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10/15/13 2:40 P

I have to say, I enjoyed this thread.
To the OP, say away from the the Vikes (Vicodin), it's poison! Try to move a bit more. Look into the depression issue, and good luck. Hope you have some relief soon.
It is sometimes hard to be objective and to see ourselves clearly. It is also hard to really understand the attitudes and reactions of others.
The only person that you will ever be able to change is YOURSELF. It is less frustrating than trying to change others, and the way they treat you.

AZULVIOLETA6 SparkPoints: (0)
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10/15/13 2:40 P

It's up to you to work to do something to fix your problems. Even if your doctor was treating you poorly because you are fat, so what? You still have to figure out your situation and take some ownership over making change happen. A lot of people who have contributed to this thread have given you things to think about and we have tried to help you brainstorm some places to begin.

Disagreeing with you is NOT bullying. Not everyone who dislikes you chooses to do so because you are fat. Not everyone who is smarter than you is cocky. All of these labels that you are putting on things are really just poor-me excuses.

At some point, if you take no real action and continue to blame everybody else for your problems, then you lose your right to whine and complain.

MRSPRINCESS2007 Posts: 44
10/15/13 12:42 P

Alrighty then.

I'm ducking out of this thread. I'm all for being supportive but I can't do this. There is a difference between support and coddling. When someone is emotional or irrational they read between the lines and often times feel insulted or hurt. Misunderstandings occur. But that is NOT mine to own.

Again, we own our actions and REACTIONS.

"Be the change you want to see" is all I can recommend at this stage.

BLUENOSE63 SparkPoints: (108,021)
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10/15/13 12:24 P

Remember the lowest form of communication is the written word as it is interpretive in nature by whomever reads the communication.

ILUVFALL Posts: 18
10/15/13 12:11 P

Some of the comments were bullying.....own it people.

To the OP, I'm sorry you went through this. You are not crazy; you were treated like c**p by a doctor. You cannot change that doctor or the way he treated you, so don't even give him another thought. You need to change doctors and get the help you need.

MRSPRINCESS2007 Posts: 44
10/15/13 11:36 A


Many people here, including myself, have been compassionate to you. I think you need to step back and breathe. You are coming from an emotional place right now and honestly you are over-reacting to many of the comments. One person was a tad overboard in her response. However... after seeing your last post I could see how some might get tired of the complaining.

It all boils down to you owning your actions and reactions. If you don't like a situation, change it. Own your life and take charge! Be the change you want to see. It's not up to everyone around you including internet chat forums to change for you. I'm going to be real here:

It is feeling like you are wanting a pitty party, a place to come and quite frankly, whine. You are not willing to own your role in this ordeal and you are wanting to essentially blame your size for this problem when really it's an attitude thing. I know some people want to deflect and make up reasons, excuses, for why XYZ happened. Could it be that you were just being rude and demanding? You get more ants with honey than vinegar.

Many of us here have or are larger in size. While size discrimination is a real problem I highly am doubting this was the issue for the crazy day you had. You have more ownership in the situation than I think you are willing to admit or to come to terms with.

Am not going to encourage your poor behavior any more. I will give compassion and a shoulder when needed but sometimes you have to stand on your own two feet and understand we make our environment. If you want to be treated differently, act differently. A change of mind it seems would do you a lot of good in more than one way.

This isn't cyber bulling. This is a friendly, yet stern, reality check. What you see as "bullying" is really people telling you to get off the floor, dust yourself off, seek out alternatives, and stop making excuses! If you don't want to change, that's fine, it really is! But don't expect people to stick around time and again to pad your bruised ego.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

FENWAYGIRL18 Posts: 5,868
10/15/13 12:26 A

this is cyber bulling

Edited by: FENWAYGIRL18 at: 10/15/2013 (06:03)
SUNFLOWERGAMMY SparkPoints: (27,692)
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10/14/13 9:03 A

Been there and experienced the apparent hatred some people have for overweight people as I had a man make snide remarks where I could hear him ( he was talking to his wife/girlfriend) about why someone as fat as me would even bother to dress up or wear make up because you cant cover up all that fat! I was in a store picking up a few items and he literally followed behind me down several isles until I just left. Of course I was much younger then and too polite not to mention shocked and a little scared to turn around and give him a piece of my mind, he'd get earful now that I am over age 50 and menopausal!
ps. As far as the medical community I have believe many of my symptoms were ignored and written off because I was obese so my multiple sclerosis wasn't diagnosed for years until it finally crippled me up and I couldn't walk or straighten out my neck and vision was so blurry I could barely see that (because they thought I had a stroke) I had an MRI, MRS, VEP AND OTHER TESTS that I was diagnosed by two neurologists as having MS. I made sure I got more than one medical opinion because I didn't want to have MS but at the same time it was a relief to know what had been going on in my body for years that went undiagnosed and untreated! I remember leaving doctor appointments thinking I must be crazy because they would tell me it was just stress and try and lose some weight!

Edited by: SUNFLOWERGAMMY at: 10/14/2013 (09:16)
BLUENOSE63 SparkPoints: (108,021)
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10/14/13 8:37 A

This is just a general comment for the OP:

I have read through this whole thread and there a multitude of positive suggestions here from very knowledgeable people. Please take them in the spirit they are intended -- you need to definitely go to a new doctor. Second the recommendation for a Rheumatologis

Hope that you get things on the upswing soon.

