You've gotten some good advice in this thread. The things you are saying we take very seriously. If you are really having these thoughts, you need to call a suicide and/or crisis hotline right away. There are 1-800 numbers for this type of thing, so you don't need to have somewhere local to go or long distance on your phone.
SparkPeople is a great place for support, but we are not equipped to deal with these kinds of issues. You need to talk to a professional who specializes in these kinds of things.
Fitness Minutes: (2,560)
12/4/13 2:54 P
Eowyn, and anyone else who may be having suicidal thoughts, here is a hotline for you: 1800 273 TALK (8255) Please call and talk to someone. The world will be a smaller place without you.
I am so sorry your parents do not understand....maybe speak with your doctor and let him/her discuss with your parents the facts..with the help of the health care team, some things about it may get better.
Dialysis does what kidneys no longer can do... it's not your fault....some kidney diseases run in the family....and your doctor can give them specific information about your disease.
Surround yourself with positive friends for support....I wish you the best.
12/3/13 6:10 P
Hunny, you need to go see a counselor, especially if you are thinking of ending your life, no matter what the reason.
You need to talk to a professional who can help you navigate through this tough time.
The best exercise in the world is to bend down and help someone up.
Fitness Minutes: (44,704)
6,775 12/3/13 4:55 P
It sounds like you have a toxic relationship with your family. I recommend getting the book Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud.
You are good person; you need to give your parent some space for them to tell you something like that; they not worth taking your life over. So stay away from your parent. If they call and start talking negative cut the call short maybe they they get the message you not going to listen too all negative comments and learn to talk to you in a more positive fashions.
Fitness Minutes: (35,296)
12/3/13 2:35 P
My dear, you simply CAN'T let those untrue comments propel you to do something even more foolish! You have been a blessing to many people on this board (as well as other people, I'm sure) - so don't think for a nano-second that you should give credence to their claim. Shame on them but don't YOU believe them, either.
You are way better than that!!
Fitness Minutes: (226,215)
12/3/13 12:46 P
It is definitely NOT your fault. !
Don't let your parents terrible comments upset you. Your illness doesn't have anything to do with what you ate. If they want to blame anyone, tell them to blame their ancestors for being genetically pre-disposed to kidney disease.
How do your parents feel about a 10 year old child being diagnosed with leukemia ? In their minds, the child must have done something wrong. Well, neither of you did anything wrong to end up with the diseases you have. Good people get sick.
You need to stay strong ! Don't get into a shouting match with them. it's not worth the energy. They won't listen to reason. They're upset about something and taking it out on you.
My parents keep blaming me for my kidney failure but it wasn't my fault at all! Who in their right mind would want kidney failure?! I've already tried my best to prolong the life of my kidneys thru dietary control, as per the doctors' instructions but my kidneys failed after 7 years anyway.
Now, my parents keep rubbing my face in it, saying I didn't control my diet but I did! But my kidneys failed anyway! Btw, a transplant is not an option bcoz I can't afford the meds that u have to take for the rest of your life (anti-rejection drugs). And bcoz I have SLE (google it).
I'm just coming to terms with my dialysis schedule & the fact that I can't spend money indiscriminately but my parents won't leave me in peace, saying that it is all my fault!
I'm so upset that I'm thinking of ending my life bcoz my parents also call me 'good for nothing'.
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