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BLUENOSE63 SparkPoints: (101,558)
Fitness Minutes: (76,885)
Posts: 2,953
7/16/13 8:07 A

Losing yourself is quite easy to do......I find that we get so wrapped up with our kids activities etc, we forget to take time for ourselves. I changed that about 5 years ago and my life is much fuller as a result.

GUDDIGO Posts: 1,081
7/14/13 1:37 P

I have always been so and so's daughter, so and so' wife and so and so's mother

PATTI7177 Posts: 365
7/13/13 10:19 P

My ex husband's family had an auto shop for years and I loved it! My daughter was five months pregnant and still climbing under cars to work on them. Follow your dreams and be happy!

LATINSTARLITE Posts: 67
7/13/13 8:24 P

You are so very insightful! Thank you. I am going to look into some volunteer opportunities in my area. I'm sure it will be very fulfilling. I've discussed a few ideas with my husband that I am going to check into. One of them being auto body work. I know that might sound nuts. I kind of liked the idea of working on cars when I was young and in my first marriage. I was discouraged from this idea back then because I was rather small and was told that I would not have the physical strength necessary to do it. Even now, on the rare occasion that I watch TV, I am completely enthralled with restoration shows, Like Overhaulin, wheeler dealer, and counting cars. I don't know. that crazy idea actually popped into my head about a week or so ago. But I've kind of avoided talking about it because I thought it was an absurd idea. But... maybe not???

FENWAYGIRL18 Posts: 5,855
7/13/13 8:06 P

You said you love love love talking to people I think it would be awesome if you volunteered at a nursing home or a VA hospital where people would appreciate your personality and your gift for gab. These people are so lonely (nursing home) they wait in their doorways for people to pass by just to say hi to it's just pitiful.
I bet you'd get just as much out of it knowing you made someone's day just by being your friendly self and made a difference in someones life.


JANIEWWJD SparkPoints: (240,261)
Fitness Minutes: (208,000)
Posts: 7,343
7/13/13 7:08 P

I've been through that already. It's hard, but you go on and recover the "ME" in Mommy.

CAMEOSUN SparkPoints: (81,097)
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Posts: 10,110
7/13/13 7:04 P

Volunteering at your local Sr. Center or Elder care facility is a good idea. Also, had you thought of volunteering to coach a sport team for kids? Our community is always in need of coaches and this could network you to other opportunities. You mentioned a Nail business, you could start your own. I'm sure when you step out there, things will line up for you.

PATTI7177 Posts: 365
7/13/13 6:29 P

I married and had kids young, very young. Then I was a stay at home mom for 25 years. When my youngest started high school, I started substitute teaching. I found myself drawn to exceptional student education. In 2008, I started college, went from a sub to a paraprofessional, then also got a job with the ARC- this is definitely my niche. I now have a Bachelor's degree and am looking for a teaching job. It is never too late to change what you are doing. Even now, if you give one thing a try and get bored-change it! We are never stuck in one job or situation. Life is what you make of it and take from it.

LATINSTARLITE Posts: 67
7/13/13 6:25 P

I so wish I had the love of reading that so many people I know and meet seem to have. I read when I have to. To learn something I'm curious about or instructions on putting something together. Other than that... eh. I believe it goes back to my elementary days. I've always had reading comprehension problems that were never really resolved. I remember being in a program that they called "Star", but I don't remember them really doing anything to help me. I just went to another class room with a few other students and they would sit us at our desks with stuff to read and then we would take quizzes on what we read. Seemed pretty useless to me...even then...hhahahahaaha. A friend of mine recently sent me some websites where they have some evaluations that you can take to see where your weaknesses are. Then you can sign up for workshops and such to improve in those areas. I believe the evaluations are free and I am pretty sure you have to pay for the workshops, but I don't know this for sure.

TCOOLEY412 Posts: 62
7/13/13 6:09 P

I am kind of in the same boat but I will still have two at home when my oldest heads to college in the fall. I realized a couple of years ago that I have put so much into having "good", "successful" kids that I lost me somewhere. I was working part-time at the time and knew it was not what I wanted to do, so I quit. Our budget is stretched really tight but the ends meet; being at home and having time to do the things I want to do is worth it. I have found a new hobby and spend more time reading and with friends when the kids don't need me.

I still volunteer at the high school and actually plan to do so even when my kids are gone because I like it so much.

LATINSTARLITE Posts: 67
7/13/13 5:59 P

Hahhaha. Yeah that is true. When my son was little and in preschool, the kids Loved when I came to visit. They, for some reason could not remember my name so they called me Ms Daniel's mom

HFITZ1 Posts: 68
7/13/13 5:32 P

You could also volunteer at your local elementary school. The kids love when someone comes into class! They also love to read TO the volunteer to show off. Kids who hate to sit and read will jump at the chance to read to a volunteer.

LATINSTARLITE Posts: 67
7/13/13 4:05 P

Ice I just saw your post after I replied.

Those are actually fantastic ideas. I will definitely check into that. I do live in a retirement area so I'm sure that there are plenty of people who could use some help. I especially like the idea of Habitat for Humanity. I never thought of that. I'd be delighted to go pound some nails as long as someone is willing to show me how to do it properly.

Volunteering with those who are in chemo is also another great idea. I do know how to crochet. It can be very therapeutic to those who are not able to move around much. For me, I don't do it much because I can't sit still long enough...lol

Another area I have tried is the beauty industry. I went to school for cosmetology and walked out with a Nail Tech license... lol That didn't go far though, as I could not find a job. All the places I checked into, it was either, if you weren't from their country they wouldn't hire you, and the American ran shops, if you didn't have umpteen years experience they wouldn't hire you either. It kind of baffled me because I thought, How am I supposed to gain experience if no one will hire me??? So I eventually let my license expire. I've thought about reactivating it, but I've recently found out about the severe health risks of that field, and that makes it much less appealing and kind of scary to me.

