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How can you still trust God if you have a raw deal



 
 
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MWILSON432
Posts: 97
2/10/12 7:52 A

This is one of the most inspirational stories that I know...this man, Horatio Spafford, lost all of his children in a tragic shipwreck. And then wrote the famous hymn "It Is Well with My Soul."

Here is a link to the story...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It_Is_Well_
with_My_Soul

And here is a link to the song...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHe_qmo3g
X4&feature=related




MWILSON432
Posts: 97
2/10/12 7:46 A

I'm sorry that you have had a rouge shake. The truth is, I think everyone has their ups and downs, though some far worse than others. I believe we serve a just God. I also believe that we all, like Jesus, have our crosses to bear. I too have my own list of "why, God? why?". I spent a long time in my life feeling like a victim and trying not to be angry with God. And then I realized that if God didn't let bad things happen to good people, we would not have compassion, love and empathy. How are we supposed to even relate to Jesus on the cross if we don't experience our own cross? If there is no struggle, why would we even need God? Personally, I have accepted that this is earth, not heaven, and things are not perfect here. You need to start being grateful for the things that God has saved you from that you don't even realize. I will be praying for you. *hugs*



EOWYN2424
SparkPoints: (114,994)
Fitness Minutes: (18,165)
Posts: 5,555
2/10/12 6:37 A

reposted so everyone can access it!
There's also a piece on Heaven that's very interesting too!


www.biblestudytools.com/search/?q=Don%27t+
waste+your+cancer&ps=10&s=BibleStudy


Thanks, KIMBEEJ16!

Edited by: EOWYN2424 at: 2/10/2012 (07:11)


KIMBEEJ16
Posts: 540
2/9/12 8:16 P

http://www.biblestudytools.com/search/?q=D
on%27t+waste+your+cancer&ps=10&s=Bible
Study

I hope this link works! It gave me a new insight in how to look at and approach serious illness.



COACHSEAN
SparkPoints: (3,090)
Fitness Minutes: (2,546)
Posts: 37
2/9/12 12:28 P

I know this is an older thread on this board but I just wanted to add one thing.

I'm not "religious" but do believe/hope that there is someone or something more out there. Maybe she has sent you to these people to show them compassion and understanding. Maybe it is your supposed to be the one that is teaching them. Maybe through your struggles and strength they can better themselves.

My son has a whole host of medical mysteries none of which anyone can figure out. But I can honestly say he has changed the lives of many, many people that he has met just being himself.

Being mad at God has never ended well for anyone. Dealing with a chronic illness can not be easy and I won't pretend to understand. Maybe you need to speak with someone that can help you deal with these feelings.

Good luck.



CONQUERGRAVITY
Posts: 1,514
2/7/12 9:59 P

I don't believe that God is some puppetmaster in the sky, sitting around and manipulating our lives and giving one person everything while another person gets screwed.

People put too much responsibility on a deity that is outside of their sphere of understanding. We look for outside influences to blame for our problems. We want an easy answer for why things are the way they are. We want to think that if we just sit around and pray really, really hard somebody else will swoop in and fix things for us.

I just don't think it works that way.

The Quakers speak of the idea of "that of God" within each of us - a spark of the divine in each human soul. I like that idea. Whatever power may or may not be out there in the universe, we each have strength within ourselves to make our own decisions and do our best to live with whatever lot we get in life. I was taught that prayer only works if we are willing to help ourselves first, and then maybe we'll get a little extra boost of energy to help us along our way. God doesn't running around fixing things for us, and God doesn't give handouts like a soup kitchen. It's not about having a divine handyman at your beck and call.

One thing I have learned is that even that person whose life just seems oh-so-perfect is struggling with something; it may just not be quite as obvious as what you're struggling with. Everybody has to deal with their own garbage. Don't put your stuff off on them, and don't sit around feeling sorry for yourself thinking you got a raw deal. Stop looking for someone to blame. We all get a raw deal sooner or later. You have no idea what someone else may have gone through. The only thing that you can do about it is evaluate how you are dealing with it, and figure out what you can do to make the best of your situation. Sure, it sucks to be you. But it also sucks to be homeless. It sucks to be suicidal. It sucks to be alone, to have lost the people you love, to experience a divorce, to go through a trauma, to have survived violence, to have cancer, to have AIDS, to lose a child, to miss the last train home... sometimes, life just kind of sucks, but life is sure better than the alternative. Any God that might be out there has the whole world to worry about. Don't sit around waiting for God - it could take a long time for him to get around to you with all of those other people out in the world to worry about. You, on the other hand, have a lot fewer people to take care of, and you are the only person who can really be responsible for your life.



