I think people in this world need more a sense of humor, thanks for reporting my signature.
~Wake up each day with a full smile and happy positive thoughts, it will help you get through the day and the tough things in life~Me.
4/28/10 9:21 P
Where there are lies... there can be not trust...where there is no trust....there is constant insecurity and fear...where there is constant insecurity and fear...I would not be able to live with constant insecurity and fear..
Fitness Minutes: (31,019)
3,129 4/28/10 7:24 P
I would rethink the marriage thing. People do not ususally change just because they marry and you would be asking for a lifetime of heartache....besides why do you want to hang out with someone who lies to you....move on is the right suggestion here.
In my own personal experience, i realy think you need to think very hard about all the lies he's told you "little & or big) & make a list, confront him about it & tell him how you TRUELY feel about everything & that the lying HAS to stop right now or it's unfortunately over. I had a very long & torturing relationship for almost 10 years (almost 5 being married) & it was noting but little lies here & there, i later found out that there were major lies he had told me later on that were devistating. He was a cronalogical liar & never got help. I am now happily divorced but plead with you to PLEASE NOT make the same mistake i did! Please take this seriously & do something about this now & if it continues, do NOT marry him, it will only change who you are because you'l end up bending to him & his lies & most likely trying to cover them up for him (because of embarassment by friends &/or family.) I did that too, it's not a good feeling. I hope this finds you well & it helps.
Fitness Minutes: (46,515)
1,117 4/28/10 7:15 P
Any problems before the marriage will be much worse after. A chronic liar has a major problem and needs help. I would suggest you move on.
Fitness Minutes: (47,353)
7,527 4/28/10 7:08 P
If he can't be honest with you, whom can he be honest with.. I would say before leaving him, I don't know where I have you.. If you told me the truth, in the least you respect my intelligence.. I may go crazy when you do dumb stuff- but a partnership is about working stuff out together as a team.. I will have to work on my temper and you with feeling comfortable telling the honest truth..
Edited by: RENA1965 at: 4/27/2010 (13:27)
"I shall shape my future. Whether I fail or succeed shall be no man's doing but my own. I am the force; I can clear any obstacle before me. Or I can be lost in the maze. My choice. My responsbility. Win or lose, only I hold the key to my destiny." -google first. ask questions later ¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨) ¸.·*¨) (***Rena ***) (¸.·´~ (¸.·* ~ (¸.·*
My brother has always been a person to lie, it was always small stuff, and recently we found out that he was married to someone who lived in Ca, and had his girlfriend here in MO taking care of his animals and house, now that marriage is over, and the girlfriend still doesn't know that he got married 2 years ago, and no one in the family is telling her either. Wow this is better than any soap opera and it is my family, which I am staying far away as I don't agree with this behavior. I just feel sorry for his girlfriend he is only using her. once a liar always a liar, it just plain hurts everyone.
I was married to someone who lied constantly. I had to leave with a 2 and 1/2 week old and and 2 and 1/2 year old because the lies grew and created a dangerous situation. Please rethink. My boys and I have been blessed with a wonderful and honest man. The days of being detective to figure out which information was a lie and which was truth are over. You are worth a good man.
Edited by: ZIGFISH at: 4/27/2010 (12:16)
Brenda - NY
BLC21 - Navy Ninja
Enjoying life and focusing on God, family and health.
I don't deal well at all with being lied to by anyone. It is a trust breaker. If trust is not the foundation of a relationship, it can be a deal breaker because you will always be second guessing every response. Do confront him and let him know how it made you feel.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Pil 4:13.
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, constant in prayer. Rom 12:12
Try to work it out with him, let him know this is not acceptable and that there may not be a future with you if this behavior continues, Now that part was you head and common sense talking. Now as far as your heart is concern, I say from the famous words of Dr. Phil, never invest more than your able to handle loosing. Anyway it's something like that. Think long and hard because even though I've never been married, I do know that the I dos alone will not change the behavior. I wish you both all the best!!!
BILL60, LOL!!! I totally get it!!!
Edited by: MOUCHE at: 4/27/2010 (10:22)
I will strive to be the best temple of God I can be
Or don't you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? 1 Cor 6:19 NLT
I would confront, find out what he is trying to hide from you. Is it his own insecurities, is it to spare feelings- or is he leading another life and doesn't want to get caught? If it's to spare your feelings, let him know that you'd rather have the truth. If it's his own insecurities, maybe you could help him with that. If it's where he's been and what he's been up to- let him go- it won't get better.
My ex, who i thought i would marry, turned out to be a liar too. And although it was hard to let him go...Once a liar, ALWAYS a liar! He had no right to lie to me and your fiance has no right to lie to you. My advice would be to try and move on because, if it is the same situation as me, you deserve a lot better out of a marriage and a relationship!
159: Magazines (DONE! April 4) 154: Spring Dress (DONE April 30) 149: Out on the town! (DONE! May). 144: Mani/Pedi 139: Shoes :) 134: Designer Jeans? 129: BIKINI! 124: New clothes!!
