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13 8/19/12 10:24 P
I am new to this site. My story is one of years of excuses, procrastinating, starts and stops, acceptance and denial, and finally I got smacked down and smacked down hard. My weight got up to 285 and my body decided enough is enough and I suffered a tibial stress fracture and a torn meniscus. And for no other apparent reason than the weight was just too much for my body. Six months of tests and pretty serious pain and finally surgery and a mandatory two weeks on the couch. Now, I am down to a cane from a walker but still have a month of physical therapy ahead. Essentially, I screwed myself with all my years of careless treatment of my body. I hobbled myself.
But, something good has come of my downfall and that is the beginning of finding my way back. Sitting on the couch gave me a lot of time to think. A lot of time. And during those 2 weeks and another 5 days since I have eaten as I should have all along- thoughtfully instead of mindlessly, healthily instead of gluttonly, and wisely instead of pointlessly. There is nothing like being taken down to the lowest of lows to find the determination to rise out of those miserable depths. Those lows have included true shame and self-humiliation, self-disgust and self-revulsion.
However, it is AMAZING how the 19 days I have under my belt finding my way back have lifted my despair and gave me true hope that I can do this! Perhaps I am one of those people who really needs to fall before I can rise. This time I know I will do this and make this change for life as it is truly my life, my quality of life that is at stake!
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