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MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 13,718
10/3/12 10:15 P

I would feel very hurt, if someone did that to me. Good thing that you cut ties, your friend seems extremely self centered.

JIACOLO SparkPoints: (290,592)
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Posts: 17,164
10/3/12 9:12 P

It is a hard decision, but you made the best one for you! Keep moving forward and staying positive!

LILYSMOM08 Posts: 1,142
10/3/12 11:57 A

Sounds like you made the right decision..........With an attitude as good as yours, you're sure to be surrounded by people who are worthy of your friendship........She made her priorities clear and she does not deserve you as a friend.

I_HEART_MY_FAM Posts: 1,809
10/3/12 11:29 A

I decided to cut ties. I am not as hurt as it may come across because I knew she was capable of this. I had such a great time at the wedding, so her absence didn't damper the wedding at all. It was after it was over it bothered me more. I guess I was too excited seeing my daughter and SIL having such a great time. The big hurt was when I was close to a nervous break down, or maybe in one and she was not there. It was in law problems, and a death in family as well. All she wanted to do was go out karoking, and all I needed and wanted was a friend to sit beside me and sip tea with me in pajamas. I do not ask for much, it would have been tea at my house at that, I will do the work, just be beside me for a few minutes is all I ask, anytime of the day or week just a few minutes would have made a huge difference. I really believe in my heart that she chose a karaoke bar over my daughter's wedding, she did not work until 11, she never does. I will not allow her to hurt me again so goodbye it is.

JIACOLO SparkPoints: (290,592)
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10/3/12 7:24 A

Sometimes we need to cut our loses in life. I recently realized a woman I grew up with, whom I considered one of my best friends, was really not much of a friend. For the last 15 years or so it has been me who has carried the relationship. I guess I knew it all along, but just finally was able to admit to myself that I do not wish to continue investing in someone who is not willing to at least meet me half way. I miss her, but I think I miss more of what I thought our relationship should be, not what it was. Sorry your friend wasn't a friend. Cut your loss and move forward! You don't need that baggage.

BLUENOSE63 SparkPoints: (101,558)
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10/3/12 7:03 A

Betrayed

SUZIEQUE77 SparkPoints: (8,823)
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10/3/12 7:02 A

Something very similar happened to me with my daughter's wedding this summer. I sent out stamped postcards for the RSVPs and probably more than half the people did not bother to return them but I expected that, and assumed if not returned, they were not coming.

But even worse, about 20 people sent the RSVP back saying they would be attending! One of these was a friend somewhat like the one you described, though I would not say we were as close as you described you and your friend.

Even so, I am not one to usually not invite somebody because somebody else at the occasion would not want them there, but I did this for this one friend. I even waited until I got the RSVP saying she WAS COMING before deciding not to invite the other couple (whom I'm almost sure would have came and had a great time). Well, this friend and her husband did not show.

I was a little ticked at all the people who said they were coming (and so we paid for their meal) and then they didn't bother to show. I did send a text to this one friend wanting to give her the benefit of the doubt so I just said "Hey we missed you!" to see how she would respond. She said she had a terrible headache!

I have not talked to her since. I'm not saying I will not speak to her again but I am certainly never going out of my way to not invite somebody else to an occasion for her sake, and in fact I will not go out of my way to do anything for her. Having a terrible headache would not likely stop me from going to a wedding that I said I'd go to. But even if sickness or some other emergency came up, I would at least call and explain and apologize.

PUNKYPA Posts: 3,627
10/3/12 4:16 A

A guy once told me after stiffing me of money -- "You'll get over it".

MMEEAAGGX3 SparkPoints: (1,281)
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Posts: 1,049
10/2/12 11:08 P

That would upset me a great deal. You have been close friends for ages. If it was an acquaintance, that would be different! You seem hurt about it, and no feelings are invalid feelings. You have a right to your emotions!

UMBILICAL Posts: 11,914
10/2/12 10:50 P

Sometimes we never know what is happening with others.

WINSTONSUZ Posts: 4,742
10/2/12 10:46 P

I have a childhood playmate that I spent as much time at her house as I did mine.... we grew up next door to each other..... she went to college I went to work..... years later she ends up working for same agency as me and while she knew it ( I did not until later) and she could have sent me an email or called she never let me know..... then she ended up coming to the same office I work for training and while I made efforts to talk to her and invited her to go to lunch with me she would leave after her day ended ( earlier than mine) and not even say goodbye or see you tomorrow....

I retired and I emailed her the details and asked her to come to my retirement ... she never answered and didn't come...

I have wrote it off as too bad so sad and movin on....... she obviously isn't the friend I thought for all these years and apparently your friend isn't either or she wouldn't have done what she did....... life is too short to worry about what should be.......



KACEYSW Posts: 2,586
10/2/12 10:39 P

Considering she has already let you down so many times, you now know not to count on her for anything important unless it suits her. You also she is not the person you thought she was.

TACDGB Posts: 6,132
10/2/12 10:17 P

A true friend would not of done that to you. one person can be let down so many times and then it's time to move on. You need someone in your life that will respect you, love you and treat you the way God would treat you.........with kindness love and respect. Good luck in finding someone like that.

I_HEART_MY_FAM Posts: 1,809
10/2/12 6:50 P

Thank you both :)

WHOVIAN85 Posts: 861
10/2/12 6:30 P

Well now that you went into further detail I would be looking for new friends too. So sorry she let you down again, glad your daughters wedding was fabulous either way. I am a stay at home mom and find it hard to make friends thats why I joined a mommy group in my area. I would only excuse so many let downs myself with a friend before learning from it and moving on. sorry you had to deal with that.

CRYSTALDANCER SparkPoints: (65,169)
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Posts: 3,026
10/2/12 6:00 P

I would definitely be bummed, that's for sure. So glad your daughter's wedding was great anyway!

Edited by: CRYSTALDANCER at: 10/2/2012 (18:01)
I_HEART_MY_FAM Posts: 1,809
10/2/12 5:51 P

I called her earlier in the day on wedding day and she said she had to work that she would be late. She is manager and quite bossy at that, she admits to being bossy and getting her way,when she wants a day off, she gets it off. She knew of this for months and months. She always lets me down that is why I came here to see how others would feel. I am not mad though, I just need new friends. She is basically my only friend even though I am liked. I don't meet many people being a homemaker, but I have decided to join a group or something to make new friends. I want a warm kind hearted friend. I would have had to be either really super sick or dead not to attend her sons wedding. It did not damper my mood the wedding was fantastic! :)

WHOVIAN85 Posts: 861
10/2/12 5:39 P

It would depend on why she could not/ didn't attend? Have you heard for her as to why she couldn't make it? I like giving my friends the benefit of the doubt especially someone that I would have known that long. Maybe an emergency came up and she couldn't make it last minute? Maybe she had financial issues and was embarrassed, who knows until you talk with her, but yes I'd be a little upset for not attending and not hearing from her more so.

I_HEART_MY_FAM Posts: 1,809
10/2/12 5:24 P

My friend and I have been friends since 7th grade so that makes us friends for over 30 years. My daughter gets married and my friend did not show up after she promised. I even sent her an invitiation for her and a guest of her choice, all the while she was telling me how she is going. How would you feel?

Edited by: I_HEART_MY_FAM at: 10/2/2012 (17:25)
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