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SIMONEKP Posts: 2,755
3/3/14 2:14 P

sometimes putting yourself first takes sacrifice, waking up a little earlier to workout, taking time to cook etc.

TIMEHASCOME56 SparkPoints: (112,323)
Fitness Minutes: (46,330)
Posts: 7,741
3/3/14 6:36 A

I like that

3/2/14 1:08 P

To-do lists. If I put myself on the list I have to get to self-care.

VUKELK Posts: 623
3/2/14 8:37 A

This can be a tough one when people are up and about. But weekend mornings, I am the only one awake so I truly enjoy my coffee and quiet time. Drives to and from work are a good time to organize my thoughts.

TIMEHASCOME56 SparkPoints: (112,323)
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Posts: 7,741
3/2/14 8:32 A

Morning is the perfect quiet time for me, before any wakes up.

SUSIEGENO SparkPoints: (68,496)
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Posts: 868
3/1/14 11:02 P

Wake up before everyone in my house and hit the gym the morning.

SARAH41168 SparkPoints: (3,611)
Fitness Minutes: (828)
Posts: 51
3/1/14 10:59 P

I understand! Sometimes I just need a day to just be me and only for me.

EMPRESSAMQ Posts: 5,077
3/1/14 9:54 A

@OP, that's a great idea to go to the gym midday.

BROADBRUSH Posts: 1,806
3/1/14 9:09 A

it is very hard because all i hear is complaints, insults etc. once in a blue moon i will lie in bed for about half hour after my alarm rings. just to give my mind a chance to quiet. it is the only time of day i don't have everything thrown at me and noise, noise , noise!
i am very very very weary and tired - it truly won't be peaceful until my journey ends.

TIMEHASCOME56 SparkPoints: (112,323)
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Posts: 7,741
3/1/14 6:48 A

My family wanted one thing for dinner, and I fix myself something else. I usually eat what I prepare, yesterday I did not.

3/1/14 2:39 A

I take a day off...and watch T.V. or have a movie marathon all day ...or read a book from cover to cover...or sleep all day. I give myself permission to be lazy even if no one else around me likes it. Sometimes I just need some time to myself for myself. I spend so much of me giving to others that I need to allow my self some time to refuel. It sounds sad...but no one else is going to look out for me, no one else knows when I feel down, depressed, or out of sorts, or even sick. Even if I tell them...they don't seem to believe me. So I have to give myself some time to work through whatever is going on, to recuperate. I have to make myself a priority.

TIMEHASCOME56 SparkPoints: (112,323)
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Posts: 7,741
2/28/14 6:26 P

This what I need to do more. Prayer and Meditation.

2/28/14 3:07 P

I see myself in the taking the broken cookie, putting my family first and putting work first syndrome. Like the old Stuart Smalley Saturday Night Live skit, I need to remind myself that " I am good enough. I am smart enough and doggone it, people like me!"

LESLIESENIOR SparkPoints: (209,841)
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Posts: 6,284
2/28/14 12:43 A

.......pray and meditate every morning and any other time during the day, exercise, eat well, treat myself as well as I treat my family and friends......

AVALIVY SparkPoints: (2,074)
Fitness Minutes: (412)
Posts: 18
2/27/14 8:24 P

i struggle with this a lot too but if I don't put myself first, no one else will put me first either. I have to do it or accept always being last. I don't really like having my needs last on the list. i'm tired of being sick and tired and I want to feel better. that means I need to step up and make it happen.

JENNAY427 Posts: 6
2/27/14 4:09 P

My kids need me and need me to take care of myself.

2/26/14 5:16 P

I wanted to add that even breaking it into 5 minute segments would help. There are times, because I have a desk job that just setting an alarm every hour and getting up and moving for 5 minutes helps.

I also wanted to say that I use "microwave" time. A lot of my entrees take 5 or 6 minutes and I put them in and go for a brisk walk until the bell beeps. I do the same with cooking time at home. If you put something in the oven, you might have a half hour right there. That is long enough to do many of the exercise videos out there.

2/26/14 5:11 P

Wondering if some exercise equipment at work might help. An under the desk cycle. Resistance bands work better than weights and they can fit in a purse and can be used for 10 minutes at a time.

