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RAFAND Posts: 779
1/23/09 2:10 A

Yes, I am afraid: afraid of not being strong enough to stay with the changes that I need to make to achieve my goal, afraid of how I feel when I am hungry and afraid of not being able to tolerate these feelings for long enough to make substantial changes, afraid of giving in to the millions of temptations, afraid of not being able to maintain even if I ever get to goal, afraid that my life will essentially still be the same even if I am thinner!

Right now I'm very near the start and I see the next year as a huge challenge; I have become unfit and unwell so the smallest amount of exercise seems like an enormous achievement. I fear that I will reach a point of not being able to keep adding very small increments to the exercise schedule...

over a lifetime of being overweight / obese, I have tried so many diets and learnt a lot about nutrition. what I am afraid of now is that it doesn't matter how much I know, I will still be drawn to over-eating and under-exercising. I am afraid of repeating patterns from the past, giving in to fatigue and hunger. somehow I am afraid that it's harder for me than it is for other people and that I may not be up to the task.

TRISCHI7 Posts: 139
1/23/09 1:51 A

I'm afraid to commit to my diet fully, as it might entail failure and guilt, and I have enough self judgement as things are. On the other hand, I now realize how I judge myself for my weight just as bad- and therefore really have nothing to lose. If I want, I can always go back to old habits, but being properly fit fit and fully committed? never tried that! Really, nothing to lose and nothing to fear.

KAUFMANJR Posts: 6
1/23/09 1:36 A

If we fall, we must pick ourselves up. In picking ourselves up, we risk falling again. But, we must get up anyway. There are many fears that people have expressed here and they are all legitimate. If your goal is to lose 10 pounds in a month and you lose 8; or 5 pounds in a month and you lose 3, you still have succeeded in pushing towards your goal. I urge all of you with any type of fears to push forward and try to forget about past failures. Look to the future, do what you can to stay on the right track and remember your loved ones who need you to be in the best possible shape you can be in, to be able to help them or just be there for them. Its not the falling that gets us, unless we choose to stay there. Lets all encourage and lift one another up!

Edited by: KAUFMANJR at: 1/25/2009 (14:46)
SNIRODY Posts: 48
1/22/09 11:31 P

I am! I am afraid. And the most shocking thing is, I've never realized I was afraid, scared stiff of losing weight until I saw this discussion. I can't see myself thin. I can't believe I will ever weigh what I want to weigh. I can't say with any certainty whether I will be on my best behaviour tomorrow, but I know I can only control what I am doing today. I need to remember my goals every moment of the day, and know that my weight today is better than 10 additional pounds, and when I will be 10 pounds lighter, I will be better off than I am today.

HAMONRYE Posts: 7
1/22/09 11:21 P

I'm not afraid.

ADELEKH Posts: 44
1/22/09 11:00 P

I'm afraid of more than just failure. I'm afraid that I'm not completely ready to change and make that change 100%, because if I don't the health problems I'm facing will kill me. Should I post or not ... ?

PAM1968 SparkPoints: (18,713)
Fitness Minutes: (6,465)
Posts: 2,494
1/22/09 10:53 P

I am afraid of failing. However, I think that I am even more afraid of success. Does anyone else feel this way?

SANDYANN55 Posts: 5
1/22/09 10:00 P

Like most of you, I too am afraid of failing. Of not being able to accomplish what I said I would. I enjoy food ... good and bad ... I enjoy it all. But, I am also afraid of High Blood Pressure and other ailments that are common among the overweigh. I will keep trying.....

SANDYJEAN125 Posts: 1,205
1/22/09 9:49 P

I am afraid of failing, afraid of not losing the weight, afraid of what people will say if they knew i was exercising and dieting and still not losing...
But I am more afraid of heart disease, high cholesterol, high triglycerides and diabetes. I am more afraid of not being able to move fast enough because my weight slows me down, looking older because my weight makes me look older and not being able to keep up with my younger cohorts.
The good outweighs the bad.

BIBI071 Posts: 94
1/22/09 9:08 P

I'm going to quote my favorite quote that I have hanging all over my house:

Our deepest fear is not that
we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are
powerful beyond measure.
We ask ourselves "Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?"
Actually, who are you not to be?
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
We were born to make manifest the glory
of God that is within us.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.

