I have a question for all of you

Posts: 53
5/12/11 9:51 P

i feel that way too. ive actually had dreams where i was thin and woke up thinking being fat was the dream! it was the worst morning ever when i realized thin was the actual dream!

Posts: 1,244
5/12/11 8:44 P

When I was heavy I used to pick up tiny clothes and say "yea, that'll fit" I knew I was heavier than my friends but I didn't see it as a problem. But I was always heavier, for most of my life. When I lost the weight (OK all my weight), I had the opposite feeling. I looked down in the shower and thought, "well there is my fat thigh". I find pictures are the most helpful. You can only have so many "fat" pictures before you realize that it's you. Sorry for the tough love. Acceptance is the first step toward change. We are all here because we need it and we can all do it.

did any of that make sense?

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5/12/11 5:22 P

This is a really interesting topic. I hope more people read it and give it some thought.

When I first read your post I thought, "Yep, that's me... I think of myself as a thin and fit person but I'm really not." Except, in reality, I suspect I really AM. My husband tells me on a daily basis (and I've heard from others), "You have such a skewed image of yourself."

So I was thinking about it, and he's my thought/theory. None of us "see" ourselves physically in the mirror. That is, it is impossible to detach from the fact that we ARE ourselves complete with histories and emotions and self esteem issues, etc. So, when we look in the mirror, we see all those things wrapped in one thing: size.

Those people who feel "thin, fit, attractive" when they look in the mirror may or may not be those things to an outsider, but it doesn't really matter. If they feel those things inside - it's fabulous. It's the most amazing thing. Because that's the hardest perception to change. The way you feel about yourself.

I realize there are many reasons to lose weight - really important health reasons. And I think being strong and fit can help people with confidence and self esteem and success in other areas. But for those who are forever critical of themselves and their appearance, it's unlikely losing weight will lead to the "thin, fit, attractive" feeling.

Stay beautiful!

Posts: 418
5/12/11 4:50 P

I am an attractive person but am I truly healthy...not according to my bmi. So, I am just gonna work on getting healthy.

It looks like you are off to a good start you have lost 25 pounds. That's great.

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5/12/11 3:15 P

When I was overweight (220+ pounds), I used to think I was "average". At least, I knew I needed to lose a few pounds, but I didn't consider myself overweight. I was just big boned. I wore size 14-16 pants. That's average, isn't it ? The fact is, I was morbidly obese for my height. And turns out (after losing), I'm not big boned either.

I think we all wanted the weight to be magically gone the minute we decided we needed to lose, but weight loss isn't that simple. Weight loss is a slow steady process that takes time contrary to what happens on the Biggest Loser. Those types of losses are just not typical and yet many people think they should be losing as fast as those contestants.

It's difficult to tell a person who sees someone losing 10+ pounds in a week that a safe weekly weight loss is really 1-2 pounds per week AND that they may be weeks they don't lose. So yes, not having an immediate loss can be very frustrating.

But you know what ? If you keep up with your healthy habits, you will see change with time. As the coaches all say,"trust the process". Also, you have to understand that this isn't a diet. it's a lifestyle change. You're trying to change habits learned over a life time. That's not going to happen overnight, a week, a month or even a year.

You can and will lose the weight, but you must be patient with yourself and your body. Change takes time.

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5/12/11 1:53 P

When I was 306lbs, I didn't have any hope of lossing weight, I asked the dietitian taking the meetings to make me feel satisified when I ate.. I didn't think I could get the weight off but if they could help me slow down putting on weight I could accept this second best..

The last laugh was on me, I got encouragement to return from getting results feeling satisfied.. I just wish I learned plate composition years back, and the fact a kitchen scales is alot harder to cheat with then measuring with the eye..

I also found out I will never be 110lbs ballerina, I have alot of muscle mass too so I work my butt of in the gym and improve my muscles lol... If my back wasn't so iffy I would go for power lifting..





Edited by: REDSHOES2011 at: 5/12/2011 (13:56)

Posts: 1,818
5/12/11 8:57 A

When I was pushing 300 pounds I felt like I "could stand to lose a few". Now here I am at 205, running 45 miles per week, just slightly off a healthy BMI and I feel really fat. I don't really trust my feelings on this matter.

What I do is try and take the "feeling" part out of the equation. I know we can't really do that, but I focus more on the data and try to work towards good numbers since the numbers don't lie. My blood work is good (HDL, LDL and triglycerides), blood pressure is back to normal (formerly hypertensive) etc.

Pick a number, any number (weight for example) and make a few small decisions to see what you can do to improve that number.

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5/11/11 8:10 P

Hi There -

Thanks for sharing so honestly about your feelings. When I was very obese I still saw myself as the athlete I was in high school. It took me well over two years to drop 95 lbs but spark helped me do that.

Have you read The Spark? If not, I would encourage you to do that. Logging in here and working the steps taught me how to deal with the ups and downs of life without turning to food.

In the end I think I got the version of me that I remembered in my head. It took a lot of long hard work but in the end it was well worth the effort. Good Luck! You can do this!

Posts: 1,861
5/11/11 7:28 P

You are not alone. I still have the image in my head of me when I was 17 and a size 12. I think that's the smallest weight I remember being at (not counting as a child) and I *think* I was around 200 pounds. So when I visualize an outfit, Its on that body. When I think of an event, That body is there. It didn't occur to me I was a different size until shopping for a bridesmaid dress for my sisters wedding- when I cried in the dressing room because the store only had sample size 7s and nothing fit and it felt horrible.

I've realized there are 3 types of people on Spark:

Type 1: You see yourself as a skinny person
Type 2: You see yourself as you actually are (rarest of the 3)
Type 3: You see yourself carrying an extra 100 plus pounds of fat on your body.

You and I seem to be type 1. While I think this is a good thing, we need to accept where our body's actually are and uses these mental images of ourselves as goals and guides as apposed to where we are.

Don't worry, you're okay. I think this is normal

I think the reason why you're having trouble sticking to losing weight might be a comfort zone thing. It took a lot for me to be able to work out in public simply because I was afraid of people watching me screw up moves and it took a lot or me to make myself realize No ones watching me.

best of luck honey.

Posts: 614
5/11/11 6:27 P

So I have had this feeling for many years but never could explain it until today when the light bulb went off in my head. I feel like a skinny/active/and attractive person stuck inside a obese/unattractive body. I feel like at any moment I could just unzip off the fat suit and be skinny but yet it never happens. I never actually stride towards being that skinny/attractive person. I always do something for a week or two and then quit and take like 5 major steps back. It never fails to happen. Why can't I just lose all the weight I need to lose and be done with being a morbidly obese person. I may not look like a morbidly obese person sometimes but I am. I have a lot of muscle so I know that contributes to my weight allot. Does anyone else feel this way? Or is it just me?