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How do you feel when men hit on you?

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Posts: 255
12/6/12 3:44 P

Uncomfortable. I'm rarely interested and I'm horrible at being assertive and turning the guy down. So, I usually end up stuck in awkward conversations that I want nothing to do with or making some lame excuse to get away from the guy. Oops!

Posts: 307
12/6/12 3:41 P

It's been so long I can't remember....

SparkPoints: (3,746)
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Posts: 121
12/6/12 3:38 P

Confused, embarassed. I'm sort of socially inept so I don't really understand why they're doing it, much less how to react..

Posts: 356
12/6/12 3:35 P

Awkward, not that it happens much.

Posts: 33
12/6/12 1:58 P

Yup.. at my weight I generally think the only guys hitting on me assume I am desperate and have no self esteem. It helps that most of the few that do hit on me are married and skeevy.

BTW - I love the phrase about lapping those on the couch.

Posts: 11,447
12/6/12 8:25 A

Some may just be trying to flatter - but I don't think it is very gentlemanly

Posts: 5,685
12/6/12 8:23 A

I always get hit on, even by younger guys. I wouldn't mind if it was someone I knew and liked or was attracted to. But these guys are all in the "it'll will never be possible" category, for one reason or another. Then I find it offensive and creepy!

SparkPoints: (118,949)
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Posts: 4,495
12/4/12 10:58 P

You should NEVER allow yourself to be in that position. If he does it once, he'll do it again. My childhood sucked because of this & I vowed NEVER to live like this.

Posts: 2,035
12/4/12 10:51 P

Gee I wouldn't know what that is!

SparkPoints: (4,419)
Fitness Minutes: (3,135)
Posts: 209
12/4/12 9:47 P

depends on who it is...if they are a creep then I am suspicious...if they are nice and clean cut, I am flattered as long as they don't get rude or to pushy...

SparkPoints: (1,985)
Fitness Minutes: (2,583)
Posts: 156
12/4/12 7:33 P

I don't get hit on.

SparkPoints: (153,268)
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Posts: 10,024
12/4/12 7:56 A

I loved it! I usually took it as a compliment because most of the time, it was pleasant. I am married, now, of course and got fat again so I don't really get hit on much any more.

Posts: 4,212
12/4/12 7:52 A

Suspicious, usually... Only crazy guys have hit on me in the past, and they usually end up proposing on the spot (that's how I know they're crazy).

SparkPoints: (100,338)
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Posts: 2,953
12/4/12 7:20 A

Smile, say thans and make sure my ring is in full view.

Posts: 478
12/4/12 6:29 A

flattered - but I never had any problems getting attention :)

(but I'm happly married)

Posts: 3,327
12/4/12 6:25 A

scared :-/

Posts: 532
12/4/12 6:24 A

never happens

Posts: 9,680
12/4/12 6:15 A

If they are handsome or cute, then I would wonder why.

SparkPoints: (22,671)
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Posts: 1,348
12/4/12 6:14 A

Don't think it's ever happened. LOL

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Posts: 3,841
12/3/12 10:26 P


Posts: 5,853
12/3/12 10:06 P

Flattered but happily married

Posts: 1,361
12/3/12 10:06 P

Flattered : )

Posts: 11,343
12/3/12 9:38 P

I take it as a compliment - how else would you feel?

SparkPoints: (15,819)
Fitness Minutes: (12,112)
Posts: 99
12/3/12 9:29 P

It makes my!

SparkPoints: (81,164)
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Posts: 3,739
12/3/12 9:18 P

I get a kick out of the old guys at Denny's!!

Posts: 4,639
12/3/12 9:16 P

It depends on the circumstances, but I am usually flattered.

Posts: 805
12/3/12 8:40 P

I love it considering I am 60 years old and married LOL

Posts: 8,023
12/3/12 8:05 P

I live in an area where "Da** you got a fat a**!" is totally meant as a compliment. I get that a lot. It's the spirit of the words that make them an insult or a compliement.

SparkPoints: (112,045)
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Posts: 4,490
12/3/12 6:06 P

A LONG time ago when that still happened, it depended on the manner in which it was done. Sometimes I was flattered-other times offended. Now it's not a problem. :-)

Posts: 818
12/3/12 5:46 P

Annoyed, because it's always men twenty years older than me, and/or completely objective like "Nice a**" or something to that effect or wolf whistling.

SparkPoints: (55,421)
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Posts: 2,703
12/3/12 3:36 P

Well, I've always gotten hit on a lot, even when I was quite heavy. Three times in one day once, when I weighed about 250! I've also spent a large part of my life living in Latin America, where the whole culture of flirting is much more overt than it is in the United States. So, I am used to it, and don't usually find it awkward or bothersome. I tend to enjoy it most of the time. It's a compliment and you don't really need to DO anything with it.

However, with my last ten pounds of weight loss, somehow things have become more intense and more confusing. Like the OP, I also have some long-term, totally platonic male friends who are suddenly looking at me differently, acting differently around me and interacting with me in different ways. In one case, the friend is someone I have known for more than ten years--he knew me when I was much thinner than I am now, but he has never acted attracted to me before. He is probably the best and nicest person that I know and we are close, but we've never been affectionate with each other at all in the past. Suddenly he is flirting with me and can't keep his hands off of me. It's nice, but odd.

