I feel like I have failed myself by allowing myself to gain so much weight and though I am proud that I have taken initiative to lose the weight so I can look and feel healthy once again, I am angry at myself because if I would have ate healthy and stayed active in the first place I would no have to be in the position I'm in now having to lose so much weight.
Fitness Minutes: (131,427)
5,728 5/14/13 8:31 P
Overall pretty good though I still have more weight to lose.
Fitness Minutes: (29,303)
11,382 5/14/13 7:14 P
I am still a little angry with myself that I didn't maintain my weight loss but I'm happy that I'm back on track.
It's very easy to look at the weight I gained and be negative but that really wouldn't help me. I just need to concentrate on continuing good habits so I can be where I want to be. Also, life is short. I want to enjoy where I am now. I can't do that if I'm beating myself up.
Fitness Minutes: (23,910)
1,913 5/14/13 5:28 P
I accept who I am and am happy to go through each day doing the right thing........
Fitness Minutes: (18,507)
1,377 5/14/13 11:06 A
Most of the time, I am content. There are, of course, times I wish something here or there was different but I have come a long way over the years and I think it's all pretty much ok.
Ambivalent most of the time. I pretty much grew up depressed and have fought that my whole life. I was also happy alot! I have never had the benefit of being UNaware of my feelings, in fact the opposite I am definitely feeling driven. Every little thing effects me, huh, sound like I am neurotic! My first husband was probably right, good thing my now husband is a saint huh?
I need to try harder at being a better person. I'm not an awful person, but there's quite a few flaws that I could correct that would make me a better person and leave me happier with myself. I know what needs to change, but making those changes after so many years of the same bad habits and learned behaviours is difficult, and I don't often put in the effort that I should.
Fitness Minutes: (11,796)
5,855 5/13/13 11:54 A
I have always felt good about myself, but with aging, I am discouraged by how much can go wrong. Seems like something new every day. I just turned 78 Sunday.
Fitness Minutes: (6,608)
1,395 5/13/13 10:46 A
I like the person I am & would not trade me for anyone else. I love the values I hold. Sure it would be nice to be a certain number or size, but that does not define the inner person of who I am. Judy
Fitness Minutes: (17,391)
2,116 5/13/13 9:51 A
Overall, I really don't like who I am. I hate how I look in the mirror - there isn't a part of me that I can say I like the look of - and I don't really like the person I've become. In college I was so positive and loving but it seems that now that I'm working, and doing work I don't like, I am very negative and angry a lot of the time. I can't quit work, which frustrates me, and I dread going there every day so it's hard to change my attitude. I do think about it and try stating positive encouragement but then stuff happens at work and I just fall back into the same old routine.
Fitness Minutes: (321,997)
101,013 5/12/13 11:59 P
Fitness Minutes: (112,665)
8,212 5/12/13 11:50 P
Fitness Minutes: (20,770)
563 5/12/13 7:35 P
You know what? I feel pretty good about myself most of the time. I think that I have finally accepted myself for who I am, and that is WAY more than a number on a scale. I love my life right now, and I have a supportive husband and family who love me unconditionally.
I can look at myself and think that I need to lose weight and I wish this wasn't so mushy and that wasn't so flabby, but it doesn't affect who I am.
It's taken me a lot of years to get here. I really try to be positive about myself so that my daughter doesn't grow up hearing me hate on my appearance; my mom used to talk about how fat and ugly she was and I really internalized a lot of that. But I think that the positive self-talk has not just affected my daughter; it's affected the way I see myself. And that's kind of cool! :)
I was pretty thin until my late 20's. I went through a period of time when I hated myself because of my weight gain. Now I don't really feel overweight or terrible about myself even though I haven't dropped that much weight. I feel stronger and more active than I did in the past and that is better than a number on a scale.