MRSPRINCESS2007 Posts: 44
10/14/13 12:18 A


Second the recommendation for a Rheumatologist!

I found an amazing one! He's so good in fact I've seen him once in 3.5 yrs. He worked with me to tweak my plan, gave me suggestions were needed, and dialed back a few things here and there within my life/schedule/history/etc to allow me to stop being in mass pain and extremely tired (I have chronic fatigue syndrome as well). I am able to manage my symptoms naturally and only take 200 mg of OTC as needed every few months. AMAZING considering I had to stop working due to some of the symptoms. That coupled the fact that my hips are twisted, arthritis in my knees due to a ligament disorder and subsequent surgeries, and back issues from a couple of major accidents.

It can happen. But in a way... sometimes it really can be in your head. A change of attitude and routine can really do some good. It changed my life!

And Neurologists only make the good mula for surgery. Same with most other specialties. Unless they can fix it via surgical means, many tend to not be the most empathetic. I should say some, not many.

MRSPRINCESS2007 Posts: 44
10/14/13 12:10 A

"I worked for a doctors I know how they are I know the special treatment a blonde would get over a brunnette. If a blonde patient walked in it would throw off the whole day of appointments."

You had my ear until this statement.

Tsk, tsk.

I've been both a blonde and brunette.... and well a few other colors too, and I wasn't treated any differently due to my hair until or unless I acted differently. In fact, the same goes for my weight. When I felt/feel confident people are in deed nicer and more attracted to you (not in a sexual way- energy way). When you are insecure, angry, mean, or shy people react to that too. It's one of the many laws of nature and attraction/reaction.

You hurt your case by making that statement. It's a stereotype and for someone that wants empathy you should be careful about lobbing stones.

I worked for many a doctors. Some were fabulous, 1 was a total a$$hat, and others were somewhere in between. Again, let's not make assumptions. I worked for one that owns a national (I think it's international, now) Plastic Surgery center. From the family history, $$$ he and his family have, down to the brick and mortar of his home you'd expect him to be the most egocentric jerk alive. Turns out he was the best, most fun boss I ever had. I was a larger girl when I worked for him (size 14) and a broke college kid. I wasn't treated any differently as a result. In fact, his wife offered to work around my college schedule to retain me as an employee. She went to bat for me to keep me on bc her and her husband saw great value and potential in me.

Often times you create the reaction you've encountered. I would suggest stepping back, admitting where you went wrong, calm down, and move forward. But in the mean, don't stereotype...especially if you want people to jump on the pitty train.

Edited by: MRSPRINCESS2007 at: 10/14/2013 (00:19)
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10/13/13 8:29 P

The thing which will make fibro worse the fastest is to stop moving. It sounds like you are in so much pain that you aren't exercising at all. If that continues, you won't ever get better. When you reach a point that you are so ill that you cannot work, that is when coming up with a treatment plan needs to become your full-time job. I have been in that position (not because of fibro, due to a different illness) and I get how enormously frustrating that is. I understand that level of angst, but I know that blaming other people for your problems (the doctor was meeeeean to me!) is not going to accomplish anything.

You may need to think in terms of short and long-term strategies in order to move forward. Perhaps taking Lyrica or an antidepressant might make enough of a difference to help get you back on track. Maybe you need to try PT for a while. You might reach a point where you could go off of the prescriptions and control most of your pain with movement. Something has to change though, doesn't it?

ANARIE Posts: 13,175
10/13/13 4:07 P

Okay, I just saw where you say that he suggested Lyrica and you freaked out on him. I frankly assumed you were already taking it. That little bit of information changes a LOT of things.

I'm writing this to you, FenwayGirl, but I hope you'll show it to your husband or, better yet, a friend or co-worker who can be neutral and is brave enough to tell you, "Yeah, I've been thinking the same thing. You're not acting like yourself."

Because I think you're not yourself. I think you need some special medical help, and everything that happened at the doctor is related to a different medical problem.

Question set 1: How much Vicodin did you take? How long before your appointment did you take it? Did you tell the doctor you were taking it? Did you include it when you filled out the paperwork at the office? How often do you take it?

Question set 2: At what point in the appointment did he suggest Lyrica? What had you told him before he made the suggestion? When you refused Lyrica, did you express any openness to a different medication? Did you say, "That has been suggested before, but I'm afraid of the side effects," or did you say, "NO!!! I'M NOT TAKING THAT STUFF! IT CAUSES CANCER!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Question set 3: How did the subject of fat and needles come up? Was the doctor attempting to do a biopsy, or was he maybe going to give you an injection for your pain? Your post doesn't make anything clear, but a doctor wouldn't just walk in and say, "I only have short needles" if he didn't need to use a needle. What was he going to do that couldn't be done because of the fat deposit?

I'm going to be honest; if I were that doctor, I wouldn't treat you either. I don't know whether I would have told you so, or whether I would have simply turned you down the next time you called for an appointment, but I wouldn't deal with you anymore.

Because... What treatment can he give you? Lyrica is the standard for treating fibromyalgia, but you won't take it. Weight loss is the only thing known to cure fibromyalgia, but you get offended when it's suggested. You also take an illegal drug that MAKES FIBROMYALGIA WORSE.

