Author: Sorting Last Post on Top Message:
12/6/12 3:44 P

Uncomfortable. I'm rarely interested and I'm horrible at being assertive and turning the guy down. So, I usually end up stuck in awkward conversations that I want nothing to do with or making some lame excuse to get away from the guy. Oops!


Losing weight is hard. Maintaining weight is hard. Being overweight is hard. Choose your hard.
SIMOFDIM Posts: 307
12/6/12 3:41 P

It's been so long I can't remember....

XXPLAGUED SparkPoints: (3,750)
Fitness Minutes: (547)
Posts: 121
12/6/12 3:38 P

Confused, embarassed. I'm sort of socially inept so I don't really understand why they're doing it, much less how to react..

WENWASHING67 Posts: 356
12/6/12 3:35 P

Awkward, not that it happens much.

JOFGA_AK Posts: 33
12/6/12 1:58 P

Yup.. at my weight I generally think the only guys hitting on me assume I am desperate and have no self esteem. It helps that most of the few that do hit on me are married and skeevy.

BTW - I love the phrase about lapping those on the couch.

MYUTMOST4HIM Posts: 11,447
12/6/12 8:25 A

Some may just be trying to flatter - but I don't think it is very gentlemanly

"Be not afraid of going slowly, only of standing still"
EOWYN2424 Posts: 6,647
12/6/12 8:23 A

I always get hit on, even by younger guys. I wouldn't mind if it was someone I knew and liked or was attracted to. But these guys are all in the "it'll will never be possible" category, for one reason or another. Then I find it offensive and creepy!

MONIEE2 SparkPoints: (152,211)
Fitness Minutes: (49,819)
Posts: 4,739
12/4/12 10:58 P

You should NEVER allow yourself to be in that position. If he does it once, he'll do it again. My childhood sucked because of this & I vowed NEVER to live like this.

FITGLAMGIRL Posts: 2,044
12/4/12 10:51 P

Gee I wouldn't know what that is!



"Our lives are not determined by what happens to us but by how we react to what happens, not by what life brings to us, but by the attitude we bring to life. A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events, and outcomes. It is a catalyst, a spark that creates extraordinary results. "
LUDGEUBOOHOO SparkPoints: (4,419)
Fitness Minutes: (3,135)
Posts: 209
12/4/12 9:47 P

depends on who it is...if they are a creep then I am suspicious...if they are nice and clean cut, I am flattered as long as they don't get rude or to pushy...

God bless the USA
GLAMIAM SparkPoints: (1,985)
Fitness Minutes: (2,583)
Posts: 156
12/4/12 7:33 P

I don't get hit on.

MLAN613 SparkPoints: (203,876)
Fitness Minutes: (186,628)
Posts: 12,720
12/4/12 7:56 A

I loved it! I usually took it as a compliment because most of the time, it was pleasant. I am married, now, of course and got fat again so I don't really get hit on much any more.

SONICB Posts: 4,327
12/4/12 7:52 A

Suspicious, usually... Only crazy guys have hit on me in the past, and they usually end up proposing on the spot (that's how I know they're crazy).

BLUENOSE63 SparkPoints: (107,996)
Fitness Minutes: (82,255)
Posts: 2,954
12/4/12 7:20 A

Smile, say thans and make sure my ring is in full view.

EX-PRESSO Posts: 478
12/4/12 6:29 A

flattered - but I never had any problems getting attention :)

(but I'm happly married)

--MEOW-- Posts: 3,445
12/4/12 6:25 A

scared :-/

- Danny :)
Mexico City (CDT)
12/4/12 6:24 A

never happens

Keep walking by spirit and you will carry out no fleshly desire at all. Galations 5:16
TENNISJIM Posts: 11,750
12/4/12 6:15 A

If they are handsome or cute, then I would wonder why.

SSCOTT331 SparkPoints: (29,303)
Fitness Minutes: (20,178)
Posts: 1,559
12/4/12 6:14 A

Don't think it's ever happened. LOL

TEDDIEBEAR1209 SparkPoints: (113,079)
Fitness Minutes: (63,177)
Posts: 6,008
12/3/12 10:26 P


Choose happiness everyday :)
FENWAYGIRL18 Posts: 5,866
12/3/12 10:06 P

Flattered but happily married

Starting to like the new me!
Waiting for my garden to come to life!
LALA_1012 Posts: 1,364
12/3/12 10:06 P

Flattered : )

UMBILICAL Posts: 12,786
12/3/12 9:38 P

I take it as a compliment - how else would you feel?

MMCKIE SparkPoints: (15,819)
Fitness Minutes: (12,112)
Posts: 99
12/3/12 9:29 P

It makes my!

ETHELMERZ Posts: 8,658
12/3/12 9:18 P

I get a kick out of the old guys at Denny's!!

MUSHCAT Posts: 4,639
12/3/12 9:16 P

It depends on the circumstances, but I am usually flattered.