The fact that exercise still works just as effectively if you do it in 10 minute segments might help you. 10 minutes of walking around the building. 10 minutes of jumping jacks or jump roping (another easy to bring thing) or jogging in place all help.

RUERUECHIKA SparkPoints: (99,497)
Fitness Minutes: (43,858)
Posts: 1,590
2/26/14 11:58 A

Planning ahead.
Scheduling workouts as appointments.
Establishing a consistent routine, that works with my schedule.
Waking up an hour earlier (even if it's 4:30am), before the rest of the household.

SNOOKS2013 Posts: 40
2/26/14 8:23 A

Not a problem for me.

BARBANNA SparkPoints: (108,384)
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Posts: 3,415
2/25/14 7:22 P

You plan ahead so you can make your needs happen first. If you don't put yourself first then you will not be effective in meeting the needs of others.

TWINMOM555 Posts: 130
2/25/14 5:51 P

It's really important that you make yourself a priority because, if you're a diligent worker, you will continue to be relied upon for last minute and emergency issues--which is a good thing but you can quickly become a crutch for the rest of the team or department. You really have to be your own advocate when it comes to making yourself a priority. I'm a mom with three kids and a job and a husband that works late hours--I get it. That said, there are times when I have to say no to other requests so I can say yes to my own priorities. It isn't easy but it's necessary. Good luck.

SEAGLASS1215 Posts: 586
2/25/14 5:35 A

Lots of helpful advice here - thank you all for your input!
My boss is very flexible as long as the work gets done...I am probably my own worst enemy in terms of allowing myself to take a break, because I hate that feeling of leaving something undone.
I did manage to say 'no' to a late day request on Friday - I felt guilty but got over it and the world did not end. Amazing!
Today I'm taking some 'me time' during work to meet with my wellness is a standing appointment so I feel like it's ok to take that 30 mins away from my desk. If I can channel that into gym time...that would be awesome!

ROG190 SparkPoints: (0)
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Posts: 318
2/24/14 7:12 P

schedule, which creates balance for me...

APPLEPIEDREAMS SparkPoints: (214,560)
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Posts: 10,501
2/24/14 3:41 P

Do your supervisors tell you that you can't take a break, or do you just feel compelled to keep working through lunch? If it's the first, I'd recommend exercising in the morning before you go to work. If it's the second, then you're going to have to force yourself to drop your work at a certain time, go to the gym and come back. The more you do it, the easier it gets.

WHEELS54 Posts: 492
2/24/14 10:39 A

I read somewhere that a wise woman once said that putting yourself first is not selfish, it is a necessity. Sort of like putting your oxygen mask on first then your kid's when on an airplane. Hmmmm....

SIMONEKP Posts: 2,755
2/23/14 1:42 P

I routinely work 12 hour days. I prioritize my exercise by getting it done in the morning before anything else.

LAURASDAD SparkPoints: (39,957)
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Posts: 88
2/23/14 8:10 A

After reading your post, I remembered this video. Makes a lot of sense.

CTUPTON Posts: 15,098
2/22/14 1:13 P

My sister has the best boss in the world and she knows it. She is a fantastic worker and her boss recognizes that.. It would be easy for her to take on the work of other people but she is careful about not doing that. Others will take advantage any way they can. If she gets overwhelmed, her boss asks her what he can do to fix the problem. He sometimes gives her copying to another worker, for example. And for copying she has to do herself, he put a printer right in her little office. He lets her take off work when she needs to. She gets her work done and he does not care if she is away but makes up the time somehow. Boy, when I worked, I wish I had a boss like that!

If you are overwhelmed at work, maybe you can ask a supervisor for something specific to help you. Good luck! chris

KNEEMAKER SparkPoints: (104,729)
Fitness Minutes: (27,787)
Posts: 1,336
2/22/14 12:06 P

Just do it

SCOOTER4263 Posts: 2,325
2/22/14 11:36 A

Several years ago, a friend and I noticed that we always took the small piece of chicken, the broken cookie, the aisle seat. We decided to try, just for a week or two, taking the bog piece of chicken, the unbroken cookie and the window seat - generally, the best bit. And do you know what happened?

Absolutely nothing. No one even noticed.

