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YADIELS_MOMMY1 SparkPoints: (87)
Fitness Minutes: (0)
Posts: 3
12/28/12 7:12 A

Preach it! I feel this exact same way about my life in general (of which my weight is a huge part). These are not silly questions you are asking yourself. It is a very legitimate fear that applies to most, if not all, battling with weight issues whether they like to admit it or not. I don't think anyone will think of you any less if you try and don't succeed. Instead I think those who truly care about you will admire your courage for even trying because it is not an easy journey. It is a VERY difficult and emotional one.

About your fears regarding your new-found confidence and your husband, that is impossible to tell. Weight loss has a HUGE impact on your confidence and just everything else around you. When you win the battle against your weight it gives you the motivation and confidence to tackle many other things in life. You begin to recognize your self worth and well if things are not in your best interest your new-found confidence will allow you to see that.

My first time ever joining Sparkpeople was because a boyfriend of mine, who used to put me down all the time about EVERYTHING (although I didn't see it that way then) told me I needed to lose weight. Well I put my all into it, not because I loved myself but because I loved him. I worked at it everyday and ate healthful foods. I eventually lost 37 lbs. and that wasn't enough for him, he'd still put me down for other things. Well it was enough for me to realize he was toxic to my confidence and well-being, so I sent him packing.

I am not, in ANY way, saying this is what will happen to you. Most people don't have such a horrible relationship like I did with that guy. Just wanted to share my experience so that you can see your fear is a very legitimate one and you shouldn't feel guilty or silly about having it. I will share a secret with you though, when I hadn't lost the weight and didn't have the confidence, losing my boyfriend seemed like it would kill me. Once I began to love myself I began to see him for what he really was and what he really did to me. My relationship with him was so crappy that, at that moment, in leaving him I felt I was gaining something.

I think you mentioned this in your post about engaging your husband in your weight loss and I think it's a very good idea. It will help having the support of your loved one and it will motivate you. It will bring you closer than ever. It will also help him see how emotional it can get for you. If anything it will even make you feel less silly and self-conscious (which is completely normal). Lets feel silly and self-conscious about overeating and not exercising, not about doing what is actually in our best interest. Let's do this thing! LOL

Wishing you the best,

Kim

By the way, I'm starting at 185 as well :(
See? You're not alone. Soooooooooooo many people are living the same exact thing! Don't be discouraged!

SP_COACH_NANCY SparkPoints: (158,833)
Fitness Minutes: (112,042)
Posts: 46,222
12/28/12 6:46 A

Hi Health,

I loved that you shared this with our members because I do believe these are thoughts many of us have had or are having at this very moment. But one thing I can say after almost 8 years on my own incredible journey is that life is going to pass me by whether I elected to stay where I was or my need to find the courage to take my own life by the reins and live the life I was meant to live. Read that I did not say perfect. Life is full of imperfections, but it is how we deal with them that allows us to become the person we are meant to be.

I wish you well!

Coach Nancy

HEALTHQUEST2013 SparkPoints: (93)
Fitness Minutes: (165)
Posts: 4
12/28/12 3:04 A

Need to vent! I pretty much know what I need to eat, when I need to eat, and how much exercise I need to do to be healthier. I feel like I've spent half my life obsessed with learning about nutrition and exercise, yet somewhere in the mix I seemed to have forgotten that I should actually be applying these things to myself!

After reading a popular book concerning weight loss (I don't want to mention the name b/c I don't want to sound like an ad), I'm starting to slowly realize that maybe somewhere deep inside of me I am afraid to be living at 100% of my potential. That if I actually live as vivaciously as I possibly can and would like to, there is a part of me that feels that either I'm not worth it or everything I know will crash and burn. It's the change that is scary to me, even though it will be POSITIVE change.

What if my husband doesn't jump on board with me and chooses to continue an unhealthy lifestyle? What if I'm not actually any good at the things I want to accomplish? Will people laugh at me for trying? Will I be so overcome by my new-found health and confidence that I decide to break off from my husband to look for continuously better and better things? Sure some of these questions may seem ridiculous, but they are thoughts that have run through my head.

I know that all the answers to these questions can only be known after I start my journey and begin LIVING my life. And I have a feeling that one day I will look back and laugh at myself for having been so scared to be happy. But right now I need to figure out which neurons in my brain need to fire off in order to get my feet moving through that door.

I really felt that I needed to share this for other people to read, because then it makes it a little more real for me. If anyone else feels the same way, please let me know! I would love to talk to more people who can identify with this. Thanks for listening!

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