It has been a long time since I wrote but I am happy to say today is the 7th day I am binge free. Seven days ago I decided to become mindful of what I was doing so I ate my breakfast and then on my phone I have a stop watch and I set it every time I felt I wanted to eat after breakfast. I tried it six times every time setting the watch for 2 mins and then my urge passed. I was so happy this was working for me......and then it happened...something upset me and I ran into my kitchen and took a piece of chocolate cake and as I was eating it I felt this calming come over my body as if I was getting what I needed.......THE SUGAR!!!!! I felt as if I was a drug addict or I was a alcoholic I felt so good inside. I sat and cried so hard because I realized at that moment I was addicted to Sugar...I was a sugar addict and that scared me so much. I realized that I could sit and have two glasses of wine at dinner if I wanted to and I would not need anymore after that because I am not an alcoholic....BUT I could not eat a few pieces of candy or just one piece of cake without wanted more and more and more. I realized at that moment the sugar was the reason for my binging. I went cold turkey, I have not had any sugar in seven days and I feel so in control. I am not on a diet right now only because I don't want to do this all at one time. I am having what I want to eat for breakfast lunch and dinner. I tested fruit to make sure that did not trigger me to binge because there is so much sugar in fruit and I was fine. I even took a little jelly on my toast and that was also fine. It was so strange for me a few days ago I had to make chocolate chip pancakes which has always been a favorite in my family for breakfast, and when I was putting the chips in the pancakes it was very hard for me. I truly understand how addicts feel and how hard it is when you feel this need to satisfy your wants and needs. I am so proud that this is working for me and I just wanted to share with everyone my story with the hope that someone else will read this and maybe it will help them. The other day there was a commercial on tv about this chocolate covered cookie that I used to love eating and I said to myself....you know how it tastes you don't ever have to taste it again. I know that for right now I am so strong and I pray everyday to stay strong. Thank you for reading and allowing me to share.
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