I think my husband is on the verge of telling me the exact same thing.
My heart breaks for your situation, though I am feeling numb in mine.
Thank goodness for SparkPeople to bring us together & up through the muck!
Fitness Minutes: (57,053)
3,204 1/25/13 2:31 P
My friend Moses was an emotional and physically abused husband.His wife beat on him and brought his self esteem so low,he didnt believe any woman would want him...WRONG!!He finally had enough 7 years ago when she hit him with a broken beer bottle and almost blinded him.He met Sam a year later,started therapy and now is married to the love of his life.She tells him on a daily basis she loves him!!Life is too short to live it another day with someone that does not feel the same.After the comes hang in there!!
I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for almost 16 years. I ended up asking him to leave, believing that he would realize what he was losing and his response was to file for divorce. I didn't want a divorce, still don't. BUT I know that you have to keep on keeping on. Your kids need you. Sharing kids was never something that I aspired to doing, but we are able to share them amicably. I am not sure that I have any real words of wisdom, but I do know that it does get better. Letting you know that I am rooting for you!!
I'm sorry that you are going through this. I found out November 1st that my husband of 26 years felt the same way about me, he almost used the very words your wrote. This is heartbreaking to me. I know in the long run everything will be fine, it's sometimes hard to believe when you're in the middle of it. After reading all of these posts, I am going to start working out regularly.
After being together with my husband (soon to be ex) for more than half of my life, we are getting currently seperated. Last year I sunk to a low place where even my kids couldn't make my smile. That's when I decided to take the bull by the horns and get out of this sad, bad mood. At first the only motivation was for my kids, that is what got me out of bed in the morning exercising. After a few weeks, it evolved that the exercise was a huge help for me. I felt better, stronger, and started looking better after each workout. It became my new addiction. It is cliche but the truth is when life throws you lemons, learn to make lemondae. Start slow, you're learning to figure yourself all over again and you're not alone I'm a single mom with two elementary school kids, husband move out two months ago, and I can juggle, school, gym and working better than I did with him here.
My wife of 29 years decided she did not love me about a year ago. We were divorced in July and I fell apart. I did not see it coming and I certainly did not want to be divorced. I was a mess throughout July. If it was not for my friends I don't know if I would have made it. Well, I'm out of the deep end of the pity pool and ready to prove to myself that I can be a better person. So I am back on spark after ignoring the emails for about 10 months. I woke up today and decided to spark up once again!!!!!!!!! I have a lot to prove to myself!! and it all starts here!
I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this. I cannot imagine the difficult emotions you are dealing with right now due to your situation. I know it's really hard when you've dedicated so much time of your life to something and someone. Someone once told me, "We are not defined by how we fall down, but by how we pick our selves back up again." I know it sounds cliche, but this separation does not define who you are. Take your time to grieve, and then take a deep breath, and use this as motivation. Get back out there. Make yourself one sexay mama that he will be SORRY that he ever even thought about separating from.
Sometimes when life's most difficult situations hit us, we have to remorph ourselves, like a Phoenix, who's reborn from the fire of it's own death. Make a new you. Get a new hairstyle. Get a mani/pedi. Hit that gym. Eat healthy. Define yourself by who you WANT to be.
Edited by: ATTACCA at: 12/26/2012 (20:30)
Fitness Minutes: (4,295)
344 12/24/12 10:05 A
so sorry this is happening when my husband and i went through it I fueled my fire by thinking of my kids and i wanted to be sexy so i just tried tried tried make sure you do things for yourself too!!!!
I know this process can be heartbreaking. My husband left me repeatedly and was emotionally abusive until I finally put a stop to it. But caring for three kids with no car, in a rural area, has not been easy. You will need a good support system. I know this because not having one has made my attempt to get back on my feet very challenging. We're surviving and I'm working on my Master's degree online. But I've neglected my health and am feeling/seeing the effects of it. Keep in contact with SP members for support and know that even if you have to make it on your own for a while, it's better than staying with someone who doesn't appreciate you or want to make the effort to maintain a commitment. You are worth more than that.
I'm sorry for this sudden change and that your significant other is treating you as if you're not significant. I know that can't be easy. I highly recommend you speak to your doctor if you feel yourself getting depressed about this. Therapy may be good for you and your kids during this transitional phase. Instead of going to the fridge when you're angry or upset, go for a walk or for a bike ride. I suggest this a lot, but angry cleaning helps me out quite a bit. Allow yourself to grieve. This is a loss. Now more than ever is the best time to exercise. It really is. Even if you don't feel like it, just think how much better you'll feel and how accomplished you'll feel once you finish. *hugs* He may not deserve for you to be healthier, but you and your babies do.
Fitness Minutes: (65)
2 12/14/12 4:11 P
I am 42 and just found out that the man I love for 18 years is not in Love with me anymore. He says he is tired of living this life. He doesn't communicate and is always on the phone or gone. We have 4 children and I have been trying to lose weight not seriously for 6 months. I a work at home mom and coach my daughters school Basketball team and Volleyball. I am always on the go. Just found out my hormones were very low Testosterone, progesterone, estrogen, cortisol and thyroid, the Dr. put me on Meds to feel better. I am at a lose and want to try and stay on track to get healthier and feel better but it is so hard now that this personal situation is happening. I am at a lose. :(
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