Seriously, Joe, it's too good and real a topic to be satirical in nature...I think on a board that's 95% women, we guys need two things: the first is a place where we can be guys, and the second is to mind our Ps and Qs just about everywhere else. Especially us guys that aren't the "young guys" anymore, so we get judged as creepers until proven otherwise...
Fitness Minutes: (15,675)
463 2/22/10 2:11 P
I wouldn't rely on the Urban Dictionary...it's too subjective and open.
Go with your intent and use wisdom. There are two parts in communication...giving it and receiving it. We are responsible in how we handle those depending on what we are doing-giving or receiving it... We can't help how people hear us and we cant help what other people say.
Fitness Minutes: (31,721)
367 2/22/10 11:19 A
It didn't feel satirical to me at all, Joe, I think there are some guys on here who feel that way. That said, I was surprised it was coming from you because you seem to have some great confidence of character.
If you are married or in a committed relationship, your definition of appropriate behavior on any social networking site may be very different. I think the "creeper" line is directly tied to your own values. I think that Joe must be a pretty OK guy because he's actually thinking about this. I haven't been on for a long time, but I have had 'sparkpeople' topical conversations with a few people, mostly women because that seems to be 95% of the people here...Pretty much I would never post, or send a message or make a blog post that I would not want my wife to see. And that works for me.
Fitness Minutes: (31,721)
367 2/18/10 11:49 P
Joe, I think it's natural and as long as you're being appropriate with your comments like LemonFreshDog suggests I think it's nothing to worry about in terms of morals / ethics.
Again, if they didn't want people looking, they shouldn't put it up there. Granted, a lot of people on here are still learning how the internet works (five bucks says if they have a Facebook profile they likely have their privacy settings way out of whack) and maybe don't think about who's looking at their stuff... but that's not your fault.
Well.. I don't think it's really being a "creeper" if you are on a site with BLOGS, pages, forums, etc that are basically social. Remember, the photos posted are posted by the people themselves in a public place. Expecting that people are not going to look is probably naive. (and, let's face it - if you post a picture of yourself in a string bikini - people are going to look).
What would be creepy (in my opinion) is to comment on someones profile in an inappropriate manner. Telling them they are "hot", etc. when they do not use the same language themselves. For example, if someone posts a photo of themselves and says "I am really proud of my accomplishments" - and appropriate response would be "Congratulations, you really have made some healthy changes". If someone posts "I'm super-hot now!" - then, you could posts a comment like "Wow! You ARE super-hot!" - let them dictate the tone and language.
The big caution I would warn everyone about is that social sites - especially LARGE social sites attract good people as well as ... not-so-good people. Just because there are no streets here - doesn't mean you shouldn't use your street-smarts.
I'm very new here and had no idea it was improper to check out pages without commenting. I was just trying to find out what it's all about. Wow! What is proper behavior in a site like this one? I don't always have anything constructive or encouraging to say. I have found that there are many very helpful individuals at SparkPeople who don't mind sharing their experiences with all. Glad I found the lounge. Thanks for the opportunity to post!
UrbanDictionary's first and second definition of the term "creeper". I was reffering to the second one.
1.) Creeper A person who does weird things, like stares at you while you sleep, or looks at you for hours through a window. usually a close friend or relative. you know right away if that person is a creeper or does creeper things. it is not hard to spot the creeper.
Example: Jeff was the "creeper" in the background
2.) Creeper Someone who views your profile (multiple times) without saying anything.
Example: This guy has been to my profile 37 times today and hasn't said anything... what a creeper!
Fitness Minutes: (31,721)
367 2/11/10 12:28 A
AdamBauer1, you can come here to the guys' lounge all you want but don't expect women to stay out. It's definitely not "our" space, which I find unfortunate but whatever.
Joe, I know exactly what you mean. Nothing wrong with being careful and nothing wrong with thinking about all aspects of interaction as they come. Consider, too, that "creepy" is a word some women can sometimes throw around without much care, if you ask me. A guy may do or say something mild and they'll still be labeled "creepy" forever and it's not your fault and it's not fair.
All you can do is be genuine and honest. If your intentions are kind, it will show through in your comments / posts. If they wonder if it's creepy, they'll hopefully stalk you a little bit to see how you write / present yourself elsewhere. They'll realize you're friendly, harmless, and genuine. And if they don't go beyond their assumptions...
The term "Creeper" has become pretty common these days. What with social networking, Facebook etc. It usually refers to when people check you out, look at your photos, read what you have written, but don't nessesarily talk to you, or contact you, because they don't really know you. This may not be the way the dictionary defines it, but it is how I see young people using this word the last few years. Creepy is something altogether different.
Fitness Minutes: (12,713)
4,113 2/8/10 7:27 A
Well, creepy is pretty subjective. One man's creep is another man's normal. Sounds to me like your guidelines are reasonable. If it's just supposed to be good clean fun, keep it within those bounds. Keep it in the forums where appropriate and I wouldn't try too hard to reel in someone who is in 'normal' places. I think where you would push creep buttons is if someone told you to let up a bit and you persisted. But that doesn't sound like the case at all.
My personal guidelines are to not say anything I wouldn't say without the missus sitting next to me. So I don't have any fun ...
Ok, I love having women friends here on Sparks but I am ALWAYS afraid of being looked at as a "Creeper". If I can, I try NOT to communicate a whole lot with women who I think are under 30 because that's a surefire sign that a guy is a CREEPER (in my opinion). I recently made it a point to 'clean-up' my demeanor on some of the vanilla teams I visit whereas some others I belong to just OOZE with naughtiness. In those teams it's not Creepin', it's fun for all. When I come across a woman's picture that shows how remarkable of a job she's done with weight-loss I like to comment. I REALLY try to keep it positive and as vanilla as possible and rarely ever make any additional comments unless they make a comment back but I sometimes don't respond back to that either. I should note that the same has been in reverse; I have had several women 'stalk' my page and contact me with some pretty interesting messages that I don't respond to, nothing real bad, but more flirtatious than I like so I try NOT to be that way myself. Lots of beautiful people here at Sparks, LOTS!
....ugh, I feel creepy now after posting this.....
SparkPeople, SparkCoach, SparkPages, SparkPoints, SparkDiet, SparkAmerica, SparkRecipes, DailySpark, and other marks are trademarks of SparkPeople, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
SPARKPEOPLE is a registered trademark of SparkPeople, Inc. in the United States, European Union, Canada, and Australia. All rights reserved.