UPDATE: My son has been spending a lot of "extra time" after work with Boss Lady. He even pulled the old--"I should just go live with her" routine after he deliberately picked a fight with me. Boss Lady pulled another stunt and tried to get me involved so he'd take her side against me, I guess but it didn't work. Blessedly, somebody told somebody, etc. about the woman so Blake is supposed to be transferred to another office next week. I am hoping she'll just move on to the next guy once Blake is working somewhere else but what I've seen, she may just dig in harder. I am trying to compartmentalize this whole thing so I can get back to my diet/exercise routine but sometimes I get so frustrated I'll either fast, overeat and worse yet-smoke after being smoke-free for such a long time.
I went back and found the original post because I just had to see what this girl was all about. I don't know why she is interested in him, other than possible he gave her attention and that's what she wanted. Like a lot of others said support him the best way you know how. Try not to be too judgmental because that normally makes kids do the opposite, but I am betting you know that already. Hopefully he will find someone that makes him happy and you are more comfortable with. The part about her accidentally sending you text messages meant for him I think is ridiculous. I believe you are right in saying that she wanted you to see them, she knew they would make you upset. And I think you did the right thing about the graduation dinner. It was something for the family set up a long time in advance. So don't feel bad about that. Just keep praying God will work it all out. And good luck!!!
I bet my mom could have written a similar post about my boyfriends about 15 years ago! I came from a nice family and made straight A's in high school but I brought home the most horrendous guys For example: my mom caught me corresponding with a boyfriend that was in jail, I dated guys that she had taught (remediation teacher) and had failed a couple of times, tattoos were almost a must, etc. I don't know how my mom and dad put up with it! But, they never, ever, ever discouraged me from dating these guys and got to know each one of them - that I brought home, for who they were and not just what they appeared to be (mostly my mom because my dad was kind of clueless as to what was going on). The guys were always complete gentlemen to my parents and treated me well. I never got into (real) trouble with them although some were definitely a bad influence.
I never lost sight of what I wanted out of life or my future and I attribute that to my parents always being a good influence on me. My mom was always supportive of who I dated as long as I was happy and treated right. She never put down a boyfriend in front of me and even welcomed them in our home and family events if we were dating for a long time. I truly believe that it was because of her accepting them and never pushing me away that her and I have an amazing relationship and in the end I married a wonderful guy that both my mom and dad ADORE.
Hopefully your son is in a phase like I was. Once I got to college I started dating a higher quality of guys and my standards rose significantly. I am glad my parents allowed me to get it out of my system when I was young, and to make those mistakes when I was young, so I wouldn't make even bigger ones (marriage, kids with the wrong guy) when I got older. I know I put my parents through A LOT but I also that it is because of their love and unwavering support that I have an amazing life now.
Last night was my son, Blake's, graduation. I 'm sitting with his "Nana and Papaw" when "Boss Lady" shows up with her three year old and eighteen month old sons and gets a few people to move so they all can sit right next to me! Three people in one seat. The youngest was so cramped and uncomfortable that he started crying about ten minutes into the ceremony so she finally got up, took both boys into the hallway and must have watched the from there because she ambushed us when it was over. She also tried getting invited to our pre-planned, reservations set weeks ago post-grad dinner by saying her kids would love to go! Didn't happen but I felt she was using those kids as pawns so we'd make some arrangement for them to join us.
I gave the briefest, most "Christian" explanation I could of who that girl was to Nana but she wasn't buying it and has decided to 'look into' this situation herself. Blake, however, is unbelievably na´ve about (and probably flattered by) this woman. I've promised myself that I'll stay out of it as long as she and I have no contact--she shouldn't try to involve me anyway, right? But I see disaster everywhere, i.e. baby #4 with Daddy #3!
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