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BLINGQUEEN:O) Posts: 249
9/6/13 5:36 P

I so agree with many of the posts. I start for the last time by never giving up anymore. I may stray from my program from time to time, but I have learned that this is truly a journey, everyday. Some days my healthy lifestyle goes well, others not at all. I just never give up. That way I never have to start over. emoticon

FIFIFRIZZLE Posts: 2,147
9/6/13 1:20 P

You have to change the way you think. Mental flexibility is the key, and you can learn it.
The question to ask again and again is about whether your thoughts and attitudes are working for you. Say to yourself 'how is this working for me?'
If it isn't helping with your goal to get healthy and get rid of that excess weight, change it.
You can come up with any number of excuses, but they aren't going to get you to a different place, so ditch the excuses. Find creative ways around all the obstacles to your goal. Decide you are not going to be an obstacle to your own success. Figure out how you will proceed.
Then get on with it.
It really is that simple.
If you want it, you can have it.

ANNEDY1 SparkPoints: (24,551)
Fitness Minutes: (11,301)
Posts: 586
9/6/13 1:13 P

All we can do is our best!

GOING-STRONG Posts: 6,939
9/6/13 12:20 A

There are always going to be times when you go "off plan"... the key is to get right back at it. Never let a slip up (planned or otherwise) become the rationale for throwing in the towel long term. If your mindset is to live a fit and healthy life; then a one day holiday or a short vacation is just part of the journey.

SIMONEKP Posts: 2,617
9/5/13 5:12 P

This is my first real attempt which I intend to keep as an everyday part of life going forward so in a sense, it is the last time. I got sick of wanting to change without actually doing anything to accomplish the goal so I got started and never looked back.

EGRAMMY Posts: 13,491
9/5/13 4:12 P


BANDOMOM1 SparkPoints: (3,254)
Fitness Minutes: (3,530)
Posts: 337
9/5/13 9:47 A

Even the most discipline ones also start over. My boot camp trainer who is fit as a rock said she also has sometimes where she eats everything on a night out, but then gets back on track, and pushes harder!!.. A friend on mine, who vows she only eats organic, and only healthy foods was caught by my mom stuffing her face with big mac and fries and shake!!! Ha...

TRACYDH SparkPoints: (24,574)
Fitness Minutes: (18,320)
Posts: 221
9/4/13 7:11 P

The only thing I haven't seen noted here is read, read, read. The thing that actually helped me to change my mindset to one of lifestyle over diet was reading the articles and getting into the community here on Spark. The articles really helped me to understand in a way I never had before, that it's possible to live your life and enjoy food (and exercise - gasp!) without depriving yourself.
It's definitely a journey, learning how to balance it all, but I felt so much more relaxed about it all once those articles and posts began to finally sink in.
Good luck with it and keep coming to the community for support - it's what keeps me going when I am having a hard time keeping on :)

9/4/13 6:57 P

I am not sure that it is possible....I approach it one day at a time. I do what I can do today. One of my favorite quotes is "you cannot stay clean today on yesterday's shower".

9/4/13 6:49 P

I don't think you ever start for the "last time." That is just drawing an arbitrary line in the sand and setting yourself up. You start every morning with your attitude, every meal with your choices and every workout with your intensity. You start when you choose a physical activity over a passive one and a life affirming choice over a life destructive choice. You get to start again RIGHT NOW. And now....and now....

URLEEC SparkPoints: (14,444)
Fitness Minutes: (9,212)
Posts: 113
9/4/13 6:34 P

I don't know. There's my simple answer :)
I've started so many times in my 46 years. Then for some reason I lose momentum and go back to old habits. Number one, I figure if I get back up at least one more time than I fall down then I'm on the right track. That's why I'm hoping this time is different.
I know that I have to get right back up after each "setback". I think I might have to record my exercise and probably also my food here on SparkPeople forever. That makes me have to be aware of what I'm eating and how much I exercise.
When I have a bad nutrition day (overeat), I will beat myself up mentally. That's just how I am. I think the only way to counteract that is to turn right around and purposefully have a good day to get myself back on track.

