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JANIEWWJD SparkPoints: (554,425)
Fitness Minutes: (342,047)
Posts: 15,553
5/27/13 8:09 P

At least you haven't given up and you're trying again!!!!

KEEPGOINGEMILY SparkPoints: (20,637)
Fitness Minutes: (11,061)
Posts: 676
5/27/13 7:20 P

Thanks all! While it is noticeable that I'm making healthier choices (went and did my workout today, measuring foods) I'm not talking about it much. I'll just walk the walk, and we can talk some other time.
I know he is happy that I am working on taking better care of myself, it leads to me being happier in general. Which is good for all of us! We have been down this road before. I don't know why I'm so weird about it!

MYUTMOST4HIM Posts: 11,453
5/27/13 12:42 P

that is the way I did it too - I felt so good

CHOCOLATELEA SparkPoints: (4,692)
Fitness Minutes: (1,418)
Posts: 166
5/27/13 12:29 P

I know how you feel. :( Weight's a bit like God—it's a pretty private thing, even if everyone else wants to share your happiness/efforts with you.

If you're willing to modify your routine to accommodate him you can ask if he wants to do a physical activity with you (walk/bike/etc.). Otherwise just let him know where you're headed ("I've started running/etc. again" as you head out the door). If he questions your healthier meal choices, be honest: "I'm making healthier choices. Want to join me?" If he says no, "Okay. If you change your mind, let me know. I'm happy to make a salad for two."

Basically, let him know you're doing this, and make him feel included. Don't let his enthusiasm (if that's what happens) make you feel bad. He is totally on your side and you will not let him down [you ARE a success story!]. If you need him to be less enthusiastic, say so. "Thank you so much for your support, it means a lot to me. If you could (be less vocal/not make so much of it/etc.) I would appreciate it. I don't want to take on too much all at once. I'm making small changes and I'm trying very hard not to fail. When I've lost x lbs, I'll be ready to start telling other people. If we could keep this to ourselves for now, I'd appreciate it. How 'bout we go for a walk after dinner?"

If he doesn't want to be an exercise buddy, see if you can find someone who does. Hopefully Spark can give you the motivation to keep going (it is a lonely road if you're by yourself) but MeetUp is pretty good place to find people who are interested in similar things (walking club/running club etc.) and they tend to schedule things at appointed times (instead of "Hey you wanna...? Oh, you're busy, that's too bad..." which can be disheartening).

Just remember he's enthusiastic because he cares. :) If all else fails, just say "yes." It might not be ideal to try the 3km hike he thinks would be awesome to do this weekend, but it is exercise—and a great new experience [and take a stopwatch and then do the same hike in 6 months! :)].

EMMACORY Posts: 20,623
5/26/13 7:23 P

Maybe you just need to let him know you are trying again. If you can name the things that he can do for you that are supportive that would be helpful to him. For example, if we could walk after dinner twice a week I would like that. Also if you can name the things that are NOT helpful that would also be good. For example, please do not comment on my food choices. I am tracking my food and I know when I mess up. Remember he is not a "mind reader". Good luck on your journey to a healthy life-style. emoticon

TACDGB Posts: 6,136
5/26/13 7:13 P

Maybe not say anything for a while. see if he notices the weight loss...then have him support you. By then you should be in a good place and have your healthy habits in place.

KEEPGOINGEMILY SparkPoints: (20,637)
Fitness Minutes: (11,061)
Posts: 676
5/26/13 5:32 P

Haha! Maybe that's it, I don't like to be called out when I make a bad choice, as much as I might actually need and benefit from that accountability. Toward the end of last summer I was doing really good and he was even working out with me, a couple times a week we'd do an exercise video together. I am sure he'd do whatever I asked in order to be supportive, but I don't know what to ask for.

5/26/13 5:17 P

I am not sure about what your boy friend's personality is like or how your relationship works, however, it does seem like it is some fear of failure as you said as well as the possibility of him not supporting you as you imagine him doing so.

Probably the most difficult thing for me, when my wife discusses starting a new life style, is that when I do support her and when she makes a bad decision to eat that piece of cake and I mention it to her. That she gets angry, makes an excuse that we are with the kids, or celebrating something or whatever. Then when I push the issue about her new life style that she is trying to go for she gets angry at me. So I don't know if something like this could happen to you or not. I am dealing with those swings but it makes it difficult because she gets angry when I don't support her and she gets angry when I catch her on a bad choice of food. Good luck with discussing this with your boy friend. If he is really into you and wants to be with you then I would expect him to support you in anyway that he can.

KEEPGOINGEMILY SparkPoints: (20,637)
Fitness Minutes: (11,061)
Posts: 676
5/26/13 4:54 P

So, I've been on and off my healthful efforts at least 3-4 times over the past couple years. Just like you can't un-ring a bell, I can't forget how good it felt to be making good choices, losing weight, and generally being healthier. I gave up my last effort in the fall of last year I think, so it's been a long winter and spring, gaining weight all the while.
This week, I finally got over the hump of "I should" and turned it back into " I am" working on making better choices and hopefully lose some weight.

I have been tracking and measuring all my foods for a few days, and exercising once my boyfriend heads off to work. For some reason, I just really feel uncomfortable discussing it with him, but tomorrow's his day off and I started an exercise streak! I know he will be supportive, so I don't quite know why I feel like hiding it. Is it just fear of failure?

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