KARENMOOREFIELD
SparkPoints: (339)
Fitness Minutes: (210)
Posts: 2
2/7/12 12:53 P

As I was surfing the boards I found this post. I was most interested in reading it because I too have been beaten down by the hammer of life. I have Rheumatoid Arthritis and every day is filled with pain. I don't know if I will be able to get out of bed the next morning. In 1 year my husband went from the top 1% if wage earners to the bottom 1%. We lost our house, my husband had a massive heart attack and almost died while I was working out of town as a first year teacher making very little money and I was diagnosed with RA. He had the heart attack while driving down the road and almost decapitated himself with the accident.

BUT THE BIG DISAPPOINTMENT...50% of every penny we earned during the good life was spent helping out others. It might have been paying someone's bills, donating to a cause, buying groceries for hungry people. We did this because we had so much. I thought God would be pleased with me. So when everything happened at once, we went through our entire life savings trying to hang on to what we had...only to lose it eventually. The biggest clincher, we had outstanding receivables of $200,000 and that were never paid.

So how did I eventually forgive God. Yes I was very angry. Not because God did anything. But because we believed, in the very fiber of our beings, that we were living the very best lives we could offer to God and our fellow men. We just accepted the fact that life was random. And that was that. People still can't believe all we've been through yet what choice do we have? That is where you are...what choice do you have? Do you have more comfort with God in your life or not? We actually feel closer...and maybe that was the point.



MARIAX11
Posts: 261
2/6/12 2:00 P

Norigrey,

I understand what you are saying. Perhaps I should have clarified better. I said those who I have known who have chosen to live their lives without God have had worse struggles (than they did prior when they had God in their lives). These are people that I have known who had believed in God but then turned their backs.

I am not saying that everyone has to believe in God or terrible things will happen. However, with my being a Christian, and seeing a post with God in the header, I responded, believing that the person who wrote the post is also a Christian or at least holds a belief in God. I respect that everyone has the right to worship in the way that suits them, even if it a choice not to believe. I do not intend to convince anyone on what they wish to believe, it is entirely their own choice.

I agree with you that terrible things can happen to anyone, no matter what. I think my whole point to Eowyn was that our trials are not given based on anything we do or do not do. Pain, at least in the eyes of the Lord, is not inflicted as a punishment, just as our works alone will not get you into the Kingdom.



RACHELALISON720
Posts: 54
2/6/12 1:21 P

I'm sorry for how you are feeling. I don't understand how it must feel like to be on dialysis for the rest of mylife but I do understand about the feelings that those who are cruel seem to have it easier. They may or may not have as easy as we think, we have no clue what goes on when we aren't there.

And please don't give up on God. He will never give up on you. You may not unerstand why He does the things He does but there is always a plan and He knows what those plans are. Have faith in Him and He will help hold your hand through your tough times.



NORIGREY
SparkPoints: (2,505)
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Posts: 344
2/6/12 11:48 A

Maria, people who live without faith don't go through worse struggles because they don't believe in god... we have our own ways of coping and coming out the other side of a bad situation.

Terrible things can happen to any of us no matter what kind of people we are. I already responded to Eowyn in a private message, so I won't repeat myself too much here. We just have to do our best to cherish our lives and all of the amazing things in the world.



MARIAX11
Posts: 261
2/6/12 2:21 A

God did not give you SLE. There is nothing in the scriptures that states that God has guaranteed any of us pain-free lives or wealth. I am a firm believer that what does not kill us makes us stronger. You can use your situation as an inspiration to others and allow others to see that despite everything, you are a survivor. Whatever God brings you to, He brings you thru. You ask "how can you still trust God?" I ask: How can you not trust God? Who would you trust, if not God?

All of the people that I know who choose to live without God in their lives go thru struggles, probably worse than yours, because they live without faith.

I myself have had my share of trauma, injuries and illness. Some injuries have been life-altering, but I am grateful for what I am able to do. I do not dwell about what I am not able to do. I have accepted what I am not able to do.

