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JLEMUS1 Posts: 4,054
6/24/13 10:43 A

You look great!!! not all of us can fit that perfect body ratio they use for the BMI.. Just keep doing what your doing!!

ASHLEYGILLE SparkPoints: (11,171)
Fitness Minutes: (2,227)
Posts: 1,427
6/24/13 10:13 A

At 122 pounds, you sound pretty small to me!

MLAN613 SparkPoints: (167,100)
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Posts: 10,861
6/24/13 7:46 A

I am fairly certain you are not the only medium sized lady in all of Malaysia. I think you just happen to focus on the people you feel are smaller than you. At the risk of sounding rude, get over it! You are who you are and you have the body God gave you. I would love to be your size.

I know it isn't fun getting criticism from people, especially from family. And maybe that's what's causing your frustration.

MRSR13 SparkPoints: (279)
Fitness Minutes: (610)
Posts: 19
6/24/13 4:45 A

I'm not sure the true issue is with your size? In your position I would be letting go of a few people in my life and surrounding myself with true friends, I'd be taking time to get to know me and from there I think your size issues would be less of a concern.. And I say all this with complete kindness..
this past yr my weight has sky rocketed. instead of dieting I have spent the last few months getting to know what it is I want. Not looking at others or celeb pics and wondering why I aren't the same.. like someone else said Pink is the perfect example, her body is tight, she is an athlete but the time and effort she puts in to being that way is immense.. I couldnt and dont want to do it and hence I probably wont look like that anytime soon.
Since having two children my hips are wider... so now I revel in wearing tight fitting pencil skirts that show off those curves!
One body, one life.
There is no point wasting your time on this earth beating yourself up.. you are you and there is nothing wrong with it!
We all have vanity issues, we all want the perfect body but you just have to know what is perfect for you.

emoticon

JANIEWWJD SparkPoints: (240,587)
Fitness Minutes: (208,240)
Posts: 7,353
6/23/13 11:45 P

Just be happy with who you are and the shape you're in!!!!

ROXYCARIN SparkPoints: (61,224)
Fitness Minutes: (54,793)
Posts: 2,641
6/23/13 8:45 P

I used to be a 0 or XS before my daughter now less than a year later wearing a size 2. Preparing for baby #2 and can't wait to be a size 18 or maybe more... Being small is overrated there are many more important goals in life that are truly rewarding

GOALWTIN7 SparkPoints: (2,121)
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Posts: 306
6/23/13 5:21 P

I think this wishing to have the perfect body (in your mind as everyone won't agree with you on that body type being ideal) Is not healthy. There comes a point in our lives that we have to accept our body type and just make that body as healthy as you can. Getting very thin if your body type does not call for that is not healthy.

Please don't blame this on other issues that may be going on with you. Thinking, "if only I had the perfect thin body everything will be O.K. in my life" may not be the reality once you get there. If you are a normal BMI, concentrate on what you can bring to your life to have a fulfilling life.


KEEP_GOING247 Posts: 1,754
6/23/13 4:23 P

I know how you feel. I have always had cousins who were smaller (in size) than me and it was frustrating. I have since learned that thank God we DON'T all have to be the same and its not about size but about health and being happy in your skin.

ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (143,140)
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Posts: 20,991
6/23/13 3:51 P

Eowyn,

Why do your parents and friends want you to go down a size ? What's so special about being a small or even extra small ? Why the constant criticism ? Keeping in mind that a small in Malaysia is much smaller than a small here in the US. It strikes me that you are being pressured to conform to society's (your parents/friends) expectations of how a person should look. They don't seem to realize, as others have noted here, that Asians do come in a variety of different shapes and sizes. Yao Ming is Chinese and he's taller than most Americans.

People think the grass is greener on the other guy's lawn. But the fact is, people who are thin or beautiful in our eyes have just as many problems as we do. We think that they must have a perfect life just because they wear a certain size. That is totally wrong. Thin women have just as many issues as large women.

We think that having money and a nice body will buy us happiness, but it won't. If we don't love ourselves, no one else will.



MYUTMOST4HIM Posts: 11,447
6/23/13 3:24 P

We are our own worse critic!!!! You need to embrace the way God made you - emoticon

AZULVIOLETA6 SparkPoints: (65,677)
Fitness Minutes: (73,748)
Posts: 3,209
6/23/13 2:59 P

I've never been to Malaysia, but I have known many people from your country. None of them were a size S or XS. Most of them were a M or a L and several were VERY round people.

