You would fire a guy if he told you there was a bug in your hair, and when you started trying to find it said "just kidding"?
I'm a boss, I'd never fire an employee for that.
Edited by: EELPIE at: 1/7/2014 (18:39)
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AZULVIOLETA6: I grew up with 4 older brothers and no sisters. As a Construction Engineer who works on site with a crew of 180 men and about 5 women, I feel comfortable in saying that I understand the male psyche to the degree it can be understood. If this type behaviour ever occurred on my site, I would fire the guy asap. I enjoy working with men but to say that their behaviour might be excused due to "boys being boys or boys doing weird things" is not cool. Someone's gender does not excuse rude, offensive, weird behaviour ever.
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I'm not sure by the original post if the guy actually touched her or not. If he didn't he's an obnoxious but probably harmless person just trying to talk or flirt or hear his own voice or something.
If he DID then I would be absolutely weirded out and feel very invaded. He would have LIED and manipulated her to gain physical contact with her body. False pretenses. If there HAD been a bug and he'd said "Oh it must have flown off" or "oh I can't seem to find it sorry!" that's a totally different thing.
There was a video that went around from the police and transit in my city not long ago of a man very very gently stroking the hair of the lady in the seat ahead of him on the train. She had no idea it was even happening. It was disturbing and invasive and inappropriate. I liken that to this.
No one has a right to touch any part of anyone's body without permission and permission givien under false pretenses is NOT the same thing. Laughing it off because it's 'just her hair' diminishes a person's right to feel protective of their body and heightens the idea that to do so is silly or oversensitive.
If she felt invaded she felt invaded. And frankly I would as well.
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It is odd behavior to joke like this to a complete stranger.
I wouldn't spend much time thinking about it though. It was just a moment of weirdness- not funny but really not that annoying or even threatening.
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Ok...so apparently some of you did not grow up with brothers, male cousins or male friends...
This is the kind of mildly annoying stuff that young guys do when they want to get your attention. This makes them immature and silly--it does not necessarily make them sickos or require the involvement of the police. Let's all just get a grip please.
I'm sorry, I'm not laughing at you or anything, but that's just damn funny. People are strange.
And the guy didn't touch her hair. At least not that she herself reported. She said she swiped her hair herself. I don't think something like this would upset me, but rather baffle me. I'd probably stand there with my mouth hanging open watching the guy walk away and think okay, what was THAT all about?
Okay, so typically I'm with Sheryl but I think this time I agree with those who are saying this guy is a little weird. It's one thing to actually see a beetle (or any bug for that matter) and offer to remove it for someone, even a stranger, but to then act as though it was a joke? That's not funny. The OP allowed this person to touch her hair under the guise of something else. Technically, believe it or not, that can then be considered a battery. I usually let things go, but I probably would've told this person off. If the cops or security guard reacted with anything but seriousness had the OP reported this, they shouldn't be cops. I've had friends play this kind of prank on me, but with those friends it's expected. If I decide I want to shop at a store only located in a mall, I don't expect to get accosted by a stranger who wants to humiliate me for their own enjoyment. Just because teenagers hang out at malls doesn't mean that ADULTS should act like them. It's one thing to see loud obnoxious teenagers, but a person it entitled to their own personal space and safety no matter the demographic.
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This was way out of line especially coming from a stranger. And no offense, Sherylds, I think you appear to be taking this a little too lightly under the circumstances.
It's one thing for someone to see a bug in someone's hair, inform that person and help get it out and quite another to make up a story about a bug. The first is helping someone and is a kindness. The second is weird or mean. Touching someone after making up a story like that makes it more weird and it's also an invasion of someone's personal space to lie to them in order to touch them.
EOWYN has every right and reason to find the incident strange, upsetting and to think the guy was a wierdo. She also has every right in the world to go to the mall without being treated like that. A lot of people enjoy going to the mall, walking around and shopping. Saying someone is acting like a teenager for going to the mall... Really? It sounds like the poster who wrote that is just looking to pick on someone.
Even if the guy was flirting, it was a very strange and invasive way to do it and it's still not acceptable behavior. There are acceptable and unacceptable ways to flirt. So, even giving the guy the benefit of the doubt (and thinking he was just flirting) does not excuse his behavior.
The two posters making fun of EOWYN are out of line, but their behavior does not surprise me as they both have a history of frequently being contrary without reason, frequently making fun of people, etc. here on this board.
I prefer to give people the benefit of the doubt and think the guy was trying to flirt with an attractive lady...rather than dwelling on the experience as a malicious plot by some perverted sicko. And putting a humorous slant on things helps me brush things off.
How one chooses to see things ...says a lot about the person
The OP said she allowed him to take the beetle out of her hair.after she brushed her hair with her hand and wasn't able to find anything, She is upset because he said he was kidding about the whole thing. .... .
but if there had been a bug...I assume.it would have been okay
Edited by: SHERYLDS at: 1/5/2014 (21:07)
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I am one who does not when people touch me. so I can understand why you would be upset.
