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CAROLMCCULLOCH1 SparkPoints: (141)
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Posts: 10
1/16/12 6:03 P

tabatha are you married? im sure you want to look good for your husband as well so what ever helps motivate you then thats what you do I dont believe in the postive me thing love your self first some people are movtivated by our husbands thats what workes for me

CAROLMCCULLOCH1 SparkPoints: (141)
Fitness Minutes: (120)
Posts: 10
1/16/12 5:58 P


TABATHA-DANDY SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (560)
Posts: 11
1/16/12 1:17 P

i think you just have to realise that your body is the most important thing, and that your ideal weight should be set by you, not by someone else. if you don't want to be gaining weight, then you're in the right place by coming here. if this is all for him, i'd say that it's time to look at your priorities...

CAROLMCCULLOCH1 SparkPoints: (141)
Fitness Minutes: (120)
Posts: 10
1/16/12 3:45 A

You know I was thinner when I got married and after that I started gaining weight I have heard men say why do women gain weight after they are married its like they dont care any more well that stuck with me for a while , so I started feeling bad for my husband now im gaining weight and I felt bad I was just beating my self up about it I always want to look great for my husband , but I couldn't figured it out why I was gaining weight I went to the gym 5 times a week I watched what I ate most of the time, well then a friend told me when you get older your body slows down and its harder to lose weight and when you go thru the change of life well just one more thing thats slows me down , well I stopded beating my self up and work around this you just have to work a little harder and eat better , so you ask how do you forgive your self for geting so fat? well you don't you just hit your self in the head and move on !

1/15/12 3:24 P

What I am appreciating is the fact that we all can visualize what it is and where we want to be. Everyday when I wake I log on and when I don't I log on and go back and post so for the accountability. Making it a habit of looking in the mirror and appreciating something about my physical self everyday helps. The pain of those reflection as I pass windows, shiny metal and things that reflect me image back to me are overwhelming sometimes. I don't like what I see so here I am on SP making MY change for ME.

1/6/12 5:23 A

Gah, I'm so glad other people are posting about this. I just spent the past few hours in a total unconsolable funk over this. It's wonderful that my SO loves me how I am, but all I keep thinking about is how bad I'll look in these photos. I really don't want my kids to see these in 10 years and go, "mom, how come you were so fat?" I don't want to be ashamed of how I look in photos.

Why does the dress have to be white? Ugh. I'm so tempted to wear a black burka. It also doesn't help that I just moved to the midwest from the east coast, where I'm learning that pudgy is WAY more socially acceptable here than by the beach. Makes it worse that "vegetables," "fruit," and "fish," are four-letter words here.

I'm seeing all these elements as my adversaries. I suppose I have to forgive myself, because beating myself up about it will probably lead to me feeling defeated. I'm religious, so I'm well-versed in how forgiveness is supposed to go. :)

CLOCKHART4 SparkPoints: (0)
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Posts: 6
1/3/12 10:13 P

I have also lost significant weight once in my life and am now attempting to do it again before my wedding in Aug. I have a lot to go, but I am not stressing about it too much, I will do my best, and that's all I can do.

I already bought a dress, a beautiful dress that makes me feel amazing and beautiful in it NOW, before I lose all the weight I hope to lose.

Food has always been difficult for me. I love it, it hates me, and I am the definition of an emotional eater, but I eat not just when I'm sad, I do it when I'm happy, when I'm stressed and even when I'm bored.

I am trying to work on my relationship with food, catch myself when I'm eating for no reason, but the biggest issue is just accepting myself for who I am and how I got here. I will look amazing at my wedding whether I lose all the weight I want to or not, because I'm not as concerned about the weight as I am about getting healthy again.

I have to remind myself that I'm worth the time and energy it will take me to get where I want to be, it's difficult when life gets in the way, but all we can do is wake up each day and try our best.

MOLLYSARAN Posts: 1,064
11/2/11 9:45 A

i can't change what i have done in the past but i can still impact my future :)

ARKERLIN Posts: 88
9/30/11 12:33 P

I hate it when people say "you'll be beautiful no matter what!". If you don't feel beautiful, that's what matters!

I struggle with this often. I've lost significant weight twice in my life and gained it all back. Let yourself feel the emotions of failure, but try and figure out why you failed. It will help you create a better plan.

Don't dwell on how you got here, focus on how you can get to where you want to be!

APRIL_IVY Posts: 9
9/17/11 2:49 P

I don't forgive myself, I just look at it as well it happened lets fix it. I have made several failed attempts, so this time I am making smaller short term goals so that I don't feel so pressured to fix it all right away. I know that it takes time to make it count now, so I am staying positive and not letting negativity or acceptance of my faults rule my agenda.