I am the same person inside, but the way people perceive me is shifting. It's strange to realize that even for someone who is not a shallow person and someone who always cared about me no matter how much I weighed (like the friend I mention above) the weight loss still makes a big difference. Part of me wants to be disappointed in human nature, but as I look at my before-and-after pictures, I realize that this is just reality.

Posts: 6,106
12/3/12 3:03 P

love it......don't know how to handle it. Good for the self esteem

Posts: 963
12/3/12 3:00 P


Posts: 8,023
12/3/12 2:25 P

I totally agree with YMUnderwood. Really, it can be flattering, but I am sure to show my ring, either way. I don't usually engage them in conversation.

Yes. Big chicks get hit on, too.

SparkPoints: (198,515)
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Posts: 18,692
12/3/12 2:24 P

It depends on how they do it, someimes it's a good feeling and sometimes it very annoying.

SparkPoints: (14,085)
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Posts: 374
12/3/12 2:06 P

I've only lost a few pounds but a couple inches. I notice guys hit on me a little more. It is flattering!

SparkPoints: (61,119)
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Posts: 4,472
12/3/12 2:01 P

usually surprised. Sometimes this isn't good for the poor guy, because my reaction is probably not what he expected.

once XH & I went to his favorite bar. He headed to the restroom as soon as we walked in. I knew the girl tending bar that night, so I went over to the bar. When I sat down, a guy at the other end said, "can I buy you a drink?" I busted out laughing. I didn't know people really said that. I thought that was just in movies.

another time some pimply kid working at Kroger was making a very lame attempt at hitting on me. I just gave him one of these looks emoticon and went on about my shopping. I felt like asking if he was even old enough to drive yet!

SparkPoints: (111,673)
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Posts: 5,932
12/3/12 1:43 P

Fat or thin, when you get to a "certain age", it doesn't happen very often any more... so I miss it!

SparkPoints: (73,974)
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Posts: 3,488
12/3/12 1:43 P

Very uncomfortable.

Posts: 1,061
12/3/12 1:42 P

I love it. It brings my self esteem up.

SparkPoints: (28,521)
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Posts: 1,778
12/3/12 1:39 P

If it ever happens I will let you know.

Posts: 640
12/3/12 12:39 P

It totally depends on who it is... When some random stranger on the street tried to hit on me, I just get skeeved out by it. However, most of the time I am oblivious to the fact someone is trying to hit on me unless someone points it out or they make it super obvious. I've got to get better about handling that.

SparkPoints: (85,023)
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Posts: 1,403
12/3/12 11:55 A

Generally I'm flattered. It's good for the self esteem. However, the crude ones never flatter me.

Posts: 1,809
12/3/12 11:51 A

Thanks and glad you took my advice lol

Posts: 15,787
12/2/12 12:45 P

That's good advice! Ignore.

Posts: 1,809
12/2/12 12:44 P

It depends on how it was given here are two I had. One was an absolute compliment and made me smile, the other made me mad and I wanted to tell him off but he looked like he might hit me if I did.

The one I liked is when I was in the store getting a drink from the machine, a handsome business man looked over and said I should have known you were married, all the beautiful ones are,.I seen you walk in when I drove into the parking lot, would you happen to have a single sister that looks like you? I liked it :)

The one I hated was a guy telling me I have a nice ass. It made me mad! :( No class! He continued more talk but I played deaf ear to him all the way through. Then he asked what you stuck up, too good to talk? I ignored that too. He was getting mad I was ignoring him that was the good part.

SparkPoints: (15,605)
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Posts: 2,171
12/2/12 12:36 P

Pretty good, but I also regress into awkward teenager and have no idea what to say. I also do feel a little taken aback also, as I was never the type that guys hit on in the bar or anything, even when I was smaller 7 years ago, unless you count drunk ones that would make rude remarks about my chest size.

We were at a country show on Friday night and BF went to the bar to get some drinks. While he was gone, this rodeo cowboy who was super cute bumped into me while walking by, so I jabbed him with my elbow (not nice but I was tired of people bumping into me), and he looked at me at first like I was nuts but then after he saw me he started talking to me and invited me to go to his rodeo the next day LOL I was super awkward throughout the whole exchange and towards the end told him I had a boyfriend and he was like "oh, well he can come too" but then he left.

I will say I felt pretty darn good about myself though, and I told BF about it and he was super nice to me, more clingy than he normally is, and complimenting me the rest of the night, haha!

Edited by: YOJULEZ at: 12/2/2012 (12:42)

Posts: 369
12/2/12 12:28 P

This question is particularly for people who have lost weight and are noticing that men are now paying more attention to them.

I've noticed that men hit on me now more than they did before, and I'm not always sure how to handle it. I'm also noticing that guy friends/acquaintances are now more interested in me and in general, pay more attention to me. Not that it's happening all the time, but it's definitely more than it used to.

Often I just feel shocked and taken aback- especially if it's a guy that I find attractive. Whenever guys are hitting on me, I always end up thinking, "I can't believe that someone actually finds me attractive.... I'm fat."

I haven't even lost all of the weight yet. If this is happening now, I can imagine that it will happen more as I continue to lose weight.

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