I like your "What I feel lucky for" list. I'll have new students in my classroom this year, I think I can use this as an ice-breaker for the beginning of school. As the year progresses, we can add to or edit. Thank you for sharing!
I like to have what I call "What I feel lucky for" lists. They are a list of things I am so thankful to have from my cats cute purr, to my sister and her lazing once a week rendez vous we have. These are the lists I turn to when others try to fill me with negativity. One of my fav quotes are Let your haters be your motivators and I use it every day to remind myself I can do this
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159 7/2/14 1:03 P
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7/1/14 11:34 A
make a gratitude list
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7/1/14 10:14 A
In my humble opinion, negativity becomes a habit with some people. I, too, teach and have to deal with negative co-workers. It is most bothersome when they focus on what they don't like about a student or teacher instead of what they do like. Usually, I make a positive comment in reply, but, sometimes it is just better to walk away. Unfortunately, there are some people who are not happy unless they are miserable. Hang in there!!
6/30/14 11:24 A
Sometimes you just have to tell people to cut the crap because it's annoying you.
Usually the negativity in my life comes from those around me. Personally I pray a lot and that relieves the stress and other side affects almost always. However there are times this doesn't seem to help as quickly as I want and when this is the case and I cannot walk away from the situation I have to remind myself (sometimes out loud) "This is NOT my circus; These are NOT my monkeys!"
Sometimes our emotions get the best of us and what we preceive as negativity is just the opposite to someone else. Sometimes the best thing to do for all concerned is to confront what you believe to be negativity as most times you will find a different result or maybe even something you said that caused the negativity. You must be willing to step out there or you may live with something that is not founded. This happened to me today and once we discussed the issue it was obvious. Avoidance is usually not the best policy - but that is not always the case.
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73 6/29/14 8:38 P
Depends on what it is negative about. I mean sometimes I ignore it, others I try to reason with the person, while other times I just inform them they are wrong.
I've always used the "I don't really see it that way" approach. Most people will stop talking to you about the downer stuff when they hear that coupled with you walking away and doing what you have to do. It's OK to walk away. Know this: engaging in gossip in any way is NEVER a good thing. Redirect them to their boss.
6/29/14 12:12 P
try to avoid as much as possible
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36,460 6/29/14 10:00 A
You could try telling them that if they have nothing positive to say to you, please say nothing at all. You can even tell them that they are dragging you down and it's uncomfortable.
No one says you have to listen to them - even if it does mean getting rude.
When you think about it, by not honoring your wishes - they are being rude to you now.
It is hard to stay positive every day with ups and downs but if I know I'm doing everything right that I just must be patient and not get discouraged. A son is moving out soon and I actually will have a workout/extra bedroom room. Plan on surrounding myself with all the positive quotes I have collected and changing them often. I'm working on multiple workout routines that will just be there waiting for me at 5:00 am. I can just get up and not think about what I want to do. I'm trying to add more variety hoping that will help me keep moving forward.
6/27/14 8:27 P
I like what Eelpie said. They will probably think that you have flipped your lid and leave you alone. Or they will stop talking negative around you.
PS. Is your screen name related to Pride and Prejudice? That is my favorite book.
I think I would respond: I am focusing on making the transition to the new school as positive as possible. I will do a great job while I am here -- and I will make an equal effort in the new job. (and if you need to: state firmly that to slack off benefits NO ONE, including the complainer)
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2,241 6/27/14 1:02 P
Mean people suck! :)
The more you "get healthy"--eating less & super-healthy foods & working out daily---the more unhealthy people get snotty.
Well, screw 'em! For every snippy snide passive-aggressive comment, just smile inside & let it wash over you, fueling your POWER!
You're DOING IT! You're losing weight, living a healthy lifestyle--and it feels GREAT! It's empowering!
Nothing succeeds like success! Keep on keepin' on.........
Accentuate how hard you are working on all aspects whether it is your exercise, eating, sleeping - whatever: it is a life style change and regardless of the rate of progress; be proud of how you are doing and encourage others to 'stay the course'. When you project a positive attitude, it usually suppresses negativity!