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I agree with ATHENA1966 yet as I scroll through the responses I see the same posters passing judgement on someone's opinion. Hmmm
Could be he thought your hair is pretty and just wanted to touch it, but your right, he had no business touching you without permission..you know, some people have weird fetishes and you lucky it was only your Hair he touched!
Why do some of you think its amusing to make fun of the OP? Posting an opinion is one thing, making fun of her is just mean.
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don't think the guy would have walked off if there really was something in your hair. there are so many souls out there who just invade the boundaries of others…but, in response to what FAITH said: if I had a bug crawling on me and a stranger saw it, I'd sure want help getting the bug off of me!
If there was a police officer or security guard nearby I'd let then know there's a creep in the mall approaching women in this manner. The person that says you take yourself to serious is way out of line! Really? There are total sickos out there and I wouldn't mess around in this day and age. If they thought they were just being cute, someone needs to let then know what it's appropriate.
Edited by: LOUIE-LILY at: 1/5/2014 (13:06)
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And what if you actually do spot something in someone's hair. Once I was sitting in a bus behind a Chinese young man (Well, he could have been from any far eastern country - just to say he had black hair) and I was aware of a creature crawling up his collar and into his hair.
I watched this creature for a while and wondered what to do. In the end I tapped him on the shoulder, explained what had happened and asked if I could remove it for him. He was obviously bothered that an insect had crawled into his hair and he allowed me to get rid of it for him - then he fiddled with his hair a bit obviously wanting to be sure it had completely gone.
Hey....as you stood there trying to swat the bug out of your hair... do you think people passing by thought: "look at the crazy woman hitting herself on the head...what's wrong with her?"
And in the future when you spot that sicko guy and slap him do you think people passing by will think "look at the crazy woman...she's attacking that poor guy...and he didn't do anything. What is wrong with her?"
Sorry.... I'm bored right now and I'm having fun here
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I can understand I don't like strangers touching my hair. That is very personal. I had very fair hair and my sister was blond. We lived in a country where this was rare. Strange people always took it upon them selves to come up and touch our hair.
That was inappropriate and yes that was inappropriate the way the guy said that about my teenage son (he said his my son was cuter then his 1 1/2 yr old son and it wasn't in Walmart, the guy kept asking me how old my son was over and over again) you weren't there contrary to your beliefs you don't know everything! There are a lot of sicko's in this world and you just can't walk around saying if you change the way you look at things , things will change. I go with my gut, this girl went with her gut... there are a lot of people walking around who didn't go with a gut feeling and some of them have been assaulted and kids have been taken. I know I wouldn't like a perfect stranger saying you have a beetle in your hair and then saying oh just kidding. He invaded her space I don't think that's appropriate ..
Edited by: FENWAYGIRL18 at: 1/5/2014 (09:47)
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Sorry you had to go through this, there are some strange people out there
@OP, sorry this happened to you, but doesn't sound like anything to worry about. Have a great week!
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(as usual) Sheryl!
in EOWYN2424's defense, I don't really care for strangers touching me. I hug friends and family, but people that I don't know I prefer to keep at a distance.
EOWYN2424 - with most folks like that, the more you let them know it bugs you (no pun intended), the more they enjoy it. Trust me - I have several 'agitators' in my family. Once I quit giving them a reaction, they moved on to hassle somebody else.
People make the choice to see things in a positive or negative way.... Recently someone posted a thread about a stranger with a baby in a Walmart paying a compliment to the mother of a teenage boy. The stranger told the mother her teenage son was cute....the mother was outraged. Maybe he was just trying to be nice...but was awkward about it
another scenario....bug flew away or the guy was mistaken...and the guy saw how EOWYN2424 got so upset when she thought she had a bug in her hair, he just told her he was kidding, so she would not feel so creepy about the beetle in her hair.
“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” ~Wayne Dyer
Edited by: SHERYLDS at: 1/5/2014 (08:48)
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A ridiculous way of flirting!
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He probably thought you were cute but has no idea how to flirt!
It was intrusive and inappropriate - reminds me of the strangers who tell women to "smile" or "cheer up". You don't know what's going on in someone's life, and it is not a stranger's place to intrude like that. I don't react well to strangers in my personal space (having been the victim of assault), and I would react very badly to noxious "humour" like this.
You have every right to find his behaviour extremely inappropriate and decidedly not amusing.
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Oh my god! Not your HAIR!!!
Do you ever think that perhaps you take yourself a bit too seriously?
I was in the mall, heading to buy an ice-cream cone when a guy, a complete stranger, walked past and said : "There's something in your hair". I then asked "Where?", and brought my hand around my head and swiped my hair, he then said : "it's some sort of beetle". I brushed my hair with my hand again. Unable to find anything, I stood still to let him take the beetle out of my hair.
Then he said, with a straight face, "you know what, I'm just kidding". Then he walked off.
What kind of sicko walks around doing this to absolute strangers. I so annoyed that I could slap him if I ever saw him again! It wasn't even funny!
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