Knowing myself like I do, Iwould tactfully invite her to come with me and visit my hairdresser and maybe just make a few little adjustments. All my friends know my hairdresser can perform miracles so maybe she wouldn't be too insulted. One can only hope for the best.
Fitness Minutes: (11,796)
5,855 11/27/12 9:27 A
The advice I have read in this thread could apply to men as well. I would never be the first to mention it. If the owner of the haircut brings it up, then I would consider making a positive comment. You had better know the person really, really well to make a negative comment.
Fitness Minutes: (2,227)
1,427 11/27/12 9:18 A
NSMANN,You are so right! Our society can be so critical of women! It's our responsibility, as women, to be supportive of one another!
I definitely would not say anything negative. When it comes to personal appearance we ladies need to stick together and not tear each other down. She knows already whether she likes the cut or not. You might as well make her feel good about it; why would you even THINK of criticizing her?
If the person didn't ask for your opinion you don't have to say anything at all.
I would find out how they feel about the haircut. "I see you got your haircut. It is a pretty big change for you. How do you feel about it?"
If they did ask my opinion on their new cut and seem happy about the cut then I would find one positive thing to say about it at least- not a lie. "I bet it is easy to care for when it is shorter" "It looks much cooler for summer" I might then add that I preferred their previous style.
If they ask but seem unhappy about the cut I might say that I also don't think that style suits them and ask if they plan to let it grow out or try something different.
I would never use the words hideous or horrendous when speaking to them about it.
Say I preferred the old style, but I am an old fogey!
Fitness Minutes: (2,227)
1,427 11/26/12 1:30 P
It depends... If you've always had an open relationship, gently say you liked it better before. However, if she's sensitive, I'd "fib" and say "It's fine". Deep down most people already know if they look silly or not! Sometimes reminding a person isn't worth it. It's like when I've gained weight back in the past, I know my close friends see it... But they're kind, so they don't acknowledge it. I would feel terrible if someone pointed it out. Maybe think of your friend's situation this way... All (most) of us on SP can relate to feeling self-conscious, at one point or another, about weight gain. Hope this helps!
If she's a close friend and she asked for your honest opinion, I would break it to her gently.....
If she's not a close friend, I would keep quiet about it....
Fitness Minutes: (76,885)
2,953 11/26/12 11:00 A
I always live by the "can't say anything nice rule" unless it is life threatening. You know people always ask me to tell them the truth and when I say, "do you really want the truth" they say yes.....I would say about 25% of the time it works out well. So the odds arent' in your favour for telling her what you think......
if it is a close friend, ask her how she likes it, if she loves it then keep quite.
Fitness Minutes: (4,450)
563 11/26/12 10:03 A
lie looks good! but say you liked the otherway better
Fitness Minutes: (59,399)
3,509 11/26/12 9:55 A
I wouldn't comment on it unless she asked my opinion. If we're close friends, I would tell her the truth in the nicest way possible. If we're not close, then I would compliment some other aspect of her hair. "It looks so shiny!" "Your hair is so healthy and the color is just perfect."
Fitness Minutes: (132,233)
5,952 11/26/12 9:46 A
If they hate it then I will commiserate and try to help come up with a solution, but if I think at all that they like the haircut then I would never say anything negative! I think it would hurt if someone told me they didn't like my haircut.
Fitness Minutes: (19,755)
720 11/26/12 8:35 A
. . . that depends . . . it can all be perspective.
Fitness Minutes: (87,796)
11,709 11/26/12 8:35 A
gently say in a nice way that you liked it better before but only if she asks. If she doesn't ask I would ignore it, she will get the message.
Well first you hope since you haven't made a decision that the friend is not also on SP. Learning that a friend didn't like something and then went to social media to find out how to react to something would hurt more than just telling the friend that you really don't like it.
Fitness Minutes: (123,617)
5,283 11/26/12 4:58 A
Say you liked it a little better before the haircut-that it was familiar. Seemed more "her".
depends - If she ASK me if I like it, I don't lie - I would say that I liked it better before. But for ex. a very close friend of mine got always a not so suiting haircut and its simply not a topic we talk about. Last time I saw her she wore a very very ugly jumper. Grey, polyacrylic, with a very odd pattern, to thick, to shapeless. She was very proud and said that she liked it so much, but her husband not ... I told her, that I'm with her husband this time .... But I laughed and she was not offended :)
Fitness Minutes: (30,864)
2,259 11/26/12 3:40 A
Depends on your relationship with the friend, and whether they have asked for your honest opinion. For a good friend who has asked for the truth - you owe her nothing less, but be gentle....
Fitness Minutes: (23,306)
848 11/26/12 1:51 A
I know in the past with my sister, I just said, "Oh, that's cute; I like it better long, but it's cute..." She grew it back out. This is a tough one! Good luck :)
Fitness Minutes: (33,189)
21,846 11/26/12 1:28 A
Years ago my MIL painted her house a really hideous colour combination. She was very proud of it. I never made any comment about whether I did or didn't like it but kind of skirted around it so that it was open-ended. I told my son about it while we were on our way up to her place, and warned him that she would ask him - he was 16 at the time. He told me not to worry. Well, she DID ask him, He just responded "Well, Nana, you are a trend setter!" She was very happy with that, and he got away with NOT telling her just what he thought of it!
Is there some way you can apply this to your friend?
I know when my mother told me she didn't like my hair cut (which I really DID like) I was a wee bit hurt. Mind you, I hadn't asked her for her opinion, either!
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