Happy Days come from a limitless well I can drink from whenever I choose - Petra Van Baar

I thank God for all His Blessings on me,
And the mercy that He's bestowed.
I'm drinking from my saucer,
'Cause my cup has overflowed. - Michael Combs

Wishing you love, peace, joy, and blessings, Judi

ONMYWEIGH60 Posts: 805
12/3/12 8:40 P

I love it considering I am 60 years old and married LOL

Wishing all fellow Sparklers a healthy and happy journey!

Hugs and Friendship

GLITTERFAIRY77 Posts: 8,023
12/3/12 8:05 P

I live in an area where "Da** you got a fat a**!" is totally meant as a compliment. I get that a lot. It's the spirit of the words that make them an insult or a compliement.

MamiSheli53 is my MOM!!!

Abi~Rochester, NY

Aim for progress...NOT perfection.

Starting weight July 2012: 310
(dates of accomplishment for the following to come)
GW1: 280 passed 2/8/13-278!
GW2: 250
GW3: 220
GW4: 200
GW5: 175

I can do ALLLLLL things through Christ who strengthens me.

"It's a long, hard climb-but I'm gonna get there."

"If you stay focused on the past, you will never be able to see what lies ahead."
JEFFGIRL Posts: 7,533
12/3/12 6:06 P

A LONG time ago when that still happened, it depended on the manner in which it was done. Sometimes I was flattered-other times offended. Now it's not a problem. :-)

MEANREDS92 Posts: 818
12/3/12 5:46 P

Annoyed, because it's always men twenty years older than me, and/or completely objective like "Nice a**" or something to that effect or wolf whistling.

AZULVIOLETA6 SparkPoints: (66,733)
Fitness Minutes: (74,443)
Posts: 3,293
12/3/12 3:36 P

Well, I've always gotten hit on a lot, even when I was quite heavy. Three times in one day once, when I weighed about 250! I've also spent a large part of my life living in Latin America, where the whole culture of flirting is much more overt than it is in the United States. So, I am used to it, and don't usually find it awkward or bothersome. I tend to enjoy it most of the time. It's a compliment and you don't really need to DO anything with it.

However, with my last ten pounds of weight loss, somehow things have become more intense and more confusing. Like the OP, I also have some long-term, totally platonic male friends who are suddenly looking at me differently, acting differently around me and interacting with me in different ways. In one case, the friend is someone I have known for more than ten years--he knew me when I was much thinner than I am now, but he has never acted attracted to me before. He is probably the best and nicest person that I know and we are close, but we've never been affectionate with each other at all in the past. Suddenly he is flirting with me and can't keep his hands off of me. It's nice, but odd.

I am the same person inside, but the way people perceive me is shifting. It's strange to realize that even for someone who is not a shallow person and someone who always cared about me no matter how much I weighed (like the friend I mention above) the weight loss still makes a big difference. Part of me wants to be disappointed in human nature, but as I look at my before-and-after pictures, I realize that this is just reality.

Dances: salsa (standard/LA), casino, rueda de casino, cumbia Colombiana, cumba Mexicana, bachata, mambo, cha-cha-chá, merengue, reggaetón.

Dances to Learn in the future: flamenco, tango Argentino, samba, belly dancing, bhangra, danzón, Cuban rumba, ballroom rumba
TACDGB Posts: 6,136
12/3/12 3:03 P

love it......don't know how to handle it. Good for the self esteem

NSMANN Posts: 970
12/3/12 3:00 P


GLITTERFAIRY77 Posts: 8,023
12/3/12 2:25 P

I totally agree with YMUnderwood. Really, it can be flattering, but I am sure to show my ring, either way. I don't usually engage them in conversation.

Yes. Big chicks get hit on, too.

MamiSheli53 is my MOM!!!

Abi~Rochester, NY

Aim for progress...NOT perfection.

Starting weight July 2012: 310
(dates of accomplishment for the following to come)
GW1: 280 passed 2/8/13-278!
GW2: 250
GW3: 220
GW4: 200
GW5: 175

I can do ALLLLLL things through Christ who strengthens me.

"It's a long, hard climb-but I'm gonna get there."

"If you stay focused on the past, you will never be able to see what lies ahead."
YMUNDERWOOD SparkPoints: (254,161)
Fitness Minutes: (185,906)
Posts: 18,699
12/3/12 2:24 P

It depends on how they do it, someimes it's a good feeling and sometimes it very annoying.

LISA_SUMNER08 SparkPoints: (14,165)
Fitness Minutes: (4,464)
Posts: 379
12/3/12 2:06 P

I've only lost a few pounds but a couple inches. I notice guys hit on me a little more. It is flattering!


The question should be, is it worth trying to do, not can it be done.
- Allard Lowenstein

Reach 180 by 8/1/13
Reach 175 by 10/01/13
Reach 170 by 12/01/13
Reach 165 by 2/1/14
OBIESMOM2 SparkPoints: (107,830)
Fitness Minutes: (64,532)
Posts: 7,216
12/3/12 2:01 P

usually surprised. Sometimes this isn't good for the poor guy, because my reaction is probably not what he expected.

once XH & I went to his favorite bar. He headed to the restroom as soon as we walked in. I knew the girl tending bar that night, so I went over to the bar. When I sat down, a guy at the other end said, "can I buy you a drink?" I busted out laughing. I didn't know people really said that. I thought that was just in movies.

another time some pimply kid working at Kroger was making a very lame attempt at hitting on me. I just gave him one of these looks emoticon and went on about my shopping. I felt like asking if he was even old enough to drive yet!