As a human being, I don't think you can start for the last time. We have ups and downs but we have to get right back on that horse!

SUSAN727 Posts: 1,876
9/4/13 4:17 P

It's a journey with highs and lows.

BROADBRUSH Posts: 1,806
9/4/13 3:04 P

i don't think of things as 'starting again' and 'stopping again'.
everyday is what it is.
it is like saying when you go into a depression you 'stop living' waiting for it to end - it never ends and NEITHER DOES watching your body get smaller or bigger depending how you live and act at that time.
it is a question that can NEVER BE ANSWERED cause you can say 'this is the absolute last time' and believe it. i did - i have reached my goal and kept it for 12 years !!!!!!!
what changed? not too much - except i got older - i am watching over a mentally ill person who was not this way back then - i have children that have broken up with their spouses, lost their job or some other relatively catastrophe event.
i have saw friends that were there for support and just to be there for fun - get terminally ill with cancer and leave the physical world.
another time i lost a big amount - but not to goal - almost but not right on the number - but i was proud that in the face of what ever adversity i was facing i did it and kept it off for three years.
then what changed? same verse as above with certain deletions and variations.
anyway-= this the chicken and the egg thing
NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN -- just say as much as i can control my health and do my best, i will - if only for today - or this week - but you cannot say for the rest of your life - that would be a big bad distasteful joke ON YOU!

PAMLED Posts: 49
9/4/13 2:21 P

Hi Nickycrane A lovely message to read. Hope at your best soon and keep your great outlook. Plums will never seem the same again emoticon


PAMLED Posts: 49
9/4/13 2:16 P

I am starting a brand new chapter. All the bad things and people of the past are gone. At 46 I am for the first time I am putting the past away for "the last time" and starting my health and fun journey into gear to start again for the last time. With SP coaches , people and loads of resources "LET THE START BEGIN. Clear out mind, get rid of excuses and do it for the best reason ever- For You.

Smile more sing more and find the things you adore.

Good Luck and loads of laffs

Pamled emoticon

GINGERRUE1824 Posts: 149
9/4/13 2:15 P

I am on the same boat. For me just taking one meal or one exercise at a time. If I think about I want to lose 75lbs it's overwhelming. I am now starting out all over again after being sick and unable to do much of anything.
Good luck

HAPPYGIRL743 SparkPoints: (1,057)
Fitness Minutes: (130)
Posts: 26
9/3/13 7:45 P

This is my first message! When I read FITBY15 I had to respond, can I ever relate! Good luck to you!!!

DPOWERS042260 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (15,850)
Posts: 40
9/3/13 4:25 P

1. You can eat anything IN MODERATION.
2. LIFE will happen! You won't get to exercise for a couple of days, you will give in to temptation, etc. GET OVER IT! One or two bad days don't undo a month or more of hard work.
3. THIS IS A LIFESTYLE CHANGE. NOT A DIET! It didn't take you a month to get unhealthy, and you won't fix it all in a month. But you will get there if you persevere, AND BOY IS IT WORTH IT!!!!!!

I started a diet at least 10 times. I made a lifestyle change just once! I am 103 pounds down. It has been 8 long months, and I still have 20 or so pounds to go. But I know I will get there sooner or later. I just keep plugging away. I have had small improvements in my quality of life all along, and now I can tell you: If I had to start back at the beginning, 100 pounds heavier, I would do it to get back where I am now. DON'T GIVE UP! YOU CAN BE HEALTHY, ENERGETIC AND HAPPY!

SIRENALEANNE SparkPoints: (47,215)
Fitness Minutes: (52,006)
Posts: 759
9/3/13 2:09 P

Don't stop and you won't have to start over emoticon

9/3/13 1:22 P

I don't know. I'll let you know once I actually start over for the last time :)

Right now I'm starting over for the 20th time (at least). I'm on day 11, which is about as far as they've ever gotten, so I"m definitely moving into Danger Zone territory. Some things which have changed for me since the other "last times," are:

- My doctor told me I'd die if I didn't change the course my health was on. That's pretty blunt. I'm at major risk for developing diabetes, so if I ever want to have a freaking brownie again (without losing my feet to amputation) I should probably slow down my brownie intake for the time being.