9/17/11 10:31 A

My personal philosophy is that because there's absolutely nothing you can do to change the past, you have to focus your energies on what you can do different in the future. Sure, you may have put on some pounds recently... so have I and so have many others here! Fretting over that won't change that and the added stress will make it harder to lose them. Try to let go and focus on the things you can do now, like how you can fit in exercise into your day as well as what kinds of healthy foods you can eat for your next meal. I think it is entirely appropriate to allow yourself to accept your past mistakes but try your best not to repeat them.

And even if you backslide at some point, you know what? You can continue to look forward, taking inventory on where you slipped up and USE THAT KNOWLEDGE to make more positive changes for the future.

It took a long time to train my brain to think this way, but taking negatives and turning them into things that are constructive is (I find) critical to moving forward.

I know you can do it! I really do.

WYO_CASEY Posts: 587
9/13/11 5:49 P

I guess I'm not forgiving myself for gaining all the weight. I feel that if I forgive myself, it's like saying it's no big deal. It is a big deal. I'm going to try to take advantage of living by myself for the next year to take care of me and my weight issue.

KIMPY225 SparkPoints: (108,792)
Fitness Minutes: (35,027)
Posts: 4,173
9/13/11 9:31 A

Staying positive is a great thing - you need to use that to actually get some of that weight lost! I was not happy about dress shopping at all - I went in with this somewhat sad attitude because I knew I had to shop in the plus sized section. It is one thing when shopping for regular clothes, but the selection is a lot smaller for gowns and some shops don't even have plus sized. I went anyways because I realized I am a beautiful girl who will be even better in a gown. I found a great dress, but didn't order it yet because I want to drop at least one size before I order it. I want to continue working on losing weight even after the dress is ordered!

Don't worry about being super thin just for the dress shopping. Take your time and make sure you are eating right. Do it for yourself, and not just for the gown. Once the wedding is over, you won't need that dress anymore, but you will still be yourself. No more hiding! You can always get the gown altered. Keep up the good work, and make sure you keep up with everything! If you slip a little, don't let it consume you. Just keep looking at your goals!

YELWADMOM SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (3,337)
Posts: 13
9/13/11 6:51 A

You can so do this!!! I was so discouraged when my dress didn't fit. I bought it back in December for my November wedding. I know I have gained about 40lbs since then. Now I know that I can do this and if I can you can. Just stay focused and let the shopping experience be your motivation. Whatever dress you pick it will be beautiful because you are.
Just after 2 weeks my dress fit but I am not giving up on this fight cause I want those 40lbs gone for good this time.

LAINEY1105 SparkPoints: (6,048)
Fitness Minutes: (4,417)
Posts: 159
9/3/11 12:53 P

I dont think you really need to "forgive" yourself; just realizing that you have changes to make and making them is a good first step. Your dress will be wonderful, and so will you,. I'm getting married this November 5th, and my dress came in last week. no fittings scheduled yet, because the shop still has no power! Ours just came back on today. With no power for 7 days, I did not exercise, and I ate terribly. However, I know that beating myself up about it won't help, so today first thing I did when the power went on was put in Jillian's DVD and work out for 30 minutes. Today, I'll go to the grocery store and replace all the food we lost with new, healthy stuff. And I'll make an appointment next week for my dress fitting. Even though I probably won't lose all the weight I wanted to by November, I'll have lost some. Hang in there - you can do it!

SCTK519 Posts: 2,086
9/3/11 11:02 A

Ah, I see. Still, it's going to be alright. You'll find a Beautiful dress that you'll look Flawless in!! And you can get it altered as needed. You don't have to be whatever weight or size until the last dress fitting. You Can Do It!! Good Luck!!

NORAMC8 Posts: 13
9/3/11 1:28 A

Well I live in Cali and I'm getting married in Boston (my hometown) and my mother's only out in December and I'm not back east until the wedding so that's the way to goes!

SCTK519 Posts: 2,086
9/3/11 1:24 A

It's a lot easier to forgive yourself when you do something about it. Starting to eat healthier or exercise more, whatever it is. December is pretty early to go dress shopping as well. I'm getting married in November this year and went dress shopping in March.

NORAMC8 Posts: 13
9/3/11 12:48 A

Ok, I try to stay positive about this weight loss thing but I had the unfortunate experience of catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror right now and realized just how BIG I've gotten in the last year and half!

I've always been normal weight with maybe 10 lbs to lose at most but now I've got 40lbs to lose before my wedding in Nov 2012 and want a significant amount gone by this December (dress shopping).

I feel so out of control and REALLY want to be thin for dress shopping. I don't think I can enjoy it if I'm not.

I see becoming this big as failure to control myself. I can usually hide failures or avoid them (I hate them). But this one I wear all day every day for everyone to see. It's so embarassing.

How does everyone deal with getting so fat? Coping skills would be helpful.

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