Fitness Minutes: (53,498)
612 5/12/13 7:14 P
I find I am comparing myself to my much slimmer sisters, so it kind of depresses me. My weight is going down, but I feel I will always be so big compared to them. It is disheartening and makes me not like myself too much -- but then I realize that it takes a lot of work to get to where I want to be, and I may never be as slim as they are, but I will be slim for me. Gotta keep reality in check!
i'm never satisfied with how i look or feel, regardless of the number on the scale. It's been a rough spring where clothes fit but the number has gone up. I don't understand it, and it makes me feel like a failure. BUT i do know that I am overall a healthy person and i'm working on cutting myself some slack.
Fitness Minutes: (0)
158 5/12/13 4:47 P
I really like me as a person but I always feel I need to lose weight even when I had a 26 inch waist and people asked me if I was a model. I was a fat child, starved using diet pills in High School and was normal weight and have been yo yoing ever since. When I lose weight I do feel more shapely but I always feel a little fat I think.
I accept myself but I want to be better and I believe, focusing towards optimal wellness will result in being a healthy weight for my body and habits I can live with and enjoy. And I believe that health is a combination of body, mind, and spirit.... so you feel better, you can think clearer, and you are more at peace with yourself and others.
Fitness Minutes: (218,355)
21,329 5/12/13 3:38 P
I have a slightly different perspective on having lost the weight. Like many people here, I've had my weight loss ups and downs. However, the difference is that when I tell people I used to weigh 200+ pounds, they don't believe me.
I work part time as a group exercise instructor. I've been teaching at a local gym for several years. So, most of the members who've taken my classes have never seen me overweight. There are a couple of members who have been there as long as I have. They remember when I was heavy and decided to lose.
These days, when I tell someone trying to lose weight that I know what it's like because I too have been overweight, they look at me kind of odd. Some days, I feel like I should have to carry a picture of myself when I was overweight to prove it. I had one person tell me, you're thin, you don't know what it's like to be fat.
People think of me as fit because they've always seen me fit. They didn't know me when I was fat. And that's an odd sensation. This is why I tell someone new who takes my class,"look to the left and look to the right. That thin person next to you may have been overweight themselves at one time".
We make an assumption that a thin person must have always been that way, but that's just not true. So, my two cents ? I feel pretty good about myself in that I'm in better shape now than I have ever been. Like many women, some times the negative inner voices get the better of me. However, I am getting better at ignoring those voices. I have learned to appreciate what my body can do instead of worrying about how it looks.
Edited by: ARCHIMEDESII at: 5/12/2013 (15:41)
Fitness Minutes: (170,584)
2,241 5/12/13 12:30 P
I feel great about who I am as a person--fat or thin. However, I love being skinny! It makes me feel fabulous to see myself in size 4 jeans & a cute top. I feel energized & empowered when I'm thin--so how can I beat that?!?
Honestly, I feel GREAT about myself from a weight standpoint and from every other perspective. I have weighed WAY more than I do now in the distant past and don't share that number anymore because that was a different phase of life and I don't regret that as it helped me organize my weight management & fitness journey, which I have enjoyed and been successful at doing.
From other perspectives, just life in general, I have done the best I can and AM doing the best I can. I have made many mistakes but that is the human condition. I like being human and like who I am.
This is a good question for everyone to ask themselves from time to time. Feeling pretty good about who and what I am at the moment, intend to continue along that path.
As for berating self re the weight effort, I just don't see the point in that. Sometimes I make a joke of it, but in the final analysis, it doesn't help anything. We just need to keep walking the walk and doing the best we can.
Fitness Minutes: (2,517)
376 5/12/13 11:30 A
I've read everyone's posts here, which included an earlier one - a couple of months ago I think - by myself. I sounded pretty positive at that moment but am saddened that I don't feel as positive now. I'm also saddened by how many of us struggle with, as one poster said simply: "not feeling good enough".
Y'know, it's one thing to dislike intensely the behavior that gets us into this mess, but at the same time we have to keep in mind there is so much pressure out there to look great and conversely SOOOO much temptation to live unhealthily. It's NOT a cop out. We're inundated with food ads and the TV makes it sound like food is the answer to everything. That's why I try to leave it OFF most of the time.
