Having said that, I will also add that I "allow" myself a splurge once a week - usually a doughnut (major weekness). And I usually find that it doesn't taste as good as I thought it would.
However (and I need to work on this) - I STILL EAT THE WHOLE THING. I'd like to get to the point where I stop eating and throw the remainder away.
Just an idea - maybe you need to loosen up just a bit and let yourself have some of those splurges. But you're also right in that you need to cut yourself off after the first beer, piece of cheesecake, etc. I think that may be the hardest part.
tastes can change. tonight i had a veggie burger for dinner because i happen to like them. ten years ago i was only trying them in order to show support for some veg friends at my school. eleven years ago i spent a lot of time making fun of people who ate rabbit food and loved burgers, particularly from fast food joints. ten years before that and i wouldn't touch a burger at a fast food joint and would throw an absolute fit unless i got nuggets. and now i would probably rather try eating tree bark than a fast food nugget as just the smell nauseates me.
it didn't take all of that time for my tastes to change, but it did take time. and three or four weeks just doesn't cut it for most people. it can take six weeks to change a single habit and it's even harder when you do more than one at once, which is one of the reason that so many people fall off the wagon -trying to change too much at once. so while i know that a good part of that is a vent, you do just have to give it time. a year from now it will still be hard, but easier than it is right now. and if you aren't finding new foods that you do like, you'll eventually fall off. you have to work to find a balance between the flavors and textures you like and the calorie ranges you need to be in to keep your weight where you need it to be.
Fitness Minutes: (35,001)
5,088 12/19/12 6:08 P
I feel this way sometimes too, but in the end I love how I look and feel way more than eating cookies, cupcakes, chocolate, cheesecake, pizza you name it. I always feel like crap after many indulgences anyway. It took a lot of time, but now I actually want to eat healthy, and I never feel like I'm forcing myself to eat healthy.
Fitness Minutes: (7,228)
531 12/19/12 5:54 P
i heard you. The other day, I was doing my salad routine, the tall, fit, handsome guy next to me was having 6 chicken wings and beer. I seriously teared up. With a moment of self pity.
Not so much i want chicken wings + beer. Its more the fact that it is soooo not fair. But, i learned to identify my emotions: was i upset because i want wings? or was i upset because life isnt fair?
Then, i moved on to deal with "life isnt fair" thinking, rather than go eat some wings to prove " life IS fair".
Hope you get what im saying. Its a hard battle. But, we are all in this together! Hang in there.
Also, have you read:"pleasure trap" by dr. Doug Lisle. check it out. It explains a lot of my craves that I didnt seem to be able to get rid off.
So here is my ???"s for you. Do you love yourself enough that the food doesn't matter that much. Remember you can have cheesecake. One small slice not the whole pie. You can be proud of yourself. You can workout to burn cheesecake calories. when it truly does become a lifestyle change those food issues won't matter so much anymore. YOU CAN DO THIS...!
I have these moments too, where I just want to say "Screw it!" and eat the offending food. Other times, I am proud and happy with my accomplishments so I don't care. More often than not, it's the other way around lately - especially with the holidays and all the yummy food around. Then I just think....It's just FOOD. What is it, really? It means nothing. So what if I don't want to eat the cupcake, or can't eat it, etc. Just move on to something else and forget about it
For this time of year, I know I already told myself that on Christmas, I am allowing myself to eat such things. Not giving myself full license to eat without abandon, but you can bet I will be eating that cupcake and my uncle's almond cookies. Probably more than one And my sister-in-law's to die for Baked Ziti. And it's okay. It's a rare occasion and only one day.
As for feeling like you're in this for the rest of your life, I do feel that over a long (or very long) period of time, it will get better. Yes, it is a pain in the a**, and a big responsibility to take care of your body, and we can tell by the state of Americans that most of us don't treat our bodies with this respect. It's part of the problem with the Standard American Diet. I know it's hard watching everyone around your gorge, but even the "skinny" ones (naturally skinny ones) probably aren't in the best state of health internally. Just because they are "skinny" doesn't mean they are "healthy".
It's tough out there facing most of these people and realizing you want/need to do it differently...I get it. But I do think with time and a he** of a lot of patience and persistance, it will become like second nature. It takes a lot of time to break bad habits and unhealthy thought patterns.
Fitness Minutes: (42,043)
789 12/19/12 4:27 P
I still get pangs of that occasionally.
