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JOSEBINE SparkPoints: (91)
Fitness Minutes: (0)
Posts: 5
8/8/13 3:20 P

Thank you all for your support and advice. :) (sorry my message is long :()

I had a very bad day yesterday with hardly any sleep and my emotions run very high when that happens. Having PCOS, Menopause and now Sleep Apnea really wreaks havoc on my body (not to mention my emotions).

I just moved back home from being away for work for 3 years. At the present time, I am living at my MOL's house and have been there for the last 3 months. This has been extremely difficult on me as I like eating at certain times and also specific foods. She does not understand this and wants to please her son who finishes work a lot later than I do. Eating late is certainly not helpful to my situation. She is a night owl and doesn't care if she eats dinner at 8. I have to get up at 6 in the morning so eating late then going to bed an hour or two after is difficult physically for me.

Thank GOD this situation will change next week as I am moving into a place of my own and will finally be able to do what I need to do to help myself. Her dietary views are one of a 75 yr old lady who's thin as a rake and never needed to watch what she ate. She always has desert on hand and cooks mostly with carbs and although she thinks adding veggies to a meal makes it healthy, I prefer fresh to canned, and prefer to not have the same kind of veggies most of the time. She doesn't add much flavour to meals as she needs to be low sodium, which I respect, but low sodium does not need to be low in flavour as well. Bland is not for me LOL

Although I respect the person, and am very grateful to have had a place to stay without costs, I am looking forward to having my own place, space and way of living. Nothing against anyone, just a fact of life that we are all different and that's ok. :)

Next week, big changes will come in my life, and I am looking forward to them all (good and bad). I tend to be more realistic than anything. I don't try to be negative, but not only positive either. Life is full of good and bad both. Not just one or the other.

I look forward to taking with you ladies again. Once more...thank you so much for your support. I hope to be in a position to do the same for any of you or someone else when the time comes.

WADINGMOOSE Posts: 1,048
8/8/13 2:56 P

Been there. I lost 17 lbs. I ran a half marathon and injured myself and fell off the wagon.

Sometimes it's easier to fall into self loathing and destructive habits because it's what we know. And change is hard. Really hard. And change doesn't happen all at once, it's a process. And it's a process where sometimes you're going to want to give up. And sometimes you might even give up.

But if you're back and you start again, you haven't quit.

And yeah, you regain the weight. And it sucks. Right now I'm 2 months in on this part of my journey. It is a struggle, but if you've done it before you know where to start.

WATERONE SparkPoints: (96,566)
Fitness Minutes: (87,023)
Posts: 1,912
8/8/13 2:35 P

I know where you are and I've been there. Hating where I was got me back to Sparkpeople a few weeks ago. What has helped me the most is reading the articles on lifestyle changes and reminding myself that is what I need to do.

You are not alone. Sometimes just remembering that helps us get through.

HAPPYMENOW58 Posts: 2,264
8/8/13 1:52 P

A lot of good advice on this thread! I think sooooo many of us can relate.......If it was easy, we'd all be thin! That is why this website is sooo great.....We know we are not alone! Staying positive with my attitude is the thing that helps me the most!

DROPCONE Posts: 1,592
8/8/13 9:12 A

Give yourself some credit for continuing to try! This is easier said than done, but if you keep focusing on "Oh, I tried this before, oh, I failed, oh, I'm terrible for failing", that's just going to lead to self-hatred, discouragement, and yep, more failure.

Take credit for your successes. Were there things you were able to permanently change? Maybe you kept up eating more veggies, or you still drink 5 glasses of water per day?

Try to analyze what has been unsustainable about your previous attempts and why you couldn't keep them up. And that doesn't mean beating yourself up. Did you get bored with exercising? Did you binge eat when you were sad? Are there other ways to cope with these circumstances that you didn't try before?

Finally, remain flexible. Some days are going to be closer to ideal than others. You can choose a lot of it, but sometimes stuff just comes up. You can do it! Keep trying!

MISSRUTH Posts: 4,271
8/8/13 6:03 A

I first joined SparkPeople years before I actually committed to a lifestyle change, and not just a "diet". I probably made 3 or 4 tries at it, before it finally clicked for me. Seems like I was always just looking for a diet to lose the weight, and then afterwards I went back to my old ways. I had to get to the point where I could honestly say, this is just not working and I cannot go back to what I've always done.... because I always gain the weight back (and usually more). It had to be a totally different mindset for me.

Which means then that I needed to learn all kinds of new things-- how to deal with emotional eating, and eating at restaurants, and eating while on vacation and at holidays etc etc. Spark is a fabulous source of information. There are articles about all kinds of stuff-- including emotional eating. The thing is, you have to put the time and effort into it. Our issues with food don't just disappear all on their own. And yes, sometimes people need the help of a counselor or therapist to deal with their issues.