Actually, one of the fattest people I know is Malay, though she was adopted to the US and grew up here. She is actually quite beautiful, but I would bet you that her BMI is in the high 30s.

You are not seeing reality, you are seeing what you want to see.



LILSPARKIE85 SparkPoints: (23,240)
Fitness Minutes: (6,866)
Posts: 186
6/23/13 2:48 P

All of that pressure would definitely be hard to deal with. Sometimes, the biggest thing we learn on this weight-loss journey is now how to get fit, but how to gain self-esteem and self-confidence. When you have oodles of those, it doesn't matter what society or your family are demanding you do/be.

AZULVIOLETA6 SparkPoints: (65,677)
Fitness Minutes: (73,748)
Posts: 3,209
6/23/13 2:46 P

Of course it is insulting to those of us who are larger. I am quite literally twice your size. Even though I still have a little bit of weight to lose, I wear regular (not plus sized) clothes and am not a giant or a freak. I am strong and fit and doing the best that I can with my body even though, like you, I have very serious health problems.

You already ARE tiny. Your BMI is normal. Stop complaining, get better friends and focus on something more meaningful in your life. Getting some counseling would be a wonderful idea.

CAMEOSUN SparkPoints: (81,283)
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Posts: 10,127
6/23/13 10:48 A

Just wondering if you weren't getting that feedback from your parents then maybe you would be more content with the body that life has dished out to you? You are right in that, some people, are not built (body frame size) to be small or a Size 0.

OBIESMOM2 SparkPoints: (61,851)
Fitness Minutes: (40,069)
Posts: 4,472
6/23/13 6:35 A

you are getting some tough love, and maybe you need it. Listen to this song...and I mean LISTEN to the words.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyMrTYmEby
g


Your so mean
when you talk about yourself,
you were wrong
Change the voices in your head
Make them like you instead



EVERYBODY has things about themselves they don't like. You really need to focus on what you DO like. And what you CAN do.

I want have a body like Bridgette Fonda. Not bloody likely!

and I would LOVE to be as toned as Pink is. But she works HARD. 1 hour run every day; 1 hour yoga every day, PLUS strength training.

Do I want it bad enough to devote that much time? No. But I do want to be fit. So I'll keep doing my Pilates and spin classes. I'll keep going to the park for my morning run. I'll keep using the BowFlex at home to build some muscle. And when I look in the mirror, I'll look for things that I like!


DRAGONCHILDE SparkPoints: (57,496)
Fitness Minutes: (14,252)
Posts: 9,662
6/23/13 12:13 A

I have a question for you.

How long are you going to allow others to control your ability to be happy?

You complain that your society makes you feel like you aren't beautiful. Your "friends" do the same. Your parents want you to be something you're not. Everything you talk about involves how others perceive you.

Here's the thing. Your life. Your weight. Your SELF, has nothing to do with any of those people. Those people you see walking around every day? Don't care about you. They don't *know* you. You are nothing more than background noise in the busy hustle and bustle of their day.

Why on earth would what you *imagine* they are thinking about you be what you define your life by?

In the end, you are responsible for you. And ultimately, you have to decide how long you're willing to let people who aren't in your head when you're lying at night staring at the ceiling define who you are "supposed" to be.

Edited by: DRAGONCHILDE at: 6/23/2013 (00:15)
SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (138,262)
Fitness Minutes: (33,254)
Posts: 21,854
6/22/13 11:48 P

I would like to point out your blog - on Doctor's Warning, and suggest that you read what you wrote. You are a dialysis patient - are you on any medications which contribute to your 'perceived' weight issues? You are having dizzy spells. You NEED to talk about this all with your Dr. If you are genuinely concerned about your weight as in 'concerned for your health' as opposed to 'concerned re vanity' then you NEED to talk with your Dr about it, and also ask for a referral to a Dietitian! Perhaps a referral to a Therapist would also be appropriate considering you are having a hard time accepting you for who you ARE, rather than who you WANT to be.

Kris

BUNNYKICKS Posts: 2,329
6/22/13 11:06 P

"How do you think your post makes full figured women feel?"
------------

This is a good point. When I started this journey at 245#, I weighed more than DOUBLE what you weigh. By the time I finish the weight-loss stage of this journey, I'll have lost almost an entire EOWYN!!! Yes, I have more fat on my body than your entire body weighs!!

And I am kinder to myself than you are to yourself!