I have to repeat this to myself so often to realize that this journey is forever and the results will manifest a great new me, with a new attitude and a different outlook on life.
Losing weight is just the beginning of the journey!
I can't be afraid anymore, I have to be strong.


emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

GHASTINC Posts: 214
1/22/09 7:57 P

I too am afraid of failure but determined to stay on task here. Tomorrow I'm giving away all of my clothes that are too big. I'm kind of afraid of needing them again but this is a fear that I have to face now.
Keep up the good work everyone. We can conquer this fear!

PEREJOHN41 Posts: 24
1/22/09 7:41 P

Yeah, I'm afraid, afraid of failing in the exercise program, afraid of going over my calorie count, afraid of the scales. But I know that I have to do it this time, for me!

MICHECOX1 Posts: 108
1/22/09 7:34 P

I'm afraid I'll give in to peer pressure and quit my new lifestyle- vegetarianism. My husband isn't one, no one in my family is one, and it's difficult to cook two meals, one for him and one for me. But I know I'm doing what's right for me and for the earth.

AUGUST2009 Posts: 47
1/22/09 7:08 P

I suffer from anxiety and I am afraid nearly all the time. Now, you might think that's a negative thing, but it has taught me that fear can be a source of pride and accomplishment. Every time I do something I am afraid of I feel a massive sense of achievement. I am afraid that I will a) fall off the wagon when I've only just got on it b) get bored with SP (actually that's just a convenient excuse for giving up when the going gets tough). Really, what I think I'm most afraid of is being slim and getting romantic attention again. And having to take responsibility instead of blaming everything of my weight. emoticon

SHELLJAN09 Posts: 58
1/22/09 6:39 P

Yeah I'm afraid, I'm afraid that I won't reach my goals that I've set for myself and then i'm a fellure again. I just need to remember that i'm the one that is incontrol of myself and nobody else i'm the only one that reach those goals that i've set and no one can do it for me.

47RACING71 Posts: 138
1/22/09 6:34 P

I am terrified of failing. That is all I do. I have no luck or will power to do anything. I have back problems, neropathy in my hands and feet. Sometimes, I just want to crawl ina corner and never come out. I hope that we can all give each the faith and courage to finish what we have started here. emoticon

CAROL61NB Posts: 1
1/22/09 6:31 P

I'd love to be able to say that I'm NOT scared but I've fought the battle for too many years to think that it's over now. I am lots better educated about nutrition and diet now and don't think that food is the answer to every problem I've ever had. I also love to sweat now, but hated it as a younger woman. I'm also afraid to die the way my mother did - very fat and unhappy and full of dreams that she never moved out of the realm of fantasy. I really want to be more and better and healthier and live to be 114. Why 114? I have no idea, but many years ago I woke up believing that I'd live to that age - but what's the point if you're not healthy?!


SIXFOOT1QT Posts: 266
1/22/09 6:30 P

I admit I am always afraid of "failing". I understand repeated attempts to loose weight. I have been trying since high school. But I no longer look at it as a "failure", because you have succeeded and you have reached goals before each time take it as a life style change and an enhancement to helping you achieve your overall goal. Don't let "failure" be an option, you can do it and you will, it may not be as quick as we wish but with persistence it will be a goal to celebrate. If the weight starts creeping back, kick it up a notch and be determined to knock it right back down. emoticon

LERNER47 Posts: 829
1/22/09 6:20 P

I'm afraid of failing again. I've tried so many times to get to my goal weight over the last 12 years and have never made it. I lost over 50 lbs on Weight Watchers a year and a half ago but when my session ended I stopped. I didn't have to get weighed every week in front of a group of ladies I worked with so I began to go back to my old ways until all the weight was back.