It's also sad that even when we commit to improving ourselves like we are here on Spark that we can't just love ourselves unconditionally for the effort. If we are losing and can see change, we say "yay, me". If we're not, no matter how hard we're working, we berate ourselves. That doesn't make sense. It's hard to stay the weight loss course even when things are going well, but when they're not, and we STILL stay true, we deserve so much praise!!!!
Fitness Minutes: (17,391)
2,116 4/4/13 10:52 A
To be honest, I hate how I look. There is nothing about my body that I like. I've lost 26 pounds so far but can't tell when I look in the mirror. My measurements have gone down quite a bit but I still see the fat, bulgy me I've always seen. I want to see positive changes but for whatever reason I don't.
Fitness Minutes: (131,427)
5,728 4/4/13 10:27 A
My self esteem is certainly not what it should be because I re-gained weight I had lost. Sometimes I wonder how it happened. I do take medications that have weight gain as side effects.
STARDUST2K4 - I completely identify with your first sentence. I feel the same way. I never tell people (outside SP) that I've lost x number of pounds. I don't want them trying to imagine me at my highest weight, I'm ashamed that I was that weight and most people I know now didn't know me then so why even go there? I almost want to hide and lose the weight in secret and then go about my life and hope everyone magically forgets that I was ever overweight. Just because something is hard to do (like surviving prison lol) doesn't make it something to be proud of. I'm proud of my workouts. Those are hard AND something to be proud of. But putting myself in the position of having to lose 100+ pounds? Just get it off of me!!! :)
While I'm proud of myself for how far I've come, I sometimes feel like....Congratulating me for getting to a healthy weight is like congratulating someone who just got out of prison-they shouldn't have been there in the first place. I shouldn't have been so overweight in the first place. I started gaining weight when I was about 14 years old. I just coped with food, and I was depressed and still cope with it today. I knew better than to just eat recklessly and I saw what I was doing to my body-deforming it with food, yet I did it anyway. While I am close to my goal weight, I have been struggling to find motivation for this last haul. I look beautiful, I feel great, and for the most part, my confidence is pretty high. I almost feel like I'm only trying to lose the rest of this weight because society and mass media is telling me that as a young woman, I have to in order to be socially acceptable. At the same time, I don't want to keep carrying this extra weight around. I guess I feel like I'm darned if I do, and darned if I don't.I took a break all of last year, and just kind of maintained my weight. I then lost 20 more pounds, and am now maintaining again.
I still jog, I still exercise regularly, but lately, my food intake has been terrible. My legs are completely destroyed from my weight. I know that I'll probably have some excess skin when I do get to my goal weight, not to mention stretch marks that will also never go away. I suppose maybe that's part of why I'm stalling. I feel sad because I'm the only one standing in my way.
Honestly honestly? Very confused. I have a lot of negative and positive feelings at the same time. I beat myself up for regaining some of the weight I had lost previously, but I'm happy with my weight in the sense that I've been losing weight steadily since I got back on track. I still have weight to lose but that doesn't bother me as much as the fact that it is regained weight. I am not easy on myself, I never have been, I grew up in a pressure-cooker type environment and it's very hard to let that go. I have never been able to take pride in my accomplishments because I've always viewed any accomplishment as simply a prerequisite for the next one. It's the same with weight loss. Even when I reached my goal weight originally, I didn't feel proud, just terrified that I would fail to keep it off, and I did fail.
Fitness Minutes: (3,382)
240 4/3/13 4:45 P
Like Im never good enough.
Fitness Minutes: (11,796)
5,855 4/3/13 12:30 P
Right now, I am really disappointed in myself. I have done so well in weight loss and health recovery and now I find myself eating like the bad old days. My weight has crept up about 4 pounds. May not sound like much, but it is really frightening to me right now.
Oh, I have said all the right things but now I cannot follow my own words. I must take control again and by jingles, I will.
Fitness Minutes: (2,517)
376 4/3/13 12:27 P
I've been dealing with a real self esteem deficit for quite some time, but feel like I'm finally on the brink of kicking it. I've managed to stick with yoga now for 6 weeks and it makes me feel good about myself to see & feel the changes & to push through my resistance & do it even when I don't feel like it.