You need to let some of the vanity go. We cannot have our 17-year-old bodies back. That's just life. You CAN lose five or ten pounds if you really want to... you CAN go to the gym and tone up and get stronger if you really want to.... or you can accept that 99% of the people on this forum would KILL to have your body exactly as it is right now, you already look better and are thinner than most of us will be "at goal." Because of this, I do find it almost upsetting to see you say such cruel things about your body!!!!! Be gentle with yourself. We only get one trip through life; let's enjoy it the best we can, and not waste a moment of it worrying about such superficial things as "five unwanted pounds" or "a tummy without washboard six-pack abs."

HAPPYJAY SparkPoints: (17,337)
Fitness Minutes: (15,546)
Posts: 307
6/22/13 10:56 P

be cute then

PAMLICO-DAZE SparkPoints: (46,737)
Fitness Minutes: (34,007)
Posts: 1,215
6/22/13 10:52 P

You look wonderful in your picture. How do you think your post makes full figured women feel? We all must learn to not be so hard on ourselves and love the bodies we were blessed with in the genenic lottery.

TACDGB Posts: 6,132
6/22/13 10:45 P

it's your body and you get to decide what it looks like and no one else does get to choose. If you really want that body quit winning about it and go make it happen.

AZULVIOLETA6 SparkPoints: (65,677)
Fitness Minutes: (73,748)
Posts: 3,209
6/22/13 9:20 P

No, apparently you cannot.

In spite of posting here often (sometimes several times a week) about your body image issues, your weight never seems to change by even one pound. DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT or focus on something else. Maybe your weight never changes because you are FINE THE WAY YOU ARE.

Seriously, you are in your 40s...stop acting like a whiny teenager. Why do you care so much about what other people think? It's dreadfully boring and shallow.

SONICB Posts: 4,262
6/22/13 9:17 P

Some people look REALLY unhealthy when they get too small for their frame size. I would recommend focusing on your health instead of the more superficial aspects of this journey.

Also, don't listen to your parents. Asian parents can find fault with anyone. You're old enough to be your own person and learn to appreciate the body you have been given. Treat it well and work on cultivating a more positive self-image so you can enjoy life more.

Edited by: SONICB at: 6/23/2013 (17:48)
CHOCOLATELEA SparkPoints: (2,622)
Fitness Minutes: (1,180)
Posts: 132
6/22/13 8:20 P

I thought that was true, but I learned I was wrong. One of the girls I knew in high school was pretty thick but not fat. What the rest of the world calls "big-boned." She's now pretty darn thin. Someone who knows her better said she'd stopped eating bread, among other things. She remains pretty thin 10 years later.

Maybe check out that "Wheat Belly" book and see if you think any of it applies? (I haven't read it.)

With effort, it can be done. :) [Although I wouldn't always advise it's a good idea to do it.]

KKKAREN SparkPoints: (216,846)
Fitness Minutes: (87,796)
Posts: 11,710
6/22/13 6:04 A

It's all a matter of perception. I think a size 0 is too small. I like curvier women.

TCANNO SparkPoints: (117,285)
Fitness Minutes: (74,968)
Posts: 20,748
6/22/13 3:48 A

First off you must put your mind to get going on this journey. Once that has happened it won't be easy but manageable.

You can do it but you have to believe that you can. There is plenty of help on here but you have to ask for it .

Good luck I am sure you can do it


SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (138,262)
Fitness Minutes: (33,254)
Posts: 21,854
6/22/13 3:35 A

I suggest that you actually open your eyes and take a very good look around you. There are MANY who live in Malaysia who are bigger than you. I have seen a lot over here on holiday, and at times on TV. I think it is a case of your mind focusing on wanting (NOT NEEDING) to be small - dainty - that you are blinded as to what is actually around you. I also realize that you aren't getting appropriate support from those around you, but that is THEIR problem - don't let it become yours!

Kris

EOWYN2424 Posts: 5,852
6/22/13 2:06 A

I've been told that I have a medium frame. That means while I can tone up and generally try to be a healthier BMI, I can never be small!

Every time I see a small person, you know, those super small, super slim women, I feels so envious. And I think : "I wish I had a small frame!". You know those women with vital stats of 32-24-34, read those women who wear clothes sized S, XS or size 0, as you say here in the US.

I live in Malaysia, where every other woman is sized S or XS; so it's hard not to be reminded of a body size or type that I can NEVER be!!!! I'm soooo depressed!

To make matters worse, my parents want be to go down to that size!!!! But it's impossible!!! My skeletal frame is against me!!!!

I'm just venting here, don't worry, I won't turn aneroxic! I love food too much! But it's depressing all the same..........

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