- I can't keep up with my kids. I get winded walking across the field to pick my kid up at soccer practice. How does that make me any kind of a mother?

- TMI warning!!!!!! It hurts to have sex with my husband because my thighs are so huge and inflexible. I like sex! I don't want to have a celibate marriage!!

- I can no longer fit in my "fat clothes." I literally have not one thing I can wear when the weather turns cold and I need jeans and warmer work clothes. To buy new ones I'd have to shop in the Women's section of the stores, and clothing manufacturers are idiots who don't think that heavy women should look stylish. I don't want to wear sweatpants and muumuu dresses, so I have to have a body that will fit in ordinary clothes.

- I ran out of excuses. For years I worked a very demanding job with a long commute and even longer hours. Now I work 6 miles from home on a regular schedule and have the time to put into my family, my eating, and my exercise.

- I'm more embarassed by being fat than by admitting that I don't really want to eat a piece of cake at birthday parties because it'll make me even fatter.

That's not everything, but it's a good start. Figure out what your "reasons" are and decide if they're importat enough to make this the last first time :)

NICKYCRANE SparkPoints: (84,930)
Fitness Minutes: (45,342)
Posts: 1,317
9/3/13 12:37 P

I've been out of action for a week with a nasty tummy bug which kept me in bed for 5 days and left me shattered. So no exercise and I just ate what I felt like. The doctor prescribed stewed plums, and faith in my doctor was stronger than doubts about plums to cure the runs - and my faith in the doctor was justified! Apart from that I binged on things like biscuits with lashings of nutella. Since yesterday I have some energy back and am easing gently into exercise, Pilates, pushups and gentle walking. Next week I hope to add cardio blast videos and maybe jumping jacks.
Today things didn't go according to plan, as I was in town unexpectedly over lunchtime. My morning snack worked till lunchtime but not any longer! So I had a couple of bananas (sensible) and a cheese and sausage pasty (extravagant). After which I threw caution to the winds when saying goodby to a friend and ate vast quantities of calorific cakes and pudding. Tomorrow we shall meet a friend who is leaving for America and eat lunch. I hope to bring half of my calorific choice home for another day!
I shed a kilo when I was ill, so am not too worried about the cals. But I do want to get back into exercise. I have to do it gently. I overexercised once and it knocked me out for weeks.
I started lifestyle change for the first time several years ago, shed 18 kilos and immediately put 7 of them back on. Started again a couple of years later, and not much joy. Started again with SP last summer and shed 10 kilos, mostly this year, of which I periodically put 1 back on. That's OK. I aim to stay round about where I am. Don't want to need to start shedding again. Have managed brief visits to friends without regaining weight. I hope I have started for the last time!

KITTYCAT64 Posts: 599
9/3/13 11:42 A

First off, I think you have to have a reality check to figure out why you have gained weight back everytime you have lost it. I know that I went through many losses and events that lead me to where I am now which is 100 pounds over weight. Then you have to ask what all the eating has done for you. Of course there are negatives and positives. Make a co n tract with yourself . About this being a new way of life, not a diet.

PTREE15 SparkPoints: (8,292)
Fitness Minutes: (11,594)
Posts: 490
9/3/13 11:27 A

It has taken me a long time to ditch the "all or nothing" mentality, especially when it came to exercise. If I couldn't get my 45 to 60 minutes in, I'd just not do it. Now I get it in sometimes in separate sessions. Yes, I'd still prefer to get 45 minutes done in one block, but if I don't, I find that other 15 minutes in the day and maybe do some weights or take a quick walk. Same with food. If I overeat, I just make up for it the next day by making better choices. It's definitely a mindset. Can't agree more with what others have said. I'm still clinging to some of those "big" jeans, but I'm getting closer to getting rid of them for good.

Weight loss is a journey, not a destination.

ELSELTZ SparkPoints: (2,833)
Fitness Minutes: (3,538)
Posts: 49
9/3/13 10:46 A

I really recommend the book "changeology" by John Norcross. It lays out principles of making permanent changes in any area of life, and how different mental/practical techniques are helpful at different stages on the change journey.