Like others have said, is he lying about things to not hurt your feelings or is it bigger? If its bigger, you might want to get professional help... and possibly delay your marriage until you feel he is being honest with you. Its painful to think about, but it may be the best because little lies can get bigger and bigger and who knows what those lies are hiding.
I would call him out on it and if that didn't help things I'd let him know it's a big issue. Thankfully my fiance is an awful liar and he knows he isn't getting away with whatever it is he's lying about and thankfully that isn't often. Honesty is important in a relationship regardless of the significance of the lie.
At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them.-Meredeth-Grey's Anatomy
Once one dismisses the rest of all possible worlds,
One finds that this is the best of all possible worlds.
Fitness Minutes: (176,425)
4/26/10 8:56 P
My ex-husband did that a lot and was a pathological liar. He would lie, and I don't even think he'd realize it. Just over stupid stuff. To everybody. It was before and after we got married but I got fed up with other things (lying about getting fired, etc.) and decided to get divorced from him. I confronted him about it a LOT but it didn't do much good really. :\ I got to the point when I could figure out he was lying.
I'm not sure what my advice would be, but if you are not 100% sure this is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with, and are thinking about the future marriage, I would put a LOT of thought into it before you go through. Even on my wedding day, I was wondering if I should do it. I wish I had gone with my gut thought and feelings and I would have saved myself a LOT of pain. : If you need anything - just stop by my page.
Fitness Minutes: (50,180)
4/26/10 8:53 P
I would confront him about his lying. Let him know how you feel. I would ask him to go with you to get help about this. If he's not willing I'd let him go. I can't stand people who lie. I live with a person who lies. And yes I am done with him. Little lies turn into big ones and then the trust is gone.
Lying shows lack of charactor..if he lies about little stuff..he'll lie about the big stuff too. If you were my friend or daughter, I would say run for the hills, and get your self a real man not a boy, who plays games with your heart.
But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up as wings of eagles; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint...Isaiah 40:31
Fear knocked at the door. Faith answered..No one was there. Author Unknown.
yes what is he lying about? if its where hes been, get rid of him and tell him he wont need to lie to you anymore! break ups are tough, just went through one in the last 9 months, but if you look at the issues that you struggle with (lying) and know there are others out there who will treat you like you deserve to be treated. I would never marry a lier! he will make you look like a fool if he hasnt already. good luck!
Fitness Minutes: (13,182)
1,670 4/26/10 8:20 P
Just remember that he is treating you better now then he will ever treat you after you marry him. If someone tells lies, then they have a character flaw. If they are just courtesy lies, like "no you do not look fat in those pants", then he is trying not to hurt your feelings. If that is the case, then I would just have a chat with him about that....
Have you asked him why he does this? He may be insecure and lies to impress you. Or he may be covering something up. Either way, you need to get to the bottom of this before you commit to marriage. This is serious.
Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Sometimes it rains. ******************** It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop. - Confucius
I would not stay with anyone who lied to me! Trust is monumental in any relationship. Get out now if they are lying to you! It might be over stupid stuff now but what about when you are married and he starts with the big stuff? Look at Tiger Woods!
Edited by: MARIABELLA at: 4/26/2010 (19:16)
4/26/10 6:54 P
I would refuse to deal with ANYONE who is a constant liar.
Why marry into that?
ï¿½We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.ï¿½ ~ Randy Pausch
"There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstance permit. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results." ~ Art Turock
"We have a saying in Tibet: If a problem can be solved, there is no use worrying about it. If it can't be solved, worrying will do no good." ~ 7 Years in T
My first thought would be he needs professional help. That is because I must love him to be a fiancé. My next thought is tell him to get lost, because my rule goes like this: Lie to me once, let it slide, lie to me twice; could be a special circumstance, lie to me a third time and you're gone; and mean it! I had to do that to someone who was a friend once and it was painful, but I could not trust that he would not take advantage of my forgiving him every time he made up another fairy tale.
But truly - if this is someone you want to spend your life with; consider seeking help for the person.
Best of luck to you both.
"Success is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm" -Winston Churchill
4/26/10 6:27 P
Depends on what you mean by stupid stuff?
Is he telling you dinner was delicious to spare your feelings? Or that you look great in your jeans that maybe you don't look so great in?
Or is he lying about money and where he has been for two hours.
Eat what you like and if someone comments, eat them too
My Rat Terrier has Congestive Heart Failure and other health problems. Making a purchase from Mandies_Friends Zazzle Store helps with her medical costs www.zazzle.com/mandies_friends+gifts
My fiance constantly lies to me about stupid stuff and I don't know how to deal with him and it is always little stuff, I don't know how to deal with it and I don't know how I'm suppose to marry him with him always lying to me.
SparkPeople, SparkCoach, SparkPages, SparkPoints, SparkDiet, SparkAmerica, SparkRecipes, DailySpark, and other marks are trademarks of SparkPeople, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
SPARKPEOPLE is a registered trademark of SparkPeople, Inc. in the United States, European Union, Canada, and Australia. All rights reserved.