I usually ignore negative comments & change the subject, in real time. The hard part is not letting them get stuck in your head.
If someone is habitually negative I try to let their comments roll off my back. If it is someone who is generally not negative, I see if the negative comment might either have some degree of truth I don't want to face, OR if they could have meant well but accidentally put their foot in it.
Moms are hard. My mom means well and loves me but doesn't always know how to express it without sounding overly critical, and she's totally allergic to non-backhanded compliments. I try to remember she WANTS to help even though she's really actually very bad at helping. She really can't help it. Thankfully I have siblings who also see it.
The person who told you that they thought you were ill because of the weight loss could have been trying to express sympathy or offer help in what they perceived as your time of need. Sudden weight loss is a hallmark of many difficult diseases and/or their treatments, and maybe that person was genuinely trying to be helpful. They could also be someone who was trying to sabotage your self esteem. I'd have to know the person to be sure.
Keep focused on your own health and go for your goals!
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i am not sure that I see someone saying that you lost enough weight as negative. Maybe it is their way of saying you look good but go about it in a round about way. Now if they said you are too skinny right now and will look worse if you lose more, that would be negative.
Like Ruth, I don't tell people how much I want to lose or how much i currently weigh. That is really between me and God and sometimes i would throw in my doctor.
Fitness Minutes: (35,268)
10/24/13 12:26 P
I am at a weight where I've had a coworker routinely tell me that I don't need to lose anymore weight. To me that's not the point. I want to gain strength. I want to be healthy. I'm OK with it if I shed a few more pounds along the way. So, I feel your situation, and I agree with what has been said, but I would add something, as well.
When people are negative, whether it's about weight or something else, I'm trying to learn not to receive it into myself. Instead, of thinking about it and ruminating on it, I'm trying to learn to think about something else. For example, there's tension in a relationship in my life. So last night, instead of thinking about it, I threw myself into one of my positive goals. I found myself so energized and charged with the positive, that the negative wasn't even relevant anymore. So you might try just letting what your mom said roll off, and sticking to your course. I think you know how to get where you're going, as long as you stick to it. After all, you've made it this far!
Fitness Minutes: (174,973)
21,519 10/24/13 7:40 A
I totally agree with MissRuth's advise. Talk about food as fuel and making choices that nurture your well being...period.
I don't mention wanting to lose any more weight at all-- when I talk about it, I stick strictly to talking about a healthy lifestyle. Whole grains, lean meat, low fat dairy, lots of vegetables and fruit. How can they argue with wanting to eat healthy? Sure, they may say, well you're thin enough, you can have this cookie, piece of cake, half a pizza, whatever. And *maybe* if it looks really really good, I'll have a bite. But I've always just stressed eating healthy and not hardly talked about losing weight at all-- and they've gotten used to the fact that I routinely turn down all that kind of stuff.
Ruth in Cookeville, TN Central Time Zone
Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think - Christopher Robin to Pooh
10/23/13 5:30 P
How do you deal with people who say you've lost enough weight and that you shouldn't lose any more? I'm 5' 3" and started at 138lbs and am now down to 126.8 lbs so not exactly huge but not exactly dangerously thin either. I want to get down to around 118 lbs - I did once weigh a little less but I don't think I looked good for my frame. The thing is I don't think 118 lbs is too small - I want to be athletic and strong not skinny - but I've already had people say please don't lose any more (my mother) and how somebody could tell I had been ill because I had lost weight (somebody I work with).
How do you deal with the negative comments? And how do you explain to people that in fact I do want to lose a little more weight but that its a healthy thing?
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