In fact, I would venture a guess that the Vicodin is the real reason he threw you out. He could probably tell that you were on something, and the suspicion got stronger as you got more upset, because hyper-anxiety and combativeness are among the side effects of opiates for a lot of people. And if you didn't say on your paperwork that you were taking it, or if it wasn't the first thing out of your mouth when you started talking to him, you're just incredibly lucky that you didn't end up dead. Vicodin has acetaminophen. Acetaminophen is also a common thing for a doctor to hand out right away when you complain of any sort of pain. But even a small overdose of acetaminophen can destroy your liver. If you didn't tell him you'd taken the vicodin, he wouldn't be at fault if he gave you Tylenol for your headache and you died the next day.

So... As far as the doctor is concerned, you're a high-risk, uncooperative patient. You take illegal drugs that put HIM at risk because they could have a deadly interaction with very normal treatments. You refuse to do any of the things that might make you better, and insist on doing things that might make you worse. He probably does think you're lying about the fibromyalgia, because you're doing the opposite of what would make you better.

If he knows about the Vicodin, and especially if you didn't tell him but he figured it out himself, then legally he's actually not supposed to treat you. If he wrote anything "secret" on your chart, it was probably "suspect drug-seeking," because according to your own description, you totally acted like a druggie trying to bully him into giving you an opiate prescription.

I hope the Vicodin was a one-time thing, out of desperation, but really, it explains a lot. You're not taking an anticonvulsant or antidepressant when you clearly are depressed. You're extremely anxious (it shows in your other thread too) and agitated, both of which are signs of depression and are aggravated by opiates.

I'll say it again: You are doing the opposite of what will make you better. If you won't take Lyrica, please consider some sort of antidepressant. It will help at least a little with the fibro, and more importantly, it will help you think more clearly and make better decisions about the rest of your healthcare. Things like Prozac have very little risk, and you don't have to take them forever. It's relatively easy to get off Prozac. It's very, very hard to get off Vicodin. And it's frankly not logical to worry about the very, very remote possibility of Lyrica increasing your cancer risk, while taking unprescribed Vicodin which can kill you outright.

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10/13/13 2:22 P

My philosophy is to mention it to the offender in a nice way (if possible) and if it happens again, tell the person that you are really offended and tell him that he will be reported and THEN FOLLOW THROUGH AND REPORT THE INCIDENTS.

Happens once, shame on me, twice shame on you.

MISSJANE55 SparkPoints: (42,272)
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10/13/13 2:15 P

I agree with many who have commented: he was totally unprofessional and inappropriate and should be reported. Be careful, however, about how you report him, you need to be clear and unemotional. You can also look him up on the internet to find out if others have filed complaints about him.
I would also recommend that you think about getting some acupuncture for your physical health issues.
With the types of things that you have going on there are so many complexities that doctors who are into diagnosing and treating can't really get their heads around the total picture. All the medical issues are related, they aren't separate issues. Alternative health modalities, re: acupuncture, massage, etc., might be helpful at addressing the total picture.

Edited by: MISSJANE55 at: 10/13/2013 (14:15)
AZULVIOLETA6 SparkPoints: (0)
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10/13/13 1:24 P

1. Certainly, try a different neurologist. Or go to a rheumatologist, since that might be more appropriate to dealing with fibromyalgia. It's pretty reasonable to assume that the topic of your weight is going to come up at some point though, no matter who you see.

2. This is a very broad generalization, but neurologists do not tend to be the most warm and fuzzy doctors as a rule. They are extremely smart people dealing with very complex problems and working with a body system (brain/nervous system) which is really not very fully understood by science at this point. You are unlikely to find a neurologist who is going to pat you on the head and become your BFF. They are not customer service representatives, they are serious scientists. A doctor doesn't work FOR you, they work WITH you. Treating someone who has probably 10-12 more years of formal education than you do as though he or she is some kind of servant is not going to get you very far. It is, in fact, quite cocky.

3. Taking someone else's narcotics is a violation of federal law. You need a strategy for dealing with pain, and that's not going to come together unless you are willing to listen to doctors and follow some kind of treatment protocol. Of course you can decide that you don't want to take a particular medication (and good for you for reading the circular!), but in that case you need to communicate with the doctor to come up with some other approach. Just deciding not to take a prescribed medication on your own will not win you any points with any doctor.

4. I don't care how fat you are, but the way you have titled this thread alone irritates the heck out of me. I want to talk down to you just based on the way that you write...and I am a linguist who works with non-native speakers, so I have a HIGH tolerance for dealing with people who make mistakes with English. I think that Anarie is on to something when she points out that there may be something about your oral communication that sets people on edge.

5. You think that blonds get better treatment by doctors? Really? Honestly, that makes you sound like a loon.

Edited by: AZULVIOLETA6 at: 10/13/2013 (13:30)
MISSRUTH Posts: 4,222
10/13/13 4:15 A

I'd agree that it's time for a different neurologist.

What surprized me in your op was your comment about taking one of your DH's "vikes". First that anyone would call them "vikes" implies to me, a great familiarity with the medication. Almost a way too casual sort of relationship with that medication. Which is a habit-forming medication, and a prescription should never be shared. Second, you took medication NOT prescribed for you. You are self-medicating. If whatever YOUR doctor has prescribed for you is not working or has side effects you're afraid of... you need to discuss that with your doctor and let the medical professionals work to manage your pain. And third, one of the common side effects of vicodin is HEADACHE. Depending on how often you're helping yourself to DH's medication, you may very well be making your pain worse.

