Connecting with others that have experienced and felt what you are feeling and receiving assurances and support is a great suggestion. Here is a link to help you find the Sparkteam that might be the best fit.
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Are you a member of any of the maintainers teams on Spark? You should consider taking a look there and chatting to the people who have switched to maintaining. They will have a lot of tips for you!
It sounds to me that you never really changed from thinking about this as not a diet but a lifestyle change. Losing weight is only half the battle, as you now know, you have to get yourself into a a routine that you can stick with. Most of that is mental and you don't seem to be quite there. For example, freaking out over a 4 pound 'gain'. Heck I fluctuate by more than 4 pounds at any given time of the week or month based on womanly cycle and fluid retention. As any maintainer will tell you, you should have a weight *range* that you are comfortable with: a cushion of quite a few pounds on each site of your goal weight which you consider to be fine.
Also, if you are stressing over your food choices still, you haven't really establishes how to eat good, once and for all. Again, much of that is mental. As time goes by and you stay at your low weight, you will start to gain confidence in yourself. Again, turn to the maintainers team and see what tips they have for you!
I need some guidance. I have lost all my weight and have kept it off for a little over a year. Lately, I have been having major anxiety over maintaining. I freaked out in August when I gained 4 pounds and have been trying to lose that. My whole life is obsessed with staying at this weight. I stress over all my food choices and most if not all are healthy choices. I don't want to be fat again and I don't want to let anyone down. Help!!!!!
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