57WINDDANCER SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (385)
Posts: 38
1/22/09 6:15 P

I am real proud of my doing exercises but I am a smoker with a quit date in my mind of March 1st. Even though I have quit by half, meaning I was smoking a pack and a half a day, I can not seem to get past 13 cigs in a day. I don't have much time left to taper it down yet I can't even smoke just 12. It scares the heck out of me. I really do want to quit. I wonder if I am on a plateau like in weight loss. LOL tho not really funny

MARBEAR Posts: 191
1/22/09 6:05 P

A little afraid that I won't ever reach the goal of losing the last 10lbs!

CECE0330 Posts: 3,442
1/22/09 6:04 P

Yup. I've been hopping on the scale every day this week because I'm so afraid of the weight sneaking back up on me again. I'm also afraid because I'm on vacation next week, and staying strong at home is so much harder than when I'm at work!

SANDRAFRITH Posts: 9
1/22/09 5:38 P

I still the same way as you, but the more I work at the easier it is getting for me to stay on tract...We need each other and god to lift each one of us up to make it.....So keep on trying and reminder that god is on our side....
Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of thing not seen. Hebrews 11:1 emoticon

USAND4GIRLS Posts: 1
1/22/09 5:30 P

I was doing so well a while back and at some point stopped trying. I had lost between 35 and 40 pounds and was feeling and looking good (better). I remember thinking to myself that I was not meant to be skinny or a normal weight. I think that subconsciously I feel like God made me to be fat. I know that this is not so, but it doesn't change the way I feel. So... eventually, I put all of my weight back on. Now, I'm back on SP and going to try to do better. I've got to overcome my self image or something.

SCECINA Posts: 9
1/22/09 5:22 P

I'm still playing around with the site and topic sites. At 68 this will be my 5th and last try to loose and maintain the loss. Failure again to keep the weight off is one of my main concerns. There is very little left in life ,that doesn't cause pain or worsen and existing condition, which will give immediate gratification or lasting pleasure. There has to be something in our lives that isn't expensive beyond belief, painful, requires two days preperation,or requires excessive amounts of energy.
I'm really looking forward to being my husbands primary care giver after bilateral knee surgery. I have trouble putting my own shoes on.Venting over

TSMITH1! Posts: 2
1/22/09 5:06 P

I like this topic. I think we are all afraid of things in our life and can understand everyone's concerns and feelings as I have them too. I am an emotional eater and have managed to put on 30 pounds over the last 6 months. I had been going to LA Weight Loss for the past year and a half until their closure and I thought that I had finally gotten a hold on myself as I had lost 50 pounds and only had 10 more...well was I wrong! Somewhere in the last few months I've lost myself and indulged way too much in my comfort foods. I guess we just have to keep trying and contribute to things like the message boards so we can relate to others. Am I afraid? Definitely! BUT hang in there...I know I'm going to try. Don't give up!

JESSESGIRL1212 Posts: 627
1/22/09 4:35 P

I have been afraid most of my life...of any kind of changes, of failure, of success...pretty much everything. But that is changing. At 47, I am returning to school as well as attempting to lose the weight that I have always needed to lose. It will be a long slow process for me changing a lifetime of bad eating habits, but I can do it!! I am not afraid anymore!

GRRRMEEMAW SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (915)
Posts: 65
1/22/09 3:57 P

I guess I am afraid of failure on another diet plan. So now I try to focus more on just trying to be healthy and not look at numbers. I want to be around awhile and be healthy for myself and my family.

SHERRING7 Posts: 4
1/22/09 3:57 P

Just go ahead and try. Just remember your friends don't care and the other people don't matter. Don't worry, they were new one time too. If you want to start running just run a minute then walk a minute (or two or three) Start slow and it won't be too hard. Good luck.



GOALIEGRANDMA3 SparkPoints: (88,335)
Fitness Minutes: (60,790)
Posts: 6,489
1/22/09 3:38 P

I find it helpful to try to see how many points I can earn by reading articles, health news, etc. on the my points page. I keep running across really motivating messages.

Also, giving some boost to others in their dilemma also helps me...after all, I can't give others help if I don't follow it myself.

Since joining I have spent lots of time exploring this great site and just what is available for motivation, etc.