TCANNO SparkPoints: (328,814)
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10/13/13 3:25 A

Not nice but some people try to motivate you that way. It is still not nice

SUNSET09 SparkPoints: (514,765)
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10/13/13 2:10 A

We are all discriminated against, at one time or another. If you are not happy with the way he treated you, report him and go to someone who can assist you with your concerns. He may be doing this with other patients and if we let it go, it will create a vicious circle. Get the assistance you need and paid for! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

ATHENA-NADINE SparkPoints: (20,812)
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10/13/13 2:00 A

Actually, yes. If you make an appointment to discuss one problem, but go in to the doctor with two different problems, you will have to make two appointments. Especially if insurance is being billed. One, doctors will only schedule enough time to discuss the one problem you schedule time for. Two, insurance companies do not allow doctors to bill for two different issues on a single visit. They make doctors make separate appointments to address them.

As for what happened with this particular doctor, I'm sorry you feel you were treated unfairly. I don't think I can give an opinion on it, though, because it feel like I don't have enough objective information.

FENWAYGIRL18 Posts: 5,868
10/12/13 10:53 P

I mentioned the head also, so when you go to the doctor you say one symptom at a time even if two or three things are bothering you? so lets see today I'll complain about this and oh yes let me make an appointment next week so I can have another question answered... that makes no sense the guy was rude!
No excuse for it .... I have to pay deductables and percentages for my insurance this guy should of done the job he was paid to do and had a bed side manner. I worked for a doctors I know how they are I know the special treatment a blonde would get over a brunnette. If a blonde patient walked in it would throw off the whole day of appointments.
You people should be so lucky to get treated as I did by such a professional I guess is what your saying ..............

SHERYLDS Posts: 17,281
10/12/13 5:10 P

It's unfortunate that you had such a bad experience when you were in such pain.
It is important to have a good relationship with your physician...I assume you are looking for someone else.
The only thing I would say is that when it comes to giving you a proper examination , you really need to let the doctor do his thing...even if it the light is painful during the time of the examination. You want answers. A great bedside manner is not going to do anything for you when your home and in agony.
Hope you get relief soon

Edited by: SHERYLDS at: 10/12/2013 (17:11)
FIRECOM SparkPoints: (0)
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10/12/13 4:13 P

Of course I was, but I just ignored it. Human nature cane be a vicious varmint.

ANARIE Posts: 13,175
10/12/13 3:57 P

I'm sorry that you're in pain, and that you had a bad experience.

But let's face it, you have a history of thinking that every conflict you have with anyone is just because of your weight. But you already felt disrespected by the receptionist ON THE PHONE. You were already mad at these people, and probably had them ticked at you, before they had any idea that you were fat.

Everything the doctor said to you until the end was appropriate. You made an appointment for your leg, so that was what he was supposed to try to treat. If the pain from the cyst was so much worse than usual that you wanted that to be the main focus, you should have gone to an emergency room. Since you didn't, he focused on what you hired him to focus on. Telling you that you have too much fat on your thighs for standard needles to reach through is not an insult; it's a fact about your body that explained why he couldn't do a procedure right then. The last time I had blood drawn, they told me my veins were too small for adult needles and in the future I would have to tell them that I needed a pediatric needle. I felt a little offended by the way they said it, but it was good information that explained why they couldn't do the procedure that day. (And it also explained why previous doctors never wanted to do blood tests that should have been done. The others didn't want to admit that they didn't know how to do the blood draw. I didn't get proper care until a medical professional was brave enough to be willing to offend me. If you don't lose weight, you should tell any new doctors that they'll need to have longer needles ready.)

It's not true that fibromyalgia pain is all in your head-- but it IS true that your weight probably has a lot to do with it, and it is true that a neurologist should snort at it as a diagnosis. Fibromyalgia just means "soft tissue pain." It's doctor-speak for "I accept that you feel pain but I have no idea why and there's nothing I can do. Here's a name to call it by, because naming it usually helps." A neurologist should not accept that diagnosis; s/he should at least try to determine whether the pain is in the nerves at all, or whether it's muscle, connective tissue, etc. When he said "doctors are saying fibromyalgia is all in your head," he meant that the doctor who told you that it's fibromyalgia thinks it's all in your head, and you should tell him why YOU think it's your nerves.

You and this doctor don't like each other. He told the truth a little too bluntly, you got mad, and he fired you as a patient. You had every right to be mad, and he had every right to fire you. Doctors are NOT required to treat patients they don't like, just like you're not required to stay at a job where you don't like your coworkers.

Sometimes people just don't get along. When that happens, it's best that they quit trying to work together if they don't have to. He did the right thing by saying, "I'm not going to treat you." A lot of other doctors would just say, "Yes, you have fibromyalgia. Come back in three months," and keep taking your money four times a year without treating you.

You still have to pay him. If you accepted a job, went in and worked for a week, and then had a fight with the boss and got fired or quit, wouldn't you still expect to get paid for the work you had done? If they didn't pay, you could sue them. If you don't pay, they can sue you.

