Author: Sorting Last Post on Top Message:
GLENDA2013 SparkPoints: (2,546)
Fitness Minutes: (1,565)
Posts: 61
2/25/13 8:04 P

Rebcca: Thank you for the link to the article. Although I didn't feel the contract would work for me, it did lead me to the articles by Dean about what motivation is. I learned that my goal shouldn't be to lose weight but to make better choices, one choice at a time and the weight will take care of itself. I read it twice and will read it again. Is there a way to save that so I can find it easier next time I need it. thank you.

STARDUST2K4 Posts: 1,346
2/25/13 7:35 P

I agree with others that there isn't always a traumatic reason for weight gain or self sabotage. One thing I'm interested in knowing though: You say that every single time you hit 15 pounds lost, you automatically sabotage. I wonder if because you've done it so many times that you're just automatically expecting it, so you're not letting yourself get below 15 pounds lost?

If that is the case, I would suggest staying on program and not weighing yourself for a couple months. That way, if you do lose 15 pounds, you won't 'know' about it, and therefore won't sabotage yourself.

GLENDA2013 SparkPoints: (2,546)
Fitness Minutes: (1,565)
Posts: 61
2/25/13 7:27 P

Thank you everyone for your ideas and advice, I will consider each and every one. I did manage to have a pretty good day. I put my husband on the program with me today, maybe helping him will help me.

BEANBYDESIGN SparkPoints: (31,282)
Fitness Minutes: (36,402)
Posts: 1,021
2/25/13 12:05 P

Glenda, self-sabotage doesn't have to be triggered by a traumatic experience in childhood - I know that's common on BL, but I think that's more because, when the producers are selecting contestants, they look for dramatic back stories because it makes for better television. That said, there IS a reason you self-sabotage. You don't just do it for the heck of it. You are getting SOMETHING out of staying the way you are - it could be that you're shy and the weight is protective (it allows you to fade into the background), it could be that you use the weight as an excuse to avoid trying things that scare you, it could be that you use the weight as a way of excusing or justifying failures in other areas of your life, it could be that being overweight is part of the story you tell yourself about who you are and you're intimidated at the thought of having to become "a different person" if you lose the weight, it could be that you are in a relationship with someone you really love that is built on unhealthy habits and you're scared you'll lose that person if you give up those habits... the possibilities are almost endless. These feelings don't need to be triggered by childhood traumas, they can just be part of the way we're wired, or the result of our life experiences (both good and bad experiences).

If you are truly at a point where you (a) can't stop yourself from self-sabotaging; and (b) can't figure out what it is that you're getting out of being overweight that's causing you to self-sabotage, you may want to consider looking for a therapist to help you work through it. Therapy doesn't have to be some big, dramatic, long-term thing - you can call on a therapist in any situation where you're engaging in a behavior you don't like and don't know why or how to stop yourself from doing it. An extremely close, insightful friend or family member could maybe also help you figure it out, but I find that friends and family tend to have their own agendas (good and bad) and aren't as helpful in sorting this kind of stuff out as a neutral professional.

LOVELYINATX22 SparkPoints: (1,144)
Fitness Minutes: (235)
Posts: 12
2/25/13 10:48 A

Hi Glenda,
First, I want you to know that I am right there with you! I know this feeling and this same thing happens to me often! I think the main and most important thing you can do is to stay positive about it. Know that you are the one in control and you are the one making your decisions. WW and SparkPeople have filled us with knowledge, we now know that we CAN lose the weight and we know exactly how to do it. So the next part is just staying motivated and staying positive. Everytime I fall, I can feel the effects on my body. I feel bloated, I feel horrible, I feel slugish, and I don't like it. But until my mind decides to step up and take over, I just stay fallen. Then the day comes when my mind stands up and I decide to get back up. As long as you keep making that decision to stand back up, you're doing fine! This is a journey, there will be ups and downs. It's how you take those ups and downs that will determine your journey. Don't let the down parts keep you down. Use them as learning tools. You are in control of your journey but you're not alone...you have the greatest support group on here who will walk beside you and cheer you on! I am always here for support if you need!

Best of luck to you!!

REBCCA SparkPoints: (270,662)
Fitness Minutes: (158,328)
Posts: 20,585
2/25/13 10:38 A

Hello Glenda,

How about writing a contract with yourself, dated and signed with the things you will do to reach your goals. The idea that you would keep a contract if you made it with someone else should mean you will keep a contract you make with yourself. I have successfully utilized this in the past. Hope it works for you too!

Here is a more detailed description:
www.sparkpeople.com/resource/motivation_ar
ticles.asp?id=748


AREEJ_R SparkPoints: (25,226)
Fitness Minutes: (23,889)
Posts: 2,340
2/25/13 3:25 A

I KNOW YOUR FEELING BECAUSE I DROP THE WEIGHT AND GAIN IT AGAIN
I NEVER REACH MY GOAL WEIGHT
BUT THIS TIME IS DIFFERENT FOR ME
THERE IS NO MORE TIME TO WASTE IT IN ILLNESS AND LAZINESS
I WANT TO ENJOY EVERY MOMENT IN THE LIFE
I DESERVE THAT AND I AM WORTHY
I STILL SABOTAGE MYSELF SOME TIMES BUT I KEEP REMIND MYSELF WHY I NEED THIS
WHAT I WILL LOSE IF I GIVE UP

I IMAGINE MYSELF IN THE END OF A LONG PATH , AND PUSH MYSELF TO GET THERE TO THE FINISH LINE

IN THIS JOURNEY BELIEVE OR NOT (EVEN WITH THE SUPPORT) YOUR ARE A LONE

YOU THE ONLY ONE WILL HELP YOURSELF , ITS FOR YOU
ITS YOUR LIFE AND YOUR BODY , HOW DO YOU WANT IT TO BE?




GLENDA2013 SparkPoints: (2,546)
Fitness Minutes: (1,565)
Posts: 61
2/24/13 9:59 P

I need to understand why I sabotage myself all the time. I start a diet, or even just start looking after myself and eating healthy. I lose 15 pounds and then BAM. I fall of program. Doesnt matter what program or how long it took me, as soon as I hit 15 I start to sabotage myself. I was doing weight watchers on line and was doing great for 10 pounds, joined Sparkpeople, lost another 5 and now I'm right there again. I have gained 3 pounds this week. I feel so proud of myself one day and then it goes out the window the next and I cant get it back. Is it possible that I suffer from withdrawl symptoms. I watch BiggestLoser and I try to think of something tramatic that happened to me, but there is nothing, I had a very happy childhood. I think I have lost this 15 pounds a hundred times. Any thoughts and advice would be really appreciated. Thanks.

Page: 1 of (1)  




Other Staying Motivated Topics:

Topics: Last Post:
Logging in every day 9/24/2013 1:31:27 PM
2 weeks maintaining... 7/15/2013 8:01:56 AM
Need Motivational Kick-Start! 8/7/2013 8:55:15 AM
Finding Time to Exercise 6/11/2013 8:25:19 AM
losing exercise partner 5/10/2013 4:02:59 PM

Diet Resources: walking route distance calculator | find a walking route | measure a walking route