If we didn't drop everything to take a kid someplace, they got busy with something else. The cookies, broken or not, were fine with everyone. In short, we were martyring ourselves for no reason.

We stopped this foolish behavior. No one noticed, and if they did, they got on with their lives quickly enough.n And we were much happier, and probably healthier and saner as well.

SEAGLASS1215 Posts: 586
2/22/14 7:13 A

Chris and LADYREDCOMET - you are so right! I'm surprised those co-workers of mine are still at the company, they aren't exactly mental geniuses either! But they certainly do make themselves #1.
I did finally say "no" to something yesterday and I left at the time I planned to so I could be at my daughter's game. I'll be curious to see if the world fell apart at work after I did was certainly worth it, for me, to get away and enjoy the game and have a decent night'ssleep afterwards!

Edited by: SEAGLASS1215 at: 2/22/2014 (07:15)
LADYREDCOMET SparkPoints: (104,129)
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Posts: 2,258
2/21/14 2:19 P

One thing to remember is that it is NOT your fault that you are behind, especially if so many of your coworkers are calling out sick. That means it's even more important to take care of yourself. Think of it this way - if your team members are allowed to take a full day (or more) for themselves, you can take an hour or two. YOU are more important than your work, and the world will not end if that means someone has to wait a bit to get your help.

CTUPTON Posts: 15,098
2/21/14 9:43 A

You say half your team called in. Hmmm... well, they sure are taking care of themselves, aren't they? I used to watch my co-workers. I was always the one the most stressed out. I noticed how they got work and stress away from themselves. Boy, some of them were whizzes at this! And they kept their jobs. And they looked bright and happy and efficient! I looked harried and 'behind' and stressed, like I could not handle my job. I thought, "Something is wrong here!" I started using their tricks! Over the years I became less stressed. Good luck! chris

210014631 SparkPoints: (35,652)
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Posts: 1,400
2/21/14 5:26 A

Haven't figured it out.

SEAGLASS1215 Posts: 586
2/21/14 4:42 A

Thank you all for your thoughts and ideas. I know I need to do this...I just don't want to feel guilty about it. And they can't stop me at work from taking my lunch and breaks - it's just that we are so far behind right now, I find myself really scrambling to stay on top of things. Taking an hour away from my desk adds pressure at this point. I hope to get caught up over the weekend so Monday won't be so daunting.

BJF2008 Posts: 673
2/20/14 10:20 P

It is tough! A good support system is needed (if you have kids)! I enjoyed how everyone else does it!

BOGO13 SparkPoints: (1,798)
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Posts: 56
2/20/14 3:44 P

It's a touchy topic since it is hard to address the situation during work, but it is necessary for yourself. If you are putting in a lot of extra hours and you are doing a good job, then you should feel more than allowed to take an half hour to an hour midday to workout. You can do this 3-5 days a week so you aren't doing it everyday, but you're still getting a good amount in. Make sure your work is getting done, but remember that taking care of yourself is also just as important!

SKIMBRO SparkPoints: (111,163)
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Posts: 3,480
2/20/14 1:30 P

I have learned to put me first. If I do not put me first, I will not be around for anyone else.

2/20/14 11:56 A

Being a stay at home Mom I have to make sure that my children are ok, the house is clean, and that My husband has dinner when he comes home from work. Contsantly cleaning and cooking, school-time with the children, changing pampers, and doing laundry takes up most of my time. So i used to feel guilty when I would take 30 minutes to go for a walk or exercise. well almost 100 pounds heavier i dont feel guilty anymore. I had a conversation with my husband about me taking time for me and in return I take the kids on Sunday so he can have a full day to himself. Now when he comes home for work I go to the gym for 2 hours Mon-Sat and the house nor the kids fall apart when I leave. I had to make myself a priority because my weight had gotten out of hand in 2 short years. Needless to say I should have made myself a priority sooner. But with the Lords help and my faith I will be back on track by the end of the year.

SUCCESS68 Posts: 374
2/20/14 9:46 A

Wow. I love that advise. I never take myself seriously. When I want to change me I allow everyone else stuff to interfere. I will now make appointments. Thanks emoticon

SUSANK16 Posts: 2,635
2/20/14 9:00 A

When I was working long days, I always went first thing in the morning. That was the only way I could get the exercise in. It actually helped in that I had more energy for the day. I also found short walks quite helpful.