I am sorry that you are going thru what you are going thru. I cannot claim to have any knowledge or experience of what it is like to live with SLE or dialysis. I do know that each one of us has our struggles. Some are less than others, some greater than others, but we all have them.

I am sorry that you feel that you have had very bad bosses and co-workers. However, rather than fixating on the actions of the co-workers and why they do not get into trouble, I would encourage you to focus on your own actions, and the positive characteristics that you can offer as an employee. We can only have control of ourselves, not others. Whether you realize it or not, your negative and defeatist outlook will become obvious, even if you do not think so. I believe that bad energy feeds off of bad energy. Such as the same when a person's bad moods rub off on another person, and the person can't figure out why they are suddenly in a bad mood.

I don't mean to sound harsh. It's simply the perspective of things. If you think that things are so bad, they could always be worse. You have an illness, that appears that you have been able to manage, however inconvenient for you. You could be dead. Which would you rather have?

I have found that the more I share my blessings, the more I continue to be blessed, which then helps me to appreciate more the things I have. I don't dwell about what I do not have...as I feel that I deserve nothing, except for what God allows me to have. As easily as He gives it, it can be just as easily taken away.

There is a reason for everything. With some things, we are not permitted to know the reasons, simply to trust the reasons. That's what trusting God is for. If you choose to stop trusting God, it is your choice. With choices come consequences--as long as you are prepared to accept them.

I'm not telling you what you should or should not do. Just giving you my perspective on things.

Good luck to you.



TWINKLEFIGUEROA
SparkPoints: (1,658)
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Posts: 77
2/5/12 11:34 A

Those people that were mean to you were doing so because they themselves had a lot of issues and problems and instead of dealing making someone else feel bad made them feel better if even for a moment. As far as others having successful careers and getting away scott free no one does. My mother who is now retired works as a maid on the side to make extra money and she always tells me about how the people she goes to have beautiful cars, homes, clothing but they are so poor in other ways. I'm sorry for what you are going through though. That is a tough pill to take.



ACHIEVE2012
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2/4/12 4:10 P

I can relate to what you say about cruel and unkind people seem to get away with their wrong doings were as some people pay for every little thing in life! I feel the same some times
You seem to have a lot going onÖ
But if you only look at the negatives then you have only those further bringing you down, making you lose faith in God and only seeing the bad in people.
How about you try to look at some of the positives..
Just from what you wrote and not knowing you, I already some positivesÖ.Your dialysis schedule is coming in the way of job schedules. But, you seem to have the means for even having the ability to go for dialysis! It means you are mobile too! Great, isnít it?
You are looking for job but that means you have qualifications to look for one!
I donít know much about you, but try to look for other positives such as these and once you look for them, you will find them, some gems in your life which might be some people who are already there or have not yet arrived in your life.
Donít worry about other people not paying for their deeds, everyone will get justice. We donít know what is going on in their lives, do we? They take their stress out on other people because they are not capable of handling it gracefully.
God is the Supreme Guide, but remember that the true super-power lies within us!




PEEDIE22
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Posts: 205
2/4/12 3:20 P

When I start to feel like that I imagine that God asked me to experience this, for the sake of more mercy and compassion in the world. If God said to me before I was born, "OK, I have this assignment for you and it will be painful and difficult, and you can turn it down if you want, but I feel like you could really help me by experiencing this," would I do it? Of course I would. If it was a direct request from God and I had the option to say no, how could I say no?

It doesn't matter if that's how it happened or not. The point is, we don't know how or why some things happen, so why not imagine what is most helpful to ourselves, the human race, and God too? It helps me. It might not help you, but that's what helps me.

Also, I see how sometimes people who get everything they want suffer or become ugly and dead inside, and I realize all isn't as it appears on the surface. Sometimes hell is getting what you want. Sometimes hell is an easy but empty life lived for nothing but pleasure and gain.

Edited by: PEEDIE22 at: 2/4/2012 (15:23)


ARCHIMEDESII
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2/4/12 3:02 P

EOWYN2424,

I know it seems like God gave you a raw deal, but there are people in much worse situations than you. Why did God wipe out entire towns in Japan last year with a tsunami ? What did those people do ? They didn't do anything. Bad things do happen to good people.

