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How to wait on a relationship...(see first post)



 
 
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Author: Message: Sort First Post on Top


TRACYCD
SparkPoints: (5,959)
Fitness Minutes: (4,315)
Posts: 158
3/5/13 10:33 P

He wants to surprise you. It will happen when you least expect it, so start doing things to distract yourself from these thoughts.. Live in the moment and do everything you normally do and what comes naturally. I bet you'll be surprised when he finally does it and it will be wonderful!



07SOJO
Posts: 1,628
3/5/13 10:19 A

If you trust that he loves you and is sincere about his intentions (not just saying what he thinks you want to hear), then try to be patient and enjoy the now. The future will happen! emoticon



ELISAJANE57
Posts: 737
3/5/13 10:04 A

Maybe he already has the ring and he's waiting to surprise you at the right moment. My DH did that to me. We knew 6 weeks into our dating that we were meant to be but we waited a year to actually get married. A year is a long time in the culture that I was raised in. I'm LDS, aka Mormon and we are known for meeting and getting married within 6 months, so 1 year was a milestone. We were both not ready for marriage when we first started dating. Hang in there, and like another poster suggested, just enjoy your relationship. Not everyone can have that special love that you have. I wish you the best.



KJFITNESSDUDE
Posts: 15,781
3/5/13 9:23 A

Huh, your original post didn't sound stressful...... *shrugs*.......anyway, for me, I DO get stressed and something like your situation WOULD make me all twitchy and such so for me, I'd have to keep myself preoccupied by getting mentally involved with something entirely different or do an activity together or something.

Good Luck to you!
emoticon



BLUENOSE63
SparkPoints: (95,897)
Fitness Minutes: (74,165)
Posts: 2,905
3/5/13 5:37 A

I agree with ONEZOMBIECAT -- go ahead and ask him as it sounds like you are positive he will eventually ask you!

I asked my husband to marry me, 23 years ago yet when I mentioned that he denies it and said it was he who asked me.....just a running joke between us.

Good luck



JUSTKLH
Posts: 1,489
3/5/13 12:59 A

Perhaps I was unclear. The point is I am not stressing, just trying to figure out how to wait in the meantime. This is one of those things that I can't (and don't want to) control so I am trying to find some real, applicable ways to be ok with where we are now rather than desiring more. Sort of like being trying ok with 8 oz of chocolate milk when you really want chocolate cake with a fantastic buttercream icing lol.

@YoJulez: I think that's the best advice I've gotten. I'm going to try to do that; kind of embrace the special-ness of now. We will actually never have another time like this. Great perspective :)

Thanks all



YOJULEZ
SparkPoints: (15,605)
Fitness Minutes: (120)
Posts: 2,171
3/4/13 6:52 P

I'm in a somewhat similar situation... we live together etc. BUT, I look at it as, "OK, say he doesn't propose soon, then what, am I going to leave and go back to being single?". The answer to that is no, so I just enjoy our time we have together. I know that after we get married we'd probably start a family pretty quickly afterwards as we're not getting any younger, so this time we have together now, which is pretty footloose and fancy free, is not something we'll have for forever so I might as well enjoy it now.

I think it's a very good sign that he's already hinted at saving for a ring etc. That's a big step. My BFF was with her now-husband for 4 years before he proposed, they had bought a home together, and everything. One day she was complaining to me that she didn't think he'd ever propose. But what she didn't know is that he was planning a beautiful proposal for her, that included bringing a sushi chef to their home to make them dinner, and a flamenco guitarist to come play them music during dinner. I was in on it as her and I worked together, and he had me making sure she would leave work on time on that particular day. When she was complaining to me about it I just said "Oh maybe he's waiting until your birthday", which was the following January... he proposed in August :)

So just relax, and enjoy each other. You won't always have this kind of time together, so just have fun and what comes, comes. It sounds like you're definitely moving in the right direction.

Edited by: YOJULEZ at: 3/4/2013 (18:52)


TACDGB
Posts: 6,024
3/4/13 6:27 P

so why are you stressing over this.....? Sounds like you are ment for each other and he isn't going any where. Enjoy the time you have together and if he wants this too it will happen. Be careful you don't want to push him away by being to pushy about this.



LOUNMOUN
Posts: 1,227
3/4/13 5:11 P

Don't wait. Ask him to marry you.
Tell him that waiting for an expensive engagement ring is not important to you. Tell him that you would like to marry him now and do not want to wait to spend your lives together.
Since you have been through pre-engagement counseling together and talking about marriage this shouldn't seem like pressure or obsession.



I_HEART_MY_FAM
Posts: 1,809
3/4/13 4:44 P

Calm down ands relax is my advice you are stressing over it and taking the fun out of it. Just chill and get it off your mind so when it happens it will be special.



JUSTKLH
Posts: 1,489
3/4/13 3:38 P

My question is how do/did you wait on a proposal? I almost didn't post this because I know the most common reaction to a woman who is "waiting" for a man to take the relationship to the next level is that she is wedding obsessed, pressuring him, or needs to move on. I am not in any of those categories. My SO and I have been seeing each other for about 3.5 years and are very much in love. I have felt strongly that he is the one for about 2 years. We talk about marriage and a future together a lot and just finished a two month pre-engagement counseling course about 3 months ago (his suggestion)...now I find myself waiting. I am not one of those women who just wants a "big day" (I actually hate that term) or to be married for the status of it. I actually want to be his wife specifically because I know I want to spend the rest of my life with him and so I feel like "why put it off?". He feels similarly and he's hinted at saving for a ring. So I am wondering what kinds of things I can do to help the wait seem like not such a big deal. Any suggestions?



 
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