One last idea. You've mentioned a lot of incidents like this, where you speak to someone in what you think is a perfectly normal way and they go all wack-o on you. It might not hurt for you to see a speech pathologist. There could be something about your voice, your tone, or your accent that sets people off without you or they understanding why. Hubby wouldn't hear it, because he knows you. If this were the only time you'd described this type of problem, I wouldn't think this, but you OFTEN post about someone being rude to you in a conversation when they weren't rude to your husband. Think especially hard about whether people are rude to you on the phone, because then it has to be about your speech, not your appearance.

FENWAYGIRL18 Posts: 5,868
10/12/13 3:20 P

no he didn't order any other testing...........I didn't say weight shouldn't be addressed but you don't treat someone as harshly as he did me, you weren't in the room you have no idea how disrespectful he was to me! Just because someone is overweight doesn't mean they deserve to be treated like crap.....
I saw this doctor 20 yrs ago when I was a size 6 and he was friendly and personable, but 20 yrs later with weight on he was totally different... My husband went to him not to long ago again hubby is thin and he was very nice and joking around, he wasn't kind or respectful in anyway to me and no one deserves to be treated like that!
I'm the paying customer you expect some kind of kindness and empathy from a doctor they are suppose to be there to help you not degrade you.
Overweight people have feelings to , he was a total jerk and when I got off of here yesterday I found a page of reviews for him and everyone that reviewed him said they got treated badly and he had no bedside manner.........

Edited by: FENWAYGIRL18 at: 10/12/2013 (15:49)
JAMINURSE Posts: 3,901
10/12/13 12:15 P

I have to respectfully disagree that a majority of doctors are self centered and in it for the money. I find those that do practice from that mind frame are the exception, not the rule. There will always be those bad apples out there. I think maintaining a copy of your medical records is prudent, and it is your right.

CAMEOSUN SparkPoints: (86,617)
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10/12/13 10:54 A


Definitely get a copy of your records. The records are yours, it's about you & your health. Also, with the light sensitivity...was the doctor concerned at all about possible Meningitis or Subarachnoid hemorrhage??

So, no more tests were ordered by him that day?

BLUENOSE63 SparkPoints: (108,021)
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10/12/13 9:54 A

Doctors are ordinary people and , as a result, they are human with all the faults and foibles that the person sitting next to you might have. Perhaps he is like that in real life when not at the office, so definitely time to move on to a new doctor wherein you will feel more comfortable discussing your medical issues.

LOVE4KITTIES Posts: 4,690
10/12/13 3:58 A

"paranoid audit"

um,'s not paranoid to want to see what they are writing in your chart. It's the smart thing to do because what one doctor writes, the others see. One doctor's biased opinion can cause a patient to have inadequate care from all the rest of their doctors for years on end.

AZULVIOLETA6 SparkPoints: (0)
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10/12/13 3:05 A

If you are talking to me--I also have fibro, plus I have migraines and I survived a ruptured brain aneurysm. I've had brain surgery twice, including a craniotomy--the kind of brain surgery where you have your skull completely cut open and then you spend the next couple of years trying to recover. I know pain and I understand that it can cloud your thinking process, as can pain medications.

I have spent a lot of time with neurologists and neurosurgeons. I have some major health issues, but in dealing with hundreds of doctors over the years I can only think of two times when I've ever had an upsetting experience. In one case I complained to the doctor's practice partner. In another case, I fired a surgeon and requested that somebody else operate on me. I think that there are times when complaining and standing up for yourself are important...but just because a doctor addressed your weight when talking about issues that could be weight-related?

The best, kindest, most caring doctor in the world cannot help you if you are acting irrationally...and I wonder if that is the case here.

Are you saying that it is NEVER appropriate for a doctor to talk about weight at all?

I like the idea of requesting a copy of your records--not to do some kind of paranoid audit of what the doctor is saying about you behind your back--but because it could give you some concrete information to help you organize your thoughts and address your health problems in a more organized way.

FENWAYGIRL18 Posts: 5,868
10/12/13 1:16 A

He didn't establish a protocal, he was very insensitive and you'll never know how I feel unless you walk in my shoes... You have no idea what it's like to live with debilitating pain on a daily basis and I know rude when I see and read it.
To the others that were understanding thank you very much, no one should be treated as I was treated today, when someone is walking in with a sleeping mask because the light is too much for them and your telling the girl you have bad light sensitivity there's no guessing it wasn't like any patients sitting in the waiting room didn't know that lights were bothering me so for him to make a big deal out of me nicely asking him to shut off the lights when there was still plenty of light in the room, he was just being insensitive and uncaring to a patient that was clearly in pain.
I had gone to this same doctor 20 yrs ago when I was a size 6 and was never ever talked down to or treated like this or I'd of never gone back to him, just because a person has weight on them doesn't mean they sit home and just eat bon bons all day there are health issues that cause a lot of it, like not being able to exercise when you want too because your body is going against you.
There was no hello ? how are you? I'm Dr so and so nothing he was rude from the very beginning. Don't tell me I make no sense you don't because no one else here is defending this doctor.
I've worked with doctors they can be very self centered and arrogant and I agree with one person that said a lot become a doctor for the money and prestige, I've seen it and they'll be nice to the person while they are in front of their face and then write horrible things in the chart, the doctor I worked for wanted me to me put triangles on the chart that would be a heads up that the patient was gay, which I thought was horrible but iI didn't put the triangle there and he'd say hey you didn't put a triangle and so he'd do it. Thats discrimination......of course the patient didn't know that but he'd treat them different ... I thought it was disgusting that's why I never put the triangle I didn't want to put a label ....
So I'd hear flack for it but I never did it.....

