I learned the hard way that people don't want your help unless they ask for it, an unsolicited advice is not well received. Last time I approached my morbidly obese mother about eating healthier I was told I was a know it all so and so and I could go take a flying leap. She didn't talk to me for ages after that.
In short, you have to let the adults in your life make their own choices. It sucks, and it is hard to sit back and watch them slowly kill themselves, but in my experience trying to help only makes things hard on your relationship with them.
There are no shortcuts. No magic bullets. No secret spells. What works is hard work, dedication, and a daily dose of chocolate.
Since he's had ongoing health issues, is he still under the care of his doctor, or at least visiting his doctor on a regular basis?
It sounds like he has no idea what "healthy" means, and no matter what you tell him (if it contradicts what he "knows") will be "wrong". I'm hoping that even if he doesn't listen to people around him (because what do they know), he would at least have the sense to listen to a medical professional. Please contact his doctor to explain your concerns, and see if they can't help him with this. They won't be able to tell you his medical history or what they've already discussed, but they can take your concerns and discuss with him.
Do something everyday that your future self will thank you for.
It is really hard to get men to listen, they are very stubborn lol. The first step in learning how you should eat is learning how your body works. Maybe if he understood more about how the body's survival mechanisms work, he may realize that eating once a day will cause him to gain instead of lose. Is there a way you could get him to read a book or an article? Has he spoken with any doctors? Surely he has had to with all the close calls and surgeries. Just try not to "attack his diet." Instead try to find a way to get him to figure out that what he is doing is actually counter productive by getting him to read something about how food and your body work. I am sorry I can't be more of a help. Trust me I understand where your coming from when you have someone you really care about getting older and doing things to their bodies that you know is harming them, except in my case it is alcohol that is stealing away my loved one.
- Most of the shadows of this life are caused by us standing in our own sunshine. Ralph Waldo Emerson
- When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us. Helen Keller
Jacob 11-14-07 Aliviah 10-15-12 ~ My world~
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So my dad is on roller -coaster diet number 860... literally. As long as I can remember he has yo-yo dieted.
Well now, he is 65, extrememly over weight (probably close to 380 pounds). He has had multiple surgeries for Anuerisms and had a pace maker installed 2 years ago. So being healthy is something I hope that he will finally take seriously.
Anyway, I know that he is "eating Healthier" at least that is what he has told me. In explaining the salad that his wife makes him, I told him to be careful because she is putting A LOT of calories onto the salad. He then told me it is okay, since that is all that he is eating. So me thinking he is eating 3 of these salads a day, I am worried.
But no... apparently he only eats 1 time a day and a huge salad at that. I tried explaining that it isn't healthy, that it will actually cause more damage than good. I know that all he heard was "blah, blah, blah".
I am trying to get him make a life style change not some stupid crash diet that he can only stick to for a few weeks, until he goes totally off the deep end...
Any suggestions on how to best help him understand, that what he is doing is not healthy?
-Lisa Every accomplishment begins with a decision to try!
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