One important thing about making this "the last time" you start over, is to decide that even if you MESS up, you will not GIVE up. Perfectionistic thinking that somehow you can overcome human error and be a robot, is self-defeating. Expect that you will mess up from time to time, and don't let it derail you or discourage you.

You can use awareness, support and course corrections to stop a lapse from turning into a relapse.

SCHEALTHNUTT SparkPoints: (49,055)
Fitness Minutes: (24,637)
Posts: 1,913
9/3/13 10:11 A

Do or die

TKO48326 Posts: 95
9/3/13 9:53 A

I actually take it one week at a time. On Sundays I shop and plan meals for the week. I truly believe that it is best to follow the 80/20 rule and if you hit 90/10 or 100% that is great too! I also exercise but I don't count on the exercise for weight loss. It gives me great energy and helps tone things up as I lose.

EMMYERS76 SparkPoints: (10,444)
Fitness Minutes: (31,618)
Posts: 218
9/3/13 9:39 A

I feel the same way...I am either gung ho into diet and exercise...or I give up. The problem I have is I get almost to my goal, and I get to thinking about the future, and how much I don't want to eat like a rabbit for the rest of my life. So, I start eating whatever I want, and justify it by exercising more. Then the exercise fizzles.

But, I need to figure a way to eat well, and still be fit and not hate what I eat.

REBECCAKAY12 Posts: 15
9/3/13 9:28 A

That is a great perspective! Thanks for sharing!

KATHBRU SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (0)
Posts: 2
9/3/13 8:18 A

Seems like you know what your doing! How do i start on here?? I'm a 56 yr. old women that needs to lose 60-75 lbs. I don't understanding this program...Where do i find out how many calories, carbs, fat, etc, etc, i'm suppose to eat daily???? If i find that then i can find recipes on here and start a diet and exisize program...Can you HELP ME??????

OUT_OF_MY_TOWER SparkPoints: (403)
Fitness Minutes: (80)
Posts: 82
9/3/13 7:13 A

you take the most HONEST before picture in history. Then you plan out the next month of workouts, then you do ALL OF THEM. repeat.

_ZIPASS_ SparkPoints: (6)
Fitness Minutes: (0)
Posts: 2
9/2/13 11:22 P

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu Chinese philosopher (604 BC - 531 BC)

That being said, weight loss is tough; it's a billion dollar business.

MELLYBEANS0919 SparkPoints: (30,913)
Fitness Minutes: (35,741)
Posts: 4,358
9/2/13 9:09 P

I don't see it as starting over anymore. It's a journey, there will be ups and downs and to expect perfection wont help. In the end you learn what works and what doesn't work.

ZANDASMOM1 SparkPoints: (31,863)
Fitness Minutes: (29,924)
Posts: 2,738
9/2/13 8:46 P

I'm just starting over again too!! But I try not to think of it that way. It's just a journey that takes many turns. Just have to keep on keeping on!!! Good luck!!! We are all here for you!!

ETHELMERZ SparkPoints: (242,588)
Fitness Minutes: (204,560)
Posts: 18,204
9/2/13 8:42 P

One thing I've learned for SURE, Never say will come back and bite you.
Just keep on trying, or, for some people, let yourself just ride by eating healthy, but not for weight loss alone. Let the diet mentality go, since it hasn't worked yet......

SYLVIAD265 Posts: 259
9/2/13 8:35 P

I know exactly how you feel because I feel like I am starting over for the millionth time. I was part of a diet behavior research study at one of the major hospitals in my area from April 2012 - April 2013. I lost 23 pounds, but more importantly I learned how my behavior plays more of a role than I initially thought.. The one thing l learned during that study was that losing weight is just as much our way of thinking as it is our way of eating.

This is my new way of thinking. I will never diet again. This is the beginning of my healthy lifestyle. I will be eating this way for the rest of my life. I will be eating to live not living to eat.

