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I want to die



 
 
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HONEY777
Posts: 185
7/19/12 8:10 A

Oh Jenny, your profile pic has an image of a cross, so I believe that YOU believe!
Pick up your 2 babies and look at them. As you hold them they will look up to you for everything they need in life but what they need most from you is your LOVE. As others have said there is so much help for people with all kinds of issues, take one step at a time. Look up towards heaven, just say "God help me today". Look on line and see all the help you can get starting with SparkPeople!!!!
God Bless You Jenny, you and your family.
Louise



BETHARDS
SparkPoints: (5,611)
Fitness Minutes: (9,210)
Posts: 189
7/19/12 1:18 A

Great advice from great spark people!



ENVY45
Posts: 4
7/18/12 11:29 P

Pray Jenny, GOD always listens. This feeling will go away. Just open your heart to the Lord and he will help you. He will give you peace and strength to carry you through these hard times. Don't ever give up. Keep moving forward. I hope you are better today. You are worth more than you think. Love yourself.



GIZMOGIRL622
SparkPoints: (57,510)
Fitness Minutes: (14,724)
Posts: 45,440
7/18/12 10:09 P

Jenny,

I know this is coming a bit later than what you posted, but please, please, PLEASE call the hotlines or 911 or someone who can help you. Like one of the other posters said, you are so much more than the number on the tags of your clothes or what the scale says. You may not know all of us posting personally, but I know from personal experience that sometimes the kindness of those we don't know is amazing and inspiring. So, please know that there are so many people who do care about you and want to help.

Please take care of yourself, and let us know how you're doing. I, along with many others, are praying for you!!!

Hugs,
Jamie



ATHENA1966
Posts: 2,025
7/18/12 9:11 P

If you have not already done so call a suicide hotline or anyone and get some help. Please nothing is worth taking your life. A friend of mine committed suicide 3 days ago and I cannot even begin to tell you the pain that I ,her family and others are experiencing. This is one of the worst if things I have ever been through. I don't want to make this about me, because I care about what happens to you. Please, get some help. Nothing is worth your life. Tell someone now.



BETHS60
Posts: 547
7/18/12 3:54 P

Please get help. You feel terrible right now, but things will change.

There is pain in the past. There is anxiety about the future. You have a moment right now, and you can get through this moment. Use this moment to take a deep breath and make a phone call.



ALTEREGGO
Posts: 2
7/18/12 1:48 P

Jenny,
I'm so sorry to hear that you are feeling worthless & overwhelmed but thank you for sharing. I've fought depression and self hatred for years and it helps to know that others feel this way too sometimes. One of the things I'm realizing is how much this awfulness is about rage and hurt. While I don't like feeling like I'm a victim, having a limited time pity party sometimes helps me. The conclusion I find is that I have a hard time feeling and dealing with my feelings. I actually have to make time to do this because I hate being public about it.

What I would also like to share is that I know that if I met you I would not agree with how you view yourself - we need to be our own best friends (as hard as that is to learn). Something happen to teach us that we should blame ourselves for everything. Well reality is you can't control or be responsible for everything. Let all of the stuff you can't control go and know that you are helping me by being here.

Hugs - B



LOVEXAVIE
SparkPoints: (25,633)
Fitness Minutes: (24,556)
Posts: 1,835
7/18/12 12:40 P

Jenny,

Absolutely do NOT employ a permanent "solution" for a temporary problem.

I am so sorry you are having an awful time now but it WILL pass if you hang in there. Things NEVER stay the same - good, bad or whatever - life is constantly changing. Where you are now is NOT where you'll be a year from now, a month from now or even a week from now.

I don't know who those adorable babies on are your Spark page but I can tell you this:they NEED you. So do your parents! And lots of other people! If nothing else gets through to you, stick around for THEM.

This applies to all of us: our lives isn't JUST about us! Even more so once we've had kids.

Jenny, my favorite all time movie (makes me ball every time I see it) is It's a Wonderful Life.
Precisely for the message I want YOU to take: every one of us can and does make a difference. You may not see it all the time, but it's there.

YOU MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN THIS WORLD, JENNY.

Don't forget that nor treat it lightly.

Please get the help you deserve.

Holding you in God's thought,
lovexavie



ARCHIMEDESII
SparkPoints: (131,225)
Fitness Minutes: (198,315)
Posts: 19,557
7/18/12 7:36 A

Jenny ! NO !!! You are LOVED and BELOVED !!! Suicide is not the answer. Please call that hotline number if you feel totally overwhelmed.

