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I need help with arguing alot with my husband



 
 
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SLIMMERKIWI
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Posts: 21,117
1/12/13 2:35 A

Hi DANCINGLADY4 - it sounds to me like you both might benefit from relationship counseling. You both need to be able to work things out in a safe environment and this is where a counselor comes in very handy. If voices start to get a bit raised or insults start, they are very good at steering the conversation back to the issues.

Does your husband have worries, e.g. work? financial? health? Maybe it may be worth HIM having a medical to see that everything is as it should be. Do YOU have worries that could be contributing to the issue? A medical might be beneficial for you, too!

My husband always complained that I was bitching at him and "KNEW" what I was thinking, bit I was just talking to him how I normally spoke to anyone else, and as far as my 'thinking' was concerned, he was more often than not waaaaayyy off base! I think it might be a 'men' thing :-(

As far as your son is concerned, do you like him to shower EVERY day? If so, what would happen if he showered every second day, or 3 times a week (unless he has been playing and got obviously grubby.) Of course, that doesn't mean not having a wash! A lot of people don't/can't shower every day - I am one! The reason is because my skin is extremely dry and the frequent showering makes it worse, even with moisturizer. and it leads to painful rashes. Our Public Health provide caregivers for personal cares including showers to the elderly. for those who NEED the assistance. Generally it is only 1-3 showers per week, and that is when there is often bladder/bowel leakage. Worse problems then they can generally get more frequent showers.

Where it comes to enforcing your wishes, pick them wisely. Be prepared for give and take. To discover whether it is worth standing your ground ask yourself this: "What would happen if I let it go?" (give in) If the answer is nothing, then let it go! Even tho' they are our children, we don't have to be totally 'boss' to them. I always encouraged my children to use their brains and analyze things themselves. That way they learned independence at a young age, and I knew that I could trust them to make good decisions.

Even tho' this may not be what you were hoping to hear, I hope that it helps!

Take care,
Kris



DANCINGLADY4
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1/11/13 4:03 P

Hi thanks for the advice, I should mention that I do have hearing problems and wear a hearing aid which doesn't help all of the time. He did say he would get help with me on our problems. He doesn't nag me about my weight it's other things. Just mostly the way I talk he says I talk to him like he's a kid but sometimes I feel like he is one. I don't mean to talk to him like that but he thinks I do. Thansk



ARCHIMEDESII
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1/11/13 3:04 P

DANCINGLADY4,

Have you had a chance to sit down and talk to your husband about your hearing problem ? Does he know you've been having difficulty hearing ? If not, you have to tell him or he will think something is wrong. Have you also talked to your doctor ? I'm also going to encourage you to talk to your doctor about your recent hearing problems. See what they say. have them take a look. Who knows, it could be something as simple as wax buildup or you may need a hearing aid. Either way, talk to your doctor to get some help.

And if you have been having problems talking to your husband, would he consider counseling ? If he's been nagging you about your weight, you're right. You won't change overnight and nagging isn't going to sped up the process. Also, if he is bothering you about your weight, then there is something deeper going on. Which is why I wonder if he'd consider talking to a professional.

One thing I've learned is that for a relationship to thrive, there has to be open lines of communication. Have you tried to sit and talk with him about the issues you've been having ? That's where I'd start. I'd start by having a good long rational talk about what's been happening in your relationship these last few weeks or however long these problems have been occurring.





DANCINGLADY4
SparkPoints: (801)
Fitness Minutes: (38)
Posts: 23
1/11/13 2:54 P

Lately it seems like we r fighting too much and over little things it's fine when it's just the kids and I, but when I am with my husband which who I love alot we seem to be mad back and forth. He thinks I'm yelling when I'm talking a little loud because I can't hear very well and he gets after me lately. I've been trying to change I told him it's not going to happen over night, or even a few months. I hate it when I try to talk to him about things and he laughs and it doesn't seem to matter how I feel. It's happened too much lately and then I get stressed out and want to eat junk. I'm trying really hard not to but it's getting close I don't know what to do. Same when the kids won't listen to me my 9 year old begs me not to have him do something like take a shower and get ready for school. Or he will say I hate taking showers in the morning, I said I told u to take one last night. But he kept on begging me so I said we aren't going to do anything fun this weekend. So he begs me to give him another chance. When that happens I get mad and start to yell at him and want to eat crap but I don't want to be that person anymore. Any ideas would be nice emoticon



 
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