Of course you want it know that is a part of who we are. But we also know that we didn't gain weight overnight and we are not going to lose it overnight. It's going to take some time both mentally and physically in order for us to get where we want to be. So yes you can change your way of thinking. You are starting now by asking yourself can you change your way of thinking. My answer to you have already started the process of changing the way you think.

Hang in there, you can do it!!!!

FITBY15 Posts: 3
9/2/13 5:51 P

Thank you all for your advise. It's been easy putting the needs of everyone else above mine then I don't need to think about it. But life is too short and I am not getting any younger. What I want or need does not seem to be of any interest to those around me. It will be nice to get support from spark people going through the same things.

ANGELCITYGAL SparkPoints: (38,869)
Fitness Minutes: (20,298)
Posts: 1,724
9/2/13 5:13 P

Consider all the setbacks part of one journey. Then, when you encounter them, you don't see them as an end or a failure, just a rough patch. Remember that what matters is that you keep going, no matter how many times you've faltered, fallen down, gained some weight back, gained it all back, etc. We've all done those things. We've all had those moments and months. That's life. Just keep going.

It helps me to look for what I can learn from the setbacks and stumbling points. What was going on for me that I fell down, and what can I adjust to take better care of myself?

Planning is a good tool to prevent setbacks. So is compassion for yourself. Be kind to yourself when you have a small slip. See it as part of a total picture of progress, rather than a failure. Don't throw out a dozen eggs because you drop one on the floor, if you follow me. Just clean up the mess as best you can, and continue cooking.

Fall down 100 times, get up 101 and you're a success.

GEVANS7 SparkPoints: (260,513)
Fitness Minutes: (160,984)
Posts: 2,119
9/2/13 4:48 P

Every day is a fresh start for me. I keep plugging away.

JPRSAVETTE SparkPoints: (5,268)
Fitness Minutes: (3,648)
Posts: 177
9/2/13 1:59 P

this sounds counter-intuitive............but as soon as i gave up trying to have it ALL AT ONCE and took little improvements.............i got it all back........

i was a marathoner, but i got sick and had to start all over. when i got my health back i knew what i had been capable of and would push harder and faster to get back there. i really hated what i viewed as little short runs and off-days. i hated myself for being back at square one. i pushed so hard that i wound up really messing up my ankle. i was totally completely side lined again. when i started again i took it more slowly........i spent more time on each level and the emotional rewards of reaching and besting each level were great.........but the best part of all.........i am now well past where i kept plateauing.

good fuzzy feelings all around!!!!!!!!

FIRYMIST35 Posts: 1,154
9/2/13 1:35 P

Find lots of ways to judge how you are doing. Track you food for a while and see if your weight goes down when you make changes or waist, etc measurements go down, or your skin might be clearer. You might be less stressed. It might be easier to play with kids and grand-kids or not getting winded going up a flight of stairs. When any of these positive things happen that you can connect to making positive lifestyle changes make conscious note of them (blog them) to reinforce why you are doing this. Just one thing won't get any of us there and if you have a bad day reach out to whoever in you life is supportive of your goals either in person or here and have us shore up and remind you why you are doing this. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone has bad days. It's not the end of the world. Try to make lemonade from any lemons life throws your way and you've accomplished half the battle!

UMBILICAL Posts: 12,786
9/2/13 1:35 P

You don't - you start everyday.

ZIGGY122 Posts: 2,198
9/2/13 1:33 P

Seems to me your the only one that cares about starting over... just don't stop ... like when I quit smoking... I tried it seemed like a million times... but I didn't quit.. and I finally managed to do it. Same way with my healthy lifestyle changes... I just keep trying new ways until I will finally find one that fits. emoticon

ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (192,827)
Fitness Minutes: (287,018)
Posts: 26,682
9/2/13 1:24 P


I give all new members one piece of advice and it's this,"Don't look at good health or weight loss with an all or nothing mentality". If the only healthy thing you did for yourself today was drink 8 glasses of water, that's still a step in the right direction. Remember, you're trying to change habits learned over a life time. That's not going to happen overnight, a week, a month or even a year. Change takes time. thus the need to be patient with yourself and your body.