We Can Do It emoticon

BUDDACUPZ SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (2,377)
Posts: 454
1/22/09 3:37 P

I'm not so much to say afraid, just sometimes lazy. My sister and I started working out together, so we are each others buddies. But sometimes that's not even enough so that's why we both joined spark people. I even have them on my myspace page. We started doing the Biggest Loser workout, it's crazy fun and you can really feel it, and after that we do about 11 minutes of yoga to calm down. If I had to say that I was afraid, I know that I would never reach my goal of losing the 30 lbs that I packed on over the past 3 years. So, I'm not afraid, I'm just intimidated by myself.

CHISUS Posts: 43
1/22/09 3:35 P

Yes! I was just thinking about sustaining a change over time. I have been avoiding the fitness element, because I don't enjoy the "getting back into it" and I'm afraid of being weak or finding myself not wanting to do something.

It's so weird, because I was going to look for a string like this or start it. And here it was at the top of the Message Board.

CHRISTYMARIE88 Posts: 1,332
1/22/09 3:32 P

Try again. Fail again. Fail better. ~Samuel Beckett

I anticipate failure, but I know I'll screw things up at first, and won't be perfect. But really, so what? I'll be better next time :)

KIELYGIRL Posts: 339
1/22/09 3:18 P

I am totally afraid... my husband has told me that i am not allowed to quit this time... i've quit so many times before. right now i am pumped and doing SO well...but this has happened in the past and as soon as i hit a road block i quit...i CAN NOT let myslef do that this time!

HAPPYWRITER7 Posts: 9,709
1/22/09 3:17 P

OP, more power to you girl! I think the fact that you are even thinking in terms of wanting to go out and try those new activities means youre on the right track!! I would be afraid also, but I wouldnt even have thought of those fitness activites. I think you will find that before long, youll be out on those slopes!! Good Luck!

JOHARY SparkPoints: (3,729)
Fitness Minutes: (3,166)
Posts: 185
1/22/09 3:13 P

I'm definetly afraid of failure, of falling of the wagon, of losing momentum and going back to my bad habits. I'm afraid of the plateu and that it will discourage me and I'll gain weight again.

KATIE_DID13 SparkPoints: (5,899)
Fitness Minutes: (3,472)
Posts: 206
1/22/09 3:08 P

I always let fear get in the way and it ends up making me look like a stereotypical dumb blonde. Everytime I try something new like a sport or a gym class, I'm afraid if I actually try hard and fail people will feel sorry for me because I'm trying so hard. But if I pretend like I'm bad at it anyway and put forth no effort and then just laugh and giggle they'll laugh WITH me. And that's not who I am at all. I'm actually really smart and athletic if I would just try. Even reading what I just wrote makes me ashamed of myself but I just feel so self conscious until I've tried something a few times and figure it out.

PAISLEYPUNCH Posts: 77
1/22/09 2:53 P

Andrhoba, me too!

I am afraid that:

- I don't have the discipline to lose the weight
- I don't have the discipline to keep it off
- That I'll stay 50 lbs from goal forever
- I won't like the way I'll look
- I'll have to compromise things/foods I love

Sometimes it just feels good to say what you're afraid of. Because then it's not in the dark anymore, and things are less scary in the light.

4-1HEALTHYCYNDI Posts: 11,270
1/22/09 2:43 P

DESERTDREAMERS,

Last year, at age 47 and very out of shape and very terrified I tried rock climbing for the first time. I just knew that I would fall. I wouldn't be able to make it to the top. I was also afraid of the pain.

But I tried it because a good friend who has been climbing for years suggested it. We couldn't go hiking because of the weather and she knew a gym where we could try it.

So here's what happened. I probably looked like a fool. I was too busy learning and then climbing to look around. Actually I was terrified of turning around and falling off the wall that I never looked at other people while I was on the wall. I was then and still am the largest woman at the gym. (Yeah, we bought a membership to the gym where we started.) Those who did take notice of me called out support like where there was a foot or hand hold that I couldn't see.

Now rock climbing is my favorite sport/activity for exercise. Try it, you just might like it. As for the pain. I have more pain now from doing the Biggest Loser Cardio Max dvd than I did from climbing.

Suggestion on starting. Find a friend or partner to go with, someone you trust. Find a rock climbing gym. They will teach you the safety first, then supervise the first several climbs. They have the equipment there, including shoes.