LATINSTARLITE Posts: 67
7/13/13 3:52 P

Definitely some food for thought. I do not, unfortunately, have any desire what so ever to go back to working behind a desk. Although it is something I am really good at. I have not brushed up on the newer versions of MS office, though I do own the 2010 version and it would be easy peasy for me to play with and figure out. I just don't have any interest in it.

Volunteering at an elder community might be an option for the moment, just to get me out of the house and exposed to the world again. I really would like to do something active though. I kind of think that's where my heart is taking me. I've always been a bit of a lost soul. Never really taking great interest in any one thing. This is where I falter. Everyone always asks me "What do YOU want to do" or "what do you enjoy doing" hobbies and such and the pathetic answer I have is... I don't know. I've always looked to see what other people are doing and dabbled here and dabbled there in a pretty sad and lame attempt to find where I belong. But nothing ever truly struck me as enjoyable or OOh I want to do that.

Which is why I asked here. To see what is out there. In the hopes that someone out there may have a different idea. My mom was always office work, my ex sister law worked in banking, my sister did accounting, my ex husband was into computers. I've done it all.... I did it and I did it well. Even went into the insurance sector and worked for MetLife for several years. It's just not me.

That's why I was thinking something active. I had an idea at one point when I started this journey that maybe I could do something in the fitness field. I am finding that my journey is taking me MUCH longer that I thought it would. I'm not as enthusiastic about exercising as I thought I would be at this point. But that could just me self sabotaging.

So any who, Like I said. I was just hoping to get some new and fresh ideas. I know there is a whole world of different careers out there that I just might not be aware of. I just don't feel like people were meant to be locked up in stuffy office buildings all day long, under artificial light and air. It just seems wrong to me.... lol I have no idea. I'm lost and confused without direction.

ICEDEMETER Posts: 878
7/13/13 3:51 P

I second the volunteer work idea. It's a great way to try different things to see if there is anything you'd like to go in to as paid work in future, as well as accomplishing something needful immediately.

You said that you like to work with your hands - how about seeing if Habitat for Humanity has a local store and needs someone to come in and help sort and price donations, or get out on the job site and pound some nails! Do you like gardening? Local seniors homes and hospices often can use assistance with keeping their gardens in check. Do you like animals? Then head on over to the local animal shelter and spend some time walking and playing with the animals. Maybe check with your local hospital or cancer treatment centre and see if they need volunteers to wander around and give people directions, or hand out coffee and tea, or just be an ear to listen while someone is stuck in a chair getting chemo. One of my favourite volunteers at our local cancer centre would show up with needles and wool in hand and sit and teach you how to knit during chemo - it was awesome! (Ok, I still can't knit, but that's not for her lack of trying!)

There's really no end to things that you can volunteer for, and the need for it never ends. You get the opportunity to work the hours that you like, learn a lot, and can figure out what you truly enjoy. A complete win situation!

ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (143,035)
Fitness Minutes: (214,000)
Posts: 20,982
7/13/13 2:47 P

How about going back to school and getting a degree ? If you don't have the money for college, take some classes at your local adult education center. Would you like to learn a language ? Would you like to learn to play a musical instrument ? How about joining a book club ? There are lots of different things you can do if you have the time.

Do you want to go back to work ? I'll be honest, the job market is tough right now. I was laid off for several months before I was able to find a job in my field. Right now, the only companies hiring tend to be service jobs in things like retail. So, yeah, you may be stuck working a register if you don't have any up to date skills for an office job.

If you do want to work in an office again, yes, you have to update your skills. What computer skills do you have now ? Do you know how to use MS Office ? Things like Excel, Word, Powerpoint ? If not, you'll need those skills. Most offices require their employees to be computer literate. You might try your local career center to see what classes they offer for people who've been out of work and looking as well as for those people who want to go back to work.

You could also do volunteer work. You could volunteer at your local church. If you do a google search in your area, I'm sure the local food pantry or soup kitchen is looking for help. You could even mentor a young person through a big sister/big brother type of organization. There are lots of charities looking for volunteers. That might be something you could do.

What is something YOU have always wanted to do ? Did you want to get a degree in music ? If so, go back and get that degree. Take art lessons. Learn a musical instrument. There really are lots of options out there for you.

Oh and if you are good talking to people, then volunteer at an elder care facility. There are lots of elderly people who've been left in these homes, I'm sure they'd enjoy having someone who'd read, talk with them or play games with them to pass the time.



Edited by: ARCHIMEDESII at: 7/13/2013 (14:48)
LATINSTARLITE Posts: 67
7/13/13 2:23 P

I know it's the name of a book. My Pastor told me to read it...lol.

But that's why I'm here. I have literally lost the Me in mommy and now that my son will be 18 soon and graduating from high school in May. I am LOST and have NO idea what to do with myself. I did not keep up with education or anything like that. I used to do administrative/accounting type office work and LOATHED every minute of it. I know I can "brush up" on my skills. But honestly, I don't want to. The thought of doing that repulses me....lol

So I am open to suggestions. I would like to do something that is going to be active. No sales.... I bark at every sales person that comes to my door step... (although this is what my husband does for a living...lol). I'm just not good at asking people to buy things. Very awkward. I don't really have any hobbies. I have interests in all kinds of things. But I love to work with my hands. I LOVE LOVE LOVE to talk to people. If I could get paid to hang out with people for a living...shoot I'd be there man! lol.


HAHAHA Anyway, suggestions..... GO!!!

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