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DAHLIA444444 SparkPoints: (292)
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Posts: 23
10/14/12 12:15 A

I do an 'alternate day diet' where I eat low calories every other day..those days are called down days. Anyway, a week ago my husband made brownies on one of my down days! Nothing like smelling brownies all day. It was extremely difficult but I didn't give in. It's so difficult sometimes to watch your weight when your spouse is not.
Hang in there! emoticon

LOVEXAVIE SparkPoints: (42,597)
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Posts: 2,443
10/13/12 4:21 P

UNIDENT's correct.
And if you want to cut the fat, it's 2 parts chicken to one part husband.


UNIDENT Posts: 33,498
10/12/12 2:29 P

I'm sorry, I just keep laughing when I see this thread title in the forum list ...

Husband and Chicken Stew? There are laws against that, you know. Stick with just the chicken!


LOVEXAVIE SparkPoints: (42,597)
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Posts: 2,443
10/12/12 2:10 P


No need to get in a stew about the stew! Sorry - couldn't resist the pun.
Ah, but t's never about the _____ (fill in the blank - in this case, "stew"), is it?

I don't know if this may help or not, but men and women think differently about things. Does your hubby cook all the time? If not, he may have been especially proud of his creation and offering it to you was done as a loving act. He may have interpreted your rejection of the stew as a rejection of his love or even him.

If he's generally there for you most of the time, my suggestion would be to fawn all over him for making such a delicious stew and have a cup. Eat slowly nd feign fullness or tell him it's so good you want to make it last for a couple meals. One cup won't derail your efforts, I promise.
I applaud you for wanting to track everything, but perhaps think of it this way: you are on this healthful journey for life. And you have married your husband for life. Sometimes, life has moments where we can't practically control every detail (count every calorie, etc) and part of this whole journey is learning to navigate this very thing. Fifteen months since I began my journey and I'm still practicing this part!

So view the occasional not-tracking (or estimating) as practice for all the future times. That might take some of the anxiety out of it.

In the end, you want to learn how to manage the eating part as a normal, natural part of your healthful journey and you want a happy spouse, too.

Good luck to you both!

ASHAIXIM Posts: 2,616
10/12/12 11:52 A

Ugh. I'm so sorry. Sometimes people are jerks. I suspect he was unhappy about something else (you not doing for him? not getting the yummy (bad) food he's used to? feeling threatened by you bettering yourself?). emoticon You can always come here!! We will support you no matter what :) Here's a link to a group I belong to that is completely devoted to support.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Edited by: ASHAIXIM at: 10/12/2012 (11:53)
SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (228,901)
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Posts: 25,921
10/12/12 6:35 A

I can understand why she didn't eat the stew. I wouldn't have either, merely because I couldn't track the calories. My daughter often offers me something that she has baked, but unless I am not counting calories that day (not very often) I won't eat any even when it is real healthy.


LARISSA_NY Posts: 200
10/12/12 6:30 A

Your husband handled this badly all the way around, but I don't understand why you didn't just eat the stew. Not after he started yelling at you about it, obviously, but in the first place. Stew is healthy, nutrient-dense, and usually not particularly high in calories. It's not cheesecake. You could have picked out the dumplings and potatoes if it made you more comfortable. And why did he get so mad about it? Surely he's familiar with the concept of leftovers.

All I'm saying is that it's pretty clear the issue here was not the stew for either one of you. Maybe you should have a talk with him and figure out what the issue actually is.

SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (228,901)
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Posts: 25,921
10/11/12 10:50 P

It sounds like your husband "listens", but only things he WANTS to listen to! Sometimes it takes a knock back like this for them to put their REAL listening ears on and take note of what is said! I would suggest to him that he portion up the stew and freeze in individual serves so that HE can enjoy it at other times. THAT is also cost effective!


ANGELWENDYMAMA SparkPoints: (54,114)
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Posts: 4,868
10/11/12 10:43 P

Ahh.. spouses.. can't live with 'em.. Can't live without them.. Well, some people can. I haven't decided yet if I can or not, but sometimes I wonder.

So tell him he can freeze some for another time.. I bet chicken stew keeps well in the freezer, doesn't it? The other thought is that you CAN have anything you can in moderation. How about 1 cup of it and skip the dumplings? Or you can consider teaching him (or give him a sparkrecipe) how to make a very lowfat kind of chicken soup that you could enjoy, too.

SP_COACH_NANCY SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (112,042)
Posts: 46,222
10/11/12 6:39 P


I am so sorry to hear you are having such a difficult day. Have you tried talking to your husband about how important this journey is to you? You probably don't want to do this when he is cooking a nice dinner for you, but when you are both in a good spot to chat. Below are a couple of links to some SparkPeople articles you may find helpful as well.

Take care!

Coach Nancy

10/11/12 6:17 P

So, I have lost weight in the past. I used to weigh 405 pounds. Got down to 240. And, then went back up to 335. Now - I am at 322 and something is truly annoying me right now.

My husband has been there for me every step of the way.

But tonight... he *decided* to make Chicken Stew. With carrots, potatoes, dumplings, etc. He asked me ONCE if *I* wanted any. I said, "no thanks." Only because I am tracking my calories (and, he knows this!). So he continued to make his stew.

Now - after an hour of making his stew - he starts YELLING at me "Well, I would have not made so MUCH stew if I had known you were not going to eat any".


But *I* HAD told him that *I* didn't want any. But there he was ... standing in the kitchen YELLING at me.

HE *knows* that I am an emotional eater. But I WILL not give him the satisfaction of making me fall off my journey. I am getting REALLY tired of feeling like I have next to no support at home. :(

Sorry for all the caps and stuff in this message.. I'm just really upset right now and really sad. :(

Thanks for reading.

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