MRSPRINCESS2007 Posts: 44
10/11/13 10:09 P

I'm sorry to hear this!

I have FMS also. I thankfully found natural way to deal with mine as you are right, the meds are quite scary! In fact, some have worse side effects than dealing with the FMS. If I don't like a Dr I move on! I had one who was larger than me felt it was necessary to lecture me about my weight and would not take my many miscarriages seriously. I have a blood disorder that had she been willing to issue a simple test, I would have been able to stop the miscarriages.

I had a nurse once blame my impacted wisdom tooth on me being fat. LOL! We had just moved out of state and my wisdom tooth caused an infection in my gum. We moved to a town out in the middle of no where and only had 1 clinic option for after hours care- no emergency dentists. So after she told me that I wouldn't have had that infection had I been willing to lose a few pounds, I told her that her attitude might be better if she took her own advice. She gave me a dirty look and left the room.

Don't be pushed around. If one won't listen another one will!

Edited by: MRSPRINCESS2007 at: 10/11/2013 (22:11)
LOVE4KITTIES Posts: 4,690
10/11/13 9:21 P

Everyone should get copies of their medical records after every visit. I don't mean the health summary or receipt they will print for you. I mean that you should go to the medical records office and put in a formal request for copies of all your records, after every visit. You'd be very surprised at what doctors will write in your records and also how inaccurate they can be. Doctors do a lot of covering their rears in your records, making themselves sound good and making you sound bad whenever possible. This is so, if there's a problem or they get a complaint, they can use the records against you, to benefit themselves. You have a legal right to this information.

Be very, very careful when you go to see any doctor about what you say to them and how you say it. Many doctors will always write down stuff in your records to shine the worst possible light on you. For example, if you go to the doctor and they ask you if you drink... If you say you only ever drink a small glass of champagne once per year on New Years Eve if you go to a party, they might write that you are a social drinker in your record (this one actually happened to me). If they are rude and upset you to the point where you cry in front of them, they may say you have an emotional disturbance or something like that. If you say you are sad after someone dies, you could now have an "adjustment disorder" (happened to a friend of mine who got a little teary eyed during a doctor's visit about the death of her mom a year prior). Seriously, most doctors are like this. Some doctors are wonderful and helpful and kind. Most are not. Until you know a doctor really well, be very careful around him/her.

The kind of people who are attracted to medicine as a career...well, from what I've seen, a lot of them are in it for money, power, and prestige. Very few are actually in it to help others (despite what they may say). I got my doctorate at a school that also had a medical school. The medical students, as a whole (although there were individuals who were exceptions to this), were shockingly self-absorbed, arrogant, shallow and insensitive. They were also pretty cutthroat even amongst themselves (not into helping their classmates who were having troubles...more likely to stab them in the back than offer some help before a test) and acted like nasty middle school kids, really. You should have heard some of the stuff they said and talked about (just being mean about people) in the study lounge. They were a very cliquish bunch. Overall, most of them were not people that were enjoyable to be around. Not all of them were like that, though, there were a few nice ones and I even gained one friend from their numbers. Anyway, there are a few good doctors out there. They are few and far between, but they are out there.

10/11/13 7:53 P

People are starting to post comments about MDs, Healthcare of any sort on Yelp. You should post something there about your experience - just make sure it is well written otherwise it won't be taken seriously. Get better soon.

JAMINURSE Posts: 3,901
10/11/13 7:31 P

Please take LOVE4KITTIES advice. I have been an RN for 17 years and I am ashamed to say that I know for a fact there are healthcare professionals (yes even MD's) that treat patients badly. I am so very sorry that happened to you. My husband also has Fibromyalgia and is treated badly when I am not there to advocate for him. He is in pain all the time. And no, it is not in your head.

No one here should comment on your communication with this provider, and quite frankly, that is irrelevant. There are some wonderful providers out there that truly care about their patients. I really hope you find one, and can get some pain relief.

AZULVIOLETA6 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (74,443)
Posts: 3,293
10/11/13 7:00 P

I really don't see that there is anything wrong with what the doctor said to you.

It sounds like with the light issue, you did not communicate clearly what you needed. Why are you informing the neurologist about a brain cyst--wouldn't that doctor have diagnosed it or seen records? Honestly, it sounds like your communication skills and emotional issues are a big part of the problem here, if not all of the problem.

Asking about your weight is entirely appropriate to the issue and something that doctors are allowed to do. Wearing tight tops certainly COULD have an effect on pain in your leg. If you don't believe that clothing choices can have something to do with your nervous system, google TIGHT PANTS SYNDROME.

This man was using diagnostic protocol to try to figure out what is going on with you. If you report this, nobody will take you seriously if you sound like you do right now.

DELLA81156 Posts: 201
10/11/13 6:59 P

Never let someone make you feel that way. Report him and even if you don't get justice you will feel better just because you stood up for yourself. emoticon

ETHELMERZ SparkPoints: (250,250)
Fitness Minutes: (208,640)
Posts: 18,742
10/11/13 6:40 P

Report him, you are not the only one who is being treated like this, this kind of treatment is coming from someone who is sick of being a doctor, and needs to quit. I'd bet money that there are others he has been assanine to, he is one of those doctors who has too many patients, and can't handle it, even his staff is under pressure. Report so that others who have reported will finally get something done. Always have your husband or someone go into the room with you from now on, or take a recorder in there. I kid you not, it's not just YOU.