Start with some simple goals first. Example, if you're not eating 6-9 servings of fruits and veggies, set a goal to eat 2-3 servings each day for one week. If you're not drinking your water, set a goal to drink 2-4 glasses each day for one week. If you're not exercising, don't try to do an hour a day, set a goal to take a 30 minute walk each day for one week. Once you've achieved these goals, then you set new ones.

No "all or nothing" mentality. Just a few simple changes you can stick with. Because one small change CAN change your life !

And as the others have already mentioned, you have to stop thinking diet. You really do have to start thinking lifestyle change. Diets are short term solutions. You want a long term solution and that means rethinking weight loss. That's why you have to start with simple changes. it's because you are trying to change habits learned over a life time.

Be kind to yourself as you would to others. You will make mistakes and that's okay. it's part of the learning process. NO ONE is perfect ! you don't have to be perfect to be healthy.

9/2/13 12:53 P

I agree with the prev. post. I don't diet any longer. Just keep on plugging away every day.

BUSYGRANNY5 SparkPoints: (516,030)
Fitness Minutes: (245,169)
Posts: 71,237
9/2/13 12:51 P

I don't start over and over again... because I refuse to give up... I just keep on keeping on... I'm not dieting... I'm living a healthier lifestyle..

TACDGB Posts: 6,136
9/2/13 12:37 P

I plan on never starting over as it is a life style for me and not a diet. Once my mind realized that things got better. Once I made working out an important part of my life...made clean eating important too........things got better.......when I realized that God gave me this body so I get to design it things got better.

VKKESU Posts: 1,000
9/2/13 12:20 P

I understand completely. I swore I'd never do this again . Then I broke my foot and messed it up for over a year haven't been able to do anything on my feet. Instead of making the best of it I made excuses and now (finally 90% better) I'm paying the price.

This time I'm learning from my mistakes.
1. Always have a goal in mind. I didn't after reaching maintenance before and got lost and gave up when the work still needed to get done. This time I'm ready for that.

2. Keep tracking. Maybe not daily, but checking in once a week or a couple of times a month to keep on track will help.

3. Get RID of clothes that are too big. I didn't realize I'd started gaining because I still wore some sloppy jeans. When I went to get my regular jeans, I no longer fit in them. I was shocked. My big comfy jeans will be gone this time. The only time I will wear elastic is working out or sleeping. I will never unbutton jeans after eating (lol).

4. I will always check in on the scale once/twice a month and keep with my 5# range .

5. I'll stop making excuses about going to work out. I love the energy I have when I do work out and there is no excuse that should keep me from that.

6. I will tell everyone about my goals and what I'm doing. If I don't I can mess up and hide what I'm doing. I have to be accountable for what I do no matter what others are doing.

7. I'll remember that I was blessed with one body and no one else will take care of it. It is aging and although I eat and exercise, it may not age well. I will do what I can to help it out so I can continue to enjoy life while I can.

I may mess up, but I know I can do this. I won't set crazy goals that I'll get discouraged with. I'll set realistic goals of working out 2-3 days a week. Anything on top of that is a bonus.

9/2/13 11:07 A

All or nothing thinking sets you up to fail BIG TIME. Take it one meal at a time instead. Say to yourself, "Just for this meal I am going to eat healthy foods in appropriate portions. I can do that."

SHERYLDS Posts: 17,177
9/2/13 9:47 A

Change your mindset.

This isn't the last time...this is the beginning of a lifestyle transformation where you need to change what you eat, the portion sizes, the food choices, the all or nothing attitude, the exercise/activity level, the way you prepare food, the body image, the emotional eating.
It takes time, commitment, and perseverance....not perfection.

And even when you hit a snag or a just get back on track and keep going.
You may find you need to change things when something stops working for you...then keep going.
The trick is to keep moving towards your destination...
even with occasional rest stops along the way

Edited by: SHERYLDS at: 9/2/2013 (09:50)
FITBY15 Posts: 3
9/2/13 8:09 A

I've started a million times. I find my self all in or all out. It's hard to take baby steps. I want it now (I sound like my 3 year old grandson). I can I change my thinking?

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