Each time someone complains I would say something positive like, "I know, change can be difficult - I'm trying to see it as an opportunity for something new." Soon they'll either pick up on your positive outlook, or they'll back off the complaining. Maybe it will help them to see another side to the situation.
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75 6/27/14 5:32 A
Thanks for all the advice! I definately will start to apply some of these.
Simply put: The more you engage, the more it's perceived as being ok to dump on you.. And why not? You keep engaging it...simply by responding to it.
What you need to start doing is either:
* Point blank say "you're a Negative Nelly, and you're bumming me out. Knock it off"
* Or...more tactfully (sometimes with slower results, but eventually they get it), when person A starts complaining you say "Huh. You know there is a really bad drought right out in California. I hope food prices don't get too high, I"m already paying and arm and a leg - ground beef alone is outrageous".
When they do it again..you say "Huh. Did you see that movie on tv last night? You know..the one with that guy? Brown hair? Kinda looking? No? Oh - well, it was really good. What did you watch last night".
When they do it again, you say "Huh. Hey...you ever wonder what blind people see when they dream? Do you think they see things? Or just hear things? Do you ever have crazy dreams? I have crazy dreams. Boy last night I had a doozy. I was chasing this dog thorugh a park, and all of a sudden, I was a dog, and he was chasing me. Odd, yeah? What are you having for lunch today? I've got tuna salad on rye".
6/26/14 1:55 P
6/26/14 5:12 A
Fitness Minutes: (265,600)
9,863 6/25/14 11:50 P
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When I'm in that situation, I ignore the negative comment and say something totally unrelated to the topic in question. Of course, it is a positive comeback.
your situation is very common...and it's a like trying to save a person from drowning. If you stay too close, they will pull you down with them...a little distance and common effort to swim past the bad times and disappointments gets you moving. Keep your eyes on the prize and swim for shore. If they are smart, they will follow your lead
When someone I'm speaking to starts to run circles on the negative track, I ask them a question, ".... so what's the solution?...." or some version of that. Sometimes you get a positive answer, sometimes you get a sarcastic one- if you get a sarcastic, negative one, ask the question again".
Or call them out on it, "Jane, you really don't seem to like this school/your job. You're so talented at XX, why not consider exploring that. If you're unhappy/unmotivated, the kids are going to be the ones to suffer for it"
6/25/14 5:14 A
6/25/14 4:16 A
It's really difficult. They probably assume that, because you're leaving as well, you feel the same and that you're a safe person to talk to. You may just have to tell them that talking negatively about school is off limits. Being less motivated at this time in the school year is normal and it's likely that pretty well all the staff are probably counting down the days. When do you finish? In UK - at least in my area - schools finish on 18th July. I only do 2 hours a week as I've retired, but even I'm counting down to the summer holiday and I guess the staff are starting most mornings with comments like '17 more get-ups!'
Lack of motivation because end of term is looming is one thing. Negative, critical comments can be poisonous and I guess we all have to find ways of making sure we don't drink the poison! Your post comes as a wake up call to me. I have a friend who constantly bombards me with negative talk about Church and I find that too much of it affects my spirit. I think sometimes we may just have to tell [people to stop, that negative talk has a bad effect on us and that we don't want to hear any more of it.
Fitness Minutes: (1,625)
75 6/25/14 3:59 A
I'm currently in my last term at the first school I started work at. In September, I'm moving on to a new (smaller) school, as are four other people in my department. At the moment, I'm just keeping my head down, trying to get on with as much as possible. But the other three have really started to get me down. I have tried to be upbeat and patient and listen, but all they ever do is complain and make negative comments about the school, the way it is run etc. I've started avoiding them for this reason, but one is a close friend, and is in the classroom next door to me. I try to steer the conversation around to positives and I've even hinted, saying " Don't you find it annoying that X & Y are always moaning about the school now they are leaving?" She agreed, but kept right on doing the same thing herself! For example, this morning, she walked into my room as I was doing some marking and announced she was unmotivated to start AGAIN and that she was just counting down the days. This is happening most days now and I'm getting to the point where I am avoiding them to the point of almost rudeness. Outside of school, these people are great, but inside of school they are kind of dragging me down.
Am I being unsympathetic? How do I deal with this?
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