LOVE4KITTIES Posts: 4,690
10/11/13 6:30 P

Report him to your state medical board. He deserves a complaint against his license. They will investigate your report.

Edited to add the link to this article:

Edited by: LOVE4KITTIES at: 10/11/2013 (18:45)
ZZYYGGY3 Posts: 2,334
10/11/13 6:26 P

I wouldn't pay him either, and if you have insurance have them not pay him. That was unbeleivably rude, ignorant, and down right bigot. If you feel up to it you or your hubby should report him to the AMA and the better business bureau. At the very least though I would refuse to pay for that appointment.

My doctor is a sweet heart, and I've never had a problem with her. I've had problems in the past with others especially men doctors because of my weight. My current doctor though has been working with me, and we're currently trying to get my blood pressure down.

I hope you feel better, and keep looking for a doctor who will work with you. They are few and far between but they are out there.

AZULVIOLETA6 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (74,443)
Posts: 3,293
10/11/13 6:17 P

Photosensitivity can be a symptom of several different neurological issues. I'm sure this is not the first time that someone in a neurologist's office has had that problem...

You are not making a lot of sense right now. Also, based on some of your previous posts, you seem to have quite a bias against people who are educated and/or wealthy. You aren't complying with the protocol that the doctor had already established. Any of these things could have been playing a role in why the doctor was "talking down" to you. I'm not sure that you can blame everything on being fat.

When you are in pain and distressed it is really important to have an advocate. When you are feeling overwhelmed it is hard to keep track of all of the details. I hope that your husband was in the room with you taking notes. If not, you might want to try this next time. It's also good to go into the appointment with a list of questions to ask so that you don't get sidetracked or forget important details.

My mother is a doctor herself, but when she had a transplant recently, she always had someone with her, taking notes during appointments and consultations. Even when you are not in pain or actively freaking out, it's good to have a second pair of ears for dealing with big medical issues--even when you understand what is going on, some things are just plain stressful.

I hope that you get some relief soon.

ZIGGY122 Posts: 2,198
10/11/13 6:05 P

OMG! I just can't believe how you were treated by a medical professional. I would report him to the state medical board. Also I would report it to your insurance company.
Being in healthcare most of my life, I have seen some professionals treat people like this and was always appalled. No one should have to endure this kind of discrimination PERIOD!!!!

LOVE4KITTIES Posts: 4,690
10/11/13 6:01 P

I'm so sorry you were treated that way. I absolutely know that doctors treat us differently if we are overweight than they do if we are not. I've experienced this firsthand and it's why I avoided doctors for many, many years. I avoided doctors the extent that:

-I hardly ever got annual exams and would go maybe 5 years between dr appts
-I didn't have birth control pills for at least 14 of the first years of my marriage. On occasion, I'd really get desperate for them and make an appt, be treated like c**p but at least get a year of pills out of it.
-I would be sick and refuse to go even, for example, when I had the flu and was having difficulty breathing unless I sat upright. Many times, I should have gone, but did not.
-I suffered through many years of untreated plantar fasciitis because I went a couple of times and was told that I was fat but not offered any real help (I did eventually pay a podiatrist for custom orthotics and a cortisone injection in my foot)
-I had many years of untreated seasonal allergies that made me absolutely miserable
-I had years of untreated iron deficiency anemia due to long, heavy, periods that I would bring up on those rare visits that I was brave enough to go to. The doctors never did anything about either of those problems, but did like to tell me I needed to lose weight while ignoring the fact that I had at least 10 days per month of heavy periods.
-I finally had untreated episodes of abdominal pain that finally ended me up in the emergency room having to have my gallbladder out on an emergency basis.
-etc., etc.

Again, I'm so sorry you were treated like this. I understand what it's like.

I also wanted to share that my sister (overweight) was treated like this too, for many years. She started having episodes with her heart and she was told it was all in her head. This went on for years until she finally saw a doctor who actually tested her heart and found that she has an arrhythmia. She's had to have two ablations on her heart (where they zap areas of it to try and get rid of the part that's making the abnormal rhythm), but neither were completely successful and she's now on medication for the arrhythmia. She has complained of joint pain and swelling for years and was just ignored and told she needed to lose weight. She lives in constant pain and has for years. How anyone's weight can make the joints swell in their hands is beyond me. Her neck, back, shoulders, elbows, hands, knees and feet are affected.

They also treat you like this when you get older (overweight and elderly get discriminated against). I cannot even begin to tell you what my mom's gone through. She complained for months to her doctor about abdominal pain and he told her she was just old and there was nothing to do for it. Ended up in the emergency room, anemic. They treated her and told her to see her dr. Her dr told her just to take iron. Um...iron deficiency in an older woman is often and sign of cancer and it took my mom ending up in the ER again for her to finally get diagnosed with the colon cancer that had spread to her lymph nodes by that time. This was just ONE of the many times that doctors have ignored her since she got older. I seriously could go on and on about it.

A friend's grandma (elderly, didn't hear well, blind) got a UTI and the doctor asked my friend if she wanted him to treat her grandma or just let the UTI progress until it killed her. My friend said, of course, she wanted her grandma treated. The doctor told her that her grandma was old and that she should just die.

