Hi Linda ! I think you're being far too hard on yourself. Don't beat on yourself because there may be days you eat more than others. Remember, you're trying to change habits learned over a life time. That's not going to happen overnight, a week, a month or even a year. Change takes time. So, if your birthday is coming up, enjoy yourself !! Spark People isn't about deprivation. It's all about portion control and moderation. I can't imagine living a life where I wasn't allowed to have a slice of cake because I worried that I'd gain weight.
A piece of cake, cookie, candy, pizza, glass of wine can all be a part of a healthy lifestyle. It's all a matter of being mindful of the portion size, that's all.
But here's the thing, learning portion control takes time. So, once again, don't beat on yourself because you aren't perfect. Don't try to be perfect or you will end up frustrated. Make small changes. take small steps. If the only healthy thing you were to do for yourself today was to drink 8 glasses of water, that's a step in the right direction. With time, you'll make more healthy changes. If you were to make one healthy change each week, in one year, that would be 52 changes !
So, no more beatings, you can do this. just take this slowly. make those small changes. let them become habit. If you were to eat right 5 out of 7 days this week, you'd still be doing better than the average American.
Think progress over perfection.