So, what indeed DO you want?
Only you can make the decision to make good food and activity choices.
No amount of words said here will really make much difference, if you don't take them to heart.
If it helps, sit down and write out WHY you're feeling this way (unmotivated).
Also, WHAT you're feeling, and what's happening in your life just now.
Then, WHY you want to progress from here.
Write, write, write.
Look at it.
Read it over.
Decide which part of the list you will follow - the positives or the negatives.