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Insecure and Always Starting Over



 
 
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MYKIDSRSWEET
SparkPoints: (12,017)
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Posts: 366
7/9/13 10:45 P

I suggest printing a BMI chart and highlighting the normal BMI range and writing your BMI next to it and mailing it to your mother with a note stating thank you for your concern, but my doctor is very happy with the weight I am now.



ARCHIMEDESII
SparkPoints: (135,858)
Fitness Minutes: (204,560)
Posts: 20,199
7/9/13 12:52 P

KOOKIEDOO15,

Eleanor Roosevelt once said,"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

Don't let your mother's comments get you down. I know our family loves us, but some days, they have an odd way of showing it. Like you, several of my family members would make comments about my weight too.

If your mother is so obsessed with you wearing a certain size, there IS a way you can fix that right now. Buy from a different designer. Honestly, the numbers mean nothing. What is a size 8 ? What's the waist size ? What are the hips ? a size 8 in Ralph Lauren is different from a size 8 in Old Navy. Which is different from a size 8 in Ann Taylor. Which is different from a size 8 in Levis.

Try on different size pants. I'll bet you find that you DO fit a size 6 in someone's brand ! I have pants in sizes 6,8, 10 and 10. You know what ? They are all the same size. they all fit. that just shows you how much variation there is when it comes to the numbering size of women's clothing.

So, don't let your mother's comments about wearing a certain size get you down. Also, as others have noted, you don't have to lose weight to drop a clothing size. A good strength training program CAN help you lose 1-2 clothing sizes. It's just a matter of increasing your lean muscle. Don't worry, you will not look like a body builder if you lift a heavy weight. That is a misconception. Women do not pack on muscle the same way men do.

BUT, we do benefit from increasing lean muscle. I've been strength training for a few years now, I wish I had known at your age, what I do now about ST. Strength training really can make a difference.

I have one piece of advice with regards to your insecurity about your body. We do understand. we've all been where you are. One thing I've learned in my own journey is this. I've learned to appreciate what my body can do instead of worrying about how it looks. Remember, good health really does come in many differerent shapes and sizes. What you can do with your body really is more important than how it looks.









ZORBS13
SparkPoints: (93,775)
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Posts: 12,896
7/9/13 6:34 A

How does your mom know what size clothing you wear?



IMANALAULAQI
Posts: 128
7/9/13 5:27 A

I'd say get a July calendar stick it on your mirror the days you do we'll color them in blue the days you don't do well color them in red, the more blues in a row you get the more motivated you'd be to not mess up any day or say I'll say over tomorrow! Oh and don't listen to your mother no one deserves to deal with negative remarks. Best of luck you can do this!



KOOKIEDOO15
SparkPoints: (7,834)
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Posts: 44
7/9/13 2:18 A

Thank you everyone for your support! I'll try and increase my strength training and also continue my cardio.



GRAYLADY13
SparkPoints: (8,246)
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Posts: 193
7/9/13 12:44 A

I read today, somewhere on SP, that women who strength train actually tend to lose weight compared to men who bulk up. Has to do with our hormones. Getting stronger will only do you good. Yes, don't forget cardio. And varying your types of cardio is also wise. Be happy with yourself and you won't care what others think. That comes with age too, I'm an old fart, I don't care what my mother thinks of me. She doesn't like me anyway. I'm a lesbian democrat, ooooh! Evil! Ha ha, poor mother. Gotta laugh! I wish you the best! You can do it!



MOMMY2_4
SparkPoints: (13,038)
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Posts: 1,310
7/8/13 10:24 P

I am so anxious to start losing weight, but it is constantly one thing after another and in the end nothing gets lost, except my willpower..
I want to start off with small steps like 5 at a time, and then I will feel like I have done something good.



KOOKIEDOO15
SparkPoints: (7,834)
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Posts: 44
7/8/13 7:29 P

Togemon: My height is between 5'7.5-5'8

And thanks guys! I do want to lose some of the weight just to reach the goal size but I think toning's good too. I've been doing some light weight lifting though I'm not sure about my cardio (I have an exercise bike at home which I use for 60 minutes) though I'm considering adding jogging/running since my townhouse complex has a gym with a treadmill.



HEALTHYFOREVER4
SparkPoints: (20,123)
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Posts: 234
7/8/13 6:03 P

I understand wanting to please your mother. When I was a teenager, my mother used to scoff at my weight loss attempts, and finally one day, she told me that I would never, ever look fit and skinny like I wanted to, so I should focus on something else. She said some people just cannot look like that.

Well, she's clearly wrong. All over this site are stories of people who started out heavier than I did, who now look very, very toned, fit, and skinny. And I will get there. She is not the reason, but in the back of my mind, I do like to think about dancing around in front of her when I finally get there, screaming "ha, ha!" like a teenage girl.

All that being said, I'm glad to hear you want to do this for yourself, and that your mother's issues aren't your primary motivation. I send the poster who said you should focus on ST. Don't leave out cardio, but try to increase your muscle mass through strength training. Toning up may be all you need.



PERFECTVELVET
SparkPoints: (57,870)
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Posts: 6,282
7/8/13 5:25 P

Since you don't need to lose pounds, perhaps you should focus on toning. Strength training can give the illusion of you looking thinner because you're converting fat to muscle, plus it'll give you some nice definition.



TOGEMON
Posts: 244
7/8/13 5:05 P

How tall are you? I'm about your weight, and I'm a size 12 to 14, depending on the pants. I'm 5'4" tall though, so my healthy weight is a bit lower than I am now. If you're taller than that, you may just be at a healthy weight for you.



KOOKIEDOO15
SparkPoints: (7,834)
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Posts: 44
7/8/13 4:23 P

Okay, so far, for around 3-5 years of my life, I've been insecure about my weight and yo-yo dieting like it's going out of style. The funny thing is, my weight fluctuates in only one size. A size eight. My heaviest, I fit a size eight (if I tuck in my stomach enough), and my lowest (size eight a little more loose but not yet a size 6) I'm still a size 8.

It annoys me because my mom considers a size 8 overweight and since I spent my years trying to please her, it sucks that when I feel I'm close, I end up binging and saying I'll start over the next day leading to more weight gain.

I'm currently between 148-151 (though I think I'm bloating since I've started drinking diet soda regularly) So anyway, I just want a clear advice on how to stick to my goal of finally getting to a size 6. (A size I've been dreaming of attaining since my teen years 6 years ago)

I know it's shallow of me to wish for a size 6 when clearly I'm at a normal weight, but I want to do this for myself (I want to wear my dresses without looking in the mirror thinking that I'm too chubby for it, I want to go out wearing shorts and skirts with more confidence rather than thinking that my legs are too big to be shown) The bonus of my mom finally not commenting on my weight would be good too.

Edited by: KOOKIEDOO15 at: 7/8/2013 (19:26)


 
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