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DAFFY7474 SparkPoints: (144)
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4/9/14 9:31 A

We are going through this right now. My daughter is 12 and in 6th grade. She has ADHD and does not have many friends. It's a small district, so she's gone to school with the same group of kids since kindergarten.

This year they are all about 'bothering' her. They aren't calling her names, they're not physically abusing her, but they are deliberately irritating her - they will ask her incessant, inane questions "are your pants blue? do you like cookies? is your name X?" Because of her ADHD she has a low frustration tolerance and would try to do the right thing and ask them to stop, but when they wouldn't, she would push them, or kick their chair, and then she would be sent down to the principal.

I don't have an answer - things have gotten a bit better, but just last night someone went into her locker (combination lock) and took out her backpack. She came home with out it and told me what happened. I notified the principal immediately who went and found it in a garbage can. Today I went in and had her locker combination changed and discussed having her switch lockers. At a minimum this is ammunition that there is a bullying issue, but the first thing the principal said was "well, kids sometimes leave their lockers open and this doesn't mean she was targeted." ARE YOU KIDDING ME???

I really hope that things get better. As the other commenter said, I'm hopeful that by high school things relax a bit. Good luck!!

TCOOLEY412 Posts: 100
3/25/14 8:11 P

I was when my son was in middle school. I started keeping a journal, I wrote down EVERYTHING that happened to my son over the course of two week. He was told to report anything that another student did that made him uncomfortable to the school security officer. Then to let me know after school. After two weeks I called the school security officer to ask him if he had done anything about these reports. He said no even though overall it was just one kid who was bullying my son. I told him that I was keeping a diary and that if ANYTHING happened to my son I was going to the local media and a lawyer. The kid who was causing trouble was slightly disciplined after that (a lot of warnings never any actual punishment). But the kid backed off a little.

The other thing that happened was my son was in band and the kids were doing group projects creating music. DS was making horse noises as part of the song when a girl who name sounded like neighing turned around and slapped my son "because he was picking on her". No warning, no asking him to stop. Just hit him two other kids witnessed it. DS was given detention get this...for bullying her. She was not disciplined at all for hitting him. To this day I believe his discipline was because I threatened them.

Now, DS is a junior in high school which is so much better. As a whole HS kids are better at dealing with people who have different interests. DS has found a group where he fits. But the funniest thing is the boy who bullied him in middle school is now a friend. NOT a good friend but someone who talks to him and they joke (nicely) with each other.

FENWAYGIRL18 Posts: 5,868
3/25/14 5:54 P

Do you know that if your child doesn't fall into certain categories such as:
1. having a disability
2. racism
3. or sexual orientation (gay , lesbian or transgender)
That there is really nothing a parent can do????? That your at the mercy of the school system, I know because my son has had 2 threats made against him and I've called EVERYWHERE and was told that a child like mine that doesn't fall into any of those categories falls through the cracks.
So a child can bully your son/daughter and pretty much get away with it , if the bully doesn't like the clothes he/she is wearing , hairdo, anything if they don't fall under those categories oh well??????
how many more parents are in this same boat as me?

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