Go for it. And NO YOU ARE NOT CRAZY!

Cyndi

DIDIMUM Posts: 52
1/22/09 2:35 P

i have exactly those fears! we can do this!!

MARGOLUND Posts: 916
1/22/09 2:13 P

don't let your fear stop you from doing something that you rally want to do. Sign up for lessons and you may find a friend there that wants what you want. Best of luck!!

VAILAJ Posts: 259
1/22/09 1:59 P

I agree that we are all afraid of something. I appreciate your humility andrhoba

ANDRHOBA Posts: 10
1/22/09 1:54 P

I'm afraid that
-I won't loose the weight,
-that I'll gain it back,
-that people will look at me as fat (which I hate to admit that I am)
-my daughter will inherit my body type
-chocolate will be my downfall
-I'll never fit into some of my old clothes again
-That in order to keep the weight off I will have to miss out on the enjoyment of eating the things I love

These are all silly things to be afraid of, when there are bigger problems out there, but everyone is afraid of something!



MSWEEZER SparkPoints: (85,315)
Fitness Minutes: (97,530)
Posts: 8,726
1/22/09 12:04 P

Reading through this I too find it interesting there are so many of us with our fears but being able to express them and know what they are about is a starting point. I also agree with the fact that we have "CONTROL" over how we react to these fears. I have been there and once I faced those fears and did the hard work, my life changed, for the better forever. I know I hurt others but I knew if I didn't take care of me, I'd likely not be here today as the alternative was choosing death over life. That is one dark space I hope no one ever has to experience. But I am a survivor and happy to be alive today and pushing to make myself better and enjoy my 50's. I have two wonderful sons who are grown and now trying to find their way in this shaken world. I cannot 'fix' things for them but I can be here to love them unconditionally and support their efforts to improve themselves and try and teach them from my mistakes.

I guess it is nice to know that you're not alone. emoticon

VAILAJ Posts: 259
1/22/09 11:50 A

To the one who mentioned the Bible, I think about Romans 7:23

RUTHANNE532 SparkPoints: (7,715)
Fitness Minutes: (7,662)
Posts: 3
1/22/09 11:45 A

For many of us, we create a comfort zone around us with our weight. Once we decide to change it there are any number of fears, real or imagined that can sabotage us in our fight, yes fight, to lose the weight. But we can't let the fears that can constantly bombard you be the reason you don't try and succeed. Overcoming the fear is part of the journey to a slimmer, healthier you!

15-2-GO SparkPoints: (1,768)
Fitness Minutes: (105)
Posts: 169
1/22/09 11:41 A

I can empathize with how Redgranitewis feels. I lost my job two weeks ago (after 15 years with the company) and I'm terrified. I havejust over three more months severance, but now have to pay for insurance. I have two kids and a mortgage. Yes, I'm scared. Yes, I have faith this will lead to better opportunities, but right now the full shock of being unemployed for the first time in my life is sinking in and I gotta tell you...it's rough.

CHICKADI6386 SparkPoints: (8,379)
Fitness Minutes: (6,865)
Posts: 169
1/22/09 10:36 A

What? I AM NOT AFRAID!!!!!!!

What are you all afriad of?? Actually becoming the person you've always wanted to be on the outside and inside? Afraid of being happy? Afraid of feeling like you have super powers because of your rise in self-confidence? Afria of being fit and in shape?

You should never be afraid of bettering yourself. You will gain a lot of self confidence and the rewards from losing weight are all positive, so why should anyone be scared? There is nothing about weight loss that could negatively effect your lives. This topic just makes no sense to me....



SJESSUP7361 Posts: 82
1/22/09 10:08 A

I do get scared sometimes but I try to remember that I can be in control of my attitude. Worry doesn't help. I may not be able to control jobs, etc. but I can control my reaction to the uncertainty. Courage is not the absence of fear but taking action despite the fear. I'm trying to be my own hero.

8MOREB4 Posts: 881
1/22/09 10:07 A

Wow! There are a lot of us hurting. I feel sure it will get worse. I would be lost without the hope of a loving God. The Bible works, check it out.





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