I feel pretty disgusted with myself right now. Every time you turn around, there's another holiday or birthday party or reunion or something that revolves around good eating and fellowship. I don't want to see everybody pigging out on food, whilst I'm looking like I just lost my best friend munching on carrot sticks and hummus! Just kidding about the carrot sticks and hummus, but you get the picture, don't you?
I feel happy about myself because Jesus made me, and died for my sins on the cross and arose from the dead, and because I have trusted Him to save me, He has washed my sins away with His precious blood and given me eternal life! What a wonderful Savior! How can I not love my life when He has so wonderfully saved and blessed me?
Fitness Minutes: (20,364)
2,283 4/3/13 12:01 P
A little disappointed. I am making slow progress but feel I can and should do better.
Reply to thread title: I feel both proud and sometimes frustrated about myself. This is because I have come a long way from being a lifetime member of the Fat Boys Club to 51 year old buffed guy BUT, I constantly struggle with a staying with a single "goal".
Goal #1: to be healthy
Goal #2: to have my diabetes in check
Goal #3: to weigh 155 (my BMI chart) I am currently 188
Goal #4: To have as much muscle mass as possible (given my age) My gf says I look pretty damn muscular but I want more.
It's goal 3 & 4 that I struggle with, I know not all of me is muscle, even though I eat clean for the most part I also have relapses (about 3 times a month) which keeps me from dropping more but I am down 12lbs since before Thanksgiving.
In order for me to get "bigger" muscles, I need to eat more and put on some poundage for my body to be able to widthstand the punisment needed to lift heavy. But then I get the "classic" weightlifters belly....ugh, I hate that. So right now I am down 12 pounds since Thanksgiving and guess what? I can't lift as heavy as I did back in the fall. I was bench pressing my weight + 10% back then and now I am benching my weight minus 10% (note* - I recently had a trap/neck strain injury so I had to go lighter but I don't want to use that as an excuse although it's totally legit to do so).
I am short and wide, my shoulders bump into everything/everybody (better than when my big belly use to do that, lol) and though I am mostly okay with that I sometimes see a candid pic of myself and think I look grotesque becuase I can see that I am built like a brick wall, a SHORT V-shaped brick wall, hahahahahahahaha!!!!!
I am at a very healthy weight after loosing 30+ pounds over a span of 5 years. I've kept it off for 3, but I will be honest and say that I know I have an image problem and I don't cut myself enough slack. I am not perfect nor is anyone but it's hard to realize and accept that. I think I'll always be a bit harder on myself regarding weight than anyone else would be, regardless of whether my weight is down or up. It's a tough journey!
Fitness Minutes: (80,761)
22,326 4/3/13 10:47 A
Now I have my weight under control It feels good.
I never had a weight problem until I go my engineers job. Driving around in a car did it for me.
I am now back to where I was in 1995 which feels good.
I hear so many people who lose weight say they still feel fat, could that be coming from the ones who had a weight problem as a child.. I had started gaining weight in my ladder teens and then took it off for a while. I had kids and not their fault only mine, I ate too much and gained weight. I then yo yo'd from there until now. I still need to lose the weight, but I have the opposite I feel thinner that what I am. I think sometimes this is not so good though. I don't want to be insecure, but I also need to know I need to get to work and stick with it. I still keep up with my adult niece's and nephews who are not even 30 yet, and I am almost 46 years old, actually some of them poop out faster then I. I dress appropriately as I do believe that excess poundage should be hidden, no daisy dukes or half shirts going on here. I don't know if I am complaining or if I am happy. I guess what I am saying is that my weight doesn't effect who I am much ,and sometimes maybe it should to get my butt in gear. I have no health problems as of yet, and I hope to keep it that way. I think maybe I will display my fat and ugly pics around the house to remind myself that I am over weight and need to work on it. I am fully aware that I am over weight and that is why I am here and have been for some time now. I am only getting older, so now is the time to do something before it is too late. It seems now that I am a Grandma I am slacking even more like with Grandmas it is okay to be plump baking cookies kind of thing. I know I need to reprogram my thoughts.
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