The bottom line (for me) is that, if I always do what I've always done, I'll always get what I always got. If I don't learn some new ways to deal with emotional issues, I'll always go back to stuffing my feelings and gaining weight. Hating yourself for where you are isn't going to help. Where you are right now, is just where you are. Doesn't matter really how many times you were here on Spark before; what matters is what you choose to do NOW. Edison made a ton of lightbulbs before he got one that actually worked. So big deal, that it took me a few tries and you a few tries, before we got ready to make a lifestyle change. The fact that you posted, tells me that you don't want to continue down the road you're on.

VESUVIOUS SparkPoints: (27,345)
Fitness Minutes: (31,997)
Posts: 785
8/8/13 1:43 A

Have you looked into counseling or a food addiction group? Emotional eating is a hard habit to break. Hating yourself isn't going to help. Each time you eat is another chance to make a healthier choice. You can your future.....can't do anything about the past!!!

DIDS70 Posts: 5,368
8/7/13 4:31 P

Answer yourself this very important question-- Why do you want to get healthy? Buying smaller clothes, looking good in a bathing suit, doing it for a reunion or wedding are simply not big enough. Try for something that you know is extremely important to you. 2 of my 5 reasons for getting healthy and staying there are on my screen saver right now. I want to romp, play, and be the best aunt that i can be to them. Nothing can tear me from that goal. Sure you may have bad days, you may falter, you may slip, but if the reason is big enough and important enough to you-- YOU WILL NOT QUIT.

PS: I never hate myself. Its not worth the energy.

PSS: Get you mind in the right place. All the eating right, planning, and exercising will do you no good if your mind isn't in the right place.

CANDIK48 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (11,546)
Posts: 1,025
8/7/13 1:10 P

Let me preface this by saying, I'm not trying to be hard on you. I've been where you are and this is the same talk I had with myself, Maybe this will help you come to the same realizations I did.

I am not always in control of what happens to me but I always have the ability to be in control of how I respond to each and every circumstance. I can have super powers. Really! I have fallen off the wagon more times than I care to admit and each time, I recommit with a renewed sense of purpose to succeed. All goes well for a little while and then BAM! My butt hits the ground as I fall down again. I've had all the excuses we all use. I'm too busy, I'm sick, My schedule is too hectic, I'm on vacation, blah, blah, blah... I, I, I, me, me, me... Hmmm I blamed all kinds of things but I failed to truly take responsible for the one constant factor in all of my success and failures and that was ME, MYSELF and I.

If I didn't like what I was doing to myself or where I was headed, I had to change my action and my attitude. Not the situation. I realized it wasn't the world or the people around me affecting me. It was me affecting my world and my interaction with others. By deciding to take control and not allowing myself the opportunity to quit for whatever bogus excuse I could come up with, I gave myself the super power I needed to succeed. The world around me could fail me, the people in my life could let me down, but I didn't have to do the same thing to me. I had all the tools I needed to succeed and get where I wanted to be inside me. I just had to do more than acknowledge them and brag about them. I actually had to use them. So I made the decision to do just that.

Hopefully you can find in yourself what you need to succeed.

MAYJUNE2012 SparkPoints: (30)
Fitness Minutes: (0)
Posts: 11
8/7/13 12:45 P

It's always hard. It's even harder to begin to diet again when you have the thoughts of negativity. It was hard for me to begin my diet again because I was so hurt by myself. I wondered how on EARTH could I lose so much weight and gain it back? But dwelling and drowning in the negativity will solve nothing. The only choice anyone has it to make the situation better. Think of the ways to make it better. You don't have to run miles a day, or excercise till your legs go out. But do a little bit better each day. Take it day by day and one battle at a time.

JOSEBINE SparkPoints: (91)
Fitness Minutes: (0)
Posts: 5
8/7/13 12:37 P

I've been here before. This is my 3rd time. WHY WHY WHY do I keep doing this to myself? I work very hard to lose 20-30 lbs only to get back in a bad place and gain it back plus more. This is the biggest I've ever been. I'm in tears, I'm discouraged, and I'm fed up. I don't understand why I keep doing this to myself. Whenever bad things happen in my life it's like the excuse I need not to keep going and I give up and feed myself my emotions. I don't know how to get out of this. I need help but don't know which kind or how to get it. Motivation is at an all time low and I'm tired. Really tired of being sick (the more I gain, the more things go wrong with my body). Latest is Sleep Apnea.

HELP...Someone out there, HELP!

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