You're being much too hard on yourself. I know weight loss seems daunting. It seems like you'll never lose weight. BUT that is just not true !! You can lose weight. You can become a healthier person, but it's not going to happen overnight. Change really does take time.

That's why you can't beat yourself up because you're not losing fast enough. Do you need inspiration to help you lose ? Have you read INDYGIRLs story ? If anyone had a long road to travel, it was her. At her highest weight, she weighed over 460+ pounds ! She didn't give up. In two years, she's lost over 220+ pounds !

If she can do it. So can you ! Check out her blogs. She's truly inspirational. Read this blog. read her experience. You are not alone !!!

www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_
individual.asp?blog_id=4967136


emoticon



CHRISTINASP
Posts: 1,856
7/18/12 7:10 A

((((((((((Jenny)))))))))
These are very down feelings talking. I looked at your sparkpage and I will remind you of something you said there: "Love being you". We were created unique. You too are unique. No one has your eyes, your hands or feet, no one has your heart, your talent OR your difficulties.
Don't compare yourself to others. Other people may seem very succesfull but they are not in your shoes. Just be you and look at what YOU need and what you can do for yourself today. Please just figure out one or two small things you can do for yourself today, Even if it's only taking a ten minute walk.

Please just make a few friends here at Sparkpeople and come on here frequently, read their blogs, write a bit about your life in your own blog and you can get some support. May you find hope.
love, Christina





SLIMMERKIWI
SparkPoints: (111,974)
Fitness Minutes: (31,780)
Posts: 20,419
7/18/12 6:48 A

I can only reiterate what has already been said ....
PLEASE make that call!

Depression CAN be treated - you CAN feel like a person again - I have been there including the not wanting to live. Sometimes it is just a case of adjusting our meds - I notice that you belong to the Thyroid team - it may be that your medication for that needs to be adjusted! Only a Dr can help you medically - don't give up on yourself and risk setting your children up with a life of depression because you are letting the beast called Depression win - fight it and fight it with all your might! You WILL be glad you did - I know I am and so are millions of others.

Take care and no that WE care!!
Kris xx



ANSWRGAL
SparkPoints: (7,041)
Fitness Minutes: (3,386)
Posts: 41
7/17/12 10:33 P

Jenny,

Please call someone asap. 911 or you can go to the local hospital!

You are valuable, as you can see from the many comments urging you to not give up!!!



CADBURYBUNNY
Posts: 24
7/17/12 9:56 P

I have been there. Your kids love you, and im sure they need their mom. Try to look up and stay positive. Sorry your feeling this way, hun. Please try to be positive.



SP_COACH_NANCY
SparkPoints: (158,833)
Fitness Minutes: (112,042)
Posts: 46,222
7/17/12 9:54 P

Jenny,

You are more than a number on the scale and a size on the tag of an article of clothing. If you are really thinking about hurting yourself, you may want to contact your doctor for a referral to a counselor to help you through this tough time. If you are in a state of depression and want to harm yourself, please call 1-800-273-8255, call 911, or a local crisis line in your community, if you prefer.

It took me over 30 years to finally beat the beast but in all honesty, I still struggle from time to time over 4 years after reaching my goal weight, but I know that healthy living is a lifestyle and it isn't always easy when we are bombarded with stress and food day in and day out. You do not have to have a perfect life to live a healthy lifestyle. Even if you had a not so healthy breakfast or lunch does not mean you can't enjoy a healthy dinner.

This journey is one you will always be on, but know that with time it is manageable.

Coach Nancy

Edited by: SP_COACH_NANCY at: 7/17/2012 (22:00)

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ZORBS13
SparkPoints: (88,335)
Fitness Minutes: (90,692)
Posts: 12,697
7/17/12 9:54 P

please call a suicide hotline in your area, or 911.



JENNY9211
Posts: 51
7/17/12 9:45 P

Hi aim so tired of not being able to stick with anything . Every time I start something it blows up in my face. I dont know what else to do. I don't take care of myself . I don't even care. I'm just so disgusted with myself. I should probably just overdose on something and die. I know that sounds selfish and stupid and I would be leaving behind my husband and 2 beautiful kids. I just can't do it anymore.



 
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