CATHY6098 SparkPoints: (1,324)
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Posts: 14
2/19/14 3:58 P

You are right, getting out of the office for YOUR lunch/gym break is a great way to de-stress and you need to do it. I pencil myself in to the daily planner and make sure people know that I won't be answering the phone or texts during that break time. With an 11 hour day, one hour doesn't seem out of the realm, it's just hard to get it started. You need to just do it and don't look back! You can emoticon emoticon

JAMIRBLAZE Posts: 1,786
2/19/14 3:36 P

Nutrition is key to this process, so that is what I would focus on while you are having this difficult time.

How big of a company do you work for? Is there HR? Depending on your state and position, you may be entitled to a break and lunch, and your employer needs to take steps to allow you to have one. (Here, in my state, FL, you aren't entitled to anything, if you are over 18.)

You could just put a sign out that you went to lunch, and you will be back at x time. If there is another point person, have that person cover while you are gone and offer to do same. Most "emergencies" usually aren't in my experience.

ELIZABETH5268 SparkPoints: (52,641)
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Posts: 1,332
2/19/14 2:58 P

Healthy food. It has become a hobby and indulgence I give to myself

COSPEC SparkPoints: (5,589)
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Posts: 242
2/19/14 1:00 P

I too struggle with making time for myself to exercise and eat well. Two years ago, I started to exercise, eat well, and lost weight. Then life hit and it seemed that there was no time or space for me. I regained the weight and lost alot of my fitness. That said, I am trying not to beat myself up too much for letting things go. That certainly isn't helpful!

I finally made a change 7 weeks ago. I am wogging (walk-jogging) again and eating on track. I feel so much better, particularly mentally. I have had to talk to my other half about my guilt feelings about taking time out for myself, but I had to take the initiative.

Just know that you are not alone in your struggle and that if you keep trying there will be a better time for "you" space. In the meantime, don't sweat it too much emoticon

ROBBIEY SparkPoints: (405,353)
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2/19/14 12:48 P

Just like Nike, I just do it. I make time for exercise and make time to plan my meals so that I don't just eat junk.

FIFIFRIZZLE Posts: 2,148
2/19/14 11:25 A

I don,t know what work you do but realistically, when a lot of people are sick you cannot do all their work. And you need a break or you won,t be able to do an 11 hour day. So, schedule in appointments with yourself to go to the gym. And keep them.
And if you are asked to stay, say, uh, I have an appointment. I already rescheduled it from the other day when we were so busy. And be very very discreet about where you are going.

Making an appointment with myself is how I started with fitting in regular exercise. I decided I would treat myself as well as I treat other people. This was a real eye opener. I never reneg on appointments with other people, and it became really easy to stick with mine, and if not, to reschedule. I would never tell people I couldn't make it because I was going to exercise, it was because I had something on then, it works a treat!
Now I rely on my fitbit to do the tracking, but whenever I introduce something new to the program I return to appointments and recording my exercise until it is completely embedded.

Edited by: FIFIFRIZZLE at: 2/19/2014 (11:31)
MEGAPEEJ Posts: 732
2/18/14 8:56 P

I'm assuming 11 hour workday is an extreme, and not "normal".

It's ok to take a break when life gets in the way. You just have to be sure that it's actually life getting in the way and you not making excuses. I wouldn't blame myself if I took a day off from the gym after an 11 hour workday covering for several sick calls, but a normal shift and I just "don't feel like it"? Not good enough.

That said, everyone needs a break - in an 11 hour day you HAVE to take a lunch break and allow yourself at least 30 minutes away from your job. Unless you're a 911 dispatcher or something, it's not life or death if you say "I need to clear my head for a bit".

SEAGLASS1215 Posts: 586
2/18/14 7:54 P

I recently joined the gym at work but after putting in an 11 hour day, I'm too tired to use it. With half my team calling in sick, somehow it is up to me to pick up the slack. How can I say no (and not get fired!) to all this overtime and allow myself to actually take a lunch break and go the gym midday? I think it would be a great way to de-stress and clear my head but it feels like everyone needs me at the same time all day long!

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