that sometimes it's fun to make a fool of your self in front of other people...and to try new things that you look silly doing, just because it's fun .I used to be horribably scared of what others thought about me ( I still am sometimes) but now I have great fun getting a chuckle out of the weird looks people give me. It's quite liberating. Everyone's a beginner at some point, pretty soon you'll be a pro. You just have to go out there and do it. I know it's easier said than done, but once you make that first leap, there will be no going back! You can do it!



NEED2BHEALTHE
SparkPoints: (2,336)
Fitness Minutes: (2,842)
Posts: 58
1/20/09 2:43 P

I completely understand, how you feel. Just yesterday I was looking at the new stretchmarks creeping along my hips and sides. I just turned 26 and I am the fattest I have ever been- 220 pounds. It took 6 years to put on this weight, and now I am trying to take it off, but as I look at myself in the mirror I have to block out my fears of how I will look after. So I just made a promise to myself that I will stay on track, and I am saving my money for plastic surgery after I have reached my goal weight.



APPLEPIEDREAMS
SparkPoints: (148,464)
Fitness Minutes: (71,880)
Posts: 8,804
1/20/09 2:40 P

A little bit. But I'm getting over it. I figured if I can quit smoking and run a marathon then I can do anything. I'm trying out ice climbing starting Friday, but I'm taking it through a class at the university so I have the education not to hurt myself. Same thing with yoga. I was afraid that I might look like an idiot when I started, but half way through the first class I was soooo glad I had tried it.

That's what I remind myself when fear tries to talk me out of something - that I have never regretted trying something as much as I have regretted not trying some things.




 
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