Don't dwell on what's wrong with your life, think about what is RIGHT with your life instead. Because even with your medical issues, you still have a decent life.

Therefore, you should live it to the fullest ! Do you want to feel better about your life ? Then consider doing some volunteer work in your home town. Ask to volunteer at an elder care facility. Help out at a food pantry or homeless shelter. Volunteer at your local church. You'll start feeling better about your own life when you help others in worse situations than yours.








PATHFINDER52
Posts: 611
2/4/12 1:53 P

I can understand how having SLE and kidney disease would make you think that someone had pulled the rug out from under you, but why blame God?

God never promised us that life would be "easy" nor is there any reason to imagine that life will be "fair" -- It clearly isn't for you (and hundreds of thousands of others with chronic illness) but why is that a reason to abandon faith?

God didn't give you your illness. Scientifically, the best minds blame genetics, life-stress triggers and hormones (more SLE among women than men). God hasn't abandoned you in your illness -- although, clearly people in the work-place have!

What can you do today to improve this painful, unpleasant, depressing situation you're in?

1. Follow your provider's advice and take care of yourself as best you can -- that includes taking your medications, getting adequate sleep, and some experts believe Omega-3 supplements can provide some immune system protections (ask your MD).

2. Consider treatment for depression (if you haven't already) because chronic illness requires stamina and is a common cause for depression. You deserve to have a healthy outlook even if you have a serious medical condition, so get an assessment if you have not done so already, and help if you need it. Don't be ashamed of depression if you have it!

3. Connect with people who care about you (and forget the jerks from work who couldn't see past your diagnosis). That may mean friends from a spiritual community (sounds like you may have already had such a connection) who will encourage and support your efforts toward a better life.

Belief in God is about asking yourself how this series of illness-related obstacles can enrich you, not what they can rob from your life. Pope John Paul II, who died in old age with severe Parkinson's Disease (another chronic, debilitating, depressing disease) is one of my favorite heros. He said this about illness. . ."Physical condition or advancing of age are not obstacles to a perfect life. God does not look at external things but at the soul."

And when he saw all that was "wrong" in the world, he said, "Darkness can only be scattered by light, hatred can only be conquered by love."

You don't need to LOVE your illness, but you need to love yourself and the people around you who do see YOU through your diagnoses, not just your limitations. God is reflected in their love and support. Trusting in God doesn't change the outcome of our lives, it changes the framework in which we live them.

Wishing you peace and love through all the trials of your life.

--p







BLOND_KIRA
Posts: 80
2/4/12 11:48 A

Don't loose hope. I know life seems bleak at times but it is up to you to turn back to God and ask for his help in dealing with what you have been given. Trust me I have at least 2 people in my life who have turned from God because of what they believe he did and life keeps getting worse and worse for them. They no longer have any light in their lives. Offer up all your concerns and gripes to our Heavenly Father and he will answer your prayers. Just don't loose hope or give up trying or the bad people will always win. I will keep you in my prayers and pray for a better future for you. God Bless You.



EOWYN2424
SparkPoints: (114,994)
Fitness Minutes: (18,165)
Posts: 5,555
2/4/12 7:33 A

in life. Like myself, I not only have SLE, a rare autoimmune disease (diagnosed in 1997), but after 7 years of careful dietary control, I STILL had to have dialysis for the rest of my life, and I started dialysis when I was in my early 30s. I'm almost 40 now and I've been on dialysis for about 7 years.

I've met a lot of cruel and unkind people all my life, but how come they can still go off scott-free with successful careers while I had to have my bright flame of life and ambition cut off and my career snuffed off! I didn't even have the good fortune to get a good boss who might have allowed me to continue working if only on a part-time basis.

No, all my bosses have been bad bosses. Not only have I had bad bosses but vicious, back-stabbing colleagues! I don't understand it! How come all my bitchy colleagues don't get in trouble but I do! It seems the bad people always win!

So, how can I keep trusting God when he has pulled the rug from under my feet by giving me SLE, a rare and uncurable disease. I wouldn't mind so much if I was still relatively normal, but my kidneys have given way despite my best efforts at dietary control!

And if I still have SLE but my kidneys were still fine, I could look for another job. But with my dialysis schedule, practically no one wants to hire me!



 
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