Sigh... Those are only a FEW of the stories that I have to tell about how overweight and elderly people are dismissed and discriminated against by doctors.

Edited by: LOVE4KITTIES at: 10/11/2013 (18:13)
FENWAYGIRL18 Posts: 5,868
10/11/13 5:31 P

I woke up this morning crying in pain, I couldn't even open my eyes any little bit of light was killing me I was crying when hubby called on his way home and my son was trying to help me this morning but it was a NIGHTMARE!!!!!!!!!!!
I took one of my hubbys vikes and had to go to bed before son left for school I cried for over an hour in bed as it felt my eye was going to explode out of my head and the neck pain was just unbearable!!!!!!
Hubby said I don't think your going to make that appointment today I said I'm gonna go WELL I SHOULDN'T of!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My eyes were still so sensitive I sleep with a mask on and anyone who knows me knows I wear sunglasses constantly during the day even watching TV. I went to the doctor the lights so bright I had brought my sleeping mask because I couldn't even open my eyes when I was outside with the sunglasses on. Hubby had to guide me in... ( have chronic lyme and fibromyalgia).
We got into the office and it was so bright I just put the mask on at that point I honestly didn't care how I looked. The woman comes out oh whats wrong with her? I said my eyes are very sensitive I didn't even think I'd make this appointment, she said well you need to fill out paperwork so hubby did it for me...
She made sure when she came out again she said I had to sign and only then did she say oh want me to shut the lights off???????
I said I have an arachnoid cyst on my frontal lobe of my brain and also I was there for my thigh and the amount of pain, she said oh suppose to be just for your leg, I said well I'm here I'm telling you about my head also (HE IS A NEUROLOGIST) and I did mention to her on the phone about my head bothering me. BUT SHE WAS VERY COCKY ON THE PHONE WITH ME SHE PROBABLY DIDN'T MARK THAT PART DOWN.....
The minute I walked in he was cocky, I asked if he could shut the light off in his office he was cocky how am I going to see??????? his blinds were open he could see, then I asked if he could shut the lamp off again cocky well I'm the opposite of you ,you know I have to see... WELL HELLO??????? I'M THE PAYING PATIENT IN EXTREME PAIN and there was still enough light to see in the room!
He said your suppose to be here for your leg only I said well I had mentioned about my head on the phone to , he said well what's going on gave him my history..... he said well you've been dealing with this pain in your head for years so lets forget about your head....... then he said well you have such ,such going on with your leg well your have a fat pocket and I have small needles you ever think of losing weight? he said you know they are saying that fibromyalgia is all in your head... I said well the pain Im feeling is REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I said I was in tears this morning, he said well lets have a look... well you wear tight clothing I said no I don't he said well your wardrobe changes in the winter (as the pain gets worse in the winter months more bearable in summer) I said I'm still wearing the same clothing and at home I'm only in night gowns thats not tight clothing... even my capri's on my are loose I had on a spanx top but has nothing to do with my hip or thigh.... emoticon
He kept talking about how fat I was treated me totally different from when hubby saw him cause hubby is thin, he was friendly and actually very nice to him he had an attitude from the start and just got more and more cocky.
He said oh you have a fat pocket and I have small needles, so his diagnosis was more like hey fat lady go home and lose weight!!!!!!!!!!!!! He says have you thought of losing weight? I said yes I have been I've lost about 80 lbs but have put some on because I'm in so much pain, I said the pain never lessened from me losing weight it never changed at all and I mean that was a significant amount for me to lose....he said well I could maybe give you something for migraines but........
I said I have to be honest it feels like you don't believe me and that your thinking the pain is all in my head and I'm just some fat person...
Now I never swore at him I wasn't cocky I told him how I felt he was treating me and he said he'd pass on treating me????????????? So as we walked out I said to my husband oh he'll pass on treating me he should pass on being paid for this visit cause he didn't even do anything except touch my hip that was it!!!!!!!!! and then he wanted me to sit on a soiled paper that was on the exam table and my hubby said please change that it's soiled cause I couldn't even open my eyes and when we walked in the room he said OH YA I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO SHUT THE LIGHTS OFF IN HERE TOO LIKE I WAS SOME KIND OF LIAR!!!!!!!
I was crying in the car I said to my husband you just saw discrimination against fat people right there!!!!!!! I said he wasn't friendly at all with me but with you he was joking around and nice ... with me I was the fat girl walking in saying I was in pain and he had no empathy for me what so ever!!!!!!!!!!!
I wish I could report him to someone honestly, my husband said I don't know why he wouldn't treat you, you weren't fresh , you didn't swear at him or anything... My hubby said what does he just treat thin people?????????? I said apparrently...
Very unprofessional!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im in tears I feel like I just want to die because I'm sick of being in pain and no one taking me seriously... he said well maybe you should take lyrica I said I've heard the side effects one is possible cancer of sudden death... I said even I'd rather be in pain then start up with cancer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! or die!!!!!!!!!
I asked him to write down the name of what I had going on with my leg he said oh you can remember this name I said no I can't it was a huge word he didnt even want to write the name of what is wrong with my leg on a paper!!!!!!!!!!!! so disgusted!!!!!!

Edited by: FENWAYGIRL18 at: 10/11/2013 (17:36)
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