I had a bit of a lightbulb moment when I realized that it wasn't the food itself that I missed (if I want a food, I eat a reasonable portion of it), but the freedom, for lack of a better term. I missed being able to shrug off a bad day at work by devouring a pizza, or grabbing a bag of chips and a chocolate bar just because I wanted it. I missed being able to just not think about eating, even though most of my weight problems stemmed from that attitude. I call it my whiny inner child, because it's like a brat who just wants easy treats all the time. In a way, I actually had to mourn the loss of that fake freedom and separate the behaviour from the food itself.
I did find it helped to learn how to work special foods and events into my everyday diet. In the beginning, that meant iron control - I'd plan for one cookie at a work party, track it hours ahead of time, and then hold myself to that, even though my willpower was screaming at me. Eventually it paid off, and it did get easier, to the point where taking one item (or ordering a small, or skipping it all together if I don't really want it) is fairly easy and mindless. It won't always be easy, but it does get easier.
I hated my friends who could eat what they wanted and still stay skinny. But ya know what? I'm a stronger person because I have actually had to WORK for this body. I am self disciplined, which is a good skill to have. Now I don't even want the food that made me miserable when I thought about giving it up. And if I do want it occasionally I know that I am self disciplined enough to have a small serving and move on. Knowing that you are in control of yourself in an incredibly powerful feeling. Wait for that feeling.
AND you won't be like this for the rest of your life. Eventually you will so wrapped up in your new lifestyle that eating like you used to, or used to want to, won't factor in very often.
Fitness Minutes: (120)
2,171 12/19/12 2:51 P
I feel like that too sometimes. I was getting a little upset about it the other night. Sort of a "LIFE IS NOT FAIR" moment. My BF is like your guy at work. He can eat and eat and eat and not gain anything, plus, he doesn't care for sweets at all. I would be lying if I said I wasn't jealous of that. I wish I hated sweets and was fine with eating boring food every day. I'm a big foodie and cook, and sometimes think "oh well, maybe being fat wasn't so bad" when faced with a new recipe that looks delicious but isn't healthy at all (mac and cheese recipes, I'm looking at you!).
I think it's especially hard this time of year when there's temptations left and right. As I posted today in another thread though, I'm just going to enjoy myself. I don't want to be miserable at holiday parties. If I gain a few, so be it. I'll just take it off again once the holidays are over and the temptations are back to being minimal. I've already been thinking about the meals I'm going to make that first week of January to get me back on track.
For the last three or four weeks I've been faithfully sticking to my calorie intake, balancing my carbs, fat, and protein, and doing workouts every Mon-Sat for half an hour each day. I was already fairly svelte, but I gotta admit that I really like some of the results I'm getting already. I am eager to see how things progress, especially if I manage to stick with strength training over an extended period of time. I've never been able to stick it out on that before.
But at the same time, almost every day I have a deep hatred and loathing for all of this "being responsible." I'm not just tossing out words there. I mean it. I truly HATE it. I HATE the fact that I can't go have a big old slice of the cheesecake that everyone else is enjoying here at work today. I HATE the fact that I can't try out all the Christmas cookies that people are baking and bringing in. I HATE the fact that when I go on vacation next week I won't be able to enjoy my friend's Christmas and New Year's parties the way everyone else is going to be able to. I HATE it. I truly HATE it.
It makes me really miserable. What's even worse is that this isn't just for now. Being responsible with what I eat is for the rest of my life. For the rest of my life I won't be able to eat sweets, desserts, and fried foods the way that I really, really, really, really want to.
Yes, I know that you're not supposed to swear off any particular food. But the problem is that when I have something "bad," it ALWAYS turns into a trigger food that ruins the rest of my day. One beer turns into four by the time the night is over. One cupcake turns into five. One cookie turns into six. Yes, every once in a while I can manage to control myself and just have one... but not often.
Then there's the guy here at the office who is skinny as a rail and always eats a heaping plate of food and indulges in all the desserts. Yes, I know he works out, but I asked him about it. He doesn't exercise all that much more than I do. He's just genetically able to cram himself full and never have any repercussions. Meanwhile, I step back from almost every meal still feeling hungry. Still wanting more.
I HATE it. I truly HATE it. I don't want to give up, but I just don't know what to do to make this easy. My life is a constant battle between my love for food and not wanting to get fat again (I currently weigh 170 lbs, I used to weigh 225 lbs once upon a time).
I don't know. I guess this is just a rant. I guess I just need to vent and blow off steam. Thanks for reading.
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