The most handicapped person in the world is a negative thinker; a person who has the skills, abilities, talents and tools, yet chooses not to use them.
~Heather Whitestone

Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in.
~Leonard Cohen
MARITIMER3 SparkPoints: (154,777)
Fitness Minutes: (84,211)
Posts: 8,275
12/3/12 1:43 P

Fat or thin, when you get to a "certain age", it doesn't happen very often any more... so I miss it!

Eastern Time Zone
CHEETARA79 SparkPoints: (84,355)
Fitness Minutes: (79,843)
Posts: 3,510
12/3/12 1:43 P

Very uncomfortable.

You don't have to eat the whole thing.
TURTLESDOVE Posts: 1,067
12/3/12 1:42 P

I love it. It brings my self esteem up.

RUKIDDINGME123 SparkPoints: (36,221)
Fitness Minutes: (11,119)
Posts: 1,795
12/3/12 1:39 P

If it ever happens I will let you know.


"Genes load the gun and lifestyle pulls the trigger"

STODD251 Posts: 716
12/3/12 12:39 P

It totally depends on who it is... When some random stranger on the street tried to hit on me, I just get skeeved out by it. However, most of the time I am oblivious to the fact someone is trying to hit on me unless someone points it out or they make it super obvious. I've got to get better about handling that.

SLUGGER17 SparkPoints: (90,356)
Fitness Minutes: (103,940)
Posts: 1,404
12/3/12 11:55 A

Generally I'm flattered. It's good for the self esteem. However, the crude ones never flatter me.

I_HEART_MY_FAM Posts: 1,809
12/3/12 11:51 A

Thanks and glad you took my advice lol

12/2/12 12:45 P

That's good advice! Ignore.

I_HEART_MY_FAM Posts: 1,809
12/2/12 12:44 P

It depends on how it was given here are two I had. One was an absolute compliment and made me smile, the other made me mad and I wanted to tell him off but he looked like he might hit me if I did.

The one I liked is when I was in the store getting a drink from the machine, a handsome business man looked over and said I should have known you were married, all the beautiful ones are,.I seen you walk in when I drove into the parking lot, would you happen to have a single sister that looks like you? I liked it :)

The one I hated was a guy telling me I have a nice ass. It made me mad! :( No class! He continued more talk but I played deaf ear to him all the way through. Then he asked what you stuck up, too good to talk? I ignored that too. He was getting mad I was ignoring him that was the good part.

YOJULEZ SparkPoints: (15,804)
Fitness Minutes: (120)
Posts: 2,171
12/2/12 12:36 P

Pretty good, but I also regress into awkward teenager and have no idea what to say. I also do feel a little taken aback also, as I was never the type that guys hit on in the bar or anything, even when I was smaller 7 years ago, unless you count drunk ones that would make rude remarks about my chest size.

We were at a country show on Friday night and BF went to the bar to get some drinks. While he was gone, this rodeo cowboy who was super cute bumped into me while walking by, so I jabbed him with my elbow (not nice but I was tired of people bumping into me), and he looked at me at first like I was nuts but then after he saw me he started talking to me and invited me to go to his rodeo the next day LOL I was super awkward throughout the whole exchange and towards the end told him I had a boyfriend and he was like "oh, well he can come too" but then he left.

I will say I felt pretty darn good about myself though, and I told BF about it and he was super nice to me, more clingy than he normally is, and complimenting me the rest of the night, haha!

Edited by: YOJULEZ at: 12/2/2012 (12:42)
If you're interested in checking out the food I've made and liked, come visit me on Pinterest, and feel free to follow me:
12/2/12 12:28 P

This question is particularly for people who have lost weight and are noticing that men are now paying more attention to them.

I've noticed that men hit on me now more than they did before, and I'm not always sure how to handle it. I'm also noticing that guy friends/acquaintances are now more interested in me and in general, pay more attention to me. Not that it's happening all the time, but it's definitely more than it used to.

Often I just feel shocked and taken aback- especially if it's a guy that I find attractive. Whenever guys are hitting on me, I always end up thinking, "I can't believe that someone actually finds me attractive.... I'm fat."

I haven't even lost all of the weight yet. If this is happening now, I can imagine that it will happen more as I continue to lose weight.

Page: 1 of (1)  

Other SparkPeople Cafe Topics:

Topics: Last Post:
Spark teams vs message boards 6/27/2014 6:21:29 AM
Setbacks 6/24/2014 5:35:49 PM
Friday 9/6/2014 11:21:34 AM
Losing weight without any effort.... 7/23/2014 3:20:46 PM
Have you ever played unusal non-video games? 4/19/2014 9:00:50 PM